"News" You Probably Missed

The Lark News does for religious news what The Onion does for the rest of the information world. Without it we would never know about:

• After arguing with his brother for the third straight day during class time, Jared Francis, 10, was suspended from homeschool and banished to a backyard tent.


• Connection Metro Church, which used its foyer coffee bars to attract visitors to its eight satellite churches in the Denver area, has decided to abandon ministry altogether to focus on coffee. Many in the congregation seem downright relieved. "The sermons were okay, but the vanilla frappes were dynamite," says one woman who regularly attended the church for two years so she could enjoy the special brews.


• Minn. man found to be God’s favorite :: OWATONNA, Minn — Bill Halberstam, a 33-year-old human resources manager, has been identified by theologians as God’s new favorite person on the planet, the latest in a line that reaches all the way back to John the Beloved.

But lest you think it is all news, there are practical tools there are well including the beta version of their Lark News Lot Caster for those decisions that only God can make for you and for those busy Sunday mornings at church they have their exclusive Pew and Parking Reservations maker.

Now all they need is the menu for the coffee bar at your local church.