Tuning Slide 5.17- Giving Thanks- A Story to Tell

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Music can heal the wounds which medicine cannot touch.
Debasish Mridha

The past two weeks have been difficult, which is why there wasn’t a Tuning Slide post last week. One of my older and deeper friends had a major health event two weeks ago tomorrow. We waited and prayed. A lot! My wife and I spent his last day at the hospital with his wife and daughter. We said goodbye about an hour after the life-support was disconnected. Five minutes after we walked out the door, he passed. Over these weeks, music was the grounding force of my life. This week, then, I have a couple of stories to tell. Since last week was Thanksgiving, the stories connect with the holiday and the gratitude I have felt in the midst of the difficulties.

The overall story goes back many years- thirty-five, to be exact. This friend was a highly talented musician. He was more than just excellent at guitar, banjo, and mandolin. He had played in many groups over the years. He was also our neighbor, he had children the same age group as our daughter, and was a member of our church. We did a lot together- if it wasn’t about church, faith, and family, it usually involved music. He was often encouraging me to work on my musical skills at the trumpet- and the guitar.

One day we were sitting having a conversation over lunch or some meal or other. We began talking about music in the church- and church musicians, many of whom were our friends in our church as well as in the larger community. We were commenting about something or other of those things that often bug pastors, even pastors like myself who were also musicians. For some now long-forgotten reason, I made some comment about myself not being one of those church musicians who would give pastors headaches. He got this “oh, really?” look on his face, paused and said:

“If you practiced more, you might.”

He looked satisfied with that- and dropped the subject.

I didn’t forget, however. I especially remembered it a number of times in the past 8-10 years when I did start practicing more- a lot more! I remembered it as my skills did improve. He was one of those smacks up the side of the head that made me wonder what it was I could really do with music if I put my mind to it.

As part of that ongoing subtle prodding, he suggested I go with him up north one year to a bluegrass jam camp he had discovered. While I have tried to learn to play guitar a number of times over the past 50+ years, I never progressed. I wanted to be as good at the guitar as I was at the trumpet, but without the years of practice. He told me there would be a number of others at the camp with the same skill level as I had- and that it would be fun. Since I have always enjoyed bluegrass music- the jazz of country music- I finally agreed. It was everything he said- and more. He and I then organized a couple bluegrass jam camps of our own at our church’s camp in Wisconsin and had the chance to meet, work with, and become friends with Monroe Crossing, one of Minnesota’s top bluegrass groups. I even went to several monthly jam sessions in the Twin Cities before moving.

After the move, my bluegrass chops began to fall away when my trumpet chops and engagement in a number of groups grew. I continued to love bluegrass and listened to it. I attempted to work on trumpet or brass quintet arrangements of some bluegrass classics. They haven’t fallen into place, but my friend did encourage me at it.

Back in September our community band was putting the music together for our fall concert. I was overjoyed to see an arrangement of a bluegrass classic, Arkansas Traveler, in the list. I took the first part with the short 16-bar solo in the middle of it. I knew it would be fun and would fit right in with all my many musical interests.That piece became the closing number of the concert.

The concert was last Saturday, only three hours after my friend died.

I had told his family about it and we were all humbled by the timing. Over the past couple of years I have lost most of my fear and anxiety of solos. As we came to my three measures of rest right before the solo, I said a brief “Thank you. This is for you, my friend” and just played.

But the story isn’t quite over. The next night my wife and I were at another concert in the Twin Cities with the incredible guitar duo of Rodrigo y Gabriela. They both talked during the concert about how powerful and important music is. It is, they both said, “a force for healing.” My friend knew that in his life. One of the groups that he played with for a number of years was a faith-based group. He often talked about how the music they played in concert or for church was more than performing. It was spirit. It was faith being lived and shared. He often talked about how when they sand and the audience or congregation sang with them, it was a “boomerang” effect. The music and faith, and healing, that they sent out was echoed back to them.

As I put all this together, and our big band played a gig this past Monday, I realized that is what has been happening in my life over these 55 years since I started playing the trumpet. It is what I discovered playing in many groups over the years. It is what I am continuing to discover, even when I sit and play long tones or woodshed a difficult part of a piece. It is what happens when our big band plays for a senior citizens group- and they smile, tap their feet, and even sometimes yell “wahoo!” when we’re done.

Music. What a joy, what a gift both to give and receive. I am thankful to overflowing with it. Never lose it. Keep playing, keep practicing, keep performing. You and the people around you will discover healing and hope.

My friend’s memorial will be next Saturday. It will be a celebration of his life- and it will be filled with music!

Thanksgiving Day 2019

It has been a difficult two weeks with friends and family concerns. Yet today IS Thanksgiving Day here in the United States. I am grateful for so many things today, I cannot even begin to list them. The poem below was posted on the On Being website several years ago. It is perfect.

I pray that everyone enjoys this day and can move through the downs of the past and look forward with grateful hope.

Three Gratitudes

Carrie Newcomer

Every night before I go to sleep
I say out loud
Three things that I’m grateful for,
All the significant, insignificant
Extraordinary, ordinary stuff of my life.
It’s a small practice and humble,
And yet, I find I sleep better
Holding what lightens and softens my life
Ever so briefly at the end of the day.
Sunlight, and blueberries,
Good dogs and wool socks,
A fine rain,
A good friend,
Fresh basil and wild phlox,
My father’s good health,
My daughter’s new job,
The song that always makes me cry,
Always at the same part,
No matter how many times I hear it.
Decent coffee at the airport,
And your quiet breathing,
The stories you told me,
The frost patterns on the windows,
English horns and banjos,
Wood Thrush and June bugs,
The smooth glassy calm of the morning pond,
An old coat,
A new poem,
My library card,
And that my car keeps running
Despite all the miles.
And after three things,
More often than not,
I get on a roll and I just keep on going,
I keep naming and listing,

Until I lie grinning,
Blankets pulled up to my chin,
Awash with wonder
At the sweetness of it all.

Tuning Slide 4.48- Being Free- Gratitude

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?
– Danielle LaPorte

Three weeks ago I started a series based on a blog post at Planet of Success. It is about 10 powerful ways to free yourself if you are stuck. I took the concepts and riffed on them from my own experiences in the last 8-10 years to overcome self-defeating attitudes that kept me from changing and growing in my trumpet playing. Here are the 10 themes of the previous three weeks:

1. Face your fears
2. Break your routine
3. Effect change, one step at a time
4. Overcome the perception of impossibilities
5. Be honest with yourself
6. Change your perspective
7. Differentiate between feeling and fact
8. Avoid blaming others
9. Stop comparing yourself to others
10. Stop making excuses

But I said there were 10, what gives? Well, the post actually gave 11 ways to set yourself free. That means there is one more to go- and perhaps the most important in the long run.

But first I want to tell you about two incidents within the past week that gives added impetus to what I have been writing about. The first was last Monday evening at Big Band practice. As we were putting the chairs and stands away one of the other trumpet players, who is a regular reader of this blog and knows my story, gave me a big smile and said to me, “When I started that solo in one of the songs, my horn was full of water. I bet you never even noticed.” He was referring to my story from that Memorial Day fifty-some years ago when water in my horn embarrassed me and started the long road to try to rebuild my self-confidence.

No, I hadn’t even noticed- as probably no one fifty years ago did, either. Thanks, Steve, for the reminder that I am my own worst enemy at times.

The second event built on it and was at community band on Thursday evening, the last rehearsal before the concert this past Saturday. There were only four of our six trumpets there due to schedule conflicts. That meant that each of us was a little more on our own than usual. It also meant that we were each often almost playing solo parts. On one piece I was the only 1st trumpet. Anyone who has followed this blog knows that when that happens I easily tense up, muscles contract, my brain seems to misfire, and Self One says, “You really think you can do that?”

Well, I knew all the music very well, I took some breaths, relaxed, and let Self Two tell Self One to be quiet, that yes, I really know I can do this. And I did- as did all of us. For one of the first times in any of the groups I play in at home, I was confident and relaxed. Did I make mistakes? Sure- that’s one of the purposes of rehearsals- to figure out where the weaknesses are and fix them.

So with all that for a long example, I come to the last of the things that Steve Mueller outlined for getting unstuck in that article. It may, in the long run, be the most important interaction between our music and our life:

11. Be grateful for what you have
✓ We sometimes feel as if we’re not moving forward when we think we haven’t yet accomplished enough in life. As a result, we’re quite frustrated about our situation. If we do not succeed as much as we desire, it can feel as if we’re stuck in life.

Developing the habit of being grateful can help you to ease the feeling of being stuck. It helps us to rediscover what is beautiful about our life. Gratitude can also enable us to find what makes our life worth living. As a positive side effect, we spent a lot less time chasing evermore. Instead, we learn to find joy and fulfillment in everything we already have.

Ultimately, this is the way to truly relieve yourself from the feeling of not being able to move on. So take yourself some time to count your blessings. Appreciate everything you’ve been given.

Gratitude is something we often overlook in our music as well as in our daily lives. Gratitude works with parts of the brain that produces dopamine, the “feel good” brain chemical. Because you get that feel good reward you are then learning to do that same thing again. It becomes a cycle of doing the right things and finding the reasons to be grateful.

It takes practice, of course, to become better at seeing and responding with gratitude. It is a skill, one that is essential to our positive health and growth. Keep a gratitude journal, say thank you to people, feel the joy of music, be grateful for the ability to play music and then let it move through you.

I went home last Thursday after rehearsal grateful and flying high. It felt good to be able to do what I needed to do. It felt good to know I am capable and have skills. It felt good to know for the first time in some ways that I am no longer as stuck as I thought I was. It is time to move forward.

Did that carry over to the concert?

You bet it did! Gratitude and experience reinforced each other. I do have to admit that it wasn’t as good as Thursday evening. But I also know why- and will be working on it. But the confidence and greater willingness to let Self Two do his thing were there. It is, after all, progress - not perfection and I am progressing!

Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.
— Lionel Hampton

4.19- Tuning Slide: Music and Thanksgiving

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.
— William Arthur Ward

Without gratitude my life would be dull and pretty well beyond help. It is the foundation of whatever I have and whatever I have been blessed to share. A day without gratitude? I really don’t know any more. It would be a day lost.

Music, for me does the same thing as gratitude. I can’t live without either one.

Music, too, can transform common days into thanksgivings,
turn routine jobs into joy, and
change ordinary opportunities into blessings.

The music I am thankful for makes me move, makes me pay attention to life and hope, inspires me to be better than I am at what I do, and moves me to smile in the deepest part of my soul. It’s why I play music. Every day. It’s why I try to listen to music every day. I tried to figure out which ones are my favorites.

Yeah, right! How can I narrow it down to less than fifty or one hundred? But here are four that in a quick thought, make me smile and be part of this amazing gift of music. Have a Happy Thanksgiving this week.

Listen to music.
Play music.
Smile. A lot!

First, the energy that moves the world as best seen in Buddy Rich- Birdland

Then the sound that propels me to be better- even at my age. Listen to the complete range of sound that Doc Severinsen can make- A Song for You.

From an album of all new material, this version was recorded just up the road right here in Minnesota at The Current, part of Minnesota Public Radio. The Preservation Hall Jazz Band- That’s It!

Finally, Satchmo in a true song of Thanksgiving. Listen and give thanks with Louis Armstrong- What a Wonderful World

The Tuning Slide 3.22- Gratitude and Music

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.
- Fredrich Nietzsche

It is Thanksgiving tomorrow. It is the day we single out to be grateful. In reality gratitude and thanksgiving are actually essential elements of happy and many creative lives. It can provide a sense of hope and strength in even the most difficult of times and places. It is good to take a moment this week to remember to be grateful.

Almost four years ago The Huffington Post had an article titled Music and Gratitude: The Gifts That Keep On Giving by Frank Fitzpatrick. (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-fitzpatrick/music-and-gratitude-the-g_b_4401547.html) The writer had attended a rare concert by composer Johnny Mandel ("The Shadow of Your Smile", the "Theme from M*A*S*H") which was on Mandel’s 88th birthday. Fitzpatrick wrote:

I felt deep gratitude for that opportunity to be there with Johnny, my good friends and the beautiful music. I enjoyed a sonic journey back through my life — reflecting on loved ones and fond memories. It was Johnny himself, however, who brought the power of gratitude into the spotlight. With an innocent pride and profound sense of humility, he turned and thanked us for sharing with him the greatest birthday gift he could ask for — a chance to make music and to relish with us in the experience as his compositions were performed by these astounding musicians. You could see the youthful sparkle of joy in his eyes.

Truly one of the great joys of music is to be in the presence of such mastery as Johnny Mandel or Doc Severinsen or whoever your musical hero might be. Those of us who had the chance this past April to meet Doc in Eau Claire, WI, are still living in the glow of that time. I wish I could have played in the band behind him, but just to be there as the music flowed in gratitude from him was a life -filling moment. Earlier in the day we heard Doc interviewed by Bob Baca and it was amazing to see and feel a sense of humility and gratitude. It was real.

That evening, after the show in the green room I had the opportunity to be with a number of the students as they waited for Doc. When he was ready he didn’t disappoint any of us! He was as truly present with each of them (and me) as he was on the stage with the music. Again, here was a musical icon, superhero, superstar, and many other things. Yet he paid attention to us. I heard from others similar stories of their interactions with Doc. He showed amazing gratitude for what he has been able to do in his now 90+ years.

Fitzpatrick expressed in his article what I had felt from Doc:

This sense of deep gratitude, and the humility that makes it possible, is one of the most inspiring qualities that I have found in other visionaries and masters of their craft whom I have had the privilege to meet in my life….

It brings me back to my opening paragraph above about the essential foundation of gratitude. It can lead us to be more present (mindful) in daily experiences. It can fill us with those moments of awe when we play an amazing piece or participate in an equally amazing concert. It can lead us to know life in new ways. Again, from Fitzpatrick’s article:

I found myself reflecting on the deeper meaning and quality of life. I thought about the values and tools that have allowed me to be more present, to feel more deeply and to continue to reconnect to the joy in life. I remembered what my mother taught me about the power of humility and what one of my teachers meant when he said gratitude was the shortest road to joy. While music has been one of the greatest connectors for me, I have come to realize how much more empowering that emotional channel can be when I surrender to it, trust in it, and honor life with humility and gratitude. Music can, in and of itself, be a great expression of gratitude.

I believe that true musical mastery, like gratitude itself, requires a kind of humility — a recognition that something far greater than us is at play, and an appreciation for the gifts and love we have received.

No matter where I find myself in my life, I can always return to the music and the gratitude and follow that path to joy.

I don’t believe I can add much more to that, other than to take the time tomorrow to reflect on what I have been blessed and present to experience since last Thanksgiving. The joy of gratitude is real as I have had the opportunities (many of them!) to be part of things that are greater than I am. In them I find joy- and home and meaning.

What does this have to do with this month’s theme of practice? Actually everything. If we do not approach our practice, our musical learning, and our musicianship as a gift to be grateful for, we will not put the energy or care into it. I really want to say, we won’t put the love into it. If I don’t love my music and my practice of it, if I am not grateful for the growth that practice can bring, I will lose interest and not go where the music can take me. I will be mediocre, or mechanical, or emotionless in my music without love and gratitude for music.

What a gift to celebrate each day. Take time to practice and play your music with gratitude this week. It will be amazing, I am sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, a shout-out to all of you who have mentored me, played in groups with me, given me inspiration and direction since last Thanksgiving. What a gift you have all been to me. I can’t name you all for fear of forgetting someone. Fellow students, instructors, colleagues on the stage, gurus, and superstars- thank you!

Link to Huffington Post article.

The Tuning Slide 3.17

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

True enjoyment comes from

activity of the mind and exercise of the body;

the two are ever united.

-Wilhelm von Humboldt

We have been talking about how to become a musician this month- at least in behaviors, actions, and attitudes. At the heart of it is always that priority list:

1. The music
2. Our colleagues
3. The audience
4. Ourselves

Unfortunately, since it puts "ourselves" last, people often use that as an excuse NOT to take care of themselves. We end up pushing ourselves beyond our limits into wearing down of our energy, skills, and careers. The issue of balancing extremes that I talked about last week in relation to our actual playing is just as important when it comes to taking care of ourselves. It can be so easy to mess up our lives by not paying attention to what’s important in how we look after ourselves. We ignore warning signs of extreme fatigue, we think that we will always be able to do everything we have always done, we will not take care of our body, mind, and spirit. Many of us will actually take better care of our instrument than we will of ourselves.

In reality if we don’t take care of ourselves we can easily get into deep trouble physically and emotionally. In the end the music we produce will suffer, the relationships with other musicians will deteriorate, and we might not have an audience to play for. Taking care of ourselves, I am convinced, is the same as cleaning, caring for, and tuning an instrument.

Last summer I explained to Bill Bergren at the workshop what I was hoping to get out of an individual lesson. He took my horn from me, pulled out the tuning slide and looked down the lead pipe.

“When was the last time you cleaned this?” He looked in my mouthpiece, handed the trumpet back to me and just shook his head.

I cleaned it that night- and there was way more of the ugly green gunk than I wanted to see. That green gunk is a metaphor for what happens to me when I don’t take care of me!

So I did some surfing around the Internet and found many good bits of advice as I got ready to write this week’s post. They sum up the different areas of our lives that need self-monitoring on a regular basis. That is the “mindfulness” that I talk about so often. The better we pay attention to ourselves and what is going on around us, the better we will learn to take care of ourselves.

I put the things I found into a series of categories:

✓ Balance
Avoiding extremes
✓ Breathing/Relaxation
Developing tension releasing activities
✓ Commitment
Making self-care non-negotiable. (It has to be part of the daily routine!)
✓ Exercise
Keeping the instrument of self physically tuned
✓ Gratitude
Developing an attitude of humility and grace
✓ Mindfulness
Learning to be self-aware both inwardly and outwardly

First, on the Musician’s Way website, (https://www.musiciansway.com/blog/2009/11/the-12-habits-of-healthy-musicians/) Gerald Klickstein had twelve habits of a healthy musician. Here are the ones I felt fit best with this post:

• Manage your workload (Balance)
• Heed warning signs (Mindfulness)
• Minimize tension (Breathing/Relaxation)
• Take charge of anxiety (Breathing/Relaxation)
• Keep fit and strong (Exercise)

On the website Psych Central (https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-clinicians-practice-self-care-9-tips-for-readers/) there was an article about how medical clinicians and counselors learn to take care of themselves. Here are some of the tips from there that seems most appropriate.

• Remember that self-care is non-negotiable. (Commitment)
• Put it on your calendar — in ink! (Commitment)
• Know when to say no. (Balance)
• Identify what activities help you feel your best. (Balance)
• Take care of yourself physically. (Exercise)
• Surround yourself with great people. (Mindfulness)
• Meditation (Mindfulness)
• Check in with yourself regularly (Mindfulness)

To be a healthy musician, then, let's put these together:

• Mindfulness:
  
  • Check in with yourself regularly
  • Heed warning signs
  • Meditation
• Gratitude:
  
  • Surround yourself with great people
• Balance:
  
  • Know when to say no
  • Manage your workload
  • Identify the activities for relaxation and renewal that can help you feel your best
• Commitment:
  
  • Put your self-care activities on your calendar in ink
  • Remember they need to be non-negotiable
• Breathing/Relaxation:
  
  • Minimize sources of tension
  • Take charge of anxiety
• Exercise:
  
  • Take care of yourself physically
  • Keep fit and strong

As to that last one, I have been a wannabe exerciser for years. I manage to keep at it for a while, then something changes and I get lazy or off-track. (I have been a certified group trainer, as well.) Yet I have always known and experienced that when I am taking care of myself physically through exercise and better eating, I am better overall, and I am a better musician. There are many places to find ideas about exercise for musicians. I came across one set that was really helpful. The site is Take Lessons (https://takelessons.com/blog/fitness-exercises-for-musicians) and they had a wonderful bit of information for musicians. They also had a number of links to helpful videos. Here are seven of their ten ideas, chosen more by my own experience to share:

• Yoga- Stretching and movement with balance and intention is a great metaphor for musicians. We can learn it well through yoga. The website talked about “power” yoga. Not a necessity in my opinion. Yoga will do it without all the extras added.
• Core Exercises- The core, the abs, are the supporting foundation for all good health. They provide a way for musicians to be more focused and relaxed because they are well supported. The benefits of a strong core I don’t think can be overstated! Pilates is an excellent way to build this.
• Posture- We have all heard that having good posture does a lot- we just ignore it. Yet a good posture will support better music. It also has a lot to do with breathing. And efficient use of breath is essential to those of us who are wind musicians!
  (http://brassmusician.com/posture-and-breathing-by-mike-white/)
• Arm Strength (biceps, triceps, shoulders)- Think about holding the instrument! Need I say more?
• Cardio- A healthy heart will help get that air moving and increase endurance.
• Neck & Shoulder stretches
  (http://www.musicnotes.com/blog/2014/06/17/stretches-for-musicians/)
• Meditation- Yes, this can be an important part of exercise. Next week I will talk more about this in relation to T’ai Chi and Qigong.

I hope I am preaching to the choir in this post. I am a strong supporter of self-care. It is not being selfish. It is taking care of yourself as a way of helping others. It is in line with the instructions you hear on an airplane. If the oxygen mask drops down, put yours on FIRST before helping even a little child put their on. You can’t help if you aren’t safe yourself.

Take care of you. It’s the only you that you will have.

Life: It Is!

Yes, life just is. Put about any word that fits for you right now and it will be right.

Life is.

• A friend's wife has cancer.
• A retired friend, an iconic person in my years in ministry, is in hospice care.
• A college friend, who later was a colleague of mine in a clinical practice, died suddenly only months after retirement.

Life is.

For this week, then, is a reminder that life is precious and fragile. Perhaps the fragility is part of what makes it precious. This is not a surprise. I have dealt with death since my parents died when I was a teenager. As a pastor I have officiated at funerals of an 8-year old and a nearly 100 year old.

Life is precious, fragile, and unpredictable. Of the three things this week, only the hospice care is less of a surprise. The other two- unexpected, out of the blue, a break in the fabric of my life, if only for a moment.

Yet a reminder that the break in my fabric of life will also happen one day. It is not an easy thing to think about when you feel happy, healthy, and younger than the calendar tells you. It is not easy, even when you are now older than just about anybody you knew in your immediate family. The mask of immortality that we all wear gets a little ragged around the edges on a week like this.

Which is good. We need that balance between mortality and immortality. We need to maintain that awareness of the shortness of life, yet without allowing that to infect us with defeatism- or fear. What is, is. What will be, will be.

So this week I am also grateful for what my life has contained- more than I can even make a dent in recounting.

• Family! 
• Friends! 
• Career! 
• Fun! 
• Meaning! 
• Joy! 
• Health! 
• I have been granted the opportunity to continue the best of both my personal and career worlds in retirement. 
• I have had the chance to become the musician I have always dreamed of wanting to be. 
• I work in a job that is rewarding, challenging, and never dull- but 
• I am also "retired" so I can balance that work with my other passions.

That is only the surface.

For today, I am filled with these words attributed originally to a Confederate soldier, but as real today as they were a century and a half ago.

Most Richly Blessed
by an Unknown Civil War Soldier 

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do great things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might become wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need for God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given Life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers and true needs were fulfilled.

I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

The Tuning Slide: 2.21- Growing Mindfulness

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

As you begin to realize that every different type of music, everybody's individual music, has its own rhythm, life, language and heritage, you realize how life changes, and you learn how to be more open and adaptive to what is around us.
-Yo-Yo Ma

Becoming open and adaptive the what is around us is a goal for every musician. A good word for it is mindfulness. In the ongoing spirit of this blog where tuning ourselves helps us be in tune with our music- and vice versa, I am going to step away from music for most of this post and talk about being mindful. Don’t forget- how you do anything is how you do everything. Therefore if you do anything with mindfulness, you will learn to do everything with mindfulness. The result will be that you are a better musician and a better person.

Let’s start with a reminder of what mindfulness is. The person who has introduced mindfulness to millions is Jon Kabat-Zinn. His classic definition is simple and to the point.

Mindfulness is awareness that arises through
⁃ Paying attention,
⁃ On purpose,
⁃ In the present moment,
⁃ Non-judgementally. It’s about knowing what is on your mind.

How can we learn this? I found a web site called Zen Habits that lists some possible “rituals” that can help develop mindfulness. Here are a few of them that can be important for our developing musician mindfulness.

It’s good to start the day being mindful. Zen Habits suggests two mindful actions. (Original comments in italics; mine within brackets.):

Sit in the morning. When you wake up, in the quiet of the morning, perhaps as your coffee is brewing, get a small cushion and sit on the floor. I will often use this opportunity to stretch, as I am very inflexible. I feel every muscle in my body, and it is like I am slowly awakening to the day. I’ll also just sit, and focus on my breathing going in and out. [I’ll have more on breathing and mindfulness meditation again in a future post.]

Brush your teeth. I assume we all brush our teeth, but often we do it while thinking of other things. Try fully concentrating on the action of brushing, on each stroke of each tooth, going from one side of the mouth to the other. You end up doing a better job, and it helps you realize how much we do on autopilot. [Here is a good example of how we do anything can impact everything. Just being mindful of brushing can train us to focus the mind.]

As you go through your day, take time for these:

Walk slowly. I like to take breaks from work, and go outside for a little walk. Walk slowly, each step a practice in awareness. Pay attention to your breathing, to everything around you, to the sounds and light and texture of objects. [Slow walking is great for feeling the body in motion. It can help us begin to “feel” what our body “feels” like. That is an important part of playing music- knowing what how our body is feeling and responding.]

Read in silence. Find a quiet time (mornings or evenings are great for me), and a quiet spot, and read a good novel. Have no television or computers on nearby, and just immerse yourself in the world of the novel. It might seem contradictory to let your mind move from the present into the time of the novel, but it’s a great practice in focus. [Just an “Amen!” to that! Note, though, that this isn’t studying or reading to learn- it is for enjoyment.]

As you think about your day, Zen Habits suggests practicing your ability to focus. This one might be helpful if you have a significant concert or performance coming and you need to get the feel of it.

Work with focus. Start your workday by choosing one task that will make a big difference in your work, and clearing everything else away. Just do that one task, and don’t switch to other tasks. [Then apply this to your music practice. Simple, yes, but it takes practice.]

Dr. Amit Sood, one of my mentors from Mayo Clinic suggests that we should have a specific “theme” for each day of the week and stay focused on that through the day. His weekly list is

Monday: Gratitude
Tuesday: Compassion
Wednesday: Acceptance
Thursday: Higher Meaning
Friday: Forgiveness
Saturday: Celebration
Sunday: Reflection

If you start each day aware of the theme and learn to work on that for the day, in a few weeks all of the themes will be woven into the fabric of each day. It’s just like highlighting one part for each day. Then, with another few weeks practice you will know which of these is needed on any given day or even part of the day.

The goal of all this is that non-judgmental awareness- mindfulness.

As you develop these skills they will have a positive impact on your musicianship. Your musicality will be more even and not as dependent on “getting in the right mood” since you will have more awareness of how to focus on what is in front of you. It won’t be pulled down by other people as acceptance and compassion will be there. You will find yourself more balanced as you discover the greater meaning in your day and your music, celebrating with gratitude what you are given the chance to do. Reflection on your life and music will help you be more forgiving of others- and most importantly of yourself.

There is a comfort, peace and joy in deepening the ability to mindful. It gives each moment the possibility of new discoveries. It keeps us focused on what is in front of us, and it allows us to build today what will be good for us tomorrow. No judgement. Just start with what is and move from there.

The Tuning Slide: 2.16- Give Yourself a Gift

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Stephen Covey, educator and speaker, wrote one of the basic books on self-management in 1989, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Sometime in the new year I will be looking at these seven habits and applying them to our being and becoming musicians as well as effective humans. But for this week I simply want to think about the 7th habit which he called Sharpening the Saw- continually improving what we do and who we are.

On the Change Management Coach website, counseling psychologist and life coach Mark Connelly described it this way:

Habit 7 is about looking after yourself. You are the greatest asset you have and we have to learn to take time to look after ourselves. Stephen Covey suggests we pay attention to four areas in our lives:

Physical: Exercise, Nutrition, Stress Management
Spiritual: Value Clarification and Commitment, Study and Meditation
Mental: Reading, Visualizing, Planning, Writing
Social/Emotional: Service, Empathy, Synergy, Intrinsic Security.

Not a bad idea to consider this season. I have noticed that for many people this year’s season has been more low-key than usual. Several have said to me that the intensity and downright unusual behavior of the recent election campaign have worn us down. Energy levels have been depleted. The stress and tension evident in so many places can fog our brains and actions. We may find ourselves sitting and just wondering about everything and nothing. The physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional assets have been nearly exhausted. Many look around and wonder what happened to them and to the world we used to know. It feels dark- or at least gray and uncertain.

Yet this is a season of light. The three major holidays in the next two weeks are celebrations of light coming into the darkness. The Christmas season vibrates with light from stars, candles, and the hint of angels’ trumpets. The Jewish celebration of Hanukkah is called the Feast of Lights, celebrating the miracle of light in a dark time. The African-American Kwanzaa, begun 50 years ago, seven candles are lit bringing the light of the principles of the holiday season.

In addition to light and celebration of hope and unity and peace, gift-giving is very much a part of all three holidays. So, let me suggest that Covey’s 7th habit could also be described as giving yourself a gift and sharing your gift of yourself with others. As musicians we can be overly busy this season- but perhaps it can be seen as bringing the light of music to others. That shift in perspective can go a long way to changing how we see what we are doing. For example, I have been looking forward to playing with our quintet in church on Christmas morning. It is a gift to myself to be able to play the seasonal music in public. It is a gift to my own spiritual life to do it in church- even a church that is not part of my own tradition. It is a gift I am excited to share with those in church that morning. It is not a burden- it is a gift-receiving and gift-giving joy.

Then there are the many other ways we can gift ourselves this season. We can find those moments of rest and relaxation. Maybe we will have time to do some exercise or getting outdoors. (The physical.) We can look around and give thanks for what we have been given. We can celebrate our own spiritual and communal traditions and renew our commitments to our family, friends, and communities. (The spiritual.) We might want to take time to do some reading or meditating or listening to some good music. (The mental.) We can find ways to reach out to others, either with our music, a phone call, or connecting with friends. (The social.)

We need to take care of ourselves. That is not an end in itself. It is part of who we are. We need to be healthy for ourselves and to be able to share with others. We are social beings. We are spiritual beings. We are physical beings. All these come together when we keep ourselves as healthy and focused as we can.
Take care of yourselves. It has been a tough few months. Be good to yourself and those around you. You will be richly blessed.

Christmas. Hanukkah. Kwanzaa.

Celebrate the light and hope and peace within and around you.

Oh- and make sure you play your trumpet. That may be the most important gift to give yourself this year.

The Tuning Slide: 2.12- Gratitude (A reposting)

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

I have been under the weather this week so, since it is also a holiday week, I thought I would do what TV networks do, air a football game. No, wait. I will do a rerun from last Thanksgiving. Perhaps I don't write about gratitude often enough. When I am feeling "ill" the joy of feeling "good" is heightened. So, everyone, have a wonderful Thanksgiving. See you next week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gratitude is the music of the heart.

-Unknown

It's Thanksgiving Week and it is hard to move past the week without talking about gratitude.

Will gratitude make you a better musician? Not as much as practice will, but it will do something just as important that will have an impact- it will increase your mindfulness, your awareness of yourself and the world around you. THAT will help your trumpet playing.

• It will give you insight into your own life and emotions- an important part of being an advancing musician.
• It will keep you in touch with those around you that will make your life fuller and more enriching.
• It will keep you humble- which is another way of saying you will continue to be teachable- willing and ready to learn.
• It will increase your happiness levels on a daily basis, say a number of research studies.
• It will increase your energy and motivation more often.
• Depression and stress will be more easily coped with on a daily basis.

As preachers have been saying for years on Thanksgiving, don't just save all your gratitude for this one day. It actually will make you a better person if you learn to practice it every day.

• Dr. Amit Sood of Mayo Clinic suggests that you not get out of bed in the morning any day without some awareness of reasons or people to be grateful for.
• Keep a gratitude journal and review it on a daily basis.
• Don't repeat yourself- find new reasons to be grateful each day.
• Silently wish each person you pass in a given period of time, grace and peace.
• Meister Eckhart was a man of wisdom:

If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’

that would suffice.

– Meister Eckhart

One person who has helped me over the past couple years is Shane Burcaw. He is a young man with Spinal Muscular Atrophy and has been in a wheelchair his whole life. He also has a journalism degree, is the author of a wonderful book, Laughing at My Nightmare, is the founder of a foundation to assist others with Muscular Dystrophy and its variations, and has an incredible sense of humor. His attitude is nothing short of remarkable. No, he does not play trumpet (I don't think so, anyway!) but he is a person filled with energy- and gratitude.

Every week he posts a list called What Made Me Smile This Week. There are many things each week that bring a smile to Shane's face: meeting with elementary school students, binge watching a TV show, or drinking chocolate coffee.

Each week he makes me smile. He also reminds me of the wonders I miss around me when all I do is complain or find reasons to criticize. He challenges me, someone nearly three times his age, to see the world as fresh and refreshing each day. No matter what!

Maybe I should apply that to my trumpet playing and practice. How did my practicing today make me smile? What were the moments of gratitude and joy? Maybe I wasn't as focused as I needed to be, but what was neat about it? Maybe it was the particular exercise that is just fun to play. Maybe it was the ability to hit some difficult notes with a little more clarity. Maybe it was just the way I felt after making music.

What works for you? Where are you grateful today? Just enjoy it. No matter what!

The Tuning Slide - With Gratitude

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Gratitude is the music of the heart.

-Unknown

It's Thanksgiving Week and it is hard to move past the week without talking about gratitude.

Will gratitude make you a better musician? Not as much as practice will, but it will do something just as important that will have an impact- it will increase your mindfulness, your awareness of yourself and the world around you. THAT will help your trumpet playing.

• It will give you insight into your own life and emotions- an important part of being an advancing musician. 
• It will keep you in touch with those around you that will make your life fuller and more enriching. 
• It will keep you humble- which is another way of saying you will continue to be teachable- willing and ready to learn.
• It will increase your happiness levels on a daily basis, say a number of research studies.
• It will increase your energy and motivation more often.
• Depression and stress will be more easily coped with on a daily basis.

As preachers have been saying for years on Thanksgiving, don't just save all your gratitude for this one day. It actually will make you a better person if you learn to practice it every day.

• Dr. Amit Sood of Mayo Clinic suggests that you not get out of bed in the morning any day without some awareness of reasons or people to be grateful for. 
• Keep a gratitude journal and review it on a daily basis. 
• Don't repeat yourself- find new reasons to be grateful each day.
• Silently wish each person you pass in a given period of time, grace and peace.
• Meister Eckhart was a man of wisdom:

If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’

that would suffice.

– Meister Eckhart

One person who has helped me over the past couple years is Shane Burcaw. He is a young man with Spinal Muscular Atrophy and has been in a wheelchair his whole life. He also has a journalism degree, is the author of a wonderful book, Laughing at My Nightmare, is the founder of a foundation to assist others with Muscular Dystrophy and its variations, and has an incredible sense of humor. His attitude is nothing short of remarkable. No, he does not play trumpet (I don't think so, anyway!) but he is a person filled with energy- and gratitude.

Every week he posts a list called What Made Me Smile This Week. There are many things each week that bring a smile to Shane's face: meeting with college students at his Alma Mater (Moravian College!), eating turkey chili, giving a talk at an elementary school, writing, or just being able to stretch out after a long day.

Each week he makes me smile. He also reminds me of the wonders I miss around me when all I do is complain or find reasons to criticize. He challenges me, someone nearly three times his age, to see the world as fresh and refreshing each day. No matter what!

Maybe I should apply that to my trumpet playing and practice. How did my practicing today make me smile? What were the moments of gratitude and joy? Maybe I wasn't as focused as I needed to be, but what was neat about it? Maybe it was the particular exercise that is just fun to play. Maybe it was the ability to hit some difficult notes with a little more clarity. Maybe it was just the way I felt after making music.

What works for you? Where are you grateful today? Just enjoy it. No matter what!

It's Not Supposed to Change

I drove through my hometown today. It's been about six years since I last was there and this was just a passing through. We didn't have time this trip to stop and visit like we prefer doing. Over the past year or so I have been working on a memoir that, naturally, features my hometown. That means that I have spent a lot of time there - in my head and memory.

Imagine my shock today when the real town was there. The town that does not look like it did in 1965 (and earlier); the town that has been through changes and disasters as well as boom and bust. I drove down the street beside my childhood home. It's not the same. It was, as I remember it, a tree-lined street all the way down the next two blocks. Today there are none of those trees. All gone. "My" backyard is now not visible from the street as tall, narrow trees block the view and it looks like a fence was there. The building that was once a high school and then my junior high, looks a little worse for wear although it is now a shopping center.

The streets seemed smaller. The yards more compact. The neighborhoods closer together. There were newer homes next to older ones. There were falling down older homes and others that were well-kept. New businesses exist and some of the older ones are still there. What had been my Dad's store is gone, replaced in town by the big chain store.

No, it is not the place that was my hometown. That place was left behind a long, long time ago. At first I felt sad. But then I realized that even more recent places and memories exist only in the past. We can learn from them, build on them, but we cannot live there.

The town that was my hometown is now someone else's hometown. Over 45 years of high school students have gone through, including the children of family and friends. I am not part of that town and have not been for over 30 years.

That's okay! It was what it was, and for that I am grateful.

Remembering

Saturday, October 29, 1988:

Best Selling books on the New York Times List:
THE QUEEN OF THE DAMNED, by Anne Rice. (Fiction)
A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME, by Stephen W. Hawking. (Non-fiction)

Top 5 songs in the USA:
1 GROOVY KIND OF LOVE –•– Phil Collins
2 KOKOMO –•– The Beach Boys
3 WILD, WILD WEST –•– The Escape Club
4 RED RED WINE –•– UB40
5 WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND (PURE ENERGY) –•– Information Society

Ronald Reagan was President and George H. W. Bush was a little more than a week shy of being elected to replace him.

The Berlin Wall still stood.

That is only 26 years ago.

Today I give thanks for 26 years of sobriety.

Awake for Twenty-Five Years

When I first got sober and was still in treatment another recovering person, an Episcopal priest, came to visit me. He was sober for a couple years at the time and reflected for a moment on his own journey up to that point. As he spoke he stopped and said:

Just wait until Easter. You won't believe it.

A little less than 5 months later I stood in our local Moravian cemetery for our wondrous Easter dawn service. I remember that there was some type of sunrise that morning. My wife/pastor spoke the ancient words:

The Lord is risen!

As I joined the rest of the gathered congregation in responding:

The Lord is risen indeed!

The congregation, led by our brass choir, me on trumpet, sang

Hail, all hail victorious Lord and Savior!

I played, hearing the well-known words in my head, and remembered the words of my recovering clergy colleague back in November and was amazed.

The twelfth step of Alcoholics Anonymous starts with the phrase

Having had a spiritual awakening...

At that moment I understood it.

I was awake.

That was 25 years ago on Easter. I remember it every year when we proclaim that the Lord is risen. I also remember that I, too, have been raised with Him to new life.

I am still awake and more grateful every year.

Taking a Break...

... from semi-retirement.

Well, after three months of the much sought-after and ballyhooed move into semi-retirement back on December 4, I am filling in full-time back at work.

That was short-lived.

Three months of semi-retirement, including the month in Alabama moved back to the old 8 to 5 routine this past Tuesday. Thanks to a need at work they called me and wondered if I could come in and sub for a while.

Sure. Why not?

After all it's still cold outside and it could snow some more and I'm just a good guy willing to help out.

So now, after three days back at work (in a job I truly love, by the way!) it has gone well. I have agreed on 6 - 8 weeks, if needed, which would take me to Easter or the first week of May. We will look at the needs after that, if I am still needed in the full-time position.

But, it's interesting to reflect on it. I am enjoying it since I enjoy the job. That gives me a moment's pause of how I responded to a previous generation who I saw as being unwilling to retire.

I don't think that's what I'm doing. The difference is in many aspects I have a control over my time, now, that I never had at any time in my adult working career of over 40 years. It is by choice that I am doing what I am doing- and caring for the work that is being done.

Yes, it is curtailing some of my new or renewed activities for the moment, but they haven't disappeared.

And, I have a perspective on how good I feel after these past 3 months. The "taking care of myself" without some of the stress and tension that work can bring is refreshing. As I sat in the office yesterday thinking about how lucky I am, I was humbled.

It is good to have a skill that can be used and that I can still use. It is good to be able to share with my co-workers. Finally, it is doing something I like.

Sure, it's nice to have the extra money and stretch what I have until I turn 66 and can take full Social Security. I can put some more aside for some trips and "toys."

But that isn't worth it if I am unhappy. Life's too short.

How blessed am I!

A day of gratitude without any doubt.

And I can always go back to semi-retirement hours at any time.

Gratitude Thought

In a discussion the other day the question was raised: Talk about a championship-type game you saw in person.

My first thought went back to the World Series in 1980 when the Phillies met Kansas City. I was lucky to be able to go to the first game at Veteran's Stadium that year and see the first ever World Series win by the Phillies (who did go on to win their first ever World Series!) Championship!

Then I went on in my thinking and realized that thanks to my daughter I had the opportunity to see a number of championship games of all different types when she was in school. Our Watertown Gosling HS boys basketball team went to the State Finals- and I was there. I also was there with my daughter at a state volleyball tournament with the Goslings.

Then I remembered the year my daughter's volleyball team played in the Badger State Games. Hey, that was a lot of fun.

Having grown up in the Williamsport, PA, area I of course attended Little League World Championship games a number of times in the mid- and late 60s. I even met ABC broadcaster Jim McCay at one of them.

Finally, it wasn't a championship game, but it was the EIWA (Eastern Intercollegiate Wrestling Association) championship at University of Pennsylvania in 1967. It was my freshman year in college at wrestling powerhouse, Lehigh, and my buddy Gary and I went to Philadelphia for the championship. Which Lehigh won! and Mike Caruso was the champion!

I realized how fortunate I have been in my life to have seen all these wonderful sporting events. They are but a small part of a great life that has been blessed more times than I can even count.

Life truly is a collection of memories that keep growing and building.

Happy Thanksgiving 2013

A reason for thanksgiving every day.

Feeling Good Update

Today is one of those days when I am particularly grateful of what has been going on in my life. Two things are at the top of the list.

First is my weight. Back in mid-March some of us at work started a "Biggest Loser" competition. I jumped at the chance, not to win, but to have an impetus to get back on my weight-loss. It was only for 6 weeks and ended at the end of April. (I came in 2nd!!) Well, I have continued on the weight loss program I started then. Now, coming up on 90 days I am down around 16 pounds! And still working at it.

My goal is to lose another 10 pounds by my birthday and then at least another 10 pounds by November. One of the things helping me- and helping well!- is a program called Diet Power. It is a calorie program and then some! It is not yet web-based, but is easy to learn and has been more than just helpful. It keeps me on track. (Disclaimer: the CEO is a high school friend of mine. I did buy my own copy of it. These comments are completely unreimbursed and not solicited!)

The second piece of gratitude came as I got home after a 20 mile bike ride today. Like I said earlier in the week my bike riding continues to be a lot of fun. Today was one of those days when I didn't push myself, I did a few small hills, and just rode for the joy of mindfully riding.

The third has kind of snuck up on me over the past few weeks. Through a number of circumstances it is ending up that I will be playing first trumpet for the concert of our community band in two weeks. That is something that has not happened in 47 years- since I graduated from high school. It has meant some real work on my embouchure- and endurance. But I am getting ready for some new challenges in an old thing.

I put these three together and realized I am feeling good about myself and my efforts over these past 90 days. It is fun to be able to do these things and work back into good health and places I have never been before.

The Last Freedom

I love to surf and find these places on the Internet that give life meaning and purpose. Sean Burcaw's story that I have highlighted before is one. Joshua Prager is another. Several years ago I read his amazing book on Bobby Thompson, Ralph Branca, the Dodgers and Giants in a fateful baseball game, The Echoing Green. I knew nothing about him. Last week I moseyed over to TED Talks on You Tube and came across a talk he gave at TED this year. I was immediately entranced. At age 19 he was severely injured in an accident in Jerusalem. Twenty years later he returns to meet the truck driver that changed his life.

I was mesmerized by his story and his telling of it.

I realized that this is what I have been reading and thinking about in some of the Attention Interpretation Therapy program I have been in. All the themes from gratitude to acceptance, forgiveness to meaning are right here.

The TED blog website has this to say:

“This,” Prager quotes, “is the last of the human freedoms: to choose our attitude in any human circumstance.” The aging and the anxious, the divorced and balding and bankrupt … everyone can choose to rise above bad fortune, to enjoy community, study, work, adventure, friendship, love. The good.

Take the 18 minutes to watch this. Put it in full-screen and watch Joshua's face and story grow. Be amazed. Be changed.

Not Quite Old- But Heading That Way

I was in a conversation the other day with a person more than a decade younger than I am. They were talking about aging and feeling old. That got me thinking again about my place in that arrow of time movement.

Disclaimer-Warning: you are about to have a Baby-boomer talking about himself again, acting and thinking like he- and his cohorts- have just invented the idea of aging. Fair warning.

No, I know we aren't the first to age. But we may be the first generation that has spent our entire life

• denying our aging
• trying to make ourselves unique
• redefining everything we touch into our own image.

Having said that, I realized in this conversation with a person at the other end of the Baby-boomer spectrum that I really don't feel old. Not like I remember people looking and feeling 45 years ago. I don't feel like I am at the end of my life even though I know that the end of one's life can come at any time- and the odds are more and more against me as I continue to add birthdays.

(See sidebar for days, hours, minutes until I'm 65!)

I realized that day that I am in a twilight zone in this early 21st Century. I am no longer young or even middle-aged. But I am not yet at what I see as old. I am close. A physical issue, another round of back problems, a sudden chronic illness- any of these - could send me into that old category rather rapidly. But that's the way life must be, I think. I am 16 years older than my mother was when she died and nearly 6 years older than my father was at his death. So I am aware. I am not in denial (I hope.)

Instead I continue to do what I can do. Fortunately, at this point, that is quite a lot. I work out, I bicycle, I write and read and work. I enjoy all these things. I have been given a life in the past 25 years since I got into recovery that I couldn't have dreamed of. More is on the way. Ho long will this last? Who knows. No one does. So in this week that is talking about acceptance, this is one I have accepted up to this point. And it is the source of gratitude.

No, this isn't new. My generation is not the first to age. But maybe we can be the first where a lot of us are in a better position to enjoy it longer.

(By the way: Some estimate that about 13% of the original Baby-boomers have already died. That means there are still 87% of us alive. --Link

Another interesting point, there are probably MORE people of Baby-Boomer age alive in the US today than were born in that era thanks to immigration. )