All But Ready

All the tests are done- I had a final MRI this morning.

• Did you know that the scanning takes about 20 minutes of noise?
• Did you know that the fourth of the scans sounds like The Who in their intro vamp to Won't Get Fooled Again without the chord changes and in an endless, mind-numbing loop? (CSI anyone?)
  

I met with the surgeon this afternoon.

I called the surgery scheduling line as required and am told that I am to be at the hospital by 5:45 (a.m.) with surgery, well, anytime after that. I am told that I may even be out of the hospital by sometime in the afternoon on Thursday- depending on my ability to walk and do other very basic things. Probably no later than Friday if things go smoothly.

The past couple days have been, as my wife says, pulling into my shell. I call it turning inward pondering powerlessness and letting go of the need (or ability) to control. As a friend of mine wrote me this morning:

Adventure begins where control ends – and being wheeled away to surgery [is] a big-time where-control-ends experience.

Yes, it is another pmPilgrim adventure.

At this point the nerves are beginning to act up a little. I have tried to talk myself out of it a couple of times since, after all, it is not an essential surgery. I don't want to get worse and I don't want it to continue. I am too young to stop moving around and have too many things I want to be able to do. But that, too, is where the control ends. All I can do is what I can do. I choose to put myself in the hands of the surgeon; I choose to attempt to get back a higher quality of life.

I am grateful that I am able to do it. I know there are many in the world who couldn't do this even if they wanted to. So I ask for your prayers. I have set up a number of posts for the next number of days so as not to break my unbroken string of posts. Will be back with more thoughts and my usual ramblings sooner than later.