Wanting the Mountain Forever

It has been a tough week. We got back from vacation and I had to go back to work. Then I felt like I was getting sick (and have felt that way on and off all week.) Wednesday was the bridge collapse and many of us here in the Twin Cities have certainly had a sense of grief and shock. It was our bridge, of course. Then along comes my birthday. I am 59. Starting my 60th year. A sense of time passing really has come powerfully home in the past few weeks. I haven't had this kind of birthday feeling since I turned 35.

Through all this was a project that I finished up a few weeks ago that didn't end the way I had hoped. In the past week I became aware that part of what that means is that opportunities change and I have to look in different ways and with a different perspective than I would have in the past.

In other words this was a week of having to think about not getting stuck in the past, of being willing and ready to move on to new adventures and not getting stuck in old dreams that may or may not be appropriate anymore.

Then I look at the church calendar and see that this is the Sunday before the Transfiguration. The story of Jesus taking Peter, James, and John up the mountain where they have a remarkable experience. Needless to say they didn't want to leave. They wanted to stay and bask in the good feelings forever. The "Mountaintop Experience."

Then it's gone. They had to go back to daily life which is where we have to live out our faith and our dreams and our attempts at following Jesus. Preachers have preached this for years. We have talked about not trying to recreate the experiences of the past. We have urged people to trust that God will walk with them in the experiences of life and provide all the "experiences" they ever need.

But when things don't work the way we want them to; when life takes a sharp turn; when we get challenged by mortality- then we all want to go back to some mountain top or some "better" time. It's almost as if at those moments we - I - don't want to move on. I forget that God has been there before- why should I doubt that God will be there again.

Life is not a mountain top, nor is it a deep dark valley. It is both. We walk through each knowing we are not alone.