Defeating the Demons

I had my own "super bowl" win this past week along with my Packers.

I have had difficulty playing solos since, well, since I graduated from high school quite a few decades ago. I have continued to play trumpet all these years. I have played solos in church, duets with organ, that kind of thing. But I have seemed to have this innate ability to screw something up in the middle of it. A slurpped note, a few too many cracks in the sound, losing a beat or what have you.

Over the past year I have had several opportunities to solo in a song our Big Band does on a semi-regular basis. I play it well, hitting it right-on in rehearsals. But come the performance? Nope. It has happened three or four times. But, thanks to the group, they kept encouraging me.

Monday evening at our most recent gig I just laid back, kept it relaxed and got it right. For the first time in a long time I hit it- I was in the right groove and slid right through it.

After we were done, one of the other trumpet players, knowing my history with it, congratulated me. He then said,

You felt it instead of fearing it.

That sums it up. I know tensing up is not good. I know that in order to be "in the groove" you have to feel it, lean into it, let it take you as you go with it. Finally I was able to do it.

That is also a pretty good summation of how to deal with life as well. Feel it, lean into it, let it take you as you go with it. Anything else will only lead us into fear.