Tuning Slide # 5.21- Taking Stock and Making Dots

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.
— Steve Jobs

It is that time again- the end of one year and the beginning of another. Like the news shows and just about everywhere else, that means it is time to do your own “Year in Review.” For me, that means looking at what Steve Jobs called “the dots” of my past year. I do that, not to get all nostalgic over what happened last year, but to take a look at what my direction has been and to see if I need to do something about it. We can only see our path of dots looking backward!

A few years ago when doing this I came up with a number of categories of “dots” that I have found to be a good starting point. They were dots of:

• Inspiration
⁃ Listen to other musicians, attend live music concerts and events, read about some of the great musicians and how they got that way.
⁃ What has inspired me in the past year and how have I grown from it?

• Humility
⁃ Humility is several things. It is
⁃ Being teachable
⁃ Being honest about one’s abilities and shortcomings
⁃ It builds on what has inspired me this year and given me some idea of the direction

• Learning and openness to growing
⁃ How did I put humility’s teachableness to work in my music?
⁃ Was I as open to learning as I like to think I am and what did I do to show it?

• Patience
⁃ Did I want to be as good as Doc in two short, easy steps or was I willing to take each step as it comes?
⁃ When I hit a plateau in my playing did I get discouraged and want to be just satisfied with where I was instead of moving on through?

• Discipline and commitment
⁃ Did I take the time to take the steps necessary to keep moving in the right direction?
⁃ How successful was I at improving my skills through regular, intentional practice?

• Volunteering and sharing
⁃ Did I keep it to myself or did I live and share what I have discovered?

• Acceptance
⁃ Acceptance is what comes from living “mindfulness.” Jon Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as:
⁃ awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally… in the service of self-understanding and wisdom.
⁃ When I am short on acceptance (and therefore mindfulness) I find myself unhappy and get upset that the world is not doing what I want the world to do!

At the Shell Lake Trumpet Workshop, the talk of dots from above led to a logical conclusion. Since we can only know from looking back at the direction our dots take us, we need to make sure that as we move ahead we are conscious of the dots we are making:

✓ Therefore make good dots

This is where we would have historically mentioned the old tradition of New Year’s Resolutions. Forget it! We never manage to follow them. Most people who are regulars at a gym or fitness facility, for example, do NOT look forward to January. The gym gets overcrowded for these few weeks with all the fitness "enthusiasts" who have made resolutions. Many of them are gone before the Super Bowl. (I would love to be proven wrong on this some year!)

Instead, look at your dots from last year and make notes to yourself about which dots were helpful and healthy and which ones didn’t get the energy they needed. Take an inventory of yourself for 2019 and see what direction you are moving as you begin 2020. Then figure out how to do it differently, more efficiently, or more intentionally. This is not a series of “resolutions” but rather action steps toward a goal. It is planning on making good dots.

For me one of those dots that always needs awareness is practice. Yes, I practice every day. Yes, I have a basic routine that keeps me mostly focused. But I can always use tools to keep on track. One thing I found recently that I will use in the new year is seeing practice as a spiral. Dr. Gabriela Mayer of the CIT Cork School of Music in Cork, Ireland describes this spiral in an article called “Reflective Practice.” According to the article:

Visualizing a spiral helps students focus on the following interlinking key areas during practice. The students need to learn to help themselves during their private practice time between lessons. The ‘practice spiral’ is an image describing an ongoing process which starts with clear intention, leading to execution, reflection, calibration and reinforcement.

In other words, practice is not a straight line. It is rather a continual cycle of a number of things that keep us improving. Some sample questions from the article associated with each key area are:

◆ Intention: What would you like to achieve? Define specific task and ways to tackle it. The clearer the intention is defined, the better the practice process will be.
◆ Execution: Practice must involve active listening. Be prepared to evaluate what you just did. What traps did you fall into and how could you be ready sooner in order to avoid them?
◆ Reflection: Following evaluation, articulate what elements you want to consolidate and what you want to change. Allow more space between repetitions. Are you clear about you new objectives and do they represent small enough goals?
◆ Varied Repetition: play again with new objectives
◆ Consolidation: Once a desired execution has been reached, focused repetition forms a vital component in retention. (Link)

Now repeat. The practice spiral provides a basic structure for an effective practice regime.

As I look to the new year it looks like this is an area I can continue to build on. I will see my growth as a spiral of planning to action to reflection to repetition to make it part of my music. One specific will be moving into more intentional areas of improvisation. I have given that a lot of work over the years building a foundation that is now ready to be built upon. Using the above steps I will see what direction I can plan on taking my dots for this year.

I hope your 2019 was a good one for you musically and that 2020 will be even better. Keep moving!

4.20- Tuning Slide: Confidence, Ego, and Humility

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

If you got a trumpet, get on your feet, brother, and blow it!
— Nick Cave (punk-rock musician)

That’s a call to confidence if I ever heard one. Barry Green in the book Mastery of Music that we have been looking at over these months lists the eighth and ninth pathways to mastery this way:

# 8: Confidence: From Bravura to Integrity (Trumpet)
# 9: Ego and Humility: From Fame to Artistry (Opera, Jazz, and Theater Singers)

What really is confidence? Green quotes a definition this way:

An accepted and unheralded evidence within a person that gives a person the unconscious knowledge that he/she is able to produce outstanding results in his/her chosen career under almost any circumstances. Full technical control is a must: this “evidence to oneself” provided by preparation and determination is what fosters confidence and it becomes stronger with experience.

He then lists some of the ways we develop confidence. Among them are:

◦ Preparation by Overpreparing
We are back at practice, practice, practice. If we think we can escape from that or make it optional because of how far we have advanced, forget it. Right now. Some truly advance players may get by with a daily “warm-up.” But that “warm up” will always include scales, chromatics, long tones, and all the basics. And it will usually be at least two to three hours a day. So practice is where confidence must start, not on some self-interpreted view of how good we are. This also includes knowing more than just what we are doing. Sometimes that means studying the music, reading about it, listening to recordings in order to find out where and how your part fits in. It’s all in the over preparing! As Green puts it, we are not just a “right-note” playing machine. We are making music.

◦ State Your Case with Passion and Meaning
Because of the over preparation, one does move beyond just playing the right notes. One also beings the excitement, the passion, the meaning of the music to life. My interpretation of that will be different from yours. If we are in a group together, we learn to state our understanding in relationship to the other musicians. That brings in the ability to listen and learn.

◦ Confidence is a Journey of Learning
Learning is what confidence opens us up to do. Paying attention in practice, rehearsal, and performance opens us to know what we need to do to move forward. Since we have over prepared, we have moved beyond “right-notes” to expressing ourselves. But that doesn’t always work. We get lost, make a mistake, get stuck. So learn from it. The next time, when we get it the way we want it, our confidence will be back.

◦ Stay Within Your Limits, (then) Don’t Think, Just Play
Needless to say, Green, as one of the teachers of the Inner Game, brings us around to allowing Self 2 to be in charge. Thinking is Self 1. By this time we have learned (Self 1) that we can do what we want to do. We then trust ourselves (Self 2) to do it. If we are honest about what we can do at this moment, we will know what is ready for public performance and what isn’t there yet. Staying within limits is NOT about only playing what you used to be able to play, it is about not moving on until Self 1 can shut up and let Self 2 move on.

How do we maintain and continue to build confidence? If we only rest on what we did last time, we will not grow as a musician nor develop confidence to do more than we did last time. Here are some of the ways Green mentions to help confidence grow:

◦ Focus on the Music, Not on What People Think of You
◦ Focus on What You Have Accomplished and What You Can Do
◦ Enjoy Your Anxieties- You are Not Alone
This last one can be tough. This may be where many give up, lose confidence, stop growing. I am not the first player to have flubbed playing Taps on Memorial Day (an old story.) But when I allowed that to become m identity as a solo trumpet player, my anxieties became too great and I couldn’t move beyond them. We grow in confidence when we we are honest with ourselves and move on.

Look, man, all I am is a trumpet player.
— Miles Davis

Confidence can build the image that trumpet players have been accused of. Green calls that “bravura,” the swagger and overt confidence we present even when we don’t have it. Trumpet players are not known for their quietness and humility. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! If anything it is a call to maintain our proper place in the band. That leads to humility. Humility, of course, can have a couple definitions. One is humility means that we are willing to be teachable. A second is to have a proper knowledge of our strengths and weaknesses. Confidence, built on humility is powerful. It will ring out with the sound of, well, trumpets.

It takes a healthy ego to become confident enough to be humble. What a seemingly paradoxical statement that is! Low self-esteem does not build confidence. Low self-esteem presents our weaknesses and uncertainties and set in stone. “Poor me, that’s just the way I am.” Healthy ego allows us to be truly humble. Oh, by the way, I am not sure we can work on becoming humble. “Look how hard I’ve worked and how successful I have become at being humble!” Not!

I have put these two pathways to mastery together because I believe that when one reaches the pathway of confidence the logical next step is moving away from negative ego to true humility. One cannot, or better not, become so enamored of one’s own sound on the instrument, especially trumpet, that we think we are far and above others. THAT is not confidence. That is unhealthy ego. But neither should the musician, especially the trumpet playing musician, be so shy as to hold back when they need to stand up and blow! Humility does not mean taking a back seat or being reserved when the situation calls for leadership. Musical leadership, whether one is a lead trumpet player or third clarinet, is found in the attentiveness to the music, the focus on one’s sound, and the ability to play well with others.

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision.
You can't blow an uncertain trumpet.
—Theodore Hesburgh

Tuning Slide 4.5- The Power of Recording

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
— Winston Churchill

In spite of the fact that I am often an early adopter in finding and using new technology (a geek, in other words), I have not been great at utilizing recording myself to improve my sound and musicianship. Yes, I have always agreed that it is a good idea, but, well, you know, sometimes I don’t do what I know is a good idea. I think, perhaps, that I was actually afraid to truly listen to a recording of myself for fear of what I might hear.

Sure, I have heard recordings of myself playing as part of a band, which may be where the fear actually came from in the first place. It was a number of years ago that I first did a recording of our big band and a number where I had the solo. I was excited about what it sounded like. I thought I did well. I downloaded the video onto the computer and hit play.

Ouch! There was no tone; the sound had no energy and barely felt like it was moving; it felt flat- in all dimensions of the meaning of that word. I was embarrassed for myself and felt like I should apologize to the audience and my colleagues in the band for what I sounded like.

This was before my first experience at Shell Lake Arts Center and that initial session with Bob Baca. At that time he introduced me to a number of the ideas of Bill Adam to be used in practice. I learned about blowing the sound through the notes and not at them; I learned about centering the sound; I learned about ways to actually be successful at practice. I put them into effect and, but a few months later I heard another recording of myself in the quintet and I had a whole new sound. I played it for Mr. Baca and he smiled!

I have recorded our quintet a number of times but never to focus on myself alone. I was listening for the sound of the group, how we fit together, how our balance and tone and dynamics complemented each other. I wasn’t upset about what I could hear in myself. But it wasn’t my goal.

Yet every year at trumpet camp I heard people say we should record ourselves. I thought about it and did a couple things using recordings of myself to play duet parts with myself. But, again, I wasn’t listening to me, just the notes.

I believe I was unconsciously afraid to hear what I might truly sound like. While the quote from Winston Churchill above wasn’t about listening to ourselves playing music, it still applies. If I am willing to be honest with myself and listen critically, it will take courage. Until I realized I needed to do that, I hesitated. Well at this year’s Shell Lake trumpet workshop, one of the leaders (Thanks, Quentin!) talked about how he recorded himself every night when he was on a year-long national musical tour. Then he would listen and make notes, critically, in order to improve. I realized what that could do and set my mind to do it.

Fortunately the big band had two gigs right after camp. I hadn’t asked Quentin how he did it, but I figured out a method. I set my iPhone on a stand right next to my music stand. In essence I was playing into the mike on the phone while still getting the overall sound of the band. The first gig’s recording was disappointing for a number of reasons beyond my control. So I erased it and set it up at the next gig. This one worked. There I was, clear as day; there was the band behind me doing its thing. Now I had to listen critically.

I have been told that the best way to give critical feedback is to give the good first as the foundation on which to build. I did that. I didn’t cringe at my sound like I did in that earlier recording five or six years ago. I liked the general tenor of my sound. I felt I was following well and that there was real energy in what I was playing. Improvement! Hearing those things first helped strengthen me for now listening for what wasn’t as positive or as musical as it could. Knowing that listening could give me clues to what I needed to work on next, I listened again.

That, too, worked. I could hear the things I was clearly deficient at. I could also hear things about my playing that surprised me. It is important when preparing to listen to yourself play from a recording that you realize that while playing you never hear yourself the way others do. We are normally hearing ourselves from behind the horn. Believe it or not that can often be louder than it truly is. One reason is that we are often hearing the sound slightly reflected off our music stand. More to the point, we are “hearing” sounds that no one else can hear- the vibrations of the horn against our lips and hear, flowing through the bones and skin of our head and face and into the inner ear without going through the air. It is the same way listening to a recording of our voice. It never sounds to us like us. So don’t be surprised at the sound you hear. It will probably have less bass and different overtones than you are used to hearing in yourself! You will also not hear yourself in balance with the rest of the band. The mike is at your stand and your sound will be predominant. If you want to hear how you blend with the rest of the band you need to put the mike out front of the whole group. But that’s not the purpose of this recording. I wanted to hear my sound.

You will hear a lot of other things. You will hear strong or weak articulations. You will hear changes in tone and color that you didn’t know were there. You will discover that things were not as alive (or more alive) than you wanted. You will hear every mistake, wrong note, slipped note, flub and frustrating fingering. You will hear how your sound generally blends with the sound of the group. Is your tone brighter or darker? Is your articulation the same as the rest of the section? Am I playing with the same musicality as my fellow musicians?

I realized that it was the real reason I was doing this. My goal was not to pat myself on the back and pin a first place medal on my shirt. I wanted- I needed- to hear this since I don’t normally hear that when I am behind the horn.

So have courage. We have a tool that musicians did not have until recently- a relatively simple and available method for recording ourselves. The simple voice memo on iPhone is all you need. The greatest part of the tool is the willingness to be honest with myself about what I sound like. I am working on it already. It seems to be working- but I won’t know for sure until I have the courage to do another recording.

(P.S. Next week I will relate this to life and even talk about what I hear about my playing and what I am doing about it.)

Good Friday:

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
-Henry David Thoreau




In that time when we understand ourselves, we also begin to know what we need and who we truly are.  Perhaps in our journey it is when we humbly accept ourselves that we can turn to a power greater than ourselves to lead and guide us.

As I stand at the Cross on another Good Friday, I learn of the heights and depths of God's love.

It is a time of darkness. The Lenten journey must bring us to face and accept this darkness. Without Good Friday there is no Easter.

But, as a pastor said on Thursday evening, because Jesus has gone there it is now a "luminous darkness. And in that, we will meet God."

3.32- The Tuning Slide

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

The heavens, whose aspect makes our minds as still
As they themselves appear to be,
Innumerable voices fill
With everlasting harmony;
The towering headlands, crowned with mist,
Their feet among the billows, know
That Ocean is a mighty harmonist;
Thy pinions, universal Air,
Ever waving to and fro,
Are delegates of harmony, and bear
Strains that support the Seasons in their round…
-William Wordsworth, On the Power of Sound

One of the joys of our winter stay on the Gulf Coast in Alabama is the ability to practice on the balcony overlooking the beach and water. I put my silent mute in and do my daily routine whenever it is warm and sunny enough, which is at least 75% of my time there. One day recently I finished my 30-40 minutes of playing and then sat and meditated for another 15-20 minutes. The result was the following reflection on both the practice and how music itself pulls us in and we become part of something greater than any one of us could ever be.

The surf is the constant background. It is a rhythm without a pattern, or better yet, a rhythm and pattern combining into breath. Its constancy is a heartbeat, a watery drum keeping all in motion. There are days it is as soft as a baby’s sleeping breath. This is, after all the Gulf of Mexico, not the expansive ocean. Even at fifty yards it can easily be overpowered by my muted horn.

But it is never lost. It is a pianissimo of my inner heartbeat, a drum cadence. It allows, even invites, movement. My long tones follow in order. They fall in sync with the surf. Then I play scales and it becomes a counterpoint. Play the chromatics too fast and I can lose the rhythm, the pattern under it all.

Slow down, the surf calls.
Follow me, the rhythm beckons.

In my time frame the surf is infinite, perpetual. Any time of day or night I can walk out on the balcony and it will be there. When it isn’t, life itself will have come to an end. This surf, formed by the world-wide waters, has been the breeding source of life itself. It shapes and reshapes the shorelines, constantly changing and challenging what even human grandiosity thinks is permanent. It will destroy and remold what we- and it- have built.

Then come the louder days. Gale force winds whip the tops off large swells. Though it is still the Gulf, its power is beyond what we can know. Most such days I am forced back inside, unable to compete in sound or comfort to the surf. In between the extremes, though, after a storm has moved through, shifted the winds, and roiled the surf, I can take the routine back to the balcony. Now the sound and pattern of my playing shifts. I get a little more aggressive, a little more stubborn in my insistence that I be heard, even by me.

I never win, humbling for a trumpet player to admit. Perhaps if I removed the mute my sound would carry a little further but I don’t want to disturb neighbors- or the surf itself. I must be in tune and time with the surf. Chromatics, Clarke #1, have to fall into the proper places, not just the silence but the ebb and flow of sound. The exercise on thirds must find the note solid in the right place of the surf’s rhythm. Amazing how many things it takes to make music. But with time and experience they do fall into an intuitive second nature. Harmony.

At times I realize I am also hearing and seeing other parts merging in this chamber composition. The birds in the tree below, the silent hopping of the sparrows on the edge of the balcony, the gulls laughing, pelicans soaring and diving. Whom am I to intrude, to insist on the importance of my part over theirs? That’s the harmony. I am not here to force my will on that of the world. I must not or the music will be more than dissonant, it will be destructive.

In between exercises and runs I pause. One is to rest as much as one plays, is the old adage. Here, on the balcony, that is a pleasure. As I stop the surf remains. It brings a moment of refreshment before I pick up the horn again. The others instruments continue their own song, unaware that I am listening. The call and chatter of the gulls, Laughing Gulls, in fact, challenging my hubris that I of all creatures can think I can accompany the greater symphony. Or they just do what they are supposed to do simply because their melody is needed to fill out the sound.

I take an extra 15 minutes at the end of the routine to just improvise over different chords, working on my favorite tunes I want to play at jams- Amazing Grace, This Land is Your Land, and Horace Silver’s The Preacher. They are now my contributions to uniqueness, more than just routine, foundation, they are different every time, influenced I am sure by the mood of the Gulf and the melody playing around me.

I am both humbled (kept in my proper place)
And empowered (given the direction to do what I can do)
By these practice times on the balcony.

• Humbled at how little power I truly have;
• Humbled that I am allowed to accompany such beauty;
• Humbled that the surf and sand, birds and beach could care less!

Yet,

• Empowered because I, too, am part of this symphony simply by being here in this moment;
• Empowered to play and seek ongoing harmony with nature’s music;
• Empowered by the inner and outer beats of the Eternal Heart.

Music is a gift of God!

Spirituality as Resistance: Proclamation

Epiphany Sunday

January 7, 2018

Proclamation as Resistance

Preaching is effective as long as the preacher expects something to happen-

not because of the sermon, not even because of the preacher,

but because of God.

— John Hines

I come to the end of this Advent to Epiphany series of Spirituality as Resistance. There were the four weeks of Advent:

• Hope
• Love
• Joy
• Peace

Then the Christmas season:

• Humility
• Light in the darkness
• Sacrifice
• Sacrament

Yesterday, Epiphany was

• Revelation

As a result of all of that, these nine themes have been building on each other. They interweave

• who we are with
• who God is and then on to
• who God wants us to be.

We ask the final question of this series:

What good is all that hope and love, light and revelation if we don’t with humility and peace take the sacrifice and joy and

• Proclaim

It?

Easy for me to say. I am an independent, retired preacher who proclaims here, on a lonely blog that most days probably gets fewer readers than I ever had sitting in the pews when I was preaching. I am not dependent on you or any of my readers for my salary. I can say pretty much what I want, filtered through my own bias and spirituality. If you don’t agree with me you can leave a comment, or just not come back to see what else I have to say.

So I go ahead and proclaim my resistance. When I was still in the pulpit I would often temper what I was going to say so as not to offend those of different opinion. I might not speak out against the oppression or non-Christian stands of people in power or government. Not only did they pay my salary, they were also my friends. Therefore I had to find ways to say what I wanted to say that would not push friends away or even turn them into adversaries. What good would that do? It was a fine line and a tightrope down the center of a busy thoroughfare, to mix all kinds of metaphors.

Perhaps I didn’t always trust that God would work as fully as I wanted things to happen. Perhaps I wanted to make sure that I would be around to preach for longer than just that one sermon. But when not in the pulpit- hence when it could be a conversation and not just me speaking- we could have discussions on disagreements. I could find ways to proclaim what I felt- and feel- was and is the Good News when sitting face to face with these friends and agree to disagree while still respecting each other. Brene Brown in her latest book, Braving the Wilderness, talks about getting close to people as a way of overcoming division. She points out that most of us can name people who have very different opinions from ours with whom we can maintain friendships. Many of us know that all __________ are wrong, can’t be trusted and are not worth my time, except for _____________ who is my friend. (Fill in the blanks. It goes in all directions.)

The past year has severely tested those opportunities for many of us. Polarized opinions shut off debate as well as discussion. Proclamation becomes “my way or the highway.” I did some of the dialogue at times with mixed results. It was tiring, even spiritually draining. Even moderate statements could raise tensions on both sides. But it is in maintaining the possibility of discussion and dialogue that we may be proclaiming our views in the clearest way possible. When we say that we need to have a discussion and not a diatribe, we proclaim our personal values of acceptance of the others. We make a clear statement of who we are when we can embrace our friends with differing ideas even when they may be proclaiming something entirely difficult to hear.

There is always something about proclaiming love in what we do and who we are.

That, after all, IS what we say God did in Jesus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What next? I am regrouping for Lent at this point. It’s not that far away- just 38 days. Ash Wednesday is on Valentine’s Day this year. (What a great metaphor to begin the season of reflection!) Over the past six weeks I have been working through a couple of spiritual readings, Falling Upward by Richard Rohr and some of the writings of Thomas Merton. They highlight the inward journey I have found myself traveling in the past year or so. I may take Rohr’s book and do some riffing in good jazz style on what that means in this day and age, building on what I have been writing about since the Dark Night of the Soul posts last year. In any case, keep watch for what’s next. Let me know what you think. Have a wonderful month until Lent.

Spirituality as Resistance: Revelation

Epiphany

January 6, 2018

Revelation as Resistance

Unclench your fists

Hold out your hands.

Take mine.

Let us hold each other.

Thus is his Glory Manifest.

-Epiphany, Madeleine L’Engle

An epiphany is

• a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something.
• an intuitive grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking.
• an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure.
  
  (Merriam-Webster)

• For the essential nature or meaning of something to be revealed is revolutionary and changes everything.
• To get an intuitive grasp of reality through some simple, yet striking event, pushes back against the status quo.
• To experience a truth that lights up our lives and the world empowers us to stand up and resist what needs to be challenged.

But what is it that is revealed on this day? What is so striking about today that it should make the state quo defenders tremble? What is the truth that empowers us to resist?

We answer this in the Christian year as the story of the day the Wise Men arrive. While popular culture has combined that with the Christmas Eve narrative, they stand far apart. Mary and Joseph have Jesus in a house now. The angels now bring warning to the travelers instead of tidings of joy. They participate in God’s conspiracy against the government of Herod- they sneak away by another route. That story is a clear instance of resistance and rebellion. It is not to turn Herod into a “believer” or make Judea or Rome a “Christian” place.

The days of Christmas have come to an end. It is Epiphany. All has been revealed, at least for now. Suddenly it is all clear- kind of.

And what is that we now know either more deeply or for a first time or in an entirely new way?

• The essential nature is not power, but humility and poverty and love.
• Reality is the birth of a baby being worshipped by the rich and powerful foreigners under the very nose of the King.
• The truth is that God’s ways are not our ways since none of this makes any sense in the work and ways of this world’s powers.

In such times and with such knowledge Madeleine L’Engel’s words prod and push us into a different understanding.

• The clenched fist of hatred and discrimination is not what God wants, unless it is seen in the helplessness of an infant reaching for love.
• The ways of God are not the actions of racism or greed but rather the open hand reaching to grab the fist of the powerless and downtrodden.
• The light of God illuminating us is knowing that none of us is a stranger to God who knows us more fully than we can ever begin to describe.
• The empowerment found in the revealing of God among us allows us to stand together, holding each other tight with hope.

In that is the glory of God made visible.

Spirituality as Resistance: Sacrament

New Year’s Day

January 1, 2018

Sacrament as Resistance

God is always coming to you in 

the Sacrament of the Present Moment.

Meet and receive Him there with gratitude in that sacrament.

— Evelyn Underhill

When I outlined these reflections for Advent to Epiphany I wasn’t sure what to say on New Year’s Day. Sure, I could ramble about new beginnings, learning from the past and moving on, working with a clean slate, making resolutions, keeping (!) resolutions, etc. None of it felt right so I kept it open until about 10 days ago when I came across the quote above from one of the great spiritual writers of the 20th Century, Evelyn Underhill. Suddenly the talk of past and future paled in comparison to the “Present Moment.” But it is not just any present moment, it is THIS Present Moment when we have the opportunity to welcome God into our lives- and our lives into God’s presence.

This is a sacrament:

• a visible sign of an inward grace,
• a visible symbol of the reality of God, as well as a means by which God enacts his grace,
• Sacraments signify God's grace in a way that is outwardly observable to the participant.

Jean Pierre de Caussade introduced the idea of the Sacrament of the Present Moment in the late 17th, early 18th Century. It is in abandonment to the Divine Providence that union with God becomes real. It is when grace grows within us. It wasn't published for many years after his death, but has come to be a classic of spiritual guidance.

Notice that grace is a common theme here! When God is present, so is God’s grace. The sacrament of the Present Moment opens that possibility no matter where we are.

Talk about rebellion and resistance to the ways of he world!

• Abandonment? Forget it. Unless you are talking about blindly obeying the words and dictates of the nation state, of course!

• Grace? A free, unearned gift? Not for me. I’m no freeloader- even on God. I’ll earn my way, thank you!

Today is not a day, then, to look back in pain or nostalgia. It is better a time to remember when God’s grace flowed into my life in the past year; or maybe the times that grace pushed me out of the door of my own self-imposed box and helped others find grace. It is also a time to inventory the times when I closed the door and windows of my spiritual house so that I wouldn’t be disturbed by the cries from those in pain or terror, need or healing. Then it becomes a time of confession and making amends.

Today is neither a time to look ahead in some dim sense of a nebulous hope, filled with resolutions of what I want to do in the next 12 months. Instead maybe it is a day to just welcome the presence of grace into my life; to abandon me soul into God’s presence and seek the power to live it- today- so that I can be stronger tomorrow.

All sacraments are rebellious; all sacraments challenge the powers that be. Even in my tradition of two sacraments, they cover the gamut of life with grace.

At baptism:

• Therefore live! Yet, not you, but Christ live in you. And the life you live, live by faith in the Son of God who gave himself for you.

At the Eucharist:

• As often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death, until he comes!

Today:

• The present moment holds infinite riches beyond your wildest dreams but you will only enjoy them to the extent of your faith and love. The more a soul loves, the more it longs, the more it hopes, the more it finds. The will of God is manifest in each moment, an immense ocean which the heart only fathoms in so far as it overflows with faith, trust, and love.
  -Jean Pierre de Caussade

That truly makes for a Happy New Year as well as the promise of each new day. Resist the nostalgia of “the good old days” and the promise of some time when all will be “great again.” It is today, as each day, that the grace of God is alive.

Spirituality as Resistance: Sacrifice

The Sunday after Christmas
December 31, 2017
Sacrifice as Resistance

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the church calendar the days after Christmas are not filled with peace and joy. First, on the 26th was St. Stephen’s Day. He was the first martyr as told in Acts, chapter 7. He was quizzed, tried, and killed for preaching and believing. Then, two days later on the 28th was Holy Innocents, the remembrance of Herod ordering the slaughter of all male children under two in order to stop this new King of the Jews. (Matthew 2: 13-18). Maybe that’s why the days after Christmas find so few people in church? Maybe they don’t want to lose the pink cloud joy and warm fuzzies of the season. But this is what happens when you follow the church calendar- you are reminded of the world into which this Prince of Peace was born. The light in the darkness that we celebrated on Monday did not suddenly and miraculously turn things around.

Two thousand years later we continue to struggle with that as well. There are innocents being killed today. Columbine, Sandy Hook, Las Vegas are just new names and places added to the seemingly never ending list while many even refuse to debate ways to deal with it. Racism and poverty prevent many from discovering their hopes and dreams. Terrorists of all kinds aim at non-combatants since that is the way to undermine the will of those they oppose. In many places around the world those who speak out for change or justice are shouted down, demeaned, and from time to time, killed. While in many ways we are living in a better world than could have been dreamed of 2000 years ago, much of it is still in need of progress and hope.

But after Christmas we are no longer just a people of hope, who have been loved, found peace, and are filled with joy. We now become the light in the darkness. That is what it means to be a follower of the ways of God. We are not to just sit and let the blessings flow onto us. We have received the light; now we live the light. We would like to think that all we have to do is wait and pray and it will happen. We would like to believe that if we do the right (or wrong!) things that God will intervene and make it happen. The illogic of that can show up in more ways than we can catalog. A paraplegic is told they don’t have enough faith or God would have given them back the ability to walk. A woman in an abusive relationship is told she has to stay with her husband/partner since that is how God would witness to the other. We can push tensions in the Middle East so that the Second Coming will happen faster.

That is not how progress and justice happen. It happens, as Dr. King’s quote says, through sacrifice, suffering, and struggle. These are the ways of Christmas- the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals- God’s people.

The prophet Amos (5:23-24) challenged God’s people to live, not just sing, to practice justice not just pay lip service:

Take away from Me the noise of your songs; I will not even listen to the sound of your harps. But let justice roll down like waters And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.

Another prophet, Micah, (6:8) echoes it so poetically that the depth and challenge can be missed:

He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justice,
to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Isn’t that what we have been discovering throughout these past weeks of Advent?

Hope,
reaching out with unconditional love,
fills us and others with joy
so that peace is found within and around.
Then, in humility we respond to become part of this call of God, and
we become bearers of light pushing back the darkness.
Because of that we sacrifice and stand up for justice.

As I have said a number of different ways this past month, resistance is not passive; non-violence is not a call to be a doormat. It is a way of life that puts the inner life together with our outer life. It melds us into a unity of purpose and hope. Then we live it. Again, and again, and again I say- we live it. It will do far more than bring some physical light and warmth to the darkness of winter, it will be our way of affirming the ways of God- however we may each understand God- allowing us to find the deaths of grace.

How better to end the year and the Christmas season of posts than the amazing words of poet, author, theologian, teacher, and mystic Howard Thurman:

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and the princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flocks,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among people,
To make music in the heart.

3.27- The Tuning Slide- Connecting the Dots

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
-Seve Jobs

This week’s quote from last summer’s Trumpet Workshop owes its existence to a 2005 commencement address by Apple co-founder, Steve Jobs. In the first story in the address he talks about the journey of life (our theme this month) as connecting dots. But, he points out,

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

We can only see our path of dots looking backward! The resulting summary quote, then, from last summer:

✓ Therefore make good dots

I made some good dots musically this past year.

• I met Doc!
• A dot of inspiration and humility
• I attended the Big Band and Trumpet Workshops at Shell Lake for the third year.
• Dots of learning and staying open to growth.
• I have practiced every single day since March 24 (and only missed 7 days before that this year.)
• Dots of discipline and commitment.
• I am now regularly hitting an E above the staff in my daily routine and almost getting F.
• Dots of patience and improving skill
• I volunteered at the Eau Claire Jazz Festival as a “room host”
• Dots of seeing the great future of jazz music and instruction.
• I took several lessons and spent time with some amazing musicians
• Dots of accepting my need for outside input and support.
• I have learned how to relax while playing a performance.
• Dots of acceptance of Self Two doing its work.
• I published my book, The Tuning Slide, of the first two years of this blog.
• Dots of sharing what I have learned so others, too, may learn.
• I continue this weekly blog!
• Again, dots of discipline and commitment,

As a result of these and other dots, my skill level has increased, my self-confidence has improved, my tone and rhythm have gotten better, and my life continues to be filled with music and more music! These dots also add to the ongoing theme of my life that how I do anything is how I do everything. To be honest there are non-dots from last year. Or perhaps it might be better to say attempted dots that somehow didn’t get connected in this rear-view summary. They represent things for next year (and next week’s post!) But what I know is that because I have made these dots this year, I am moving in a direction that these can be applied to more and more areas of my life.

Dots of:

• Inspiration
• Humility
• Learning and openness to growing
• Patience
• Discipline and commitment
• Volunteering and sharing
• Acceptance

In short it has been a good, and growing year. As I am continually amazed, even old dogs can learn a lot of new tricks! Thanks to all of you who have helped make it the year it was!

What dots did you make last year? How do they connect? How do they lead to your future? See you next week in 2018!

Happy New Year!

Spirituality as Resistance: Light in the Darkness

It has always been one of the core beliefs of my faith that resistance to the world’s ways is at the heart of the Judeo-Christian ethic. It may also be at the heart of other faiths, but this is the one I know best and am steeped in. Between now and Epiphany Sunday on January 7 I will take one of the traditional themes of the season and relate it to our present day resistance to some difficult and troubling things happening around us. I don't believe we are to withdraw from the world, but rather engage with the world (in, not of the world) with the Word in mind.

Christmas Day

December 25, 2017

Light as Resistance

Rage, rage, against the dying of the light!

- Dylan Thomas

I wonder if people at the time of Jesus’ birth felt hopeless? Were the “good, old days” the vision they kept in their mind? Might they have said these things?

• Remember when our people were led by Moses? No one like him since.
• Remember the bravery of the Maccabees reclaiming Jerusalem? Where are they now when we need them again?
• Remember the way Isaiah and Jeremiah had such great contact with God? Why are our religious leaders so dishonest now?
• Remember when Judea was great? Who will make us great again?

As a result of being human, did they believe that the world was winding down into some kind of darkness?

It wasn’t physically any darker than it had ever been. Bethlehem on the first Christmas was as dark as ever. The fields where the shepherds were quietly taking care of their flocks was as dark as any such night might be. The manger was as surrounded by darkness as it would always be in the middle of the night. Light came only from oil lamps or torches. Defeating the darkness was one of those basic human drives whether by campfires and torches or today’s LED flashlights and streetlights blocking the light of moon and stars.

We 21st Century westerners have little to no idea about such darkness. Or at least not exterior darkness. We have conquered the outer darkness and hidden the stars from view. The darkness we often rage against is an inner darkness found in our hearts and the actions of others. We may argue whether the times are any darker than they have ever been or what to do about it. We may disagree about how that darkness manifests itself. The past year has seen many examples of darkness attempting to conquer the light many of us believe God has placed in the center of humanity.

• Terror in Las Vegas, Fort Lauderdale, and Manchester.
• Devastating historic-level hurricanes.
• Threats of nuclear attacks.
• Ravaging wildfires.
• The rise of white supremacists and neo-Nazis.
• Terror in the Bronx, Barcelona, and Manhattan.
• Sutherland, Texas murders.
• Attack on congressional ballgame.

We have experienced a daily onslaught of tweets and counter-tweets, the seemingly unending attacks on social programs aimed at helping the least and the lost, the regular twisting and spinning of news to fit “my” ideologies, the degradation of science as a way of understanding our world, the misuse of the title “Christian” as a political “big stick”, and smaller, but just as hurtful, abuses and assaults on decency and character.

But we are also growing and improving.

• The amazing shift in dealing with sexual abuse and harassment is causing a long hoped-for movement into honesty, empowering women to speak out. 
• The Women’s March in Washington started that movement and gave it early momentum. 
• The election victories in Virginia and Alabama have given many an awareness of what can happen when people do get out and vote. 
• The solar eclipse was a cross-country unity of awe. 
• The many pictures of individuals reaching out to strangers in the midst of terror and destruction reminds us that we are better than the headlines might indicate.

It would be easy at the end of this year to be sad, discouraged, or even angry. To do so would be to surrender to the power of the darkness. Most, if not all, myths and cultural foundations remind us that to do so is counterproductive. From the "Odyssey" to "Star Wars", light does find a way to win. We get that image from simply watching a sunrise- or just turning on a light in a dark room. One cannot turn on a darkness switch. It does not work that way. We can hide the light, put it under a covering or a basket, but there is still light and it shines somewhere.

• Let it shine and defeat the darkness.

Dylan Thomas may have written the above words when his father was going blind and dying, but they are words to be read each day when the darkness surrounding us seems to be getting stronger. It is not. The light must not be allowed to dim. To “rage against the dying of the light” is to shine more brightly ourselves, to affirm what we have already celebrated through Advent:

• Hope
• Love
• Joy
• Peace.

To live these each day is to push back against the darkness.

One commentator on the web forum Quora said this about Thomas’s poem:

It is a strong invocation for us to live boldly and to fight. It implores us to not just "go gentle into that good night," but to rage against it. Even at the end of life, when "grave men" are near death, the poem instructs us to burn with life. The poem's meaning is life affirming.
-Quora

Light is not just resistance, it is the way resistance works. It is a light in the darkness, a word to break the night into a place of revelation, an action to push for life. Always for life!! As long as there is light, there will be the promise and hope of life.

Christmas is the Word become Flesh and the light shining in the darkness, breaking through hate and fear, despair and greed.

Sing it loud, let it shine.

Merry Christmas!

Spirituality as Resistance: Humility

It has always been one of the core beliefs of my faith that resistance to the world’s ways is at the heart of the Judeo-Christian ethic. It may also be at the heart of other faiths, but this is the one I know best and am steeped in. Between now and Epiphany Sunday on January 7 I will take one of the traditional themes of the season and relate it to our present day resistance to some difficult and troubling things happening around us. I don't believe we are to withdraw from the world, but rather engage with the world (in, not of the world) with the Word in mind.

Christmas Eve
December 24, 2017
Humility as Resistance

In a very real sense not one of us is qualified, 

but it seems that God continually chooses 

the most unqualified to do his work, to bear his glory. 

If we are qualified, we tend to think that we have done the job ourselves. 

If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualification, 

then there's no danger that we will confuse God's work with our own, 

or God's glory with our own.

― Madeleine L'Engle, 

We seek power in a savior and instead are guided to a lowly manger. A baby has been born who, we are told, will throw the great from their thrones and let the oppressed go free.

We expect strength and self-assurance when God becomes human and yet we are told he is in a small out-of-the-way place like Bethlehem of Judea. A baby cries, like any baby, intuitively knowing that when they do that they will be heard.

We watch for armies and weapons to come to take the world back for God yet the most defenseless of humans is where we are led. A baby whose arms can hold nothing and whose legs can’t stand on their own is the unarmed Prince of Peace.

The paradox of Christmas is nowhere more apparent than tonight. The great sounds of music will peal with bells and instruments to proclaim a holy miracle. Pomp and pageantry will be the order of the night from all corners of the Christian faith. It will be anything but a sign of resistance. It may even look like the ceremony, spectacle, and trappings of worldly powers will have co-opted the night. Christianity has conquered the world. We dress up in our finest clothes, we venture into our places of worship to pay our yearly respect for something beyond our understanding, but still underpinning our hopes.

This is not a night known for humility- as resistance, revolution, or anything else.

But in that is the paradox we can so easily overlook. Mary’s song months before the birth talked about that:

…he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.

He has brought down rulers from their thrones

but has lifted up the humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things

but has sent the rich away empty. (Luke 1: 51b-53)

Perhaps our first act on this night is one of confession for what we have turned this night into. But I think that would also miss the importance of the displays and ceremony. They are not just for us, they are for the world to see. They do not proclaim our greatness, they scatter the proud and bring down the powerful. They lift up the humble- the hungry and lost, the lonely and least with the hope, love, joy, and peace that we have been seeing throughout Advent. A little child IS leading us- a baby who has no choice but to be powerless and dependent, a baby who doesn’t know the word proud or control or self but who can only cry an unknowing cry.

It is when we are willing to live within the paradox of a humble baby who is God become flesh, that we can start to understand who we are. No, maybe it is not about understanding for if we could truly understand this night’s miracles, it would no longer be a night of miracles. By definition we cannot understand or explain what this night is about- other than perhaps to humble us for we, too, are the proud who need tone cast down from our self-made thrones where we have inaugurated ourselves as the saviors of the world.

There is the beginning of humility as resistance. To become as a little child in order to grow into a spiritually mature person of soul. “God humbled himself,” Paul said in Philippians. How can we do anything else.

• Tonight, meditate on the presence of God in our world.
• As a child.
• To show us how important it is to simply be human.
• Humility.

These are the few ways we can practice humility:

To speak as little as possible of one's self.

To mind one's own business.

Not to want to manage other people's affairs.

To avoid curiosity.

To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.

To pass over the mistakes of others.

To accept insults and injuries.

To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.

To be kind and gentle even under provocation.

Never to stand on one's dignity.

To choose always the hardest.

― Mother Teresa

The Tuning Slide 3.22- Gratitude and Music

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.
- Fredrich Nietzsche

It is Thanksgiving tomorrow. It is the day we single out to be grateful. In reality gratitude and thanksgiving are actually essential elements of happy and many creative lives. It can provide a sense of hope and strength in even the most difficult of times and places. It is good to take a moment this week to remember to be grateful.

Almost four years ago The Huffington Post had an article titled Music and Gratitude: The Gifts That Keep On Giving by Frank Fitzpatrick. (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-fitzpatrick/music-and-gratitude-the-g_b_4401547.html) The writer had attended a rare concert by composer Johnny Mandel ("The Shadow of Your Smile", the "Theme from M*A*S*H") which was on Mandel’s 88th birthday. Fitzpatrick wrote:

I felt deep gratitude for that opportunity to be there with Johnny, my good friends and the beautiful music. I enjoyed a sonic journey back through my life — reflecting on loved ones and fond memories. It was Johnny himself, however, who brought the power of gratitude into the spotlight. With an innocent pride and profound sense of humility, he turned and thanked us for sharing with him the greatest birthday gift he could ask for — a chance to make music and to relish with us in the experience as his compositions were performed by these astounding musicians. You could see the youthful sparkle of joy in his eyes.

Truly one of the great joys of music is to be in the presence of such mastery as Johnny Mandel or Doc Severinsen or whoever your musical hero might be. Those of us who had the chance this past April to meet Doc in Eau Claire, WI, are still living in the glow of that time. I wish I could have played in the band behind him, but just to be there as the music flowed in gratitude from him was a life -filling moment. Earlier in the day we heard Doc interviewed by Bob Baca and it was amazing to see and feel a sense of humility and gratitude. It was real.

That evening, after the show in the green room I had the opportunity to be with a number of the students as they waited for Doc. When he was ready he didn’t disappoint any of us! He was as truly present with each of them (and me) as he was on the stage with the music. Again, here was a musical icon, superhero, superstar, and many other things. Yet he paid attention to us. I heard from others similar stories of their interactions with Doc. He showed amazing gratitude for what he has been able to do in his now 90+ years.

Fitzpatrick expressed in his article what I had felt from Doc:

This sense of deep gratitude, and the humility that makes it possible, is one of the most inspiring qualities that I have found in other visionaries and masters of their craft whom I have had the privilege to meet in my life….

It brings me back to my opening paragraph above about the essential foundation of gratitude. It can lead us to be more present (mindful) in daily experiences. It can fill us with those moments of awe when we play an amazing piece or participate in an equally amazing concert. It can lead us to know life in new ways. Again, from Fitzpatrick’s article:

I found myself reflecting on the deeper meaning and quality of life. I thought about the values and tools that have allowed me to be more present, to feel more deeply and to continue to reconnect to the joy in life. I remembered what my mother taught me about the power of humility and what one of my teachers meant when he said gratitude was the shortest road to joy. While music has been one of the greatest connectors for me, I have come to realize how much more empowering that emotional channel can be when I surrender to it, trust in it, and honor life with humility and gratitude. Music can, in and of itself, be a great expression of gratitude.

I believe that true musical mastery, like gratitude itself, requires a kind of humility — a recognition that something far greater than us is at play, and an appreciation for the gifts and love we have received.

No matter where I find myself in my life, I can always return to the music and the gratitude and follow that path to joy.

I don’t believe I can add much more to that, other than to take the time tomorrow to reflect on what I have been blessed and present to experience since last Thanksgiving. The joy of gratitude is real as I have had the opportunities (many of them!) to be part of things that are greater than I am. In them I find joy- and home and meaning.

What does this have to do with this month’s theme of practice? Actually everything. If we do not approach our practice, our musical learning, and our musicianship as a gift to be grateful for, we will not put the energy or care into it. I really want to say, we won’t put the love into it. If I don’t love my music and my practice of it, if I am not grateful for the growth that practice can bring, I will lose interest and not go where the music can take me. I will be mediocre, or mechanical, or emotionless in my music without love and gratitude for music.

What a gift to celebrate each day. Take time to practice and play your music with gratitude this week. It will be amazing, I am sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, a shout-out to all of you who have mentored me, played in groups with me, given me inspiration and direction since last Thanksgiving. What a gift you have all been to me. I can’t name you all for fear of forgetting someone. Fellow students, instructors, colleagues on the stage, gurus, and superstars- thank you!

Link to Huffington Post article.

The Tuning Slide 3.15- Etiquette for Real Musicians

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

You should play with real musicians;
the best music comes from real people
interacting with each other.
-John Fogerty

I thought about calling this month’s topic How to Be a Real Trumpet Player. We all know that trumpet players have certain reputations that we tend to dislike but perpetuate because, well, we are trumpet players. I have a hunch, though, that we don’t have a lock on those reputations. They are human traits. So, if we learn a better way to do it, we may also end up being better people. Just a thought.

In time honored tradition then, I will call this month’s topic:

Being the Compleat Musician.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You will never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
-Will Rogers

I am going to start somewhere other than where we might expect. Let me call this week's post: Etiquette. In other words, it's about how we behave when we interact with other musicians in rehearsal, on stage, or just about anywhere. As I looked at the list of items in the summary from this year’s workshop, I found these six could apply to this topic:

◆ First impressions mean a lot
◆ Never put out someone else’s light to make your light shine brighter
◆ Just have fun! It will happen faster
◆ Hear it, study it, make it become natural
◆ Be efficient
◆ Be on time

So I Googled “musician etiquette” and came up with two interesting websites. The first was from an oboe player and was titled Oboe Insight (http://www.oboeinsight.com/instruction/musicians-etiquette/). The second was on the website of the Cincinnati Metropolitan Orchestra and their page on rehearsal etiquette (http://www.gocmo.org/rehearsal-etiquette/). All of the thoughts and insights in italics come from these two websites. My thoughts are added in normal type.

Let me begin with one of the sayings from Trumpet Workshop that will get us started on etiquette:
• If you are on time- you’re late.

◆ Be on time

That gets us off on the right foot according to those in the know:

• Arrive early—at least 15 minutes early, or with enough time to both get your instrument out and warm up….If you are late (it happens), try to avoid taking your seat while the musicians are playing; if you can, wait for an appropriate break in the action to slip in.

Okay, we all can be late at one time or another. We get stuck in traffic, at work, or just plain lost track of time. But there are those who think when the schedule says the rehearsal starts at 1:00, that's the time you should get there. Again, it doesn’t always work out, but we need to do our best. For those of us who are not paid musicians- we do have jobs that can get in the way. We need to figure out how to work through these things so the other musicians are not being put out.

• Come prepared. This means two things:
⁃ Come having thoroughly practiced your music. Nothing is more frustrating to conductors than to waste time rehearsing passages that the orchestra members didn’t practice ahead of time.
⁃ Before you head to rehearsal, double check that you have your music, instrument, and any necessary accessories. Be sure to note whether or not you need to bring your own stand to rehearsal. You might consider keeping a wire stand in your car (like a spare tire) just in case!

• Bring a pencil. This one gets its own paragraph. Attending rehearsal without a pencil is like sitting through a university lecture without a taking notes. Even if you think you’ll be able to remember every direction the conductor gives, every dynamic change, every cut, and every ritardando, really, you probably won’t. Keep a couple pencils in your instrument case so they’re always on hand.

Practice, have everything you need, bring a pencil. Pretty much sums up what you do before you leave home for the rehearsal. I would also add have your music handy and ready to play. Again, circumstances happen, but not on a every-rehearsal-basis. The therapist in me wants to call that "passive-aggressive" behavior. It doesn't feel good to those around us when we do it.

• TURN OFF YOUR PHONE. Enough said.
That includes looking at text messages or the latest football scores on your phone in a concert. I have seen it happen! IN A CONCERT, when a musician pulled out their phone when it buzzed with a text. I want to make an exception for rehearsals when the conductor is working with another section, but that may be because I regularly do that myself. Hmmmm. Have to think more about that one.

Several issues on being polite came up, although they weren’t listed that way. They were called “rude.”

• If you are sitting second, never play the principal’s solos while warming up! It’s just not done. Even at the rehearsals. Don’t play other instruments’ solos either. Rude.

• Leave your arrogance at home. Members of the orchestra are all equal; everyone is contributing. Don’t gloat if you have a solo, and don’t bust out personal solo concertos and performances pieces just to show off. Everyone will be more annoyed than impressed.

◆ First impressions mean a lot

I found this on Pinterest- not so comic relief?

Be part of the group, not above it. All members of the group are equal (We are all "friggin' gods!) is one of those simple profound statements that we easily forget. Trumpet players have the reputation of being the arrogant ones and sadly it is deserved sometimes. From my observations we do tend to talk, joke, interact, and react more than many other band members. (Guilty as charged!) Rude? Yep. I keep working on it and I am getting better. It continues in the next two items as well.

• When the concertmaster tunes the orchestra, stop playing and be quiet. (Unless, of course, you’re playing first — then tune the orchestra!)

Being quiet is mentioned twice- and it says it all…

• Be quiet. (I can’t tell you how many times I hear orchestra members yakking … sometimes even during performances!)

The next three are things that many of us do in one way or another. These usually happen in rehearsals more so than performances. They are ways that we sometimes use to learn how our parts fit in the bigger picture. Yet, these etiquette concerns do make sense:

• Don’t conduct from your seat. That’s not your job!

Many times I do that in order to keep my own spot in the music, note where in the count we are, etc. In concert or performance I try to keep it to a minimum and subtle. But even then I realize that it can be distracting.

• Don’t count out loud … and I would even suggest don’t mouth the numbers

• Don’t tap your feet. The conductor is there to keep you in rhythm, and the tapping creates unnecessary noise. Please tap toes. I’ve attended concerts where a number of feet are tapping away — and they aren’t even in unison! Go figure!

We forget- or never paid attention to how we are viewed from the audience. If by the time we get to the performance we still have to be counting aloud, we have probably missed a rehearsal or two. I watched a performance on You Tube once and noticed the same thing about how the musicians were not tapping their feet in unison. As I watched I couldn’t figure out what timing some of them were tapping to- it wasn’t the time signature or a specific rhythm of the music. This is when I realized how distracting it would be for the audience to watch this. I remember my college band director forbidding!! us to tap our feet or toes so it could be seen. Tapping toes inside the shoe is the best alternative. I still fail regularly.

Another rudeness that is difficult to keep from doing in one way or another:

• DON’T ever look over at someone after he or she has made a mistake! That is so incredibly rude it’s inexcusable. We feel bad enough when we make mistakes. We don’t need to know you know! Don’t grimace, laugh, shake your head, or anything else either. In other words: DON’T REACT!

This “Don’t React!” advice is not just when someone else makes a mistake. It includes when you make a mistake. After a church performance one morning years ago one of the congregation came up to me and mentioned the mistake I made- not because they heard it, they didn't, but they saw my face when I made it. In other words, no matter who makes the mistake in performance (or rehearsal when it isn’t you): Don’t react!

Which flows into the next one that needs no explanation.

• If you don’t say anything negative about a colleague you will never be caught saying anything negative about a colleague. Think about it. Musicians are notorious gossipers .

◆ Never put out someone else’s light to make your light shine brighter

A lot of what I have talked about here on the Tuning Slide fits into the last three etiquette concerns.

• Having a good attitude can get you through a lot of rough times.
• Remember that while we strive to be “perfect” our true goal should be to make great music. No one is going to shoot you if you make a mistake! (Aside from maybe being shot with “anger daggers” from the conductor!)

Remember why you play music in the first place. That is the attitude piece.

Remember why you practice music- so you can get closer and closer to the goal of making great music. Take that into the rehearsal and on stage for the performance. One of my joys is to be sitting in the group when a great passage is coming from another section and I’m not playing. The chills up the spine, the joy of music becomes real. That’s why I practice and play and why I am still striving at age 69 to improve.

◆ Hear it, study it, make it become natural
◆ Be efficient

• Lastly, enjoy the music! Don’t take rehearsal so seriously that you lose your connection with the piece or with your instrument. Playing music in an ensemble is a real treat; don’t forget that you’re taking part in a meaningful cultural tradition that will edify your audience.

◆ Just have fun! It will happen faster

The Tuning Slide: 3.7- Arrogant- or Confident?

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

Arrogance requires advertising.
Confidence speaks for itself.
-The Good Vibe Company

I know I have talked before about the very unfair reputation trumpet players have. We are often portrayed as arrogant and self-absorbed. We are told that in spite of what we seem to think it is not all about us. Here’s a good example of the stereotype from the website The Band Advocate’s Resource: (http://insanerandomhobbit.tripod.com/thebandadvocatesresource/index.html)

Trumpets-They are the leaders of the band, the melody, to quote "Drumline", "The trumpets are the voice of the band!" This constant focus and attention has made them egocentric and fairly arrogant, but mainly to those within the section. They are in love with themselves, and they hate associating with the bottom or the top of the section, depending upon where they are. They're loud and their proud. Typical trumpet conversation with the band director; "I could have played that solo better than that." "Do you want it then." "No thanks." This laid back attitude carries throughout the section. Trumpets tend to be odd and offbeat with perverted senses of humor. They are the comic masterminds of the band. Trumpet sections are about half girls, half guys. You won't see many waltzing off to choir, and if you do, chances are they sit bottom of the section. Straight from a trumpet player to you, though, we're not really as bad as we sound (Ha ha, note our section is longer than yours. Yeah, thought so!).

It’s hard living up to that stereotype, but we’ll keep on trying!

Seriously I have met very few trumpet players that fit that image. In reality most of us are far shyer than we appear. When one plays one of the loudest and most aurally notable of instruments, it’s hard to hide, so we just go for it. If we stand out by virtue of the instrument, we better live up to that instrument’s place in the band.

Which often does look like arrogance. That and the fact that we find it hard to be serious for too long. If there is a disruption somewhere in the band, it is more often than not in the trumpet section. Then we yell at each other, put each other down, ignore the director and then have to ask “Where are we starting?” [Sidenote: This is why I admire Bob Baca’s patience with a room FULL of trumpet players at Shell Lake Trumpet Workshop! Scary, but he keeps doing it!]

Having finished with some “true confessions” let’s go back to reality and what this post is all about- the difference between arrogance and confidence. Any one of us can have either without the other. Or we can even have both. Those are the truly obnoxious one’s among us.

What then IS the difference between the two? Well, for one, if you were offended by that paragraph above, you may need to work on your sense of humor; if you believed it to be true… read on…

First, I found the following on the Womanitely website:

• Arrogance is usually the result of a defense mechanism used by subconscious mind in order to prevent further criticism. Confidence comes from positivity, optimism and mental steadiness.

• Superiority is the main quality of an arrogant person. Arrogant people are single-minded; … On the contrary, confident people are high-minded, because they can feel good without having a desire to offend others. They usually see people’s potential and can help them succeed in something.

• An arrogant person thinks they are better than others, while a confident person knows they are just as good as others. Confident people will rarely be found lecturing or preaching to others or how they are wrong. Furthermore, they usually show respect while listening to somebody. Arrogant people have difficulty listening to others.

• An arrogant person will always try to one-up everything you say. They mind only their own position and make others accept their ideas. Confident people don’t try to impose their vision of the situation on others. Their accomplishments do it for them.

Lots of good thoughts in those quotes. We can know confident people because they tend to be open to other people’s ideas and abilities without needing to put them down. They listen to others and don’t impose their vision on others, rather seeking to learn new things and new perspectives from others. You don’t get that type of vibe from arrogant people

Cody Brown at Medium.com adds the following two differences:

• Arrogance makes your world smaller and
• The difference between the two has a lot to do with empathy.

It is a small world if what you think is right is the only thing that is right. It is just as small if you think you are either so superior to others or so afraid of failing that you can’t enjoy what you are doing. And the difference really boils down to that wonderful word, empathy. Empathy simply means that in some ways you can understand or feel another person’s emotions and reactions from their perspective. It means caring about them and seeking what’s good for them and for you. It is not sympathy- feeling sorry- but being open to them and what they experience.

In spite of all those things we trumpet players may have been accused of, I have met far more empathetic musicians than arrogant ones. Sure, some may come across as arrogant. They have such great confidence in their skills that they don’t seem to need or want comments or advice. That is often more a product of the gap between their skill and mine. If Trumpet John Smith picks up the horn and just blows away- that can seem arrogant because I want so badly to be able to do that. But when he leans over to the me and gives me a helpful hint, we can begin to see the empathy.

So how can we combat the image of being arrogant musicians? Here are some suggestions I found helpful.

Seek humility. That does not mean striving for it so we can boast of how humble we are, but learning to live it. One way to describe humility is to be teachable. Always look to learn from whoever you are with. There is wisdom abounding in our world. We often miss it because we think we already know it.

Listen with an open mind. That goes along with the being teachable. None of us knows it all. None of us can ever know it all. Someone else’s experiences may give a whole new perspective to how we see ourselves and our world. Keep that inquisitiveness fresh and open.

Be rigorously honest with yourself. One way of describing this is to not thing either to highly OR too lowly of yourself. Know you strengths and your weaknesses and be willing to admit the weaknesses to yourself. That’s how we know where we are still needing to work and learn. Confidence comes from doing what you do well and working to improve what isn’t there yet. All os who have attended the Shell Lake Trumpet Workshop have heard story after story of the way some of the great trumpet players keep working on the early pages of Arban’s. They know they have to keep working on the basics and practice every day just to maintain where they are. That’s rigorous honesty with oneself.

Pay attention to Self Two. This comes from the Inner Game ideas which we will delve into again more deeply later this fall. But for now, just remember that Self One is logical and wants perfection. When Self One wants to criticize you let Self Two pick up the slack and give Self One what it wants, a plan to get better. Then do it.

Believe in yourself! That’s part of that honesty. Believe you can do what you can do and are willing and able to learn how to do what you are not yet able to do. This also means don’t put yourself down in negative language or negative attitudes. Admit where you need to grow, but don’t make it seem like it is a personal flaw. You just haven’t gotten there yet.

Look like you believe in yourself. How you dress, how you stand, how you smile (or don’t smile), goes a long way in how others perceive you.

Find a group of musicians to play with who are better than you. If you are the best player in your band, get yourself a group to be with where you aren’t a star and listen to them. Get into a group that is more advanced than you are and work with them. Find a teacher who will push you. Take new ideas as ways to grow and not as criticism.

Keep a Beginner's Mind! Don't lose your inquisitiveness or joy at discovering new things about your world or your instrument. That is a surefire way to keep from becoming arrogant. The more you learn while keeping a beginner's mind, the more you will realize how little you truly know.

In the end your music will tell your story. You don’t have to do it. If you are confident, it will show. If you aren’t, no amount of arrogant behavior will make a difference.