Tuning Slide 4.45- Being Free #1

Weekly Reflections on Life and Music

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.


Confucius

Last week I re-told the story of how I got stuck on a Memorial Day 50 some years ago. It held me under its control for nearly 50 years. Every now and then I would break through a little, but only in the past six to eight years have I been able to break out of it and begin ever so slowly to move forward.

This happened in my career as a pastor when I moved from the church where I had started as a “student” pastor to my second congregation and became a “real” pastor. I discovered confidence and my own gifts. It happened again in my early career as a counselor. When I was able to do things more naturally as a counselor, I knew I had moved into a new place.

Why did it take so long with my music? It’s hard to know, but for some reason my trumpet playing always sat there in the background, while I quietly wished I could do something about it. I did not face it, until finally, I did. I never stopped playing, but I didn’t advance. So I recently went digging into how people get past those stuck points. When you reach that kind of plateau or wall, how can one break through?

I came across a website/blog called Planet of Success that calls itself a “ community designed to inspire you to live a successful life full of joy, meaning, and happiness.” I found there a post about ten powerful ways to free yourself when feeling stuck. Steve Mueller, the founder of Planet of Success, tagged the post as “comfort zone” and “limiting beliefs.” Looking at his post I knew he had presented some good insights that showed how I managed to get unstuck in my careers- and then in my music. So in this and the next three weeks, I will look at these 10 ways to get free- and stay that way.

First, so you know where we are going, here are the ten.

1. Face your fears
2. Break your routine
3. Effect change, one step at a time
4. Overcome the perception of impossibilities
5. Be honest with yourself
6. Change your perspective
7. Differentiate between feeling and fact
8. Avoid blaming others
9. Stop comparing yourself to others
10. Stop making excuses
11. Be grateful for what you have

I will look at only the first three this week in my normal way of presenting some of the original ideas and adding my riff to it. My riffs will be in italics.

1. Face your fears
✓ People are unable to move forward because they are afraid.

At some point in life, we simply became afraid of going any further…. We gave in to our fears. We allowed fear to stop our progress in life.

Everyone on this planet, and I mean really everyone, has fears. It’s not something to be ashamed of. … There’s no need to be afraid of failure. Be concerned about not having the courage to try.

In my case, my fear was that I would fail. No, my fear was I knew would fail- I was convinced I wasn’t as good as I used to think I was and people might find that out. I put everything into hiding that. In my careers, I managed to overcome that because I was able to put in all the 10,000 hours needed for expertise. I was afraid of doing that with my trumpet.

2. Break your routine
✓ Feeling stuck in life can be the result of unhealthy and restraining routines.

Developing a routine can be quite beneficial. It helps you to keep moving when the going gets tough…. Moving on in life, however, requires us to break the existing structures from time to time. … Break restricting routines whenever they need to be broken.

Actually, I had no routine to break; it was the lack of one that kept me from growing. In reality, my routine was simply to avoid confronting my personal status quo and to accept my inappropriate self-judgment. My pattern of avoidance was finally overcome only by ending up in a big band and quintet in addition to a regular concert band. It was the first time I was willing to open myself to something different. It was difficult at first. I had to learn the whole new language of actually playing jazz. I also had to move away from my comfort zone and be more visible in a quintet. That became a new routine that eventually led to even more change.

3. Effect change, one step at a time
✓ If you’re feeling stuck in life, it’s important to overcome that which prevents you from moving forward.

It’s better to tackle one problem after another than half-heartedly trying to address everything simultaneously. Not only will the sheer size of the problem overwhelm you, but it could also make you reluctant to truly free yourself.

Just don’t be too hard on yourself. Try to stick to one problem until it is solved. One problem after another. This way you can affect positive changes in your life step-by-step.

At first, I didn’t know what I was changing other than finding new things to play in new ways. Small steps, playing 4th part in the big band, beginning to practice more often with the quintet pieces. I then decided to take some lessons. Simple. Back to basics reminders. One small step that at the same time expanded my horizons.

We will expand on these ideas in the next three weeks. These are the starting points for any change that we hope to be successful in.
Start small:

◦ What is a fear you need to confront?
◦ What in your current routine may be holding you back? (Note that it is not necessarily the routine, but how you perceive it. That’s a hint of what’s to come.)
◦ What can you change in the next week to begin the small, but important change?