Tuning Slide 4.52- Perception is Reality (from Year 1)

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

(I’m taking four weeks off from new posts while I do a number of things, not all related to this blog. In these four weeks I am posting some from the very first year of The Tuning Slide. Some of it will be to refresh my thoughts, and some of it will just ground what I am doing in the purposes of the blog. This one was post #1.12 on 11/18/2015.)

---

Don't be afraid,
just play the music.
― Charlie Parker

As a counselor, one thing I always have to keep in mind is that when someone sees reality a certain way, they believe it. For them it IS reality. It doesn't matter whether it is true or imagined. Reality is often what we perceive it to be. So when they come into my office or group for therapy I have to start where they are- even if I know it to be false or mis-perceived.
As we pick up our horn to practice or to perform, what we consider reality will govern what we do next.

For years I believed I could not play a solo.

I was right. I couldn't play a solo. I would always mess it up. Even though I kept at it in church, for example, if I had a organ or piano and trumpet duet I never, ever got it right. Never. Something would always go wrong. I would miss a count and therefore come in early or late. I would miss a sharp or flat and play a discordant note. Any one of a number of things happened every time. Most people didn't notice it as significant most of the time, but I did.

"See," I would say to myself, "you can't play a solo."
I was proving the truth of Henry Ford's statement:

Whether you think you can,
or you think you can't--
you're right.
― Henry Ford

Fortunately I loved playing trumpet so much I never allowed it to stop me from trying or from continuing to play in bands. I would avoid solos, even in band. My trumpet soloing above even 55 other musicians would send my heart into high gear, the adrenaline would flow, the fight or flight mechanism would kick in- and I would mess it up.

Over and over the refrain- you can't solo, you can't solo, you can't!

My perception of reality was true- even if it wasn't.

Note that this was not a fear of being in front of people. I have been in public for 50 years preaching, radio DJ, cable TV host. I could stand and talk to hundreds of people and not be nervous. Put a trumpet in my hand and make me solo in front of a handful- forget it. I can't do that. So said my perception of reality.

So what happened, esp. since I wouldn't be writing about it if it hadn't changed?

My first step was to work with a teacher. Just to play in his presence was a big step. He gave me some assignments; I worked on them; I improved.

Second, I was invited to join a brass quintet. When there are only five of you, each part is, in essence, a solo. We had a lot of fun practicing and developing a repertoire. When we finally did play in public performance I did okay, but I still messed up somewhere in each performance. Again, not always noticeable and never as badly as I had before, but I was building confidence in myself- and reality was shifting.

Third, I began playing some first parts in our community band. I found that most of the time I could do that! But that wasn't a solo. Again- perceptions were changing internally.

Fourth, one year ago this week the community band had a concert and with a solo on one number. My teacher was also playing first and he told me that I was playing it. I didn't argue. I figured that if he thought I was capable, maybe I was.

We worked on it in my lessons. I could play it very well- at home or in the lesson. But not at any rehearsal. Never.

I can't play solos!

But I refused to back down. (Stubborn ol' cuss!) The director never suggested I give it to someone else. The night before the concert we had our dress rehearsal and ...

Nope, still not right.

Concert night. The piece comes up. ("Valdres March" by Hanssen) It starts with my trumpet solo. I do okay. A little weak, but not particularly strong, either. Maybe I can solo? Maybe?

We get to the end and approach the D.C. back to the top- and the solo. One last chance. As we move along toward the D.C. I have a conversation with myself.

• This music is supposed to be fun.
• You're not having fun.
• Have fun.
• You can do it.
• Screw it.
• Play the damn thing!!!

Yep- it worked.

I nailed it. My teacher gave me a thumbs up!

The first solo I played well in almost 50 years.

Reality made a seismic shift and I was now a "real" trumpet player again.

After the first of the year I will be doing some posts on the idea of "The Inner Game" about how we sabotage ourselves with a "Self One" and a "Self Two". That's what this is really about. It starts with our perception of reality. What we believe is what guides us. Reality or not, if we see it that way, that's the way it is. Don't confuse me with facts.

Unless you want to learn to do it differently. I didn't realize that's what I was doing when I started this journey about five or six years ago; when I said yes to the quintet or decided to take lessons again.

So,

• Get out of yourself and seek support and new insights.
• Stretch yourself. Take some chances and risks. All you can do is make a mistake. It's not the end of the world.
• Keep practicing.
• Hear the perception of reality that is keeping you from doing what you can do.
• Then do it.

That's what I did over the years in my life. It works with any task I think I can or can't do. The trumpet isn't any different.

And it is supposed to be fun. Enjoy it!

(BTW: Thanks to Warren, Steve, and Mike for sticking with me through these past years!)

Tuning Slide 4.47- Being Free #3

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way.
If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

Jim Rohn

Two weeks ago I started a series based on a blog post at Planet of Success by Steve Mueller. It is about 10 powerful ways to free yourself if you are stuck. I took the concepts and riffed on them from my own experiences in the last 8-10 years to overcome self-defeating attitudes that kept me from changing and growing in my trumpet playing. Here are the themes of the previous two weeks:

1. Face your fears
2. Break your routine
3. Effect change, one step at a time
4. Overcome the perception of impossibilities
5. Be honest with yourself
6. Change your perspective

This week we will look at four more. And as always, my thoughts are in italics.

7. Differentiate between feeling and fact
✓ The inability to get unstuck may feel very real, but in the end, it’s just a feeling. And this very feeling creates our perception of the situation. For this reason, it’s important to remind yourself that feelings are not facts.

Try to look at your situation more objectively. Emotional responses might cloud your perception of reality.

Feelings… or facts? Most of the time we are willing to base our “facts” on “feelings”, even if we think they are really, truly, honestly, facts. Since I have been using my Memorial Day experience from high school as the basis of my “facts” it was hard to say that I was going on feelings. It was a clearly obvious “fact” that first, I am not as good a trumpet player as I like to think I am, and second, that I am bad at auditions. Just look at the visible signs of that on that Memorial Day and then when I didn’t get into the college marching band after a poor audition.

But the facts were different. I was not a less skilled trumpet player because I had problems with Taps on that holiday. It may be that I was careless, or just plain human and capable of error, but skill? No way. Blowing the audition surely showed I let things go downhill when faced with pressure. Never mind that they most likely had enough trumpets and didn’t need a freshman- I was simply not good enough I told me. The fact was I could do it, in both situations, but for the next few decades, you couldn’t have convinced me- until I found some facts and began to move forward. Unstuck.

8. Avoid blaming others
✓ It’s relatively easy to blame others when we feel stuck. While this is a great strategy to maintain peace of mind, it will contribute nothing to the solution of your problem.

Even though you’d like to find an external cause for your situation, try to seek that cause within yourself first. Try to take control over your life by not seeking the fault for your problems in others.

I didn’t face this issue in my situation with my music. I knew it was all my fault and therefore I couldn’t do it. But it is a difficult issue to face. We can always find someone else to blame. I could have blamed the tiredness of having marched to the cemetery for my error; I could have said that the person doing my audition was too intimidating; I could have said they didn’t know what they were doing. That might have prevented some of the attitudes I developed, but they would have kept me stuck because once it happens, it will happen again. The next time it will be because they did it. No matter how you look at it, getting stuck is still getting stuck.

9. Stop comparing yourself to others
✓ While we think we compare ourselves in an objective manner, quite the contrary is the case…. In most situations, we take our weakest spots and compared these with people who are above-average in this area.

If you’re feeling stuck in life, try not to measure your life’s worth based on other people’s accomplishments. Measure your life based upon your own standards. Don’t just mindlessly adopt society’s definition of success, find your very own.

You can always find someone who has different, more, or even greater skills than you do. If I always compare myself to Maynard, Miles, or Doc, I will always fall short. Therefore I am not good enough. It’s an old saying that the only person to compare yourself to is you- yesterday. Have you improved since yesterday? If you haven’t, then do something different- the whole gist of this series on getting unstuck. These ways of getting unstuck are really just ways to change our perspective and find the new ways to see what you or I have done and can do. If playing as good as Doc or Miles is the measure of success, forget it. None of us would ever be successful. But stop- what if Miles had said, I can’t be as good as Satchmo? How much poorer the music world would be.

10. Stop making excuses
✓ Excuses keep us from moving forward in life.
Don’t focus on all the different reasons that keep you stuck. Shift your attention to what needs to be done to effect positive change.

That pretty much sums it up! Make the change.

Mueller then completes the 10 steps with the call to do it yourself:

In the end, the only one that is holding you back is yourself. Do not fall prey to the mistake of focusing all your attention on lousy excuses. Look for the steps you can take that will get you out of your situation.

Get past the excuses this week. Take one more step and make a move. It’s not as hard as it feels- or we make it out to be.

Tuning Slide 4.37- Life Lessons #3- Jazz and Life

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

What we play is life.
—Louis Armstrong

Before last week’s attempted sidetrack into humor I have been looking at the application of life lessons from music. This week I come to what may be the single best music to learn from:

Jazz.

Life is always better with jazz. This is not to discount all the other kinds of music. Classical, pop, rock and roll, bluegrass- they all have an important place in my life and experiences. Each one can change moods, open doors, give vision, and give life new dimensions.

But there is something about jazz.

Jazz is a music genre that originated in the African-American communities of New Orleans, United States, in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and developed from roots in blues and ragtime. Jazz is seen by many as "America's classical music". Since the 1920s Jazz Age, jazz has become recognized as a major form of musical expression. It then emerged in the form of independent traditional and popular musical styles, all linked by the common bonds of African-American and European-American musical parentage with a performance orientation. — Link

As a counselor, for example, I have to listen to what someone else is saying, make sense of it, figure out what it might mean, and then respond. It’s like improvising jazz. The same is true as a preacher, even working from a manuscript, or as a public speaker feeling the mood of the crowd.

Two interesting books come to mind when looking at an understanding of jazz:

• The Jazz of Physics by Stephon Alexander and
• Yes to the Mess: Surprising Leadership Lessons from Jazz by Frank Barrett

Google articles about jazz and business and on the first page you get:

• How Jazz Can Transform Business - Forbes
• What Can Jazz Teach Us about Business? | TIME.com
• Business and all that jazz | Education | The Guardian
• Jazz as a Metaphor for the New Model of the Enterprise - Don Tapscott
• What Leaders Can Learn from Jazz - Harvard Business Review
• How Jazz Music Prepared Me for Life as a CEO - Entrepreneur
• 8 Lessons that Entrepreneurs Can Learn from Jazz - Jazz Education

One of the articles I found gave a good list to “riff” on for me- Josh Linkner in “11 Leadership Lessons From Jazz Musicians” at Inc. Here’s his list with my thoughts interspersed.

1. Playing it safe gets you tossed off the stage. Take risks. Yes, it is risky to take steps outward, to step into center stage. But we all have to do it.
2. There are no do-overs in live performances. Practice so you know what you can do is the secret of jazz improvising. This helps us get certain things about ourselves into the realm of being natural. It is no different than learning to walk- it takes practice and then you don’t have to think about it anymore. Life is a live performance- go for it.
3. Listening to those around you is three times more important than what you play yourself. Pay attention to others. I know too many people, myself included at times, that are always thinking about that they are going to say next instead of listening. Listen! I am amazed at what I don’t know and what I can learn.
4. There's a time to stand out as a soloist and a time to support others and make them shine. Share the glory! What do you do when someone else is getting the congratulations? Stand and feel jealous? Wish it was you? That won’t get us anywhere. Celebrate with them.
5. Expect surprises and adversity, since jazz (and life) is about how you respond and adapt. Anticipate problems and plan. This is where that practice in #2 above really pays off.
6. Know your audience. It is often about the other person’s needs. Remember #3- listening. This is one of the reasons we do that when with others- so we can respond to them where they are.
7. It's always better leaving people wanting more, rather than less. Don’t overdo it.
8. The best leaders are those that make others sound good. Don’t hold back and keep others from shining.
9. Pattern recognition is easier than raw genius. Learn from what has happened. This helps when the surprises happen- “Oh, I’ve been through this before. I can handle it.”
10. Shy musicians are starving artists. Linkner says, If you're playing a gig, you get paid when there's butts in seats, so you can't be shy in telling people about the upcoming show. Learn to present your possibilities without bragging. It also means looking for opportunities to be yourself, to learn, to share, to grow.
11. Keeping it new and fresh is mandatory. Linkner reminds us that Jazz has its roots in real-time, collaborative innovation. Look for the new challenges. Then look for those people who you can work with to make it real. Find the friends, the colleagues, the significant other who does more than just agrees with you, but who will also challenge and enhance what you have to offer!

Linkner ends with this:

Legendary jazz pianist Dave Brubeck put it best, and his words resonate not only on stage for musicians but also in life for business leaders. As he so eloquently described it, "There's a way of playing safe, there's a way of using tricks and there's the way I like to play, which is dangerously, where you're going to take a chance on making mistakes in order to create something you haven't created before."

I would sum this all up with the idea that life does not come with an instruction manual. How can it? Each of us is unique with our own blend of ideas, abilities, insights, and experiences. We build on what we have been given and what we know. In the end you compose your own operations manual and the song that is you!

3.29- The Tuning Slide: The Goal- Making Theory into Reality

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.
— Henry David Thoreau

First, here is the note from the board at last year's workshop to start us off:

✓ Taking the theoretical and making it real.

Let me play with these words for a while. I promise you that if it doesn’t work out, you are not reading this. Or whatever. Seriously, I do want to play word doodling here with the whole idea of that quote. What are the steps of moving from theory to reality?

So let’s set the parameter:

• Theory- an idea that something can be done.
• Reality- doing it.

It is obvious, then, that there is:

• Issue #1- what do I want to have happen?

The answer to that is found by asking myself:

What’s important to me?
Where do I want to go?

I may not even have an idea about what the “theory” is that I am going to try to make into reality. It is vague, it is uncertain. One could call it nebulous, which is another way of saying cloudy and indistinct.

At this point it’s all in my head. It is not even truly a dream.

I take myself back to my first Shell Lake trumpet workshop 2 1/2 years ago. I went because I sensed something would be there after meeting Bob Baca at the Adult Big Band Workshop. Was it my 50+ year experience of being a musician and being able to play music? Was it a sense that maybe I can improve? Most likely it was these things based in what has been an unending part of my life: music.

While at Shell Lake I had an experience that told me, in theory, that I can do something with my trumpet playing, even at age 67. I can move beyond the relatively mediocre but somewhat experienced musician I was. The theory was:

At age 67 I can become a better trumpet player.

Visions and dreams are nice, but they remain nothing if we don’t do something about them. So the next stage, though not a particularly clear one for me at that point was what I call:

• Self-testing in thought experiments.
  
  • If I do this, what could happen?
  • What are the pros and cons?
  • What are the steps I will need to take?

NEXT is to do some:

• Research and planning.

The research was right there in front of me at the workshop in Mr. Baca and all the staff. I took crazy notes. I exhausted myself with thoughts and answers. I overwhelmed my thinking processes with new ideas. I listened and asked questions. If I was to find out if the theory was possible, if it could become a reality, I had to have a plan, which was also right in front of me-

• The Bill Adam Routine!
  
  • It was a daily plan to get me started. It was the long tones and thirds, the expanding Clarke #1 and Schlossberg #28. It was making a commitment to playing as often as I could, missing as little as possible. Let’s see what happens, was my philosophy. It can’t hurt- and might actually work.

Which led to

• Action

I did what I said I was going to do.

• Month 1- Easy: I practiced 87% of the month. I was psyched.
• Month 2- a lot of travel and I was not ready to figure out how to practice on the road. Only 15 out of 30 days.
• Month 3- Back in gear. 84% of the month.
• By the end of December- 90% with an overall average of 3 out of 4 days practicing or playing.
• Next two months at 78%, then no month since then under 87%.
• At end of 12 months and returning to Trumpet Workshop: I had practiced and/or played my trumpet on 9 out of 10 days.

Did it work?
Yep. I was getting comments from friends. My wife noticed the improvement. I was building endurance. And Mr. Baca pointed out how much I had changed!

That meant it was time for the next two steps:

• Reflection
• Repeat the process with new goals, new theories to work on, new research to do, new plans to make.

Other goals I have worked on include learning the 12 major scales (without using music), expanding range, learning improvisation, being more intentional about my practice planning.

So, as a trumpet player who has visions of Doc and Maynard floating through his head, here is a new theory to explore:

Is it possible for a now 69 year old experienced trumpet player who is no longer quite as mediocre to build upper register range?

I have never had a range above the staff. If I did in high school, over 50 years ago now, I don’t remember it. I avoided high parts. I would break into a nervous sweat if it went above that “G” on top of the staff and only agree to play that piece with that in it early in a performance. Sure, the “A” above that was somewhat reachable, but only when the gods and weather systems worked together.

Do I need to be able to play up there?
Not if I am playing mostly 3rd and 4th with an occasional 2nd here and there. And if I build enough endurance I could probably, in a pinch, get up to the “B”. But if I want to do any 1st parts, or even interesting improvising, I need to at least be comfortable up there. One friend said that, in essence, your “usable range” is actually about a third lower than your upper note. That meant that my “usable range” was that top space “E” and top line “F”.

That was not good enough for me anymore. But is it possible, at my age, to do that? Hence the research, planning, and action model. I found some of my notes from what Mr. Baca had said about playing the high notes the same way you play the lower ones (simplified, I know.) I took a lesson with Bill Bergren at this past year’s workshop and learned how to start all over again. (Yep! Thanks again, Bill, in all sincerity!) I did some Googling on the Internet. And I started working on it.

As of today, my actual range is now “F” to “F” sharp on the ledger lines above the staff!! My effective range is now up to “C” and “D” above the staff. (I’m still not sure what they are officially called.) I finally broke through a barrier/break that I didn’t know was there but hit every time- the “G-A-B” above the staff. It is a real break in playing and takes time. I didn’t know that before doing the research. In finding that out I realized it wasn’t my inability to play it that was the problem. It was an actual physical and mental thing together. Now I go sailing right through it. I think I have found another one (for me anyway) from “D-E-F” above that.

And I am working on it.

In short, without the whole process and being far more intentional (and less intense!) about it, the more fun it has become. The result is that I am a better musician, trumpet player, and human person, as a result of finding these things about myself.

Truly we can take the theoretical and make it real. It doesn’t happen overnight and we all work at our own pace. But it does work. At the 2nd trumpet workshop I said to my friend Jeff as we looked at the music- I don’t think I will ever play up there in that register above the above the staff High “C”.

I had to apologize for lying to him. He laughed and encouraged me to keep at it.

Keep researching, keep planning, keep the actions moving.

The Tuning Slide: 2.28

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Last week I talked about anxiety, specifically performance anxiety and some ways to deal with it. My last point in that post was:

• Have fun practicing!
  I do this because I enjoy it. I need to enjoy the music I make in practice as well. That is where self one learns to trust self two. Maybe I need to stop the tweaking of my plan to get over performance anxiety- and just learn to do it. No, not learn to do it- just do it. And that takes the ability to focus.

I realized as I was summing up things last week that performance anxiety is enhanced, if not caused, by distraction or lack of focus. When I am “working on" “dealing with” my anxiety I am NOT focused on the music. Distraction causes me to lose my ability to stay on task- even a task that is simple and deeply ingrained. I found that happen several times last week when I was practicing scales sitting on the balcony. It has been my favorite place to practice this winter- the Gulf of Mexico, the birds, the wonder of the sky and beach all add a sense of peace.

But only if I don’t focus on them.

So I was running through one of the basic, level one scales, you know, Bb and Eb concert. Most of us can probably do them in our sleep. But not as well if you get sidetracked by something around you-

Hey, look at that pelican..
What a beautiful sky it is today..

Or, well you get the picture. As soon as even the simplest thought entered consciousness, I would miss notes or my fingers would get flubbed up or I would forget where I was in the scale.

That is a major problem of mine. I have never been diagnosed as ADD, but I sure can be easily…

Squirrel!

…distracted,.

I have improved in my performance distractibility. For one I have a pair of reading glasses that focus best at about the distance of the music stand. I can’t see the movements in the audience as easily. (Chalk up one good thing for age!) I have also learned how to stay more focused on the director from peripheral vision alignment. That way I can stay focused on the music in front of me and not get lost when moving from looking at the music, then to the director and back again.

The next step in this process is to deal with focus in practice. That brings me back to

• planning,
• goal setting,
• being intentional in my schedule,
• keeping a journal,
• recording myself, and
• using a metronome.

Here is where I still struggle. I have improved in the first three, but need work in the next three. I have a hunch that if I learn to increase my overall focus in practice, I will begin to find more of it in performance.

I can do it- any of us can. The best example of that may be that as Mr. Baca and others at the Shell Lake Trumpet Workshop have said:

If you have six-weeks to learn something- it will take you six months. If you have six days, you will be ready in six-days.

In the end that may be the best description of focus. Which is why goals, with timelines, are good ideas. They are self-imposed deadlines, yet not so demanding that you resent yourself for imposing them. All in all it is the working on those inner voices that can get us stuck- or soaring to new levels of ability. Focus is being able to sort out the helpful from the unhelpful, the reality from the fear, and learning how to be more in the present. John Raymond, trumpeter and Shell Lake Trumpet Workshop instructor wrote on this in a recent Facebook post.

About 15 years ago I came to New York for the first time. My dad managed to hook up a lesson with the great Vincent Penzarella and, while I didn't remember this until my dad reminded me a couple weeks ago, he dropped some HEAVY wisdom on me back then. It went something like this:

VP: "John, why are you here?"

JR: "I came out to NYC to check out some music schools and I thought this would be a great opportunity to learn from the best."

VP: "Great! Well, who's been your best teacher?"

JR: (most likely some immature response, although my first response was much better than I would've given myself credit for back then).

VP: "The best teacher you'll ever have is your own brain. You know when you are playing and are really in the zone, and then you miss a note. Your brain says "I messed up, oh no." The critical side of your brain can talk very loudly. But you can't be creative when your brain is critical."

"Your brain allows you to be critical or to be creative, but you can't do both at the same time. The critical side of your brain, especially for a perfectionist in music, can speak very loudly John. You need to learn how to manage that critical side. You are going to have to learn how to talk yourself out of that and let the creative side surface."

"Your number 2 best teacher is the music. Listen to the music, learn the music, respect the music, love the music, just as it is. It has been around for a lot of years for a reason."

I only wish I had the maturity back then to internalize all this. Nevertheless, 15 years later and I can confidently say that these words are 100% ON POINT.
- John Raymond

Well, it is never too late to internalize it. That’s what these posts and the whole Tuning Slide blog is about. It is moving forward, taking risks, pushing the envelope. It is finding new ways to be a better musician, a better person, and going to new places in our own experience.

Tuning Slide: The Reality of Dreams

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

-Henry David Thoreau

A month or so ago I came across a group of people going door-to-door for some cause or other. I was polite and said, "Hello. How are things going?" The answer was a kind of sarcastic, almost fatalistic, "Living the dream!"

Huh? I just went on my way- as did they.

A couple days ago I was talking to a fellow trumpet player who asked about my involvement in groups and my regular routine. After telling him he responded, "Well, that is being a musician full-time."

I smiled and said that this has been a dream of mine for years- to be a "full-time musician. Finally, with semi-retirement, I'm doing it."

When I stop and think about that statement I am still taken aback. What right does a 67-year old retired pastor and semi-retired counselor have to think he can be a "full-time musician?" Even though I don't need to do it to make a living, is it realistic? Isn't it naïve to think it is possible or should even be worth doing?

One of the quotes I wrote down at the end of trumpet camp last summer was:

The reality of dreams comes from naive ideas.

Simply put, even to think some of our dreams are possible is an act of naive belief. As usual, I like to look at definitions and found these two for naive:

• showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment.
• natural and unaffected; innocent.

Most times when we dream of things we would like to do or become there is a definite lack of experience. It is naive in that we don't know what it means or even how to get there. It sounds impossible. We may be told, "Get real!"

A lack of experience, wisdom and judgment, however, can easily lead to the second definition- innocent. Many dreams have a simple, joyful aspect to them. They are based on innocent belief that this might just very well be possible. It can be found in that age-old question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I once wanted to be an astronaut. But it wasn't a dream. Just a sense of adventure. I also dreamed of being a youth worker, a counselor, a preacher, a radio announcer and a TV host/producer.

I have been ALL of these at times in the past 50 years. I found ways to make all those naive dreams into reality.

I have also dreamed of being a musician. I never let go of that one. Things often got in the way- like earning a living, time commitments, etc. But I never let the trumpet go. Whenever and however I could, I found ways to keep playing, however sporadic or mediocre it was at times.

The subject is dreams and believing in them as possible. This is all about the reality of dreams beginning in naive innocence and growing into existence.

When researching this week's post I came across a blog by Joey Tartell, an Associate Professor of Trumpet and the Director of Undergraduate Studies at Indiana University’s Jacobs School of Music. In a post titled "Belief" he had this to say:

Last week, in a lesson, I told a student that I knew she could play the piece in question great. But the look I got back from her reminded me of the second hardest part of teaching:

There are times where the teacher has more belief in the student than the student has in her/himself....

Which brings me back to belief. It’s a very difficult concept to teach. Try this: picture a player that you admire. Now you need to know that that player was once a beginner. That player was not born playing at a world class level. That player had to learn fundamentals and music just like everyone else. And on the first day of playing did not sound like a professional. So if that player can do it, why not you?

Belief in oneself is at the heart of turning dreams into reality.Belief is based on your dreams and the reality those dreams represent. Belief is based on what you think you are able to accomplish, what your skills are and, just as importantly, what your skills can develop into!

Back when I was talking about the Inner Game of Music I wrote the following:

Self-trust. Do you believe you can do it? Have you worked on being able to do it? Have you set goals, formal or informal to be ready to do it? Have you allowed you and the music to meld into a unique idea?

If so, you can do it.

If not, don't quit, just go back and work some more. But remember, sooner or later we will have to be ready. Do it. You know you can.

That is belief and it is basic to overcoming the inner barriers we place in our own way. Such trust and belief is what we build as we practice, develop helpful and healthy routines, begin to develop our skills into new levels of experience and even expertise. This is where those routines and experiences, the people we hang around with, the story we discover in ourselves and the song we sing come together. In our dreams and the belief we can live them.

Joey Tartell concludes his post:

So here’s what I need for you to do:

• Dream big. Think of what you want to do, not what you’d settle for.
• Realize that someone gets to do that, so it could be you.
• Get working, because it’s unlikely anyone is just going to hand it to you. You need to earn it.

But most importantly, believe in the possibility. Like most things, this becomes a logic problem for me. So follow me here:

• If you don’t believe, your chances of success are virtually zero.
• If you believe, your chances are now higher than zero just based on the acceptance of the possibility of success.

Link- Belief to Dreams

By the way- the Shell Lake Trumpet Camp is less than three months away. Link.

The Tuning Slide- Sky Thinking

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Hard work beats talent 

when talent doesn't work hard.

-Tim Notke

I'm actually not going to write about "hard work" but about what I may need in order to do the "hard work." That happens to be having "goals." In essence goals are the ways we know where we are going. Over the years I have been taught at many workshops that goals have to be SMART:

• Specific – target a specific area for improvement.
• Measurable – quantify or at least suggest an indicator of progress.
• Attainable – assuring that an end can be achieved.
• Realistic – state what results can realistically be achieved, given available resources.
• Time-related – specify when the result(s) can be achieved.
-Wikipedia

Which means that my goal

to be an excellent trumpet player

doesn't really fit the criteria. But

to be able to play at speed the first section (12 measures) of Arban's 1st Characteristic Study by January 15

does fit. (And now that I mention it, might be a goal to work on over the next month!) I have a few goals related to next summer's Big Band and Trumpet Camps, including

to be able to comfortably extend my range to that elusive (to me) high C or D

as well as

to be more comfortable with dealing with changes in songs and do an improvised solo.

That goal of comfort in changes is a little too vague to really fit the criteria. If I have some specific activities and exercises that I am using to get in that direction such a long-range goal can tend to be okay.

The Edge of Unachievable is one way we learned at camp to find goals. Maybe we could use the phrase Sky Thinking. Even though that phrase is often used to mean things that are out of touch with reality, why do our goals have to be that way? How about, instead, may be on the edge of unachievable but not quite out of reach. With hard work informing and forming whatever talent we may have, who says we can't get there?

Hoping your Sky Thinking plans have been

Written Down, and traced back to exactly

what to Act on today.

-Bob Baca

Expanding on Bob Baca's wish for us at the end of camp, there are three things necessary for us to move forward.

• Do your sky thinking. Brainstorm. Take some time to think about where you want to be in a month, six months. I was talking to a young trumpet player the other week who has been working on the Carnival of Venice from Arbans. He has already played it for Solo/Ensemble but hasn't reached where he wants to go with it. He is still pushing his sky thinking.

• Write them down. Start a journal where you note your sky thinking goals and can see your progress. If they aren't written down, they are less likely to happen. The further out you go, of course, the less specific you can be. You also have to be ready to go with whatever life may throw at you. Don't be so rigid that you will break if something gets in your way. Writing them down may also be a way to share them with others- teachers, family, friends, band directors- who can help you.

• Translate into action. Ah, here's the work. I am great at spinning ideas and plans into thin air (the "sky" of sky thinking.) I can easily get side-tracked by those pesky squirrels that are everywhere. I can lose focus and direction if I don't have some form of plan of action. It doesn't have to be fully outlined with footnotes and explanations. I'm not that structured. But I need a flow-chart that keeps me on the ball. I need to have some way of knowing what I need to do today in order to get closer to my goal tomorrow.

Put this all together and I end up with a far better set of goals than I had when I started. I also feel better about what I am doing. I know I am going somewhere that I can regularly test by my own criteria.

Try some of these for yourself if you are having trouble in some area of your life. Where are you going? What do you want for you? Get out of the rut by going off into that almost unachievable place.

[By the way- since I listed some achievable goals above, I promise to let you know how I'm doing.]

The Tuning Slide- No Wandering

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

On those long notes behind the trumpet solo,

if anyone lets his mind wander for a minute

he is dead.

-Don Ellis

Things are moving along nicely. You are in "the groove." You are feeling what the rest of the group is doing. It can be a concert band piece or a trio. You know the music is working its magic on you and you couldn't feel better.

Then for  moment you get distracted. It could be something out of the corner of your eye or a note that didn't land just right from you or someone else. Maybe you just remembered something you forgot to do before you left home. Perhaps a memory of another performance was triggered by a note or just a random thought drifted up from the unconscious.

Suddenly the whole mood and feel changes. You aren't lost- you know right where you are, but the groove is gone. You are not in sync with what's happening.  If you are in a concert band you may get away with it. If you are in the midst of a solo, as great trumpet player Don Ellis so bluntly put it- you're dead.

Now, I know Robert Baca said the same thing about "panic" that I quoted a few weeks ago. The truth is, though, it's true. It took me years to realize the truth of it- and why my performances were often riddled with moments when I "died." No one noticed most of them except perhaps the director and the person sitting next to me. But distraction is for me the worst of.....

Squirrel.

Just kidding. Another way of describing this result of distraction is that obstacles appear when we take our mind away from the sound, the music, or the goal. Obstacles are things that get in the way of doing what we want to or are usually able to do. When I have listened to recordings of some of my solos in the big band or concert band I have often noticed one thing in particular- the sound. Perhaps it is better to say that I notice when my "sound" goes flat or isn't alive. The obstacle is not that I can't keep a clearer sound, the obstacle is maintaining it when I am distracted.

Sometimes I get distracted by the fact that I just did the previous line or phrase better than usual. I take that moment to congratulate myself- and I am distracted. Sometimes I get distracted by paying too much attention to the audience and I get flustered. Sometimes in life I get distracted by "the small stuff" and miss the goals and hopes I have for myself.

Even good things can be distractions, of course. If it takes me away from my goals, it is a distraction.

High-wire artist, acrobat, and daredevil Nik Wallenda of the famous Flying Wallendas has this to say:

I've trained all my life not to be distracted by distractions.
Nik Wallenda

Perhaps the word for what Wallenda does is maintain focus and being mindful. Staying in the moment is essential. Notice that he says he has had to "train" all his life to do it. I do not think it comes naturally. We are easily distracted because that is how our brain is constructed. It is part of the ancient survival system. To learn how to do this takes time and energy.

We learn in the practice room when we work on our pieces so that we know them more than just technically. We learn focus as we become familiar with the rhythms and flow that make the music alive. We learn mindfulness as we take the time to sing the parts out loud to feel the movement. We discover awareness as we listen to ourselves play and how what we are playing fits into the greater picture of the music.

But we also improve our musical focus ability when we take five or ten minutes on a daily basis to meditate or focus on our breathing as a way of bringing ourselves back into the moment. What we do in the hours of the day when we are not playing music can have a huge impact on how we learn to avoid distractions. Our music is not a box we can separate from the rest of our lives. Nor is our life a separate box from the music.

As we learn to integrate who we are and what we do, we find that our music will flow from us.

And we can flow from our music.

Practice mindfulness. Stay in the moment. Pay attention to your breath. Feel the pulse of the music as you play. Remember the sound you want and play it. Don't think about it; don't analyze it. In your practice - just play it so it is yours.

The Tuning Slide - Perception is Reality

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Don't be afraid,
just play the music.
― Charlie Parker

As a counselor, one thing I always have to keep in mind is that when someone sees reality a certain way, they believe it. For them it IS reality. It doesn't matter whether it is true or imagined. Reality is often what we perceive it to be. So when they come into my office or group for therapy I have to start where they are- even if I know it to be false or mis-perceived.

As we pick up our horn to practice or to perform, what we consider reality will govern what we do next.

For years I believed I could not play a solo.

I was right. I couldn't play a solo. I would always mess it up. Even though I kept at it in church, for example, if I had a organ or piano and trumpet duet I never, ever got it right. Never. Something would always go wrong. I would miss a count and therefore come in early or late. I would miss a sharp or flat and play a discordant note. Any one of a number of things happened every time. Most people didn't notice it as significant most of the time, but I did.

"See," I would say to myself, "you can't play a solo."
I was proving the truth of Henry Ford's statement:

Whether you think you can,
or you think you can't--
you're right.
― Henry Ford

Fortunately I loved playing trumpet so much I never allowed it to stop me from trying or from continuing to play in bands. I would avoid solos, even in band. My trumpet soloing above even 55 other musicians would send my heart into high gear, the adrenaline would flow, the fight or flight mechanism would kick in- and I would mess it up.

Over and over the refrain- you can't solo, you can't solo, you can't!

My perception of reality was true- even if it wasn't.

Note that this was not a fear of being in front of people. I have been in public for 50 years preaching, radio DJ, cable TV host. I could stand and talk to hundreds of people and not be nervous. Put a trumpet in my hand and make me solo in front of a handful- forget it. I can't do that. So said my perception of reality.

So what happened, esp. since I wouldn't be writing about it if it hadn't changed?

My first step was to work with a teacher. Just to play in his presence was a big step. He gave me some assignments; I worked on them; I improved.

Second, I was invited to join a brass quintet. When there are only five of you, each part is, in essence, a solo. We had a lot of fun practicing and developing a repertoire. When we finally did play in public performance I did okay, but I still messed up somewhere in each performance. Again, not always noticeable and never as badly as I had before, but I was building confidence in myself- and reality was shifting.

Third, I began playing some first parts in our community band. I found that most of the time I could do that! But that wasn't a solo. Again- perceptions were changing internally.

Fourth, one year ago this week the community band had a concert and with a solo on one number. My teacher was also playing first and he told me that I was playing it. I didn't argue. I figured that if he thought I was capable, maybe I was.

We worked on it in my lessons. I could play it very well- at home or in the lesson. But not at any rehearsal. Never.

I can't play solos!

But I refused to back down. (Stubborn ol' cuss!) The director never suggested I give it to someone else. The night before the concert we had our dress rehearsal and ...

Nope, still not right.

Concert night. The piece comes up. ("Valdres March" by Hanssen) It starts with my trumpet solo. I do okay. A little weak, but not particularly strong, either. Maybe I can solo? Maybe?

We get to the end and approach the D.C. back to the top- and the solo. One last chance. As we move along toward the D.C. I have a conversation with myself.

• This music is supposed to be fun.
• You're not having fun.
• Have fun.
• You can do it.
• Screw it. 
• Play the damn thing!!!

Yep- it worked.

I nailed it. My teacher gave me a thumbs up!

The first solo I played well in almost 50 years.

Reality made a seismic shift and I was now a "real" trumpet player again.

After the first of the year I will be doing some posts on the idea of "The Inner Game" about how we sabotage ourselves with a "Self One" and a "Self Two". That's what this is really about. It starts with our perception of reality. What we believe is what guides us. Reality or not, if we see it that way, that's the way it is. Don't confuse me with facts.

Unless you want to learn to do it differently. I didn't realize that's what I was doing when I started this journey about five or six years ago; when I said yes to the quintet or decided to take lessons again.

So,

• Get out of yourself and seek support and new insights.
• Stretch yourself. Take some chances and risks. All you can do is make a mistake. It's not the end of the world.
• Keep practicing.
• Hear the perception of reality that is keeping you from doing what you can do.
• Then do it.

That's what I did over the years in my life. It works with any task I think I can or can't do. The trumpet isn't any different.

And it is supposed to be fun. Enjoy it!

(BTW: Thanks to Warren, Steve, and Mike for sticking with me through these past years!)