A Rockin' New Theme Park

A new tourist trap theme park has opened:

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C (AP). - The Led Zeppelin classic "Whole Lotta Love" throbs from the 1,200-watt sound system as the slick silver and white roller coaster nears the top of its serpentine track.

Lead singer Robert Plant shrieks, "Woman. You need. Loooooooove..." And as he does, riders scream as the car falls from a height of 155 feet, reaching speeds of 65 mph.

Welcome to Hard Rock Park, America's newest theme park and the first one built in the nation in a decade. Here the theme is not movies or fairy tales or water shows. It's that American invention, rock 'n' roll.

But can I ride "The Stairway to Heaven?" Or fly the "Free Bird?" Maybe they should be cautious, because we all know it's hard to get "Satisfaction." At least near the ocean so the workers can live in a "Yellow Submarine" and set up rides "Under the Boardwalk."

According to the article you can eat at "Alice's Restaurant" (exceptin' Alice) and take the "Nights in White Satin Trip." But be careful on the roads going there because many of the patrons "Can't Drive 55." But you can drive your Chevy to the levee but it will be dry, then take a walk across the "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" and finally just relax while "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay."

Okay- I'll stop. (But Imagine the limitless potential for Respect.)