Better Listen

When one has a dream that people are telling them that they notice the weight you have put on-

maybe it's time to lose some weight.

It doesn't help if one exercises but then keeps eating the same way.

Friday Night Lite

I guess you can tell where my mind is tonight. It's 9:15 pm at my local Caribou Coffee, the half moon is off to the south and I am told a line of storms is heading this way. I was just called by my wife to ask me to stop for ice cream on the way home. My decaf coffee cooler is almost gone. And weather bug has just this moment told me there's an alert-a severe thunderstorm watch until 3:00 a.m.

It was a long and interesting day. Had a meeting in the Cities that gave me a chance to do some more reflecting on my call to ministry and how it has evolved and pulled and pushed over the last 10 years in particular. I then had lunch with one of my top A-list friends and we celebrated his book contract and soon to be published book. (This also spurred me to move toward more work on a couple things myself.) Then I sat with another friend and we reviewed where we both have been in the past year. Finally we had a celebration dinner for our daughter finishing her work on her MBA. Tomorrow she and I go off on a road trip to Milwaukee to see Miller Park for the first time (after years of having seen games at old County Stadium.)

Each day has its own rhythm and purposes and events that make it what it is. There's some real power to the AA idea of One Day At a Time. Of course that's the only way we can experience life. But more than that it reminds us to take the day as it comes and celebrate what it has to offer. You can't get much better than that.

That's about as heavy as it gets. But most days that's what it's all about.

The Bike Should Be Ready by Thursday

Hooray! The bike store called and said my new bike is in and will hopefully be assembled tomorrow. Maybe I can even get it tomorrow. A picture will be coming.

Zero for Two

Well, I can't seem to play in a concert. After two and a half years of not playing in a band I was so excited to be able to play in a community band again. Practices and rehearsals led up to a March concert- and I got sick.

Well, along came more rehearsals and more practicing and what promised to be an even better concert, playing some different and fun arrangements. We got all set up, ran some warm-ups, and were all set. For an outdoor concert. When the lady comes running out of a nearby apartment telling us there's a tornado warning.

Some of us (including a couple storm spotters) looked around and realized that the storms were southeast of us and moving to the northeast. Not a problem. So we quickly started the concert and finished the first song. And yes, the tornado warning was supposedly for the city and we should quit.

Looking at the radar when I got home I am not sure the warning was for the whole city, especially since no sirens went off. But we wouldn't have been able to finish the concert anyway since rain came along.

So now I'm zero for two on concerts. Next will be a repeat of today's concert in a nearby town as part of a community band festival. Maybe someone should warn them that I'm coming.

But, mother nature does seem to have allowed summer to arrive. Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.

Not a Big Surprise

It's an important way of looking at the brain- right-brain or left-brain. I have known by my style and approach to life which I tend to be. This test only shows it:

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (64%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (42%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What I find interesting is that I think I am more both-brained than I have ever been As I have gotten older- and have had to do more things that need both sides of the brain to work together my left-brain what had to be pulled into play. For example, I am more upset by clutter and minimal organization than I used to be. But I tend to utilize "right-brain" skills to keep organized such as color-coding to catch the visual.

Of course we all use bother sides of the brain but these show our preferences and ways we may organize the world as well as interact with the world. On top of that you can mix in extraverts and introverts and things get really mixed up.

Two Naps in One Day

Yes, what a joy. I have taken three vacation days this week. I woke up late (8:30 or so) then went back and took a nap at 11:30. I got up at 1:45 because I should have been answering the phone from my wife and a form we had to sign on the sale of our house. After reading for a while I kind of fell into an "unplanned" nap about 4:15 which lasted until 5:15.

Aaaah.

I know, I know- "You won't sleep tonight." But I don't have to get up at 5:45 tomorrow, either, so I can watch The Daily Show an some of Steven Colbert and Letterman and then read some more.

Aaaah.


What's so significant about this? Absolutely nothing. I'm just trying to make all of you who had to work today jealous.

Trying Something New

Some of you may have noticed that there were more posts in the past 30 days. That was a conscious decision on my part at the end of March. I have been doing one post a day minimum for quite a while now. It has been my discipline and a way to keep me writing. Well, as I realized I was posting more than that recently so I decided to try a two-post/day minimum. I missed one day but made up for it with a three-post day in the following week.

Why? Good question. I guess just because it was there. I will probably keep going with it- unless I run out of things to say.

Actually, I was surprised at how serious I got from time to time over a series of posts. That could be dangerous so I'll try to keep track of those much too serious posts and make sure that I balance them with enough fun and games.

So- on to May.

A Pain in the Back

Well, it was back to the injection table today. For at least the 7th time in 14 years I went and had an epidural injection for the lower back problems that seem to plague me. This doctor was GOOD. My other docs have been, too, but this one was painless and quick and I was out in record time.

Will it work? Probably against the pain, but the numbness? Maybe not. The train wreck that is my lower back continues to confound me. The pain is bearable most of the time, but the numbness gets frustrating. We will continue to work on some new things.

So it will be back to the gym for safe and easy workouts.

Oh- and the doctor said biking and golf? No problem.

A Moment of Self-Indulgence

Can't resist a moment to whine. After all it is my blog.

As my regular readers know I finally got back into a band when I moved last December. I have been looking forward to this past Saturday for months. It was to be my first concert in several years. Nothing was going to keep me from being there.

(Cue the sad violins.)

Except I got sick and couldn't go.

(Cue the "Aaaahhhh, poor boy" sound effects.)


Thank you.

We will now continue with the regular blog.

(Oh and some cheese to go with that.)

Unbelieveable- It's Never Been Done Before...

"What is that?" you ask. Easy. Today marks one full year of my exercise program. 365 days since I started. I have never truly been an athlete. I played basketball one year in high school and told myself I was only #14 on a team of 15. I actually believed it for a while, too.

In all my years I have never done anything that remotely appeared to be physical exercise for so long or so consistently. For a period in my late 20s and early 30s I tried to be a runner for several years. I was never really consistent with that although I did manage to run one 5k race in that period. I always did it by fits and starts and long periods of not running.

At an earlier point I signed up for karate and made it about three weeks. I have had health club and other fitness memberships but they soon went by the wayside.

I think this time has worked because 1) I had a goal- my 60 miles at 60 this summer; 2) it makes me feel better; and 3) I just kept doing it until it became a habit. I also went very, very, very slowly, not expecting to be in shape or strong in a week or two. Well, it has worked so far. I feel better; I am told I look better; my goal is a potential reality. Wow.

If it works for this old guy, it will probably work for many. And I am the one most surprised by that!

Number 2000

Sunday March 9, 2003. Post # 1 simply announced the birth of a blog. Eleven days later the Iraq War began. That month I only had five posts. I started slowly.

Since 3/9/03 I have added another 1,999 posts. Today is # 2,000. The last day I missed a post was August 14, 2005.

As I have said before this is exciting for me. The past few weeks with our move to a new city has been a little trying to keep up, but it is a spiritual discipline for me. It forces me to stop and think at least once a day. It makes be look around at my life, the world, situations, or other blogs and find something that strikes my fancy and share it.

There is no question that the world changes around us- and is doing so at a much faster pace than it used to. What has come to be called the "postmodern" world has become a jumble of conflicting, competing, cooperating and compelling differences. We live in one of those cusps of time when everything changes- and nothing is new. We look around us and try to make sense of it all.

As a baby-boomer, I belong to that group that thinks it has invented the world. Yet I have a hunch that we have made some positive contributions and many of us are truly interested in what is happening around us. I guess for me this blog is one of the ways I live that out (along with my work as an addictions counselor!)

So, it has taken me over 1,700 days to get this far. As you can guess from what I have written- it's still fun. So, let's move on. The world is changing and we might be missing something exciting, new- or even old and ancient that is coming back for another run.

Not in Hiding, But....

As I have gone through this whole process of moving I have not said where I was working or what the city was. On Tuesday I posted a picture that showed a bus from the local bus line which naturally identified the city where I now live. One of you noticed that and wondered if I had wanted to keep my location a secret.

Well, not really. I'm not in hiding. Several things have gone on in the years I have been blogging. One was that I have wanted to keep the nickname of pmPilgrim as the focus. Then, as first a minister in my denomination, then a county based worker and counselor in treatment programs I have not generally identified the specific places because I don't want those places to be connected with my opinions, etc. The blog is mine and has nothing to do with my denomination, the county government, private or non-profit treatment programs. I only feel that such a position is fair and ethical (and even required in the policies of all the organizations.) It also helped maintain a distance that is important.

But I am not hiding. I now live in Rochester, MN, which if you knew Minnesota you would have been able to figure out from my posts. I am working in one of the better known - and very large - medical systems in the country in their addictions program as a counselor. That is truly exciting and why I have come to see this move as a "career" move even as I aim at 60 in the next year. I can't believe that I am working there.

But the blog is mine, not theirs. It isn't even about them although I may from time to time comment on what I learn about life and the world and postmodernism through what I do. So I am not hiding or in a witness protection program. While the blog is about my thoughts, I also like to keep it from being entirely about me. I am not the only one with the thoughts I have here. And maybe what I have to say will give someone else a chance to think about themselves and their live.

How'd They Know?

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

Making Decisions 3

The third major decision in moving to a new job in a new city has been where to live. Should we buy or rent. Having been pastors for most of our married life we didn't live in our own home until 8 years ago when we moved to the Twin Cities. It has been great to call our own place "home." But what do we do now? After all we are both AARP-aged Baby Boomers; empty-nesters. Maybe this is the time to make that first big downsizing move.

So we looked at both apartments (larger ones, of course) and houses. We were fairly sure that at least for the moment we were going to rent. Three weeks is not enough time to truly find a place to buy, especially in this buyer's market. But what about the size question?

Well, we looked at a house about 15 miles from town. And we looked at a nice 3-bedroom "luxury" apartment minutes from work (with a shuttle van.) As we drove to the house I realized that I don't like commuting. I have never enjoyed commuting because I never had to do it until I took my current job a little over two years ago. Even my first job outside the church was a couple minute drive to three of the local schools.

I think if the house had been in town we would have taken it. It was not a significant downsize and we would have had time to decide what to get rid of and what not to- which is dangerous considering the number of boxes currently stored in our basement that have not been opened in the 8 years we have lived there.

The apartment had the local convenience and, as we described it, the ability to "unburden" ourselves from some of the physical baggage we have been toting around. It actually feels good to think in those terms. It is time to help make life a little less cluttered. Why do we keep all those papers from seminary or college? What about those books that have some sentimental value but I know I will never read them again? (Jack Newfield's biography of Robert Kennedy for example. How old is that book anyway?)

This has been an interesting process, far beyond the decision process. The aging and moving and downsizing has been a significant element of it which I still need some time to reflect on. But for now we have made the decision for the apartment. We lose about 1000 square feet of living space, but it is all on one floor. The rooms are roomy and comfortable. The location and services are truly unbeatable. Only time will tell whether we can go back to living in such small quarters 33 years after we left an apartment for a parsonage.

But hey, it's an adventure.

In Better Shape

It has been over nine months since I started exercising and three months since I started my diet. Through that time period I first had some mroe issues with by lower back and ended up in physical therapy which didn't help. I then went to a specialty clinic on neck and back issues who put me through some rigorous exercises and machine-guided work. That ended in mid-June and I have been doing quote will since. (Except when I spend more than 3 hours in the car.)

Through that whole time, much to my own and every one else's surprise I kept right on working out. I was very, very conservative! I didn't push myself on the weight machines. I only did cardio on the recmubent bike. I didn't get bent out of shape if I missed a day or two, I just picked up where I left off. I didn't become obssessive about it. I am sure I wasn't being very effective in weight loss, but slowly my endurance and cardio was building up.

Then I went on the diet and started to lose weight. Since August 4 I have lost between 12 and 14 pounds! My pants are not as tight. At the same time I pushed up the cardio on the bike raising the level a few numbers. I just enjoyed it. I felt good when I would finish working out.

Always in front of me is my ultimate goal- I want to be in shape for a 50+ mile bike tour of the Pine Creek (Pa.) Gorge for my 60th birthday in August! It is not a strenuous up and down hike. It's built on the old New York Central rail line which means very little grade. But it is a two-day ride through some amazingly beautiful scenery along a wild and scenic river.

Well, today I had a "metabolic assessment" to take the next step in my workout and prep for next summer. A metabolic assessment analyzes how well I am utilizing my oxygen, fats, and carbs to improve my health. It is a heart-rate based style of working out that sets up the best "zones" of exercise that both burns fat and improves cardio.

The neat thing about the assessment was that I found out that I am in better shape than I thought. My metabolic rate and use of oxygen was in the solid average range- far, far better than I would have done even three months ago. It also means that I am on track for next summer.

This is the first time in my life that I have been this consistent and disciplined with exercise. I was once a runner but that would come and go depending on my whims (and my smoking!) This has now lasted nine solid months. (I am tempted to say that I am giving birth to a new person, but I will resist the temptation.) And above all else I am really enjoying it. I have energy. I feel better. I like what's going on in my life.

Who would have thought it? But, hey, if it works, why try to figure it out.

I'll keep you posted.

Nineteen - Already?

Today I stop and give thanks. If on October 29, 1988 you would have told me what was to happen in the next 19 years I would have laughed at you. I was at our church camp in central Wisconsin for a church retreat. I had just finished a 5-day workshop on "Ministry to Alcoholics and Their Families." It turns out that I was the alcoholic who needed ministry.

Surprise, surprise, when denial gets broken, even for a minute.

So, sitting at the retreat, unable to talk to anyone about it since my wife had no idea, I came to the decision that I needed to do something about it. Within a week I was in treatment.

I was one of those who, on the outside, appeared to be a "high-bottom drunk." I had no legal consequences, no visible problems that anyone, least of all me, could link to my drinking. But there it was with its ugly head and devilish grin.

Now I sit here, 19 years- and a universe and a half away. I often tell my clients and others I know in early recovery that the possibilities in recovery are nothing short of miraculous. I have done, and seen, and experienced more in these past 19 years than anyone should expect. Yet, there they are with all the joy and wonder and grace that life can give. Sure, there have been the bad times, the down times, the fearful times. But that's what life is all about. Without chemicals I had to feel them, go through them, and learn from them.

That may be the biggest miracle of all. That life is truly amazing. Each and every day. Like today. Treatment and recovery is not, in the end a loss. It is not in the final word, a punishment or a failing. It is the possibility of life.

From my deepest depths I am truly grateful! Thanks be to God!

On Being Ill

I have spent today being ill. It's just a pesky cold which I came down with on Thursday. I couldn't goof off and do nothing until today, however. So that is exactly what I did. I got up late; I watched the sun outside the window; I watched the temperature build into the mid-80s (October in Minnesota?); I watched Wisconsin lose for the first time in 15 games; I watched Penn State win; I took a nap; I coughed and sneezed; I felt sorry for myself.

Then I re-read yesterday's post/prayer. I realized my discomfort was nothing compared to the discomfort of so many people who didn't have a comfortable couch to "nap" on. I realized my "suffering" will be gone by mid-week while others will have to "live" or even die with theirs.

I know it is a cliche, but the reason we use cliches is that they speak the truth. I get a different perspective on life and its events when I think of others and theirs.

I am humbled.

Thirty-three Years - and a Different Universe

It was a beautiful Sunday. September 15, 1974.

Gerald Ford had been president for a little over a month following Nixon's resignation. The Vietnam War while officially "over" for Americans was still a deeply divisive issue.

Computers? Big, bulky things that only a select few knew how to work. Steve Jobs was 19 and Bill Gates was about to turn 19. IBM ruled the world and didn't see any reason why anyone would want a personal computer.

Elvis and John Lennon were still alive.

Christian Rock music was still mostly an oxymoron.

Youth ministry was still aimed at Baby Boomers and our self-centered world.

I had been married for 2 1/2 years.

I knelt in front of the Bishop. My family, friends, and congregation watched.

He placed his hands on my head, said some words from Scripture and then the blessing.

I was ordained. A pastor, minister, clergy.

Today, all these years later, I am not currently serving a parish. I have been on leave of absence to do secular ministry as an alcohol and drug counselor. I have been married over 35 years and I am nearing that magical 60-year old mark. (Less than 11 months away.) I don't feel as if that many years have passed. Life is even more interesting today than it was then.

The church and the world the church is called to serve in sure seem different though. We didn't notice it happening, of course. Many times we insist on ignoring those changes because we still feel like we did 30 years ago. Surely the church should be the same. But it isn't. Thus we find ourselves in a different world. In these past 33 years since I was ordained the world has changed far more quickly and profoundly and openly than in probably almost any other 33 year period in history. Looking at film or video from the mid 1970s looks like history- and it is!! It is not current events. Even Ronald Reagan's presidency is part of history not contemporary news.

I can understand why people can become conservative. As the world changes we want stability. We want things to remain the same. But they don't if for no other reason than we all age and change and bring different expectations. If I try to do in ministry what I did in my first parish in 1974 in most churches today, I will be left behind.

But there are some things that in essence don't change. I am also doing one of those things today. I am performing a wedding for the daughter of one of my best friends. He and I were in Seminary together. Today I have the joy and honor of doing the wedding! Life continues. Some things remain the same- but they are also for a new day. Even though I am not serving within the institution of the church I am still in ministry. It is still a joy on days like this and in whatever other ways God continues to call me.

Two Personal Notes

First, one of those "great" quizzes:

You're Spain!

You like rain on the plain, as well as interesting architecture and
a diverse number of races and religions. You like to explore a lot, but sailing,
especially in large groups, never really seems to work out for you. Beware of pirates
and dictators bearing bombs. And for heavens' sake, stop running around bulls!
It's just not safe!


Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

I think I did this one once before, and with no surprise it came up the same again.
-HT to Greg for reminding me of this quiz.

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Second, today is one month since I started my diet. I have been working out since January and really had no success in weight loss. After I got my back into shape- and returned from vacation- I decided it was time to add "eat less" to the "move more".

Today I am at 190 and dropping. That's 8 pounds down, 2 a week. Yeah!

Quiz Time

Yes, there's always a quiz somewhere waiting to tell me what I'm like. (Actually, there are probably people out there waiting to tell me what I'm like. I usually don't want to talk to them.) I wonder if all this is caused by some kind of unhealthy narcissism. Well, anyway, enough about me. Tell me, what do you think of me.......

You Are Impressionism

You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways. You tend to focus on color and movement in art. For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail. You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.

What Art Movement Are You?

--with a HT to Greg