Tuning Slide 4.43- Sing Your Song

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Life is not logic. Life is not philosophy.
Life is a dance, a song, a celebration. It is more like love and less like logic.
-Osho Rajneesh

Agnes DeMille and Martha Graham were two of the greatest dancers/choreographers ever to hit the stage. At one point in her life, Graham sent the following letter to her close friend, Agnes.

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening
that is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you in all time,
this expression is unique.

If you block it,
it will never exist through any other medium
and be lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is;
nor how valuable it is;
nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly,
to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware directly
of the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased.
There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction;
a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
and makes us more alive than the others.
As quoted in “Dance to the Piper and Promenade Home” (1982) by Agnes de Mille and in
The Life and Work of Martha Graham (1991) by Agnes de Mille

What better way to describe what we have been talking about here for the last month: our voice- the unique part of each of us and our song- the unique gift each of us has to offer the world. So what then are the required actions to make this happen?

✓ Patience
This is not something that happens with a snap of the fingers and Voila! there it is. It takes time to discover, uncover, or recover the important pieces of who we are from beneath the things of everyday life. Don’t expect it to happen immediately. Neither, by the way, expect it to happen only once. The song will be revised, improved upon, translated into other ideas, even transposed into other keys. That, too, requires patience.

✓ First Listening
First listening is my description of moving into a practice of mindfulness and meditation in whatever ways fit you and your style. For some of us, it can be in the form of journaling or quiet times to begin to be aware of ourselves, our emotions, our lives, and our potential. This is the inward focus of discovering more about ourselves. At this point in our journey, we are learning how to be still, be quiet, be patient. Too much noise can clearly keep us from hearing our song.

✓ Willingness
Normally we hear honesty as the first of these three (HOW). In finding our song we have to take the brave step of being willing to learn and change. We are not looking for the things about ourselves that need changing in this. Instead, we are looking at WHO we are. We have to be willing to at least explore that step. We get that from taking the action of learning how to listen.

✓ Honesty
What we begin to hear when we are willing may not be what we expected, or we may be resistant to truly answer some of our inner questions. Honesty is essential. Honesty says “Don’t give the answer you hope is true or the one you think others want from you. Don’t hide from the spotlight of quiet contemplation. Be honest with yourself. Keep track of that in your listening journal.

✓ Openness
After honesty, we need to finally be open to continue. We may find that we don’t like what we have discovered, even with our willingness to take the initial steps. We may decide it isn’t time and we don’t want that to be the answer. It doesn’t mean we aren’t willing, we just aren’t ready- open to the full possibilities. That’s okay. Don’t give up. Go back to the first listening and deepen it.

✓ Further Listening
As we move past the willing, honest, and open steps, now we are ready to ask even more important questions. This is when we get into the areas of our lives that give us direction. We find the things that move our soul, the things that connect us with others, the dreams and visions we can develop for ourselves. By this point we are paying more attention in more ways, that is, mindfulness. Perhaps we have learned to listen to the small voices that seem to show us new ideas. Perhaps we have discovered the ways to move beyond Self 1 listen to Self 2 (back to the Inner Game!) with trust. Life can begin to be exciting and frustrating. Patience is even more important now.

✓ Just Doing It
Nike has had it right for years. Just do it! Pick up the horn and play. Stay with the basics as the foundation- never leave them behind. Develop the ear and the eye so we can improve. Be self-aware, not self-critical as we do it, knowing that improvement is just the result of practice. Then keep doing it. If you don’t, you won’t begin to hear your voice in the song that is within you. Your unique song for the world.

✓ Keep Listening
Always listen. Listen to others; find mentors and listen to them; listen to Self 2 telling you that you can do it.

On the website Co-evolve with Kiran, I found the end- and the beginning of this search for the voice and the song. Who you are and what you have to offer.

There is a song that is wanting to be sung. There is masterpiece that is waiting to be painted. There is a life waiting to be lived. There is this song in each of hearts. A yearning which is never quenched. And in some ways we are all learning to listen to that.

The Rose
It’s the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It’s the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It’s the one who won’t be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

Go and share your voice and song. It is what living is all about.

3.27- The Tuning Slide- Connecting the Dots

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
-Seve Jobs

This week’s quote from last summer’s Trumpet Workshop owes its existence to a 2005 commencement address by Apple co-founder, Steve Jobs. In the first story in the address he talks about the journey of life (our theme this month) as connecting dots. But, he points out,

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

We can only see our path of dots looking backward! The resulting summary quote, then, from last summer:

✓ Therefore make good dots

I made some good dots musically this past year.

• I met Doc!
• A dot of inspiration and humility
• I attended the Big Band and Trumpet Workshops at Shell Lake for the third year.
• Dots of learning and staying open to growth.
• I have practiced every single day since March 24 (and only missed 7 days before that this year.)
• Dots of discipline and commitment.
• I am now regularly hitting an E above the staff in my daily routine and almost getting F.
• Dots of patience and improving skill
• I volunteered at the Eau Claire Jazz Festival as a “room host”
• Dots of seeing the great future of jazz music and instruction.
• I took several lessons and spent time with some amazing musicians
• Dots of accepting my need for outside input and support.
• I have learned how to relax while playing a performance.
• Dots of acceptance of Self Two doing its work.
• I published my book, The Tuning Slide, of the first two years of this blog.
• Dots of sharing what I have learned so others, too, may learn.
• I continue this weekly blog!
• Again, dots of discipline and commitment,

As a result of these and other dots, my skill level has increased, my self-confidence has improved, my tone and rhythm have gotten better, and my life continues to be filled with music and more music! These dots also add to the ongoing theme of my life that how I do anything is how I do everything. To be honest there are non-dots from last year. Or perhaps it might be better to say attempted dots that somehow didn’t get connected in this rear-view summary. They represent things for next year (and next week’s post!) But what I know is that because I have made these dots this year, I am moving in a direction that these can be applied to more and more areas of my life.

Dots of:

• Inspiration
• Humility
• Learning and openness to growing
• Patience
• Discipline and commitment
• Volunteering and sharing
• Acceptance

In short it has been a good, and growing year. As I am continually amazed, even old dogs can learn a lot of new tricks! Thanks to all of you who have helped make it the year it was!

What dots did you make last year? How do they connect? How do they lead to your future? See you next week in 2018!

Happy New Year!

3.26- The Tuning Slide- Whenever You Can- Share

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

When we share, we open doors to a new beginning.”
― Paul Bradley Smith

I am in the midst of three months of posts from the closing summary at this past summer’s Shell Lake Trumpet Workshop. I continue this week with the theme of the month- The Journey- and a quote that guides us in what we can and need to be doing on our journeys as musicians and humans:

✓ When given the opportunity to share- do it.

This is not a post of how to be a better musician or how to expand your range to triple High C. It will not give you any new insights into how to practice “The Carnival of Venice” or learn the secrets of “rhythm changes” in jazz improvisation. That quote from trumpet workshop is one of the classics from Mr. Baca and says more than at first meets the eye. Like so many such quotes, it is not about what to appears- it is a statement of the health of ones spirit or soul or life.

Let me repeat it:

✓ When given the opportunity to share- do it.

I was surprised when I started digging into the word that there aren’t a lot of synonyms, words that mean the same. Not that it is a unique word, but it is almost always the main word to describe a number of different things:

Share: To give a portion of (something) to another or others.
Share: To allow someone to use or enjoy something that one possesses.
Share: To use or enjoy something jointly or in turns.
Share: To talk about personal experiences or feelings with others.

Some words can be used in the sense we are talking about it here:

• communicate
• disclose
• impart
• reveal
• let somebody in on

Okay, I’ll quit playing fancy wordsmith here and get right down to it. Put all these together and it boils down to

• reaching out beyond ones own life and situation and helping, supporting, guiding, or giving to others.
• It means being caring and generous with others.
• It means it is more blessed to give than receive.

“What does all this have to do with a trumpet workshop?” one might be tempted to ask. As I said above it doesn’t directly unlock anything about the mechanics or process of playing the trumpet or any instrument.

Yes, I waffled there, didn’t I? I added the word “directly” to what it doesn’t do. So let me ask a couple of questions:

What good would a musician be if they weren’t willing to “share” their music and gifts with others? They would be a lone person playing notes in an empty room. Would they get anywhere in their musicianship? What kind of person does that tell us they are?

Such music would be self-centered and most likely even lifeless. Such a person who only wanted to play their music in a lonely room would perhaps be impressed by their own ability, but isn’t music meant to share? Of course we need to be able to enjoy our music ourselves, but we need to be performers- and that means to share what we have with others. We want them to enjoy it with us, don’t we?

I know there may be those who for various physical or other reasons may not be able to take their music and share it. I am not talking about those circumstances. I have a hunch that those persons will benefit from others sharing with them!

Which brings me to the real point of all this- how we do anything is how we do everything. If we become a sharing person- reaching out to others, not hoarding or being selfish- it will have an impact on our hearts and lives. Then, without a doubt, it will have an impact on our musicianship. There will be greater life in the music because there will be greater life in you.

Be a person who shares.

• Communicate with others in a way to uplift and give them hope.
• Disclose who you are in your heart to help others.
• Impart whatever wisdom and insight you have been given so that others can learn from it.
• Reveal the hopes and dreams, secrets and gifts of your life and others will share in your blessings.
• Let others in on the joys and hopes you have discovered in music, in reading, in life.

Have a great holiday season:
Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa
May joy, hope, and peace be yours!

3.25- The Tuning Slide- The Unexpected

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.
— J. R. R. Tolkein

This month’s theme is “The Journey” of being a trumpet player, musician, and human being. Last week we talked about that all important “first step” that gets us moving. This week we continue with two quotes from the board at the end of Trumpet Workshop this past summer:

✓ Be comfortable being uncomfortable [Expect the unexpected]
✓ Always have a relaxed breath. Warm, moist air

Don’t worry, they are not as disconnected as they seem. They are two more essential aspects of the journey you are on. As Bilbo used to say any journey is a dangerous business. When we truly set out on a new journey of any kind- outer or inner- we do not know what’s ahead or where it will take us. We plan and practice, gather resources and support. We step out the door and we meet a “black swan.”

What? You’ve never seen a black swan? Here’s Wikipedia talking about it. Black swan

is a metaphor that describes an event that comes as a surprise, has a major effect, and is often inappropriately rationalized after the fact with the benefit of hindsight. The term is based on an ancient saying which presumed black swans did not exist, but the saying was rewritten after black swans were discovered in the wild.

The theory was developed by Nassim Nicholas Taleb to explain:

• The disproportionate role of high-profile, hard-to-predict, and rare events that are beyond the realm of normal expectations in history, science, finance, and technology.
• The non-computability of the probability of the consequential rare events using scientific methods (owing to the very nature of small probabilities).
• The psychological biases that blind people, both individually and collectively, to uncertainty and to a rare event's massive role in historical affairs.

In other words, black swans are the next-to-impossible-to-predict events that have HUGE impacts on life. Looking back we can rationalize them, but that never helps us predict what the next “black swan” event might be in our lives. Whether it is the 9/11 attacks, the wildfires in California, or Superstorm Sandy, the BIG events that have the greatest impact on people’s lives are often unforeseen and unpredictable. They happen and change the world. We will often look back and say “we should have known that!” but in reality if we could have we would have.

We can respond to this situation in different ways in our lives. First, we can live in terror and fear of the next black swan event. That will always be an existential, unconnected, free-floating fear that can never be pinned down or done away with. By definition we can’t know what the next big event will be. To live in that constant state of uncertainty is not any way to live.

Second, we can live with a carefree, not-give-a-crap attitude, rushing headlong into whatever is ahead. Life is a gamble for all of us. You can get the most toys, but in the end we all die. This may have a lot of adrenaline-pumping action; it may move us to do some brave and courageous or dumb and dangerous things. The result may very well be a toss-up.

Third, we can combine the two with that wonderful first quote and description. If you always expect everything to go smoothly and the way you want things to go, you will be disappointed. In spite of things like the “law of attraction” and certain ways some of us pray at times, we don’t always get what we want. That will make us uncomfortable! Can I put up with discomfort? Do I see discomfort as an enemy or a sign of what needs to be done?

I have talked a number of times about the process I continually go through as a learning, growing musician. I reach a point- usually quite unexpected- when things don’t just feel right. I may have a lousy performance where even that good old 2nd line G comes out like mud. Or I find my endurance slipping for no apparent reason. Maybe there’s a new piece that doesn’t look that hard that just doesn’t want to fall under my fingers.

I become quite uncomfortable at those times. Have I reached the end of my line? Is this as good as it gets? Was I being too comfortable with where I was and not expanding the envelope? I can easily be tempted at that point to cut back, even give in. I rationalize- well, after all, I am nearly 70 years old. I can’t expect to continue to improve like I would if I were 30 or 40. Then the picture of me with Doc Severinsen pops up on my phone and I give that idea up.

Is it okay to be uncomfortable? Sure it is. Usually it means I am at a turning or growing point. I look for adjustments I can make- perhaps work on some different exercises in my daily routine or pull back on some of my intensity to do everything right away. If I am expecting the unexpected, it shouldn’t bring me to a halt. If I have learned anything in these past 3 years of expanded trumpet playing and growth in musicianship, it is that the journey is real and is never in a straight line!

Which brings me to the second quote above about relaxed breath and warm moist air. Yes, that is how we are to play our horns. Doc calls it a balance between tension on the side muscles and relaxed on the center. If every time I pick up the horn I am tense and dry, nothing good will come out. Relax. Breathe calmly. As Bill Bergren rightly describes it- “Say ‘M’ and then breathe gently like cooling a cup of coffee.” How do we learn how to do that if we are always tense.

In a recent concert we were playing the beautiful, slow piece “Ashokan Farewell.” I realized in one of the rehearsals that I was tensed up so as not to over-blow or lose any tone by playing too loudly. Self Two caught that Self One was uptight. Self Two simply said, “I can handle this. I do it all the time in the practice room.” Self Two was right, of course. I am never tense like that in my practicing. I may lose endurance, etc. but it is not usually due to tenseness. That comes when I am afraid of—(among other things) the unexpected.

Take that relaxed, warming breath. Put the trumpet to the lips- and play.

Live with awareness of the unexpected- not in fear of what might happen but in order to go with it when it happens. Live with the breath- in and out in a simple rhythm. (Remember rhythm? It’s one of the foundations of all music.) Stay warm, stay relaxed, stay quietly focused. When we learn how to do that in our practice room, we will move closer to being able to do it in performance. When we can do it in performance, we can relax some more and learn how to do that when we are doing other things.

It is one of the secrets of our life’s journey. Go with it, as Bilbo used to say, “you don’t know where you might be swept off to.”