Meditation on Forgiveness

Forgiveness

                A difficult word; hard to define and

                Harder to live.

Forgiveness, like acceptance is not

                Condoning actions or

                Being a doormat.

It is a freedom word, a liberation from the

                After-effects of actions that the other may

                Have no idea they did or that they

                Need to be forgiven for.

So I look in the mirror when I start to think about

                Forgiveness.

It doesn’t hurt.

I look in the mirror and

                Remember

                The times I needed to be

Forgiven and didn’t even know it.

                Events,

                                Actions,

                                                A sly smirk

                Or smart word that hurt someone.

I don’t easily remember those.

                My memory becomes selective remembering instead

When those happened to me. 

When I was hurt.

But behind me, more reflections

                Of others- friends and acquaintances,

                Strangers and family.

I realize they have often forgiven me.

                I hope they have, anyway.

Maybe I will know only when I find it

                Possible to forgive others-

                So I am not consumed by

                Fear, hate or resentment.

As a Christian I wonder then if we Christians really believe that

                God truly forgives and

                Wipes us white as snow?

  

                Or, worse, that we don’t believe WE are

Forgiven. Scared to come into a holy God’s presence since

                We are not worthy. We are NOT worthy.

We are unforgiven.

Then perhaps if we do not believe OUR forgiveness is possible,

                How can we even think about

                Forgiving others?

                So, we are willing to let God do ALL the

Forgiving of others

While we go on holding tight to the

                Grudges and resentments and judgments of others

Waiting for THEM to get their come-uppance.

Yet forgiveness is at the soul-filled center of my faith.

                Without it the central doctrines make

                No sense.

To forgive is to affirm life as more

Than a mere possibility-

It is to affirm life as

Reality.