Now I'm Bored

I know this isn't much of a surprise. When I can't be moving around like I want to I tend to get bored. I slept a lot through mid-afternoon. Been up and walking around. Took a shower. How's that for excitement!

Last evening caught the classic 1950 Best Picture All the King's Men which also got Broderick Crawford and Mercedes McCambridge acting awards. It was a politcs movie based on the life of Huey Long, the Louisiana politician. It was dated in many ways- esp. the melodrama and music style that was appropriate for that era. It was a powerful indictment of American politics based on a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Robert Penn Warren.

An interesting trivia note from the broadcast was that the role of politician Willy Stark was originally to go to John Wayne. Wayne didn't like the script saying that it portrayed America and politics in a bad light.

At a deeper level, like so many top novels and movies it explores the depths of human sinfulness- a basic characteristic that Willy Stark utilized to get what he wanted. No is without sin- no, not one.

Perhaps except The One whose Lenten journey we are walking again.

A Dozen (1-12)

CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I'm Back - Sort Of

Any shorter and that would have been an outpatient procedure. Wow.

From leaving home on Wednesday morning to walking back in on Thursday afternoon was 35 hours. Only 35 hours.

That included all the pre-op stuff and then entering the operating room at around 8:00 am. Into my hospital room at around noon. Then it was just check my vitals, make sure I am in some semblance of healing. I was out of bed by 7:00 pm. It was then a long night with little sleep- I probably had too much sleep during the day.

Come morning I made a few phone calls to give a couple of my co-workers across the street a hard time then checked in with some friends- who were as surprised to hear me as I was to be making the call.

"You can leave this afternoon," the doctor told me. "You are good enough to go home."

So home I went, walking in at around 4:30. I have now been home for about 28 hours, most of which were spent sleeping. Taking a walk down the hall. Not much else.

We'll see how it goes, but so far it is pretty much as expected. Which is good.

Google Art

A few weeks ago it was announced that Google Earth had partnered with the great Spanish museum, the Prado, to post zoomable images of some of its great works. Say what you will about Google, it has pioneered at bringing the world- literally and figuratively- to your desk. One of these works of art is the one at right in a picture that I took when in Madrid in 2002. It is Velazquez's Las Meninas considered one of the great artworks of history.

Try it and see what it's like. I never fail to be amazed at what is happening in the computer world!

A Challenge to the President

War always worries me. War is one of those experiences of original sin. It pulls people down into a way of thinking and living in which even the winners lose. It may be necessary at times, but it is never anything but an evil.

Last week on Bill Moyers' Journal, host Moyers ended the show with a challenge to the president on his troop commitment to Afghanistan. Even without the experience of another superpower (USSR) in that same country he raised the challenge that every war should be faced with.

Framed around the folly of the charge of the Light Brigade in the Crimean War, Moyers said:

My friend Parker Palmer speaks of the stripping away of illusion to stand on the firm ground of reality. That's something to keep in mind as America seems heading once again into a foreign adventure that's more slippery slope than terra firma. This very week, President Obama let it be known that he has approved increasing American forces in Afghanistan immediately by nearly 50 percent — at a cost, by the way, of $775,000 per soldier every year according to one recent estimate.

Thinking of the troops who will pay the ultimate price for foreign expeditions like this, I came the other day, quite by chance, on the DVD of one of those classic movies that all policymakers, generals and pundits should see before they point young people toward hell and shout, "Charge." Those of you who hearken back to when our English teachers required us to memorize poetry, will recognize the title of the film immediately. "The Charge of the Light Brigade" was Alfred Lord Tennyson's epic account of the slaughter of an elite British cavalry riding straight into Russian cannon during the Crimean War.

"Forward, the Light Brigade!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Some one had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred."

Forty years ago, some upstart British filmmakers turned "The Charge of the Light Brigade" into a gripping, angry and dark-witted account of a stupefying blunder, as the delusions and grandeur of empire dissolved into the blood and guts of brave but doomed warriors. You can only wish our president and his advisers would watch it in the White House theatre as they prepare the surge from which many now living will never return.
--Transcript

Three On War

Albert Einstein

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

George Wallace

"Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?"

Norman Mailer

"Any war that requires the suspension of reason as a necessity for support is a bad war."

Christ on the Cross, Federico Barocci, 1604
The Prado Museum, pmPilgrim picture, 2002

Lent, 2009

Ash Wednesday

Pondering the Crucifixion.

May we spend this Lenten season doing just that as well as the inward journey necessary to stand at the foot of the cross with full humility and the knowledge and hope of the Resurrection.

All But Ready

All the tests are done- I had a final MRI this morning.

• Did you know that the scanning takes about 20 minutes of noise?
• Did you know that the fourth of the scans sounds like The Who in their intro vamp to Won't Get Fooled Again without the chord changes and in an endless, mind-numbing loop? (CSI anyone?)
  

I met with the surgeon this afternoon.

I called the surgery scheduling line as required and am told that I am to be at the hospital by 5:45 (a.m.) with surgery, well, anytime after that. I am told that I may even be out of the hospital by sometime in the afternoon on Thursday- depending on my ability to walk and do other very basic things. Probably no later than Friday if things go smoothly.

The past couple days have been, as my wife says, pulling into my shell. I call it turning inward pondering powerlessness and letting go of the need (or ability) to control. As a friend of mine wrote me this morning:

Adventure begins where control ends – and being wheeled away to surgery [is] a big-time where-control-ends experience.

Yes, it is another pmPilgrim adventure.

At this point the nerves are beginning to act up a little. I have tried to talk myself out of it a couple of times since, after all, it is not an essential surgery. I don't want to get worse and I don't want it to continue. I am too young to stop moving around and have too many things I want to be able to do. But that, too, is where the control ends. All I can do is what I can do. I choose to put myself in the hands of the surgeon; I choose to attempt to get back a higher quality of life.

I am grateful that I am able to do it. I know there are many in the world who couldn't do this even if they wanted to. So I ask for your prayers. I have set up a number of posts for the next number of days so as not to break my unbroken string of posts. Will be back with more thoughts and my usual ramblings sooner than later.

Politics Aside- More History

Tonight was another moment of history before our very eyes. If it weren't for the economy, just having Barack Obama stand before the congress as the President would have been more change than we would ever have believed possible.

It is also exciting- and appropriate- that as one commentator said, he will be judged on his accomplishments and not on his racial/ethnic background. That is refreshing.

If he succeeds, the United States will succeed. Isn't that the way it is supposed to be?

One More on the Movies

It was the "little movie that could." Slumdog Millionaire, as expected walked away with the 2009 Academy Awards! It was nominated for 10 and won 8, only one shy of what it could since it had two nominations for music. Sound Editing was its only non-win. Benjamin Button came up quite short, winning only 3 of its 13 nominations, not a surprise. Actually there were only two that could be considered surprises: Penelope Cruz for supporting actress in Vicky Christina Barcelona and a semi-surprise as Sean Penn as Harvey Milk ousted Mickey Rourke. (Although that was my choice.)

So, what does it mean? Well, in the greater scope of things, probably little. One thing struck me, though. It was probably the least violent series of "Best Picture" nominees in a while. It was, in reality, a really good crop of nominees. If there was a theme, perhaps for an undertone it would be that we can get through tough times.

• You can be a slumdog in Mumbai and become a millionaire as well as get the girl.
• You can be the ugliest baby in history and grow up/down to be Brad Pitt a person loved and loving. And you can get the girl.
• You can be a seemingly purposeless middle-aged gay man and become the force of change for a whole community.
• You can be a British entertainer outmatched by one of the wiliest politicians in history- and get him to admit errors.

As I said in my earlier post- neither Slumdog nor Milk would disappoint me if they won. They are both remarkable movies that I hope will stand the test of time. Benjamin Button may also do so. I found myself being pulled back into the story just watching the clips on the show. There are of course all kinds of things that make movies "great" and not all of them are given awards. That may be Benjamin Buttons true strength.

In the end it may be that the way to get through is passion- passion for a movement, passion for life, passion for a place in history, passion for another person. I have been greatly touched and uplifted by these movies this year. It was a very good year.

16th Century Icon
The Hermitage, St. Petersburg, Russia

Last Sunday of Epiphany
The Transfiguration

Mark 9:2-8 -- Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and John, and led them up a high mountain apart, by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no one on earth could bleach them. And there appeared to them Elijah with Moses, who were talking with Jesus. Then Peter said to Jesus, “Rabbi, it is good for us to be here; let us make three dwellings, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” He did not know what to say, for they were terrified. Then a cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud there came a voice, “This is my Son, the Beloved; listen to him!” Suddenly when they looked around, they saw no one with them any more, but only Jesus.

What a way to get ready for Lent... standing on a mountaintop watching Jesus change in Christ- and then back. The moment is beyond our comprehension. Lent can take us into the depths of our souls- places we should not go alone. Lent transports us to the cross for a 40-day contemplation.

So today, the last Sunday before Lent, we come to this mountaintop to be emboldened.

So I come today to be emboldened- not just for Jesus' cross and my re-imagining of that great event of hope- but for the journey I will make starting Wednesday. I will have surgery sometime that day- Ash Wednesday- to correct issues with my lower back. In no way am I likening this to Jesus' journey to Calvary. My pain and so-called "suffering" pales.

But in my human weakness and fear it is bad enough. Jesus has been through worse and was brought through it. So can - and will- I be brought. At times like this, deep theology goes nowhere. Deep theology is of the mind. This is of the heart. And the heart is human and fearful. How powerful is the basic and simple message that Jesus has been here. Jesus knows.

So I am given a vision today from a mountaintop. I'm taken there with Peter, James and John to witness my Lord and Master be transformed. This, I am being told, is for your strengthening through what is to come. No matter what the day or times bring, there is one who is there. As I was typing, words came through iTunes from the album based on the movie, The Apostle. It was the group Sounds of Blackness reminding me that:

Victory is mine,
victory is mine,
victory today is mine.

I told Satan to get thee behind,
victory today is mine.

Verse:
When I rose this morning,
I didn't have no doubt,
I knew that the Lord would bring me out.

I fell on my knees,
said, "Lord help me please"
got up singing and shouting the victory.

Victory is mine,
victory is mine,
victory today is mine.

I told Satan to get thee behind,
victory today is mine.

Again, it is in the everyday of life that this holds true. Fear and uncertainty or awe and wonder can overwhelm. To come face to face with them, like Peter, James and John is to know the presence of God and the closeness of grace. The mountaintops - in an odd mixed metaphor - keep us grounded in God.

Coming to the Awards Night

Well, Sunday is the Big Night for the movie industry and for all of us who love movies- the Academy Awards. I was unable to get to the 5th of the Best Picture nominees (The Reader) this year- it was only in town a week and didn't get to go. But with no special knowledge, insight, or training, here goes my summary of the movies (in the order that I saw them).

Milk (IMDB; Tomatometer= 93%)
A moving and inspirational movie. Sean Penn is outstanding. There is nothing second-rate about this movie. It raises many issues and leads us back to a time that was at once more innocent and less free. It was a time after Vietnam and before AIDS when the possibilities of change were real. Harvey Milk believed in change for people's sake. His story is not just a gay story, it is a human potential and freedom story. It is definitely one of the two front-runners, as it should be.

Curious Case of Benjamin Button (IMDB, Tomatometer= 72%)
Overrated much like Forrest Gump was overrated. An excellent movie but the hooks are truly too contrived and superficial. The acting is very good but not of Oscar level. It is a tear-jerker with a lot to offer- and it will remain a crowd-pleaser, as it should. I truly enjoyed it and may even consider owning it on DVD, but it is not the best picture. I still vote for Gran Torino on the list in its place.

Slumdog Millionaire (IMDB; Tomatometer= 94%)
Quite a movie. It is not your standard Hollywood style. The colors, the people, the music, the poverty, the masses of India make this a refreshing addition to movie making. The fresh cast of unknown actors pulls you in and never lets you go. Yes, it is contrived, but the story is refreshing enough to let you go with it. At the same time it shows the ways of serendipity and synchronicity leading to the important things in our lives. Rightly one of the two front runners.

Frost/Nixon (IMDB; Tomatometer= 91%)
Powerful and engaging movie. It takes us back to the Nixon era and the one and only time anyone really had a chance to engage the shamed former president with the possibilities of his criminal behavior. His grandiosity and deep, deep psychosis of anti-social personality disorder floods from the screen. The movie benefits from a Tony-award winning Broadway play as its foundation. That also is what in the end makes it less of a Best Picture than it is a Best Play made into a Picture. It deserves the nomination but not the award in the end in this field.

The Reader (IMDB; Tomatometer= 60%)
Another movie that the critics generally feel shouldn't be here on this list. Perhaps if it weren't for the topic (a Holocaust theme) and the always amazingly powerful Kate Winslet, it probably wouldn't be here. I want to see it and wish I had been able to but it might well be the least likely winner.

So who is going to win? First let me mention Nate Silver of the political website 538.com. He has a post about his article in New York magazine where he uses his statistical analysis to predict the Academy Awards winners. (His 2008 election analysis was amazingly accurate.) He is 99% sure that Slumdog Millionaire is going to take the top awards. Based on its track record so far that is a safe bet.

But there is an element of this that he may miss in purely statistical analysis- the particular make-up of the Academy voting population and their somewhat quirky takes. Some of the winners are locks- Heath Ledger for supporting actor, Kate Winslet for actress- some are up for grabs- supporting actress. Mickey Rourke is a probable for actor but Sean Penn should never be counted out as he is always a remarkable actor. And as someone wrote- he even smiled in Milk. Since I haven't yet seen The Wrestler I would expect Penn to be the winner for a number of reasons.

This is one of those years when I would be more than happy with either front runner winning the Best Picture. My gut tells me the winner will be Slumdog. Unlike Silver, I don't give it a 99% chance. My heart was so moved by Milk that I would be more than pleased if it wins. I will not be surprised either way. They are both equally deserving.

Depression and Depression

Bill Moyer's had Parker Palmer on his Journal this evening. Palmer is a brilliant spiritual leader who has written many times of the varied forms and ways of spirituality. It was a rich and challenging half hour with Palmer's usual depth and insight.

One part that struck me was when he reflected from his own experience of depression and the current economic situation. I was struck, believe it or not for the first time, by the connection of the two words- the economic and the "clinical/medical."

Here is Palmer's insight:

I don't think it's an accident that we talk about the Great Depression and maybe the impending depression that we're going into economically and about clinical depression.

There's a lot of darkness out there. And there's a lot of lossness. And there's a lot of people feeling that their lives are over. We need to learn to be present to one another in listening ways, in compassionate ways. Do we need to be doing outside work that has to do with repairing a broken economic system and a political system that's in disrepair? Absolutely we do.

But we need to be drawing for that on an inner wisdom that isn't there when it's only fake science that's driving our reconstruction efforts, when it's only an illusion of rationality or an illusion of affluence. We need to penetrate those illusion bubbles. Thoreau said reality is fabulous. And I agree with him. It's a lot more fabulous than illusion because it won't let you down. Reality won't let you down. It is what it is. And we have to learn to deal with it. Because when you're standing on the ground of your own reality, your society's reality, you can fall down, as we do and we will continue to do, and simply get up and dust yourself off. You aren't falling from 100 feet in the air where you're likely to kill yourself.
(Transcript)

I don't believe he meant that a "stimulus package" is necessarily a bad idea. He said we need to repair the system. But in fact, what he was talking about was the whole issue that underlies the problem and that neither Democrats nor Republicans are addressing- the foundational idea of an illusion of reality based on non-stop progress and affluence. Penetrating the bubbles of illusion mean offering a vision of reality that makes sense in these darkening times. The darkness is a spiritual one as much or even more than it is an economic one.

Earlier in the conversation, Palmer had talked about depression and what is needed at those times. He said:

BILL MOYERS: What do you do when you hit bottom?

PARKER PALMER: Well, nothing for quite a while. And people sometimes say depression is like being lost in the dark. My experience is it's more like becoming the dark. You don't have a sense of self any longer with which you can stand back and say, "Oh, I have this disease and it, too, will pass."

The voice of depression takes over. And all you can hear is the darkness which is you. And I think what you learn at that point is a couple things. One is there's huge virtue in simply getting out of bed in the morning, by which I mean learning to value the fact that you can take one step at a time.

The second thing you learn is that you need other people. You don't need their advice. You don't need their fixes and saves. But you need their presence. I sometimes liken standing by someone who is in depression as being like the experience of sitting at the bedside of a dying person because depression is a kind of death, as is addiction and other serious forms of mental illness.

That is part of the thought behind the stimulus package from either side. Democrats see it one way, Republicans another. In the end the spiritual side of all of this is what will be the most successful at keeping us moving. One is the "value of simply getting out of bed" and keeping moving. But doing that alone is not enough. We need each other. We need to be there for those most impacted by the depression. Walking with them in their pain and sharing in whatever ways we can.

It is not an easy plan. Nothing is that really works. Quick fixes and a desire for instant gratification achieves little of value. I fear that by not challenging the illusions of economic dreams of wealth where the rich continue to get richer and poor might as well accept their poverty, we will not discover our depth and hope as people in community with each other.

Trying to Stay With It

One of the good news/bad news things about being a trained and licensed counselor is that if you stop long enough to think about things, you realize the significance of what's going on. And then you feel silly for being, well, just like everyone else you have ever talked to in similar situations.

It is now less than a week until my back surgery. That's scheduled for next Wednesday sometime. The past couple days have had several medical appointments in preparation for next week. First I had an appointment with my primary care physician to do a pre-anesthesia evaluation- i.e. to make sure that at my age surgery is okay. (No smart remarks, Greg.)

From there I went to have an ECG to make sure I have a heart that is working correctly. (My clients are not allowed to answer that one.) And yesterday I had fasting blood work to be sure there are no hidden issues running around in my bloodstream.

Still to go are an MRI on Tuesday morning to get the latest picture available of the spine and then the meeting with the surgeon. I assume he will then give the final go-ahead and tell me when and where to report in the pre-dawn of Ash Wednesday.

That's the physical-medical part. That's straightforward and easy to do. It's the internal, under the surface, psychological/spiritual part that I am having trouble dealing with in as clear and open a way. After all, the body wants to protect itself so it goes into denial and even shut down. I have noticed for example that I have developed a certain amount of depression over the past week. Maybe if I stay sleeping longer I won't think about it. Or I find myself detaching, staring, thinking of nothing. I get home in the afternoon and feel like I am grateful to be back in my cocoon. Or I head to the Caribou Coffee down the street, put on my headphones and surf, read and write.

Oddly enough after I wrote most of this post on Tuesday I woke up yesterday - and went through the whole day!- without any of the walls or internalizing that I had been experiencing. I thought, well, maybe I broke through something. But I couldn't think what it might have been. So I stopped wondering and just plain enjoyed the "old Barry" having at least returned for a moment.

Which I know is all okay. I have seen many go through this. It is natural and normal. And so far I am not worried, as such. I am not getting any big case of nerves or anxiety. I am sleeping my normal sleep. I am understanding why I am finally doing this. I have been reflecting on the hope and possibility that lies ahead of me for increased stamina and increased opportunities to do things I have been unable to do as easily as I would like. Taking trips and hikes, walking to work or standing around talking to people.

Perhaps I am also aware that most of it will be beyond my consciousness. That's one of the advantages of some of the good IV drugs they use for anesthesia- they make you forget the aspects you don't want to remember. I still can't believe that it may only be two weeks off work, but I will happily be up and around that quickly if the doctor thinks it's okay.

So I am now in countdown mode. Tomorrow will be my last day at work pre-leave. Saturday we go see Shakespeare at the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis. Sunday will be the last exercise time and then it's on to the final preparations. We'll see what comes next.

HALT is For Real

In the 12-Step fellowships you will often hear the word HALT as an acronym for things leading to a possible relapse. When these things happen, it is time to do something about it.The letters stand for:

• Hungry
• Angry
• Lonely
• Tired

When hungry- literally or figuratively- fill the hole. When angry talk it out with someone. When lonely connect with others. When tired- rest.

Well, as in so many, many things relating to addiction and psychology recent brain research has continued to affirm so many things that have been passed down as folk wisdom in the recovery community. It happened again this week.

An article at LiveScience started with the headline:

Brains of Lonely People Work Differently

It then went on to say that

Lonely people have less activity in a part of the brain that normally lights up in association with reward, scientists have found. It's not clear if social isolation diminishes the brain-reward response, however, or if people with less activity in that part of the brain tend toward loneliness.

More research will be need to sort out the findings, which come from a study of just 23 female college students. But the finding offers hope that scientists may improve their understanding of loneliness, a growing emotional problem in an increasingly scattered society and one known to raise the risks of several health problems.
--link

This is of course preliminary but intriguing nonetheless. What we are discovering on deeper and deeper levels is that much of what we experience in psychological or emotional ways is in fact some reactions of some kinds deep in the physiology of the brain. They are chemical and electrical reactions to the world around us- or the things that influence how we see that world. It may seem like a "Which came first...?" question but the question itself can lead us to look for issues and answers that we wouldn't even have thought about.

And thanks to the growth and plasticity aspects of the brain we also know that we can re-train and change our brain's processes in some instances. Even if, for example, a person's brain is wired for greater sensitivity to loneliness, to get into positive, growing relationships may work at overcoming that physical characteristic and tone down or even change the perceptions of loneliness. I other words behavioral or other interventions (like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or DBT, for example) could bring about the hope of better and more satisfying relationships.

Interestingly, tying together two of the HALT acronyms, the article concluded:

"Lonely people feel a hunger," Cacioppo added. "The key is to realize that the solution lies not in being fed, but in cooking for and enjoying a meal with others."

Young and Stupid

A-Rod told us nothing that we didn't already know- he was young and stupid. Don't believe it? Just consider:

• he was willing to take inject a street-bought drug, that he had no idea what it was, what it would do, where it had been, or if it was even legal. And he was willing to do that for several years.

Now he is older and wiser. Don't believe it? Just consider:

• He did not mention the word "steroid" in his press conference and he was more than willing to admit that he was "young and stupid."

Either wisdom or a good agent and lawyer.

Coming Soon- I Hope

There was snow forecast for today- the first time in about 35 or so days. It didn't amount to a whole lot here in town, but it is past the middle of February so.....

(Taken on May 26, 2008 at Quarry Hill Nature Center, Rochester, MN)

Sorry to Tell You...

You are not important enough for God to hate you.

Heard this at a 12-step talk the other night and had to pass it on. I have a hunch that alcoholics and addicts don't have a corner on the self-deprecation market or are the only ones who believe that God is out to get us.

All of us are often more willing to sit in our past errors and the mistakes we can fall into. We believe that God is ready and willing at the merest hint of sin to smite us (to use religious language.) Well, in truth, if what we are taught is true, we haven't been willing to hear the truth.

God does not hate us.

God does not want to wipe us off the face of the earth.

So get over it. Let God accept you! It's the best thing you can do for yourself.

That's why it's grace.

Why They Get Caught

Every week James Lileks, one of my favorite columnists and bloggers in the Twin Cities posts his Miscreant Roundup: Police Blotter Highlights. This past week he brought to our attention one of the annual crime sprees in the frozen north. Here was one that I liked:

"Theft. A man reported that a female attempted to steal his car that was parked on the 600 block of 106th Lane NW. He said he left the vehicle unlocked, with the keys in the ignition and the car running. He did not see her in his car, but saw her running away from it. When he got to the vehicle, it had been moved and the keys were gone. He said the parking brake was on and that probably prevented the suspect from driving away."

As Lileks pointed out, the owner isn't stupid. He left the parking brake on.

Quite a List

Last month The List Universe posted the Top 10 Worst Products Ever. It was not meant to be one of those Ha-Ha inducing lists. This was dead serious. And it made me stop and think about what we consumers will buy. They started to disposable eating implements and disposable razors. They tackled diet products and self-help books and ab-machines on their way to #1:

Bottled Water

Bottled water is an utter waste of money and resources. To illustrate just how ridiculous a concept it is, I will demonstrate with Dasani Bottled Water. This product was created by Coca Cola and was marketed as superior bottled water. First of all, bottled water is a ridiculous concept in the western world where we all have easy access to tap water which is drinkable in most areas. Coca Cola wanted to be part of the ridiculous fad so they entered the bottled water market, but they simply filled their bottles with tap water! When the product was released in the UK it was a disaster. They used the slogan “bottled spunk” which may seem innocuous to the Americans who came up with the idea, but unfortunately in the UK “spunk” is a slang word for sperm. Just when you think it couldn’t get any worse, scientific testing of the bottled water showed traces of bromate - a carcinogen. Coca Cola had to withdraw half a million bottles of the water and they pulled the product from the UK market.

How sadly true; how very sad.

The Sixth Sunday of Epiphany

Mark 1:43-44 Jesus sent him away at once with a strong warning: "See that you don't tell this to anyone."

The Messianic Secret is how scholars have often referred to this type of statement from Jesus. "Don't tell anyone!"

It was also the theme of the book that gave eventual rise to the What Would Jesus Do? movement, the early 20th Century classic, Tell No Man."

Many have interpreted this in the light of Jesus knowing that it wasn't time yet for such revelations.

No one that I have ever heard has ever overtly applied this to the world today. "Let's keep Jesus a secret" is not preached anywhere that I know of. But we sure are tempted to live that way.

I know there are times and places when I don't talk about what I feel Jesus has done with me. I know there are times when I admit that I am a Christian, but you know, I don't want to go too overboard with that religion stuff.

But perhaps part of it, too, is that if we do act and live as Jesus would, we don't need to talk about him. Things will happen in our lives that will be part of the witness, part of who we are at the depth of our souls.

Yes, I know that can be a cop-out. It can be the easier softer way that ignores the reality and power of Jesus in our lives. But I also know that when Jesus does something for me like he did for the leper I will not keep quiet. I may not shout it from a housetop, but I will talk about it.

Which is, in the end, what gives evangelism, ministry and mission the power to help change lives, including our own, with The Word.

The Common Every-Day Stuff

The latest inanity brought to us by Facebook is that meme of the random 25 things. I have been reading a number of posts about how silly it is - and how snooze-inducing most of them are.

Really? What do we expect? Most of life is, well, life. It is common, every-day, normal, average, and far from the ordinary. Most of the posts, updates and comments on most of our Facebook walls are nothing more than the common chatter of life- background noise that we don't even pay attention to. Until now.

And we discover that for the moment at least we can't live without them.

Personally, I do enough of the inanity of 25 things on my daily posts here on the blog. I probably won't post that on my FB page. But I regularly check and post some of the un-important stuff on my FB page. I have found people I have been disconnected from for years. Some have surprised me with a FB invitation. I have surprised others.

What we discover is that it is in the everyday stuff that life is lived. It is how we do today and tomorrow that makes all the difference. The BIG THINGS don't happen very often. They are the surprises. But through stuff like FB we can discover the relationships and actions that really give our lives meaning.

Other people in relationship with us and others. The further into our technology we get, the more we discover the connections that help us stay grounded.

I Heart Love

Top Addictive Drugs

Stopdepressiontoday.com posted an article about the 18 most addicitve drugs in use around earth. According to the post

"In Health" magazine asked a team of experts to rank commonly used drugs by their potential for addiction. Two factors were used: how easily people become addicted, and how difficult it can be for people to quit. A score of 100 represents a high potential for addiction, 1 a low potential.

I won't reprint the whole list, but several of them are of interest- and from my experience are on target.

#18 Mescaline (16.72/100)

#14 Marijuana (21.16/100) Note that in spite of the low rating, marijuana can be highly addictive to a significant number of users. (And just as I started to write this, iTunes shuffled Bob Marley's By the Rivers of Babylon on the computer.)

#12 Caffeine (72.01/100)

#9 Heroin (81.80/100)

#8 Alcohol (81.85/100) Yes- more addictive than heroin!

#5 Valium (85.68/100) (I would say the general class of drugs- benzodiazepines, Valium's cousins etc. are really tough, and like alcohol can be deadly in withdrawal! Don't stop heavy, chronic use without medical support.)

#1 Nicotine (100/100) The "No-Surprise" #1 on the list. As one of the ads on TV for stopping says, "It's not just a habit; it's an addiction." Believe it. The tobacco companies know it and take every advantage they can.

Addiction is real. It is not "will-power" failing to work. It is deep in the brain's functioning. It hijacks some of the more primitive processes in your brain and won't let them go. Fortunately through various forms of therapy, counseling, and support it can be faced and overcome. Don't be afraid of doing something about it.

But with all mood-altering chemicals (including the low rated ones) watch out. You may not know what it will do to you. It's not worth it!

Paraskavedekatriaphobia

No, not a random collection of letters that look like they might mean something. It is actually a specialized form of triskaidekaphobia.

We have three times this year to remember this special word- today, in four weeks and again in November.

It is, as you might expect, the fear of Friday the 13th- and I don't mean the movie.

So shiver and fear, avoid ladders and black cats, and most of all, stay away from anyone named Jason.

200 Years: Still Binding the Nation's Wounds

"Let us have faith that right makes might, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it." Lincoln's Cooper Institute Address, February 27, 1860.

"I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal." The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume II, "Speech at Chicago, Illinois" (July 10, 1858), p. 502.

Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration." Lincoln's First Annual Message to Congress, December 3, 1861.

"The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country." Lincoln's Second Annual Message to Congress, December 1, 1862.

"...that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that this government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, November 19, 1863.

200 Years: And as Misunderstood as Ever

It is one of those connections of history that today is the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin as well as Abraham Lincoln.

I do not want to get into any debate on evolution, creation, or "intelligent" design. I continue to be flabbergasted that people of faith cannot see how God could not have set up a universe where evolution can work. I continue to be astounded that we cannot marvel at a world where perhaps evolution is just as much a miracle of the Creator as a Word spoken in once empty nothingness.

But then again, I firmly believe that a god small enough and simple enough for us to explain and understand is not a god but a figment of our imagination.

Give me the Creator any day and I will give thanks to that God for allowing men and women like Darwin to help us grow deeper in knowledge and awe.

Out of Nowhere

Went to the mailbox yesterday and found a letter from an old high school friend and classmate. He had been helping his mother clean out her stuff and came across the picture at the left from our hometown paper in November 1965. Yes, a 17-year old, pre-hippie era nerd. (As opposed to a 60-year old, post-hippie era nerd. See picture to the right.) Next to me is my aunt, my father's sister, who was my brother's and my guardian after our parents died. (Doesn't she look proud of me?)

Three things struck me. One was that in this picture my aunt was 62-years old. Not that much older than I am today. But she sure looks old (at least in my memory-version of the picture.) Even when we get older- our parents and older relatives look even older than we do at their age.

The second thing was the reminder that I am the tallest person in my family- even then. No, I am not a tall person. I look like it in this picture, but I am a mere 5'9". (And my aunt is looking up to at me.)

And third, at least in the intervening years I have learned how to smile.

Anyway, just thought I'd give all of you a good laugh.

This Year I Don't Care

A bit of non-news from the sports world:

Favre tells Jets he will retire after 18 seasons

Two Weeks to Go

Two weeks from today will be my surgery. I thought I was doing okay until Monday evening when I noticed that I was low on energy. At first I thought it was too much exercise over the weekend and Monday.

Nah. Sounded like denial to me when I thought it.

Then I realized that under the surface I have been starting to ponder the surgery more. I can't say I am worried, afraid, or anxious, but it is just starting to be a nagging sense of what is coming. I have not had a surgery since I had wisdom teeth pulled (and the resulting dry sockets and oral surgery) in late 1978 early 1979. Before that it was tonsils at age 10. This will be, for all practical purposes a whole new experience.

I can voice all the right ideas- powerlessness, trust, etc. But this will be a different way of seeing and feeling those. But it also means that I have to start practicing them now.

Lord, give me patience- and as quickly as possible.

Dig Out the Ice Cream

Why am I trying to lose weight if it will make me look older? This from Time.com:

It's a question surely as old as vanity itself: how can you look young forever? A forthcoming study in the journal Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery offers one surprising idea: as you age, don't be afraid to put on a few pounds. Fat, it turns out, can significantly smooth out wrinkles and give you a younger-looking face.

Now that you mention it I have noticed at the gym that the older guys who are thin and have obviously worked out a lot do look a lot older. Hmmmm.

Dangerous Idea

In yesterday's Star-Tribune they had an article about a local National Guard Band that is about to be deployed to Iraq.

As tensions ease in Iraq, the band will in part serve a diplomatic purpose. But military bands have been deployed to every war zone in American history. Up to five Army bands have been stationed in Iraq at any given time since the invasion.

It sure is a great thing- the power of music to boost morale and support the troops. But as they pointed out in the article, the musicians are soldiers first. That means they are all trained and ready for battle.

But, as a trumpet player, one little line jumped off the screen at me.

Trumpet players all carry pistols.

Now that is a scary thought! I am not sure I would trust most of the trumpet players I know with a pistol. We do enough damage with our horns.

He Was the One NOT Praying

Katie Couric had an interview on 60 Minutes with Capt. Sullenberger who piloted the US Airways plane into the Hudson River a few weeks ago. Here's part of it from the 60 Minutes website:

Asked if he at any point prayed, he told Couric, "I would imagine somebody in back was taking care of that for me while I was flying the airplane."

"My focus at that point was so intensely on the landing," he said. "I thought of nothing else."

Let's be honest. I would expect everyone on that plane, their family and friends and any of the rest of us are quite glad- and comfortable- with the idea that Capt. Sullenberger wasn't praying. It doesn't say anything about his faith or his trust in God and prayer. To him at that moment the Captain was relying on the talents and training God had given him and allowed him to develop.

One of the mistakes we often make about prayer is that we see it as a magic way out or the old stage trick of God out of the machine saving everyone in the end when it was all hopeless. Yes, that can happen. But as the Captain indicated, you do what you are trained to do. That is not a distrust of God. That is being part of God's creation and life.

In 12-Step programs it is called "doing the footwork." I have said before but this is a good time to say it again. If it is pouring rain outside I can pray that if I go outside that God keeps me dry. To which God would no doubt answer:

So take your umbrella.

Metal + Bluegrass = Grammy

Five Grammy Awards including Album and Record of the Year. Five for a mix from an original heavy metal musician and a bluegrass star.

Remarkable.

Which is what the album is. I bought it when it first came out and was mesmerized by the mixture of styles turning into a top quality album that almost has no one genre that it belongs to.

Last night the Grammy Awards recognized how amazing and powerful the album is. I am pleased.

I guess even at my age I still know good music!

Jesus Heals Peter's Mother-in-Law, James Tissot
Brooklyn Museum

Fifth Sunday of Epiphany

Jesus does the unexpected. He often turns our expectations upside down. Today's Gospel is no exception. My pastor commented that she found a number of different references to something that had never struck me before this morning. Jesus healed Peter's mother-in-law--

and then took Peter, who was probably her source of support and income, away.

So much for support of family.

That is one of those tensions in the Gospels that we don't often see, understand, or admit to its presence. It is the kind of thing that would get the cult deprogrammers on the lookout for old Simon and his friends who did the crazy thing of leaving the expected and understood for the new and exciting. I have a hunch that when God calls it isn't as nice and sentimental as we like to make it.

Sometimes we may even be called out of the church to do it.

Stop. Think. Think Again.

"Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it."
--Unknown

Take Cover

Mental Floss blog posted a Quick Ten today of some of the Most Covered Songs. Probably to no one's surprise #1 is Yesterday by Lennon and McCartney. It has been covered over 3,000 times. It is arguably one of the most famous and awesome of rock-era ballads and a great example of the overall musicality of The Beatles. Of the 10 listed, five are Beatles songs. They were quick to point out that this was not an exhaustive list, just some of the most covered.

I would be quick to point out that there was no Dylan song on the list. The Gershwin classic, Summertime was on the list. Since that one- definitely pre-rock-era- made the list I wonder where Duke Ellington's Take the "A" Train or the classic When the Saints Go Marching In would show up? On my iTunes, That last one has 21 different versions and Will the Circle Be Unbroken? has 20.

Of course, I think one of the most covered songs of all time is probably White Christmas but I think that one is in its own category.

Side-Effects

Back in early winter I started a program to build up some muscle groups that have been overlooked- namely the core muscles of abs and back. I started out with yoga. It was neat and a lot of fun. But the back problems I have were not helpful since most the poses and movements were standing. While I felt some benefit, the negatives were out-weighing the positives.

So I switched to Pilates. (No, not as I first thought, the name of the Roman Procurator of Jesus' time.) Actually it was mat pilates which meant that it was not standing up- at all. It is slow and truly does focus 100% on the core and peripheral muscles. It was a slow process but I kept at it. I began to notice that some of the stretches got a little easier. Three or four days a week I went to the pilates class over lunch.

Then one thing happened. Yesterday. At the end of the session when checking our limber-ness I reached over- and touched the floor with my finger-tips.

I realized that I am getting more limber (although the waist size doesn't seem to be going down.) I also realized that one of the most significant side-effects of all this will hopefully be an easier recovery from surgery in three weeks. I promised myself that I will do everything I can on this side of surgery to ease the recovery so I can get back on the bicycle as soon as possible when the weather warms up.

But there was one other un-intended side effect. Monday night at band practice I realized that my trumpet playing has changed. Part of it was that I seemed to have more power behind the sound- and as a result I didn't get tired as quickly. I guess it is true that when we begin to get in shape a lot of positive things can happen.

Bits and Pieces- Questionable PR

Perhaps the topic today is "How in the world can you miss THIS when vetting people?" along with other PR nightmares....

• Taxes

How tough can it be, especially when you are wealthy and can afford good accountants. Or maybe that is the problem. I have a hunch there will be better compliance in this year's tax collections on both sides of the aisle.

• The Holocaust

The Pope decides to remove the sanctions against a number of priests and then finds out he is a Holocaust denier. Germany doesn't deny it. The German-born Pope who knew the Nazi party up close doesn't deny it. Only an anti-Semite would.

• Church Hush Money

New Life Church, it seems, paid something that could be construed as hush money to a young man who former pastor Ted Haggard had taken advantage of one night. Only when Haggard is out on his redemption tour promoting a documentary does it come out.

• Ex-Governor Blago

On and on he goes, the Energizer Bunny of impeached politicians. Does he really believe what he says? Does he truly think that his words didn't mean what he said? Does he really believe we even care?

In Memoriam - Millard Fuller

ATLANTA — Habitat for Humanity co-founder Millard Fuller has died. He was 74.

One of the truly special, unique, and faithful organizations came from this man's vision. As a supporter (and worker) with different HFH chapters, I mourn his passing.

Well done, good and faithful servant.

A 50-Year Memory: Miss American Pie

February 3 - A chartered plane transporting musicians Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper goes down in foggy conditions near Clear Lake, Iowa, killing all 4 occupants on board, including pilot Roger Peterson. The tragedy is later termed "The Day the Music Died", popularized in Don McLean's 1972 song "American Pie".

Surrender

Give in. Give up. Cease fighting. Admit defeat.

Surrender.

After a certain point you know that things aren't going to get better unless you just stop. Turn around. Go a different direction. Pay attention to other ways.

Turn your will and life over to the care of God.

Let go and let God.

Pray only for knowledge of God's will and the power to carry it out.

All that is an introduction to the fact that I am finally surrendering to the possibility that surgery will improve my back situation. I almost had surgery way back in May 1994. It was canceled for a number of reasons, the strongest being that at the last minute the epidural steroid injection worked and the pain went away. Over the intervening 14 years several things have happened.

1) I have had periodic bouts of acute pain that have resulted in missed work and great discomfort and seven other times of injections in the past 9 years, including three in the past year.

2) The pain has also changed in the past 4 years to include numbness and tingling down my legs and in both feet to the point at times I need to stop when walking. I can't go another step as everything then tightens up. So I stop, get down on my haunches for 30 seconds and then move on.

3) The epidural injections are effective for shorter periods of time, 3-4 months, now, instead of years.

4) I am now almost 15 years older! That means a lot of things aren't working as well as they used to in spite of being in better shape than I was 15 years ago.

So I had a consult with the neurosurgeon last Tuesday, a week after my most recent injection. He says I am a candidate for surgery. The kind of issues I have - the numbness, weakness and tingling down both legs - respond quite well to surgery. These surgeons, by the way, have the well-earned reputation for conservative responses and a slow-to-operate mentality. So when he said that, I knew he was being honest. My own research supports that also.

The decision, made in consultation with my wife and my work supervisor is therefore to have the surgery- a laminectomy- on Wednesday, February 25. I will probably be in the hospital 2 days and, he says, back to work in about two weeks. (It helps I don't do anything physically demanding in my job.)

Yes, February 25 is Ash Wednesday. I am looking at this as a Lenten Journey from pain to healing. Which means that I will be blogging about it from that perspective. (You knew that was coming! Self-indulgent is a well-earned adjective.)

What has actually surprised me at this point is how easily and calmly I have made this decision. I know it is the right time. The problems- most specifically the numbness, etc.- have been limiting of things I want to do. I want to go on trips but feel like I can't walk far enough. I want to hike places where my bicycle can't go, but I can't walk that far. I even want to be able to walk to work (about 3/4 mile) on beautiful spring, summer, and fall mornings but it is beyond my ability. I want to go back to the Boundary Waters but portages are too hard on my walking.

Yes, I know it might not work and that I will have to find new ways to deal with the issues. But I will never know if I don't do it.

That in a nutshell is what's happening. I will keep you posted- keep me in your prayers. It should be interesting- another of Barry's adventures.

We Should Be That Lucky

The groundhog saw his shadow. There will be six more weeks of winter.

Gee that only gets us as far as mid-March. Guess it's going to be an early spring in these parts.

In my dreams.

One To Get Ready

I have to agree with Donald Miller that this may very well be one of the best Super Bowl Ads ever. (Just a thought to whet your whistle..)

Figures de la Bible (1728)

The Fourth Sunday of Epiphany

Mark 1:21-28 They went to Capernaum, and when the Sabbath came, Jesus went into the synagogue and began to teach. The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law. Just then a man in their synagogue who was possessed by an evil[a] spirit cried out, "What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!"

"Be quiet!" said Jesus sternly. "Come out of him!" The evil spirit shook the man violently and came out of him with a shriek.

This gospel story reminds us not to give more power to the presence of evil than is warranted; obsessing over chaos can breed it. Rather, the story challenges us to confront evil where we find it. The demons—by whatever form or name we know the presence of disorder—fight hardest when we, like Jesus, look them in the face. But this is what depletes evil of its power. It cannot bear being named, challenged, called out.
--The Painted Prayerbook