Tuning Slide 5.2- What I've Learned

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.
—Henry Ford

As I get into the fifth year of The Tuning Slide I took some time to think about what I have experienced and learned since that first August at Shell Lake Trumpet Workshop. I have decided to put it into the form of a letter to Bob Baca, the director of the workshop and my main mentor these past four years. I am not ignoring the other faculty and people at home who have been part of this journey with me. Together they have helped me implement the ideas and more to where I am today!

Hi Bob,

Well, I missed the trumpet week at Shell Lake this year. It was a tough decision, but I have an opportunity to do some different kind of stretching in my musicianship and I’m taking it. As I told you I will be going to an adult concert band camp in Door County in a couple weeks and couldn’t swing both this year. But more on that later in the year. Instead I want to summarize the many things that you (and the others) have helped me achieve.

What I have learned from these past 4 years:

1. Routine!
I remember from these years at Shell Lake that you and the faculty have often said that one plays a high C the same way one plays a low C. At first I didn’t understand, but I believed you and kept waiting for it to happen while doing what I needed to do. The time spent on playing the lead pipe and LONG TONES has paid off. Last year at the Brass Festival in North Carolina I found myself just playing what was on the page- and the notes came out. The answer to that was a routine. A routine that is regular and consistent.

2. The Basics.
I learned that if we don’t continue to work on our skills, develop our tone, practice rhythms and etudes, we can become stale. Over these past four years I have been renewed in my skills, I have practiced and discovered more ways to speak the language of the trumpet and to put more style and tone and life into it. If I am to grow in any way in my abilities I have to practice the basics- which you have taught me to do and then move into greater technical proficiency. All I wanted to do was be a better musician- and it has happened.

Many years ago I was a first-chair, lead trumpet with whatever skills a high school senior could have in1965. I have learned the importance of being a section player and have discovered all kinds of new techniques. I have never stopped playing, but in the past four years I went from “just playing” to “being musical”. I would never have believed it when I left Shell Lake after that first camp in 2015. I have been amazed at what can happen- and yes, as I have said before, even an old dog can learn many, many new tricks.

Perhaps above all else I have discovered the absolute necessity of never leaving the basic behinds. The Bill Adam routine has taught me not to forget or neglect these basics on a daily basis. I play 10-20 minutes of long tones in various forms every day. It is the foundation. I play exercises in all 12 major keys; I go back and use the first Arban exercises regularly; I discovered that if I can hear it, I can play it. My fingers now move more fluidly through muscle memory and my ears hear more through aural memory. I have learned to always have a beginner's mind!

3. Easy does it. Patience, slow down.
Don’t force it; don’t rush it. The secret to playing fast is to play slowly. Sometimes so slowly that you may not even recognize the tune. If it isn’t working, go back to the basics behind it. So simple, yet so powerful.

4. You can skip a day but you’ll never get it back
I have missed very few days over these last four years, mostly when I was recuperating from surgery and wasn’t allowed to play. Once in a while I may take a day off because there was no way around it. More often I will do the basic long-tones and scales for 30 minutes. On most days I play and now I can play a lot.

5. Listen, listen, listen
Pay attention to yourself in your own practice and to those around you in rehearsal. We practice alone to get to now our part. We rehearse with others to know how our part fits in with the others.

6. The Inner Game- trust self 2
The Inner Game ideas have been around a while and they work. I have known them for years; now I know how to better utilize them and to trust me - Self 2- to do what I can do.

7. Play out. Just do it.
Some may think that a “timid trumpet player” is an oxymoron. Put me in a group or public performance and I would become a timid musician. What a waste. It is exciting. That doesn’t mean to over-perform, be over loud or obnoxious. I means what it says- just do it!

8. Stretch outside the box
I know the importance of stretching one’s skills. It is how we grow. What I have learned in these past four years has given me some directions on how to do that. I enjoy it too much now to even think of stopping.

9. It’s at least 90% mental.
The basics of playing and performing music are the easy parts. Just keep practicing. This goes back to- and expands on the inner game. If you don’t think you can do it- you won’t be able to do it. But if you believe you can- you will- even if it takes months and years of practice.

10. Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the basis of a life of hope and growth. Being self-aware and then being aware of all that is around me and living within it- that’s the ability to be mindful. It doesn’t mean lack of growth or being content with just leaving things as they are. It means being attentive and in my musicianship knowing where I can go next.

That’s what I have learned. Here is what I have received:

A. Play like you like it- and you will like playing.
This is perhaps best described in the meme: If you don’t like playing long tones, you probably don’t like playing trumpet. Really? Yep! It is fun to discover something new with different ways of doing long tones each day. I really like playing and it makes a real difference each day.

B. Confidence
Two weeks ago at a community band rehearsal I had to play a solo part that I had never read before since the soloist wasn’t able to be at that rehearsal. Then I had to play some upper register lines. Yep- I did both. Confidence has built. I don’t get panicked when I see some of those notes or at a passage I would have backed off from before. Now, later this week, I will be attending that concert band camp where I have to audition. I am not the least bit afraid. Call out a major key- I can play any of the 12. Give me a sight-reading page- I know the basics. Am I nervous or anxious. Not any more. Now I am excited.

C. Energy and excitement
What can I say? They sum up what I have been given. The other day I was feeling a little under the weather and restless, unable to find something to direct me. My wife looked at me and simply said, “Go play your trumpet. That always works.”

And it did.

Thank you, Bob and the Shell Lake Trumpet Workshop. You have given me one of the greatest boosts of the past 30 years.

Crazy? Yep- crazy good!

Tuning Slide 4.52- Perception is Reality (from Year 1)

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

(I’m taking four weeks off from new posts while I do a number of things, not all related to this blog. In these four weeks I am posting some from the very first year of The Tuning Slide. Some of it will be to refresh my thoughts, and some of it will just ground what I am doing in the purposes of the blog. This one was post #1.12 on 11/18/2015.)

---

Don't be afraid,
just play the music.
― Charlie Parker

As a counselor, one thing I always have to keep in mind is that when someone sees reality a certain way, they believe it. For them it IS reality. It doesn't matter whether it is true or imagined. Reality is often what we perceive it to be. So when they come into my office or group for therapy I have to start where they are- even if I know it to be false or mis-perceived.
As we pick up our horn to practice or to perform, what we consider reality will govern what we do next.

For years I believed I could not play a solo.

I was right. I couldn't play a solo. I would always mess it up. Even though I kept at it in church, for example, if I had a organ or piano and trumpet duet I never, ever got it right. Never. Something would always go wrong. I would miss a count and therefore come in early or late. I would miss a sharp or flat and play a discordant note. Any one of a number of things happened every time. Most people didn't notice it as significant most of the time, but I did.

"See," I would say to myself, "you can't play a solo."
I was proving the truth of Henry Ford's statement:

Whether you think you can,
or you think you can't--
you're right.
― Henry Ford

Fortunately I loved playing trumpet so much I never allowed it to stop me from trying or from continuing to play in bands. I would avoid solos, even in band. My trumpet soloing above even 55 other musicians would send my heart into high gear, the adrenaline would flow, the fight or flight mechanism would kick in- and I would mess it up.

Over and over the refrain- you can't solo, you can't solo, you can't!

My perception of reality was true- even if it wasn't.

Note that this was not a fear of being in front of people. I have been in public for 50 years preaching, radio DJ, cable TV host. I could stand and talk to hundreds of people and not be nervous. Put a trumpet in my hand and make me solo in front of a handful- forget it. I can't do that. So said my perception of reality.

So what happened, esp. since I wouldn't be writing about it if it hadn't changed?

My first step was to work with a teacher. Just to play in his presence was a big step. He gave me some assignments; I worked on them; I improved.

Second, I was invited to join a brass quintet. When there are only five of you, each part is, in essence, a solo. We had a lot of fun practicing and developing a repertoire. When we finally did play in public performance I did okay, but I still messed up somewhere in each performance. Again, not always noticeable and never as badly as I had before, but I was building confidence in myself- and reality was shifting.

Third, I began playing some first parts in our community band. I found that most of the time I could do that! But that wasn't a solo. Again- perceptions were changing internally.

Fourth, one year ago this week the community band had a concert and with a solo on one number. My teacher was also playing first and he told me that I was playing it. I didn't argue. I figured that if he thought I was capable, maybe I was.

We worked on it in my lessons. I could play it very well- at home or in the lesson. But not at any rehearsal. Never.

I can't play solos!

But I refused to back down. (Stubborn ol' cuss!) The director never suggested I give it to someone else. The night before the concert we had our dress rehearsal and ...

Nope, still not right.

Concert night. The piece comes up. ("Valdres March" by Hanssen) It starts with my trumpet solo. I do okay. A little weak, but not particularly strong, either. Maybe I can solo? Maybe?

We get to the end and approach the D.C. back to the top- and the solo. One last chance. As we move along toward the D.C. I have a conversation with myself.

• This music is supposed to be fun.
• You're not having fun.
• Have fun.
• You can do it.
• Screw it.
• Play the damn thing!!!

Yep- it worked.

I nailed it. My teacher gave me a thumbs up!

The first solo I played well in almost 50 years.

Reality made a seismic shift and I was now a "real" trumpet player again.

After the first of the year I will be doing some posts on the idea of "The Inner Game" about how we sabotage ourselves with a "Self One" and a "Self Two". That's what this is really about. It starts with our perception of reality. What we believe is what guides us. Reality or not, if we see it that way, that's the way it is. Don't confuse me with facts.

Unless you want to learn to do it differently. I didn't realize that's what I was doing when I started this journey about five or six years ago; when I said yes to the quintet or decided to take lessons again.

So,

• Get out of yourself and seek support and new insights.
• Stretch yourself. Take some chances and risks. All you can do is make a mistake. It's not the end of the world.
• Keep practicing.
• Hear the perception of reality that is keeping you from doing what you can do.
• Then do it.

That's what I did over the years in my life. It works with any task I think I can or can't do. The trumpet isn't any different.

And it is supposed to be fun. Enjoy it!

(BTW: Thanks to Warren, Steve, and Mike for sticking with me through these past years!)

Tuning Slide 4.48- Being Free- Gratitude

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?
– Danielle LaPorte

Three weeks ago I started a series based on a blog post at Planet of Success. It is about 10 powerful ways to free yourself if you are stuck. I took the concepts and riffed on them from my own experiences in the last 8-10 years to overcome self-defeating attitudes that kept me from changing and growing in my trumpet playing. Here are the 10 themes of the previous three weeks:

1. Face your fears
2. Break your routine
3. Effect change, one step at a time
4. Overcome the perception of impossibilities
5. Be honest with yourself
6. Change your perspective
7. Differentiate between feeling and fact
8. Avoid blaming others
9. Stop comparing yourself to others
10. Stop making excuses

But I said there were 10, what gives? Well, the post actually gave 11 ways to set yourself free. That means there is one more to go- and perhaps the most important in the long run.

But first I want to tell you about two incidents within the past week that gives added impetus to what I have been writing about. The first was last Monday evening at Big Band practice. As we were putting the chairs and stands away one of the other trumpet players, who is a regular reader of this blog and knows my story, gave me a big smile and said to me, “When I started that solo in one of the songs, my horn was full of water. I bet you never even noticed.” He was referring to my story from that Memorial Day fifty-some years ago when water in my horn embarrassed me and started the long road to try to rebuild my self-confidence.

No, I hadn’t even noticed- as probably no one fifty years ago did, either. Thanks, Steve, for the reminder that I am my own worst enemy at times.

The second event built on it and was at community band on Thursday evening, the last rehearsal before the concert this past Saturday. There were only four of our six trumpets there due to schedule conflicts. That meant that each of us was a little more on our own than usual. It also meant that we were each often almost playing solo parts. On one piece I was the only 1st trumpet. Anyone who has followed this blog knows that when that happens I easily tense up, muscles contract, my brain seems to misfire, and Self One says, “You really think you can do that?”

Well, I knew all the music very well, I took some breaths, relaxed, and let Self Two tell Self One to be quiet, that yes, I really know I can do this. And I did- as did all of us. For one of the first times in any of the groups I play in at home, I was confident and relaxed. Did I make mistakes? Sure- that’s one of the purposes of rehearsals- to figure out where the weaknesses are and fix them.

So with all that for a long example, I come to the last of the things that Steve Mueller outlined for getting unstuck in that article. It may, in the long run, be the most important interaction between our music and our life:

11. Be grateful for what you have
✓ We sometimes feel as if we’re not moving forward when we think we haven’t yet accomplished enough in life. As a result, we’re quite frustrated about our situation. If we do not succeed as much as we desire, it can feel as if we’re stuck in life.

Developing the habit of being grateful can help you to ease the feeling of being stuck. It helps us to rediscover what is beautiful about our life. Gratitude can also enable us to find what makes our life worth living. As a positive side effect, we spent a lot less time chasing evermore. Instead, we learn to find joy and fulfillment in everything we already have.

Ultimately, this is the way to truly relieve yourself from the feeling of not being able to move on. So take yourself some time to count your blessings. Appreciate everything you’ve been given.

Gratitude is something we often overlook in our music as well as in our daily lives. Gratitude works with parts of the brain that produces dopamine, the “feel good” brain chemical. Because you get that feel good reward you are then learning to do that same thing again. It becomes a cycle of doing the right things and finding the reasons to be grateful.

It takes practice, of course, to become better at seeing and responding with gratitude. It is a skill, one that is essential to our positive health and growth. Keep a gratitude journal, say thank you to people, feel the joy of music, be grateful for the ability to play music and then let it move through you.

I went home last Thursday after rehearsal grateful and flying high. It felt good to be able to do what I needed to do. It felt good to know I am capable and have skills. It felt good to know for the first time in some ways that I am no longer as stuck as I thought I was. It is time to move forward.

Did that carry over to the concert?

You bet it did! Gratitude and experience reinforced each other. I do have to admit that it wasn’t as good as Thursday evening. But I also know why- and will be working on it. But the confidence and greater willingness to let Self Two do his thing were there. It is, after all, progress - not perfection and I am progressing!

Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.
— Lionel Hampton

Tuning Slide 4.43- Sing Your Song

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Life is not logic. Life is not philosophy.
Life is a dance, a song, a celebration. It is more like love and less like logic.
-Osho Rajneesh

Agnes DeMille and Martha Graham were two of the greatest dancers/choreographers ever to hit the stage. At one point in her life, Graham sent the following letter to her close friend, Agnes.

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening
that is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you in all time,
this expression is unique.

If you block it,
it will never exist through any other medium
and be lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is;
nor how valuable it is;
nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly,
to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware directly
of the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased.
There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction;
a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
and makes us more alive than the others.
As quoted in “Dance to the Piper and Promenade Home” (1982) by Agnes de Mille and in
The Life and Work of Martha Graham (1991) by Agnes de Mille

What better way to describe what we have been talking about here for the last month: our voice- the unique part of each of us and our song- the unique gift each of us has to offer the world. So what then are the required actions to make this happen?

✓ Patience
This is not something that happens with a snap of the fingers and Voila! there it is. It takes time to discover, uncover, or recover the important pieces of who we are from beneath the things of everyday life. Don’t expect it to happen immediately. Neither, by the way, expect it to happen only once. The song will be revised, improved upon, translated into other ideas, even transposed into other keys. That, too, requires patience.

✓ First Listening
First listening is my description of moving into a practice of mindfulness and meditation in whatever ways fit you and your style. For some of us, it can be in the form of journaling or quiet times to begin to be aware of ourselves, our emotions, our lives, and our potential. This is the inward focus of discovering more about ourselves. At this point in our journey, we are learning how to be still, be quiet, be patient. Too much noise can clearly keep us from hearing our song.

✓ Willingness
Normally we hear honesty as the first of these three (HOW). In finding our song we have to take the brave step of being willing to learn and change. We are not looking for the things about ourselves that need changing in this. Instead, we are looking at WHO we are. We have to be willing to at least explore that step. We get that from taking the action of learning how to listen.

✓ Honesty
What we begin to hear when we are willing may not be what we expected, or we may be resistant to truly answer some of our inner questions. Honesty is essential. Honesty says “Don’t give the answer you hope is true or the one you think others want from you. Don’t hide from the spotlight of quiet contemplation. Be honest with yourself. Keep track of that in your listening journal.

✓ Openness
After honesty, we need to finally be open to continue. We may find that we don’t like what we have discovered, even with our willingness to take the initial steps. We may decide it isn’t time and we don’t want that to be the answer. It doesn’t mean we aren’t willing, we just aren’t ready- open to the full possibilities. That’s okay. Don’t give up. Go back to the first listening and deepen it.

✓ Further Listening
As we move past the willing, honest, and open steps, now we are ready to ask even more important questions. This is when we get into the areas of our lives that give us direction. We find the things that move our soul, the things that connect us with others, the dreams and visions we can develop for ourselves. By this point we are paying more attention in more ways, that is, mindfulness. Perhaps we have learned to listen to the small voices that seem to show us new ideas. Perhaps we have discovered the ways to move beyond Self 1 listen to Self 2 (back to the Inner Game!) with trust. Life can begin to be exciting and frustrating. Patience is even more important now.

✓ Just Doing It
Nike has had it right for years. Just do it! Pick up the horn and play. Stay with the basics as the foundation- never leave them behind. Develop the ear and the eye so we can improve. Be self-aware, not self-critical as we do it, knowing that improvement is just the result of practice. Then keep doing it. If you don’t, you won’t begin to hear your voice in the song that is within you. Your unique song for the world.

✓ Keep Listening
Always listen. Listen to others; find mentors and listen to them; listen to Self 2 telling you that you can do it.

On the website Co-evolve with Kiran, I found the end- and the beginning of this search for the voice and the song. Who you are and what you have to offer.

There is a song that is wanting to be sung. There is masterpiece that is waiting to be painted. There is a life waiting to be lived. There is this song in each of hearts. A yearning which is never quenched. And in some ways we are all learning to listen to that.

The Rose
It’s the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It’s the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It’s the one who won’t be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

Go and share your voice and song. It is what living is all about.

Tuning Slide 4.33- Keep the Rhythm

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

To live is to be musical, starting with the blood dancing in your veins. Everything living has a rhythm. Do you feel your music?
― Michael Jackson

As I write this I am sitting on a balcony overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. There is a hazy cloudiness, but still some diluted sunlight. The wind is coming at about 10 mph from the southwest. The palm branches sway with the winds rising and falling. I see reflected off my computer screen a kite behind me catching the wind. I hear the call of gulls and children laughing and playing. Later there will be the possibilities of thunderstorms and tomorrow is forecast to be at least 20 degrees colder, so I want to enjoy what I have at the moment.

But more importantly is the constant sound from the waves. The consistent rhythm of the tide and currents is what touches me and depths I have no way of touching in a conscious way. Some will say it’s because of the none months before we are born, hearing the watery amniotic fluid in it’s rhythm. Others will point to the heartbeat and the rhythm of the blood in our brains. Others still will point to the vibrating rhythms of the universe. It doesn’t matter how or why, it is simply to say that we live in a world of rhythm, pulses, movement of sound waves, most of which we cannot even hear.

We all have rhythm! Mickey Hart, percussionist with the Grateful Dead explained it as the movement from chaos to order:

In the beginning, there was noise. Noise begat rhythm, and rhythm begat everything else.

I did a quick Google search on songs with the word rhythm in the title. While there were many versions of some of the classics, here are six:

✓ Fascinating Rhythm
✓ Rhythm of the Falling Rain
✓ Girls Got Rhythm
✓ All God’s Children Got Rhythm
✓ Rhythm Nation
and of course,
✓ I Got Rhythm.

A few years ago I did a post on the idea of rhythm in expanding on rhythm as one of the three things every trumpet player (and musician) needs to have:

There are three characteristics of a great trumpet player:
1. Every time you play you have a great- not a good- sound.
2. You have great- not good- rhythm.
3. You have great- not good- ears to hear the sound. (Link)

In essence you have to have a sound that’s worth playing and listening to, a rhythm that turns the sound from noisy chaos into music, and the ability to hear it all.

This came up in my thinking the other day as I was “drumming” along with a song on the radio. I was attempting a steady beat that wasn’t just single drum beats. I was trying to fit into the style and rhythm of the song. What I discovered again, other than why I am a trumpet player and not a percussionist, is how difficult it really is to keep the beat steady AND interesting. Sooner or later I always miss a beat, come in late, or just generally mess up the whole thing.

Which brought me to the next thought about playing in a jazz big band. The “rhythm section” isn’t just the drummer. It is also the piano, bass, and guitar. Sure, they all get solos from time to time and some of them even get a melody, but they are, together, the rhythm of the band. They keep us moving at the steady and appropriate beat. Rhythm is far more than just keeping good time. It is the entire flow of the music. When we work together at the rhythm, when we get in synch or flow, music truly happens and we, I firmly believe, are in touch with the music of the cosmos.

Our biological rhythms are the symphony of the cosmos, music embedded deep within us to which we dance, even when we can't name the tune.
― Deepak Chopra

For me it is easier to keep rhythm on the trumpet than on the steering wheel of my car or the table I am typing at. It is my way of expressing rhythm. It is part of my “biological rhythm.” This is one of the important things I have discovered (and rediscovered many times) over the years. The music I make has rhythm- and I have to learn to feel, hear, and reproduce it through the horn. Which in both the short- and long-term takes me back to basics- yep, Arban, Clarke, Schlossberg, etc. As I work through those routines I begin to feel rhythm. I begin to know what it feels like to be in the right rhythm for the song. Self 2 just goes there and I work with it. Fortunately it doesn’t matter whether we are jazz, classical, or polka musicians. In those basics we learn what rhythm is. And we discover how it touches us.

Build the ear for rhythm by working the rhythm of the basics, then moving on. Feel the movement of the song. Watch for the unexpected that means the rhythm is changing. It is more than keeping the right tempo. Metronomes don’t provide rhythm, for example. They only give us a guideline for what speed something is to move. That may be helpful sometimes in practice, but it will never help us develop a sense of rhythm. Time in music is a structure on which the rhythm is built. You start with the sound and make sure you have the best sound you can have.

Then you let it flow. The world will change!

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures. It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth in numberless blades of grass and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
― Rabindranath Tagore

Tuning Slide 4.31- On Getting Stuck

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
E.M. Forster

In the past couple posts or so I have been talking about being a student, how to improve what we can do, some ways I am working on a particular direction, i.e. more precise playing. It is always exciting when I get started on something new or different. I can hardly wait to pick up my horn and do that day’s exercise and routine. That goes along well for awhile until I reach a point where I get stuck. There are two things that can happen. First, I stop progressing. While I have been doing well, hearing and feeling the changes and growth, one day it seems to just stop. Over a period of a few days I notice that there is no more change. It’s all still good and I am doing better than when I started on the new goal, but it hasn’t improved any more. My natural response to that I simple. “Well, I guess I’ve gone as far as I can go on this one. That’s it.”

Which leads almost naturally into the second thing that can happen- I feel like I’m going backwards. The sound isn’t as good as it was last week; the endurance has decreased; my range has suffered. I then become more self-critical and less motivated. I cut corners on the particular routine that I was working on and I get stuck. So I start looking around at the music in my books, the routines I have available, the etudes and lessons that I have worked on- and start practicing without a goal. It will keep my endurance up, my embouchure in shape, but it won’t necessarily improve what I’m looking to improve. I become complacent, satisfied with the status quo. While that status quo is light years from where I was even four years ago, I stop growing.

It is all in my head, sort of. Attitude and self-defeating thoughts can do a lot of damage to our growth and movement. Self 1 has taken over and is telling Self 2 that we’ve reached the end of the journey. We can’t go any further down the road. Just sit back and take it easy.

In the end, when you feel like you have gotten stuck, just move on. In order to move on I usually do the following:

◆ I remind myself why I am playing trumpet in the first place- and why I have continued to play and to find ways to grow in these 57 years since I got my first trumpet. It’s all about the music!
◆ I remember the line if you don’t like playing long tones, you don’t like playing the trumpet for its own sake. If it’s all about the music, it’s also all about the sound!
◆ I then remind myself of something that I wrote about way back in the earlier days of this blog- that one often reaches a plateau or even a step backwards just as one is about to make the next move forward. I call that darkest before the dawn theory of growth. Just when you think you can’t continue- you can. With deliberate practice and direction.

The “Aha!” moment has been reached and I can take a look at what has happened, what I have accomplished, and where I can go. It’s at that point I discover a number of things about myself and my growth. I get stuck when one or more of the following things get in the way

◆ Boredom
Playing those long tones and scales can get very dull. Boredom is actually the inability to find the new that is right in front of you. Boredom is unmet expectations telling you that this is crazy. That’s why, if I do nothing else with my horn on a given day, I play those long tones - and I try to play them with as much life and soul as I can. Soulful long tones? Yep. It’s all in my head and how I hear them.
◆ Fear
The fear is the one mentioned above- what if I am at the end of my ability? What if I can’t get those intervals down right or that lick to fall into place under my fingers? Maybe at my age I should just be satisfied with all that I have done in the past few years and be satisfied. I am afraid to fail, afraid to lose, afraid to not be able to grow and improve. So why try? I can recognize the craziness in that statement the minute I say it or write it. Yes, there may very well come the day when I am at the end, but a quick look at Herb Alpert (age 83) and Doc Servinsen (age 92) will quickly remind me that if I keep going I will grow!
◆ Exhaustion
This is a flip side of boredom which is a form of mental exhaustion. It comes because I have been working and working and getting nowhere. It is also possible to overwork your willpower which can lead to both mental and physical exhaustion. This leads, I think, to some of the leveling off of improvement or even the steps backward we take before making an growth jump. This means I have to take a look at how I’m practicing and how I may be over doing some aspect of it.
◆ Lack of direction
These all lead to this fourth reason for getting stuck- I don’t know for sure where I am going. I’ve lost my way, gotten off the path, been distracted. It is time to look at my goals and what I want to get out of- and give back to- my music. It is a two way street and I need to develop my self-awareness, mindfulness, and goal-setting.

These are not just specific to music. I mentioned in a previous post that I have difficulty at times in my physical exercise routine. When that happens I can look at these same four things to discover a possible underlying issue with my exercise, or my writing routine. Fortunately there are ways to deal with them after we have taken a look at ourselves and what we are in the midst of experiencing. I will deal with that next week.

Until then, find out where you may be stuck and what have been happening. It may be one of those four things above, or it may be something very specific to your situation. Don’t be afraid of it- none of us can grow unless we look at what may be holding us back. No matter what, keep moving; don’t stop. Go back to the basics until you discover what you need at this moment in time.

4.27 Tuning Slide- More Time In the Zone

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

When the zone calls, you must listen. You never know how long being in the zone lasts. It is a cardinal rule - you must take advantage of every second that you are in the zone.

― John Passaro

There is a family story that my wife has enjoyed telling since, well, for a long time. It goes back to right after we were married. It was a wondrous Sunday afternoon and we were doing nothing. We were both in the living room. I was reading and she was doing something. I was aware she was talking to me. I would make a sound of assent and keep reading. Suddenly she stopped and was laughing.

“Did you hear what I just said?” she asked.

“Uh….[pause] [guiltily] No, what?”

“I said that the pink elephants are coming down the street trampling on all the flowers.”

Which I had said “Uh, huh” to without hearing.

I didn’t know about “flow” at that time. But I was in a state of flow in my reading. A few months ago I talked about flow as part of Barry Green’s music mastery pathway of “concentration.” He called it the “spirit of the zone. In that post I wrote:

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi named the concept of “flow in 1975 and been widely referred to in any different fields. It is also known as “being in the zone.” Flow

is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does, and a resulting loss in one's sense of space and time. (Link)

Requirements for flow can be:
◆ Intense and focused concentration on the present moment
◆ Merging of action and awareness
◆ A loss of reflective self-consciousness
◆ A sense of personal control or agency over the situation or activity
◆ A distortion of temporal experience, one's subjective experience of time is altered
◆ Experience of the activity as intrinsically rewarding

Very clearly I was in some kind of zone, or even state of flow as I was reading. I still experience that feeling when involved in a book- I am hyper-focused, I am not all that aware of what is happening around me, time is lost, and it is intrinsically rewarding. You can begin to see why this can apply to playing or listening to music, I am sure.

Digging a little deeper in that Wikipedia article I came across Owen Schaffer’s list (he studied under Csikszentmihalyi.) In 2013 he proposed 7 conditions for flow that summarize the above list:
◆ Knowing what to do
◆ Knowing how to do it
◆ Knowing how well you are doing
◆ Knowing where to go
◆ High perceived challenges
◆ High perceived skills
◆ Freedom from distractions
(Link)

Again the connections with music are hopefully clear. One thing it means is that to get into flow is not just something that happens on its own. It is not some magical, mysterious event that occurs when Self 2 gets in charge. Even the best Self 2 cannot get in the zone playing trumpet if it doesn’t know anything about the trumpet, music, or whatever. The Inner Game doesn’t just happens, it is planned for, developed, and, of course, the result of deliberate, focused practice.

Flow can come from, as the list indicates:
◦ Knowledge from learning (being taught), experience, and time. (What to do and how to do it.)
◦ Self-awareness and trust in Self 2 as you have grown and improved. (How well you are doing and where to go next.)
◦ Moving beyond the basics and pushing yourself to new heights that you know you can achieve. (High challenge and perception of your skills.)
◦ Focus, focus, focus, or mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness. (Freedom from distractions.)

When these conditions occur whether in the practice room, rehearsal hall, or on stage, the possibility for flow increases. Of course you still have to pay attention. We cannot forget in a performance that we are not observers. I remember a concert a few years ago when the band was playing an incredibly wonderful piece. I had a long passage of rests, probably at least 32 if not 64 measures. I fell into a listening zone (as opposed to a performance zone)- and almost missed my entry. But, as a result of working hard at knowing the piece and some of the above conditions, I heard the music moving to where I was to come it. It was intuitive as I picked up the horn and played. (But it was close!)

The Inner Game and Flow both show that “attitude” in an important piece of moving in the right direction. Attitude and action go together. Most of the time before we get into flow it is the actions that propel us forward. The old saying is that it is easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than think your way into a new way of acting. That can be called developing a habit, or experiencing the joys of what you want, rewiring the brain, or just plain grit. Attitude must come. If you continue to think you can’t- you won’t.

I found the following list on the Website “Play in the Zone” that we can take into the practice room and rehearsal hall to get us ready for Self 2 to work us into the zone.

9 Attitude Tweaks That Hold the Secret to Playing Your Best
1) Play freely. Don’t play to “not play badly”
2) Love the challenges
3) Accept what happens rather than getting frustrated or upset
4) Don’t care too much
5) Trust in yourself
6) Hear each note clearly before you play it
7) Be decisive, and commit fully to every phrase
8) Be relaxed about nerves
9) Focus on process, not outcome
(Link)

Three of those stand out for me this week.
• Play freely Don’t play to “not play badly.”
⁃ What a way for me to undermine and sabotage my goals, my practice, and especially my sound. I can only play as good as I can today, of course, but I have to play as good as I can today. It is not healthy to say “Well, as long as I don’t suck too badly…” I can’t go there. It won’t work. I will always suck.

• Love the challenges!
⁃ Sometimes the challenge is playing the Arban’s single tonguing exercises as well as I can play them, good sound, clarity, etc. Sometimes it is playing Arban’s Characteristic study #1 better than I did last time. Both are challenges. If I don’t take the challenge of the beginning of the Arban’s Book (or Clarke, Goldman, Getchell, etc.) I will never get to the challenges later in the books.

• Focus on process, not outcome!
⁃ Process does not mean doing it mechanically. It always means playing musically with good sound. Those are assumed. But how do I improve my skills if I don’t have a plan and a direction to what I am doing. Process, the steps and stages from here to there?

Which of the above are things that are important for you? These are all the marks of being a good student of your instrument. I will look at more of that next week and do some expanding on this.

Until then- build your attitude and enjoy what you are doing.

4.26- Tuning Slide- Halfway in a Tuning Slide Year

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Believe you can and you're halfway there.
— Theodore Roosevelt

Well, we’ve made it to post #26 in this year’s Tuning Slide. That means we’re halfway there. Which says a great deal about music. Believe it and you are on the right road. I have spent the last several years believing that

1. An old dog can learn new tricks
2. Making music is fun, and
3. They both go together to make life even more joyous than it otherwise would be.

I got my first trumpet when I was in 8th grade in 1961. I was thirteen-years old. There have been very few years in the past 57 when I haven’t played trumpet for something. I went through all kinds of times of not practicing much (if at all) for months and months. I may even have gone a year or or so when I didn’t touch the trumpet. It was always there calling me, reminding me of its joy and wonder. I never stopped being a trumpet player- and for that I am extremely grateful. It is how I live my life.

When I started on this part of my trumpet/musical journey in the last ten years and then connected with the amazing musicians at the Shell Lake Arts Center/UW-Eau Claire, new doors opened that enhanced, then multiplied the wonder of making music and how it relates to my life.

I am the kind of person who likes to share what I learn. As I have been learning I have been writing; as I have been doing research I have been telling you about it; as I have been playing more music more often I can’t help but share it. That is what the Tuning Slide has been all about. Nothing is changing about that.

This post is at mid-point of year four. Lots of things have been covered, some more than once. The whole idea of the “inner game” has been at the heart of what I talk about. Mindfulness and deepening awareness are an essential of that. Trusting Self Two and quieting Self One build into that. The joy of playing is one of the results.

As I look at the next six months of this year’s Tuning Slide here is what I plan to work on. I confess it here, by the way, to keep myself accountable. Even though it will change, at least I am setting it down for me- and all- to see.

First, I am currently working on “precision.” I am not a precise trumpet player. I tend to have that “jazz” sound that never quite lands the note the same way every time. (I don’t think that is an excuse, by the way, but more on that in February, I think.) What this boils down to is awareness of sound. It is always sound, so I am back at that level, playing the single-tongue Arban’s and Getchell exercises in slower, more precise ways. (When in doubt, always go back to Arban and Getchell.)

Second, I am working on being more relaxed in my improvisation. I will be doing more with iReal Pro and Aebersold in the next couple months. (I also hope to do some more composing. That should go together with the improvisation as well.)

Third, as always I will be expanding what I know about the Inner Game. Always being a student, working on improving whatever it takes to be better, continuing to take the time to keep moving and not get stuck in any one spot.

So to get started, here is something I found posted on Facebook. It will be a good thing to think about in the next week as I settle in to the second half of this Tuning Slide year. It is a reminder of the Inner Game:

And, so as to not take ourselves too seriously, here is a list from The Trumpet Blog. Here are a few of them.

1. Trumpets most often play the melody so everyone knows if we play the wrong notes. Unlike the Bassoon, which plays notes that only Canada geese can hear, the trumpet is expected to play every note the way it was intended.

4. Trumpet players rely on their air to sustain a long slow, painful phrase, while an organist could place a book on the keys and go out for lunch and no one would know the difference.

6. The fingering of a trumpet is very complex. For a clarinet player to play a corresponding scale, the clarinet fingerings are simplified because of their use of nine fingers. The trumpet play is limited to only three and is expected to be able to play the same notes.

And then the best reason I can think of (with tongue in cheek, of course, which makes it even harder to play the trumpet:)

10. Trumpets have a much more difficult time working within their section. Nowhere in music is this more challenging for every trumpet player has to put up with other trumpet players and we all know what that requires.

Take a moment and go see the whole list and the truth about why the trumpet is the most difficult instrument to play. Then pat yourself on the back for being so great! (Link)

Have a great week and we’ll kick off the second half of the year next week!

Halfway means there's no sense turning back. It is just as far back as it is to the goal.
— Unknown (Well, actually, I said it.)

4.20- Tuning Slide: Confidence, Ego, and Humility

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

If you got a trumpet, get on your feet, brother, and blow it!
— Nick Cave (punk-rock musician)

That’s a call to confidence if I ever heard one. Barry Green in the book Mastery of Music that we have been looking at over these months lists the eighth and ninth pathways to mastery this way:

# 8: Confidence: From Bravura to Integrity (Trumpet)
# 9: Ego and Humility: From Fame to Artistry (Opera, Jazz, and Theater Singers)

What really is confidence? Green quotes a definition this way:

An accepted and unheralded evidence within a person that gives a person the unconscious knowledge that he/she is able to produce outstanding results in his/her chosen career under almost any circumstances. Full technical control is a must: this “evidence to oneself” provided by preparation and determination is what fosters confidence and it becomes stronger with experience.

He then lists some of the ways we develop confidence. Among them are:

◦ Preparation by Overpreparing
We are back at practice, practice, practice. If we think we can escape from that or make it optional because of how far we have advanced, forget it. Right now. Some truly advance players may get by with a daily “warm-up.” But that “warm up” will always include scales, chromatics, long tones, and all the basics. And it will usually be at least two to three hours a day. So practice is where confidence must start, not on some self-interpreted view of how good we are. This also includes knowing more than just what we are doing. Sometimes that means studying the music, reading about it, listening to recordings in order to find out where and how your part fits in. It’s all in the over preparing! As Green puts it, we are not just a “right-note” playing machine. We are making music.

◦ State Your Case with Passion and Meaning
Because of the over preparation, one does move beyond just playing the right notes. One also beings the excitement, the passion, the meaning of the music to life. My interpretation of that will be different from yours. If we are in a group together, we learn to state our understanding in relationship to the other musicians. That brings in the ability to listen and learn.

◦ Confidence is a Journey of Learning
Learning is what confidence opens us up to do. Paying attention in practice, rehearsal, and performance opens us to know what we need to do to move forward. Since we have over prepared, we have moved beyond “right-notes” to expressing ourselves. But that doesn’t always work. We get lost, make a mistake, get stuck. So learn from it. The next time, when we get it the way we want it, our confidence will be back.

◦ Stay Within Your Limits, (then) Don’t Think, Just Play
Needless to say, Green, as one of the teachers of the Inner Game, brings us around to allowing Self 2 to be in charge. Thinking is Self 1. By this time we have learned (Self 1) that we can do what we want to do. We then trust ourselves (Self 2) to do it. If we are honest about what we can do at this moment, we will know what is ready for public performance and what isn’t there yet. Staying within limits is NOT about only playing what you used to be able to play, it is about not moving on until Self 1 can shut up and let Self 2 move on.

How do we maintain and continue to build confidence? If we only rest on what we did last time, we will not grow as a musician nor develop confidence to do more than we did last time. Here are some of the ways Green mentions to help confidence grow:

◦ Focus on the Music, Not on What People Think of You
◦ Focus on What You Have Accomplished and What You Can Do
◦ Enjoy Your Anxieties- You are Not Alone
This last one can be tough. This may be where many give up, lose confidence, stop growing. I am not the first player to have flubbed playing Taps on Memorial Day (an old story.) But when I allowed that to become m identity as a solo trumpet player, my anxieties became too great and I couldn’t move beyond them. We grow in confidence when we we are honest with ourselves and move on.

Look, man, all I am is a trumpet player.
— Miles Davis

Confidence can build the image that trumpet players have been accused of. Green calls that “bravura,” the swagger and overt confidence we present even when we don’t have it. Trumpet players are not known for their quietness and humility. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! If anything it is a call to maintain our proper place in the band. That leads to humility. Humility, of course, can have a couple definitions. One is humility means that we are willing to be teachable. A second is to have a proper knowledge of our strengths and weaknesses. Confidence, built on humility is powerful. It will ring out with the sound of, well, trumpets.

It takes a healthy ego to become confident enough to be humble. What a seemingly paradoxical statement that is! Low self-esteem does not build confidence. Low self-esteem presents our weaknesses and uncertainties and set in stone. “Poor me, that’s just the way I am.” Healthy ego allows us to be truly humble. Oh, by the way, I am not sure we can work on becoming humble. “Look how hard I’ve worked and how successful I have become at being humble!” Not!

I have put these two pathways to mastery together because I believe that when one reaches the pathway of confidence the logical next step is moving away from negative ego to true humility. One cannot, or better not, become so enamored of one’s own sound on the instrument, especially trumpet, that we think we are far and above others. THAT is not confidence. That is unhealthy ego. But neither should the musician, especially the trumpet playing musician, be so shy as to hold back when they need to stand up and blow! Humility does not mean taking a back seat or being reserved when the situation calls for leadership. Musical leadership, whether one is a lead trumpet player or third clarinet, is found in the attentiveness to the music, the focus on one’s sound, and the ability to play well with others.

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision.
You can't blow an uncertain trumpet.
—Theodore Hesburgh

4.18 Tuning Slide- Mastery of Music #7: Concentration

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

If you are interested in something, you will focus on it, and if you focus attention on anything, it is likely that you will become interested in it. Many of the things we find interesting are not so by nature, but because we took the trouble of paying attention to them.
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Pathway seven in Barry Green’s Mastery of Music is one we have talked about in many forms in a number of posts. Whether we are talking about mindfulness or the Inner Game we end up discussing

Concentration: The Spirit of the Zone.

Green describes zone as that point when a musician, artist, or athlete finds themselves moving through their tasks with an

assurance and presence, a sensitivity and precision beyond normalcy…. The focus shifts into a fluid awareness which seems able to tap effortlessly into the highest levels of artistry. The brain is the key to this state of peak performance, in music and in life.

One of the musicians Green interviewed said it is when the “performer is completely absorbed in the act of making music.” He goes on to point out that in spite of what we often think, concentrating on more than one task at a time just doesn’t work.
This of course is at the heart of Green’s writing on the Inner Game. When we can allow Self 2 to do its thing and not be distracted by the technicalities and criticisms of Self 1, we can enter into the flow.

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi named the concept of “flow in 1975 and has been widely referred to in any different fields. It is also known as “being in the zone.” Flow

is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does, and a resulting loss in one's sense of space and time. (Link)

Requirements for flow can be:

◆ Intense and focused concentration on the present moment
◆ Merging of action and awareness
◆ A loss of reflective self-consciousness
◆ A sense of personal control or agency over the situation or activity
◆ A distortion of temporal experience, one's subjective experience of time is altered
◆ Experience of the activity as intrinsically rewarding

Owen Schaffer in 2013 proposed 7 conditions for flow that summarize the above list:

◆ Knowing what to do
◆ Knowing how to do it
◆ Knowing how well you are doing
◆ Knowing where to go
◆ High perceived challenges
◆ High perceived skills
◆ Freedom from distractions
(Link)

Just exactly what Barry Green and Timothy Gallwey have been saying about the Inner Game. There is an intuitiveness about flow, or perhaps better, a falling into a comfortable place where the tensions and issues around us fall away and we just do what we know how to do.

Some of the challenges to staying in flow include states of

◦ Apathy
⁃ Challenges are low and one's skill level is low producing a general lack of interest in the task at hand.

◦ Boredom
⁃ Challenges are low, but one's skill level exceeds those challenges causing one to seek higher challenges.

◦ Anxiety
⁃ Challenges are so high that they exceed one's perceived skill level causing one great distress and uneasiness.

These states in general differ from being in a state of flow in that flow occurs when challenges match one's skill level. Consequently, Csíkszentmihályi has said, "If challenges are too low, one gets back to flow by increasing them. If challenges are too great, one can return to the flow state by learning new skills.”
(Link)

Sadly, most of us do not get into “flow” as often or for as long as we would like. I have had it happen in concerts when we are playing some great work that I know well- like Holst’s Second Suite. I just “flow” into it with little thought to what I am doing. I put the trumpet to my face and blow with joy!

Most recently I was pleasantly surprised in a gig with one of the big bands I play in. I have a solo in one song that I have never been able to play well. I get lost, I lose concentration, I start judging myself. That often leads to a disaster. In the recent gig the piece came up and, a few songs before I could feel the tension rising. (Overly focused on Self 1) Then there was a change in the music order and I wasn’t sure when it would happen. (Lack of control took over!) I stopped wondering and just played the stuff in front of me. I was enjoying myself. I was as close to flow as I could get. Then my solo piece came up. No time to think. No time to get nervous. Put the horn to my lips and play like it was Holst or “When the Saints Go Marching In.”

It worked! I flowed through the piece. When I got lost, I still knew what I was doing. Skills have increased as did the ability to keep Self 2 out of the picture. I enjoyed it. Immensely. Was it a great solo? Well, greatness is relative. Compared to Wynton, no. Compared to that other me, well maybe it was at least good. And as we all know, in jazz there are no wrong notes- some just sound better than others!

How then do we get to the place where “flow” can happen? Well, working on my general principle of how we do anything is how we do everything, it is important to build opportunities for flow into all of our lives. No matter what it is, if we build it into our lives it won’t matter if we are playing music or digging post holes in the backyard. We can be in flow.

I think it is important to expect flow to come. That’s where deliberate practice comes in. That’s where intention and self awareness come into play. All the things we talk about here are put into action. Following what we said above- Increase skill and/or increase the challenges. We can avoid apathy, boredom, and anxiety.

More than that, develop a personal practice that involves some kind of mindfulness or meditation help. If we learn those type of things, they will work their way into your musicianship as much as the rest of your live. Acceptance, staying in the moment, living one-day-at-a-time kind of approach, will also build a reservoir of skill in this. Like Barry Green, I have also found that Tai Chi/Qigong are ways to build this attitude of flow. Yoga can be a more active way, as can riding a bike or running, to build experiences of flow.

And let’s not forget putting the earbuds in and enjoying good music.

[Note: Thought I would at least give an update on my return to playing after that 8-day hiatus last month. It took just about four weeks to get back to the basic level of range and endurance I had before the surgery. Admittedly I didn’t push it to get back more quickly. After all this is supposed to be fun, right?]

Tuning Slide 4.16- When You Take Too Much Time Off

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

I just play music. That makes my whole day. I can practice and be happy.
— Trombone Shorty

Well, I’m glad I made it through the end of September and the beginning of October. If you remember I had a minor surgical procedure done at the end of last month. The doctor’s orders were clear, no playing trumpet for a week. The pressure could cause the incision to start bleeding again and extend the problem. You may also remember that as a typical trumpet player I looked for a way around it. I checked on a couple trumpet forums and they were just as clear as the doctor in stronger language. Simply put they said, Don’t be stupid. Don’t do it!

So I didn’t - for eight days. I broke an 18-month string of daily playing, practicing, and routine. I hadn’t missed that many days in a row since September 2015, right after I started this amazing journey into being a “real” trumpet player. The most had been three days, which as the oft-quoted meme says is when the audience begins to notice that the musician hasn’t been practicing.

So what happened? Did it truly affect my musicianship? How difficult has it been to get back in the groove and routine? Not a particularly surprising set of answers. They are almost exactly what most of us has been told many times. When you don’t practice everything suffers. But what was the most surprising was the reality of the word “everything.”

I noticed that I was off-kilter from the second day. The first day missed was, of course, the day of surgery. Everything was off-balance that day. I thought about missing the trumpet, but I did some extra focusing on watching some trumpet-related You Tube videos. The second day I noticed a sense of withdrawal. The trumpet was calling my name. I was then out of sorts all week, actually. Yes, some of it was from the aftermath of the surgery and the impact on my vision since it was eye surgery. But life just wasn’t right. Something was missing.

I wasn’t totally surprised by this. Anything that has become that much a part of daily life for so long will leave a void when it’s not there. But the void was more pervasive than expected. My mental focus wasn’t as clear; I was less grounded than I had been. I knew it wasn’t just the surgery. I therefore worked hard at listening to more music and spending time on You Tube. I worked on some of my compositions for the quintet and planning our gigs for later this fall. That helped since I was working on music. But I wanted to MAKE music, play it!

It was only when I got back to regular playing did it all make sense. I have written here many times about finding your song, making your music, expanding your musical voice. I have been working on these things with intent and intensity since that last long layout in September 2015. The Inner Game of Music ideas I have been exploring are about living intentionally and mindfully as much as they are about making music. Increasing daily mindfulness is something I teach and lead as part of my job- it is an evidence-based practice in the field of addiction treatment. I didn’t realize how much music helped me do that in my own life.

One of our human shortcomings I have discovered is that we often compartmentalize our lives. Each box, each compartment, each interest we may have doesn’t often connect with other areas. Here’s work. Over there is my family. Back in the corner is my music. Oh, I think I see a box for my exercising and physical health activities. I don’t often allow them to interact. That- in spite of one of those statements I have said on here many times:

How we do anything is how we do everything!

I discovered, much to my own surprise how much my music filters into everything I do. It fills my life, gives it a richness and a joy that is anything but work. It helps me relax in all I do. When I find myself being obsessive about my music- hyper-focused, overly intense, worried that it isn’t going right, for example- the rest of my life suffers. By not being able to play my music and allow it to feed and guide me, I was out of balance.

So what has happened since I started back? As I am writing this I have had just two weeks back in my daily routine. I have had friends who don’t practice on a daily basis. They seem to be able to pick up the trumpet and sound good. I have other friends who hear all their faults when they have to miss their routine. I was truly amazed at how both those things happened to me.

First, my sound did not suffer too greatly. Nor did my range. Why? I realized that it has to do with what I have learned from the Shell Lake faculty- it is in the breath and the consistency with which we learn to play with that breath. It is also the Inner Game trust of Self 2’s ability to do what it says it can do. When I picked up the trumpet again two weeks ago, I was not back where I was in 2015. I had a style, a routine, a training that allowed me to be able to do what I can do.

Second, however, my endurance and technique did suffer. I was not able to do the routine for 45 minutes like I was doing. I wasn’t even able to do two 30 minute sessions in a day. My range suffered when the endurance tanked. Today I was able to get past an hour of practice in two sessions. It felt good. My soul was renewed by that.

Third, I also learned that I had taken some stuff for granted. So I went back to some of the basic routine elements that I know help, such as ending my sessions with a couple of Concone etudes, a real confidence and sound booster. It extends the endurance while not challenging technique which gives Self 2 the opportunity to show me what I can do.

I hope I don’t have to do this again any time soon. It was frustrating, but at least I discovered that I am a far different musician than I was when I first set foot onto the campus as Shell Lake. Much has changed. For the better.

Now, if I could only apply this to my routine of exercise and fitness.

Tuning Slide 4.13- Mastery # 3 & 4: Discipline and Joy

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.
-Roy L. Smith

Last month I posted the first two in a series discussing the “pathways to true artistry” that Barry Green outlined in his book, The Mastery of Music, his follow-up to the groundbreaking Inner Game of Music. In each of them he looks at musicians and outlines a different pathway they embody. The first was communication, the second was courage. For the third and fourth pathways he talks about Discipline and Fun. First let’s look at

Discipline: The Way of the Will

Just by the name, this sure sounds like it’s going to be a lot of work. Discipline! Nose to the grindstone! All that wonderful stuff that sounds dull, boring, and keeps us from enjoying life. Yet a quick search for quotes about it finds more motivational statements than we can ignore. Without it, we are told over and over, we get nowhere! We will never get to where we want to go! We will never reach our goals.

In short, as Barry Green notes, discipline is simply another way of talking about maintaining focus. We lose our focus, we lose sight of what we want and what our intentions are. We lose the interest and excitement of the possibilities- and we stop. Green describes this in Inner Game terms by saying that loss of discipline or focus is taking Self 1’s criticisms as gospel that we will never make it to where we want to be- so why bother. Discipline instead, he says is choosing to follow Self 2’s assurance that “I can do this!”

He of course talks about goals in all of this. Discipline for the sake of discipline may make us focused and intentional- but to what end? Why do we want to do this? Why do we want to discipline ourselves, often taking the more intense road when we could just sit back and relax? What are my goals? Of course, as we all know there are different levels of goals- long-, medium-, and short-term:

✓ Long-term goals: These are the dreams that we have. They can be years- or even lifetime-long goals.

⁃ Somewhere back in the dimness of my adolescence I committed in some way or another to the dream of being a trumpet player. It was more than just for the few years of high school and college. It never went away. My goal has always been to be a musician in more than just name. It was something that was deep inside me. It has informed and guided so much of what I have done as a trumpet player, but also as an amateur guitar player, or wannabe composer.

✓ Medium-term goals: These are the goals for the next 12- to perhaps 18-months. These are steps along the way to achieving that long-term goal.

⁃ At different points in my life I had some to none in this area. Usually it was just getting ready for the next Christmas or Easter at church. Then it was the summer community band season. Then it became a year-round community band season. That long-term goal was always underneath it all, but lots of other things kept me from really getting down and dirty with the discipline needed. Time- I was after all a full-time pastor, husband, and then father. The overall medium-term goal was simply not to lose what I had of being the musician I wanted to be. That meant I had to keep looking for times and places to practice, even without a concert or performance goal.

✓ Short-term: These are the goals for the next week to month. These are the goals needed to become more adept at the musicianship on an almost micro-level. Where do I need to focus (!) more specifically? What needs work? Where can I find what I need to learn?

⁃ Late last month, for example, I said my goal was to have a lesson sometime by mid-October. I had been working on the things from the last couple lessons and I needed to make some plans. A few beyond-my-control issues cropped up that have delayed this, but by the time this is posted, I hope to have one scheduled. I was also aware the other week that I needed to be more specific on the practice routine of slow and even, with discipline needed on making a fuller sound. That was my focus for the week before I had to take some time off due to surgery.

Even at my age and place in life, that first long-term goal has been maintained. It has gotten a little more focused thanks to The Shell Lake Big Band and Trumpet Workshops and I have discovered more tools and directions than I ever thought possible. I am probably the best trumpet player I have ever been. I am doing things that I only dreamed of. A long-term goal like mine can be an end in and of itself. I find incredible pleasure out of being able to do what I do and to play the music I am playing.

Over fifty years ago my HS band director assigned me the 1st Characteristic Study from the Arban’s book. If there has been an unspoken long-term goal for me over these fifty years it is to be able to play that. I have worked on it in various ways over the years, but never with discipline. A couple years ago I made a medium-term goal of working on it. I didn’t succeed very well due to a number of things. But I kept working on my musicianship, my articulation skills, my sound, my sight-reading. About a month ago I started a disciplined approach and found that I was actually closer to playing it than I have ever been.

After this brief surgery-caused hiatus my short-term goal is to make progress on the middle two sections of that study, the two that are my least polished. It is a very clear short-term goal, based on the medium-term goal of increased musicianship, undergirded by the long-term dream of being a trumpet player! Arban’s #1 will add one more example to my growth.

I will look more into the practice aspect of all this next week, but I don’t want to end without mentioning the fourth pathway to true artistry:

Fun: The Joy in Music

If this weren’t fun and fulfilling, I wouldn’t be doing it! I would have long ago given up and sold the trumpet. (I know- unbelievable, huh?) Fun is essential. As I said a few weeks ago- we “play” music, we don’t work it. Music touches my soul. It energizes and directs and moves me. Especially playing it. This past week of not being able to play has been difficult. I have been out of sorts. There is a piece of my joy missing.

But more on that next week. Until then- Stay focused. Be disciplined. Self 2 knows you can do it. So do it!

Tuning Slide 4.10- Mastery of Music #2: The High Road

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Success is not final, failure is not fatal:
it is the courage to continue that counts.
― Winston S. Churchill

A few weeks ago I posted the first in a series discussing the “pathways to true artistry” that Barry Green outlined in his book, The Mastery of Music, his follow-up to the groundbreaking Inner Game of Music. In each of them he looks at musicians and outlines a different pathway they embody. The first was “communication”- the silent rhythm as found in conductors and ensembles. For the second pathway he looks to the French horn and percussion for his ideas. They, he says, can teach us about

Courage: Choosing the High Road.

Music, Green tells us, has little (to no) tolerance for error. Unlike many sports where errors can win games (or lose them), music is far less flexible. Imagine if Doc Severinsen missed one of every 15 to 20 notes he played. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but we, the audience would get the feeling that it was time for him to retire. Every time we play in performance we get only one chance to get it right. We could come in early or late, loud or soft, crisp or mushy articulation, in one or out. All kinds of things can happen in the middle of the piece. Four measures before, we can’t call a time-out to make sure we are ready; we can’t ask for a do-over.

Green says it takes courage to face this performance after performance. He goes on to look at courage from the inside. Watching someone be “courageous” we may often think that they have no fear. In fact it looks like the opposite. In reality we are seeing fear that someone knows how to deal with. “Keep going,” the horn player reminds us as they play one of the trickier instruments. “Don’t stop,” says the percussionist who is almost always a soloist. This is, Green reminds us, “to go for it in spite of the fear of negative consequences should you fail.” That is “choosing the high road.”

That Green says is a “joyous choice.”

They “go for it” because of the “beauty of music and the joy of playing it.” Any musician who has played in a public performance knows that beauty and joy. Last week the director of the local community band arrived at rehearsal literally beaming. We were going to sight-read what he felt was one of the greatest wind band numbers- one that most of us have never played or even heard of. He was joyous that he could direct and we could play the piece. And no, it wasn’t a simple piece. But we played it- sight-reading the whole 15-minute piece.

Yes, it was a joy! Of course it didn’t take courage to do that in rehearsal. But it is in rehearsal that we learn the music and the beauty it has so we can play what it takes when it comes to the performance. Later in the same rehearsal we played another piece that was new to many of us. We got to the end and the three of us trumpets sitting together looked at each other. “That was hard,” one of us said with a smile. “Yes, but wow, was it fun!” another said. We all agreed.

The music goes on and the parts must be played! If we can’t deal with our fears and doubts we better decide to do something else. We will inevitably get stuck in that spot. I have told that story of my nearly 50 years of fear of a solo here before. It kept me stuck in many ways. It prevented me from taking a new leap into my musicality. I lacked the courage to fail. Again.

Let me be clear that the courage Green and I are talking about is not the courage to face those potentially life-altering events of ultimate success or failure. If I fail in a solo or play that F natural when it should be an F# the world, mine or anyone else’s is not going to fall apart. But courage is a very broad term that can have all kinds of subtle or explosive meanings. It takes my own courage to get through my fears. Even when it is “simply” playing the solo in the 2nd movement of Holst’s Second Suite.

When we come to those moments, Green calls it a fork in the road. (No Yogi Berra jokes.) One fork leads to the music in it’s beauty and power; the other leads to doubt, hesitation, or paralysis, says Green. So how do we move into the musical fork? He gives us four ways.

1. Be prepared. Practice- and then more practice- increases the familiarity with the music and reminds you that you are ready. Courage can often just be preparation. When you doubt you have the skills or haven’t prepared, Green reminds us, we are choosing to fail- to take the low road.

2. Don’t panic- keep focused. Stay with the music. Feel it, get its sense and rhythm and flow. Go with it. Know what you can do, not what you can’t.

3. Remind yourself of what brought you to this moment. Why do we do this crazy thing called music? Why do I take the time every day, day in and day out, to practice? Why did I get started in it in the first place? Play with that passion.

4. Believe in yourself. Self 2 can do this. Let it happen. When we have practiced and know the music, we can play with conviction and that will show in the music that comes out.

Channel your fear and courage. Take the adrenaline that pumps in the fear response and use it to the positive production of your music. It is extra energy that can be focused into heightened sense and increased awareness. The mindfulness that ensues will allow your self 1 to let go and trust self 2.

This is the courage to follow dreams. As we do this, we find that our soul will be enriched and skills will be strengthened that we can use to move the music into places we never thought we could go. In the end courage is not really overcoming fear, Green says, it is knowing that you are ready to give as honest a performance as possible.

And maybe even more!

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Here is the piece that our director was excited about. It is Holst’s Moorside Suite. The third movement, The March, is incredible.

Tuning Slide 4.7-

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

The feeling of togetherness- not togetherness as in some rigid lock step, but togetherness as in dance- is vitally important in music making.
-Barry Green, The Mastery of Music

Barry Green is the author, with Tim Gallwey, of the classic book, The Inner Game of Music. His second book looked at The Mastery of Music: Ten Pathways to True Artistry. In this book Green expanded beyond the Inner Game ideas into developing “true artistry” in our music. Every couple weeks I am going to take one of these ten pathways and bring it to my life and the applications to the Tuning Slide goals.

In The Inner Game of Music Green talked about two of three disciplines than demands mastery. The first was the techniques, the second was concentration. These two are basic, essential, foundations of making music. The conflicts and agreements of our Self 1 which is always ready to remind us of our mistakes and Self 2 which is the innate and intuitive side that knows how to do it are the building blocks. The third discipline is developing what Green calls, “true artistry.” In my view this takes the technique and concentration and begins to develop musicality. To find these, Green looked at different instruments and different people who seem to live and even embody these 10 pathways. He interviewed them and put it all into this book. Let’s start the journey with Green.

Pathway #1— Communication: The Silent Rhythm (Ensembles and Conductors)
I am working under the assumption that we are musicians because we like to make music and that we practice so that we can do that with others. A solo recitals can be nice, but that isn’t really what making music is all about. Even practicing with a play-along CD doesn’t get to the real joy of music that playing in a combo or band can. In order to play well with others there has to be some way we learn to communicate with each other. There has to be some method, style, trick, or just plain intuition that leads us to do more than just be a collection of musicians doing our own things and hoping (or believing) it works together. And most of the time we have to do it without speaking, on the fly, in the midst of a piece.
Green calls this the “silent rhythm” that unites us in communicating with the audience. He calls it “non-verbal, rhythmic union.” Musicians playing in a group get into something called “entrainment.” They sense the rhythm of the music as played by their colleagues. No one is micromanaging the rhythm through conducting. They feel it. As the group locks into a pulse they become more in tune and more efficient and musical in their playing. Yes, there is a science behind it.

In 1665, Dutch physicist Christiaan Huygens, inventor of the pendulum clock, was lying in bed with a minor illness and watching two of his clocks hanging on a wall…. He noticed something odd: No matter how the pendulums on these clocks began, within about a half-hour, they ended up swinging in exactly the opposite direction from each other.

Research has shown that the reason for what Huygens noticed is in vibrations (sounds) on the wall caused by the pendulums swinging works to move them into synch, in tune with each other. In reality this falling into synch is improving efficiency. The two pendulums are no longer working against each other. They are “in tune.” In order to get to that point as musicians we have to go back to the technique and concentration Green related to in the Inner Game. We have to know how to play the parts we have- mistakes, flubs, ineffective fingerings can get out of synch with the rhythm.

We must also give in to the group. We must cease being a lone musician who just happens to be playing with others and let Self 2 do its thing. Self 2 is not as worried about your own technique. Self 2 knows what you or I can do and just wants Self 1 to let us do it. Self 2 knows what’s needed- so let it happen. Distraction, whether by the hyper-critical or hyper-analytical Self 1 or a lapse in focus can easily get you out of synch. Concentration- mindfulness and surrendering to the music- keeps us on.

As we share that with each other, Green lets us know that we are receiving guidance from the music itself, from its pulses and chords, phrases and rhythm. In so doing we receive energy (those vibrations) from the music and our colleagues in the group. In Eastern philosophy there is the idea of “Qi” or “chi” as energy. (Hence Qigong and T’ai Chi). As we play in a group it is that same type of energy that is being shared, silently yet powerfully among us.

Green talked to both percussionists and conductors to explain this idea since it is they who must most fully embody that in the group for all of us. They can get the rhythm, or even set it and communicate non-verbally with the rest of us. As we all fall into it, the “groove” sets in and, well, then it “swings” no matter what the genre of music!

But it is not something that can be forced. One of the musicians Green talked to (Ralph Towner) called it a “zen thing— as soon as you think you have its you lose it.”

There are no secondary roles in music: everything you do affects the total music. So it is critical to be one hundred percent attentive to everything, all the time, and hear the whole as it evolves.

Is it any wonder that right behind “sound” is “rhythm” in the building of musicality? Green concludes:

We don’t just play notes: music is a live current, and we navigate it. This current can be shaped and gently guided, but not pinned down…. The moment we interfere too much, the music’s power, effectiveness, and flow will be disturbed…. We have to be silent, attentive, and sensitive to its shape. We have to intuit a silent rhythm that has the power to unite us. We each have unique capacities to respond to the music, and the better we understand, the more we feel, the closer we will come to the true spirit, and the more artistry we shall have to express.

Just like life.

"No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
— John Donne (1572-1631)

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The Mastery of Music: Ten Pathways to True Artistry by Barry Green, chapter 1, pp 21-43.
(2003, Broadway Books.)