On Final Goodbyes
We all said goodbye to our friend, Sue, on Saturday. It was a remarkable service of celebration and memory. We sang and sang, listened to scripture and music, and then sang some more. We ended with the Easter liturgy- and then sang Hallelujah, Praise the Lord.

The church was full- as expected. The tears and the laughter flowed- also as expected. Pain was lessened by being with others. Stories were shared to strengthen all our memories of our remarkable friend.

A number of weeks ago in the series about what I would do if I went back into the parish ministry I wrote about an experience I had as a pastor with only a handful of people standing in a wind-driven cemetery. The role of the pastor at that moment, I said, was the ancient one of spiritual leader- shaman, in some traditions- showing the way into the next life, reminding us who remain here that there is more to all of life than meets the eye.

Memorial services and funerals are the flip side of that same coin. I was Googling around the Internet last week and came across a site from Israel about Jewish burial customs. I nodded my head in agreement as I read the following:

[I]n order to achieve [our] most human goals, man must be part of a group. Without the group structure, human achievement is virtually impossible. Human groups include parents, teachers, friends, neighbors, etc. We see in the course of our daily routine the importance of individual roles within the group. A case in point is our daily bread. Even before processing begins, workers are needed to plant, tend, water and harvest the wheat. The processing, until actual purchase, involves many more workers to knead, bake, package and ship the product until it actually arrives on our shelves. All this for just plain bread - imagine how much more is involved in the production of raisin bread!

The Talmud states that if a person were required to carry out all the tasks necessary for his existence by himself, he would have time to do nothing else! Therefore, the Creator, in his infinite goodness, created a group structure for mankind. The group allows man the freedom and flexibility to pursue varied and individual goals. Without group membership, it would be virtually impossible for man to develop his characteristics and fulfill individual needs and desires. This is in contrast to the animal kingdom. An animal is created in a manner which allows it to fend for itself, on its own, with no thought to future material needs and surely no spiritual goals. Its survival instincts are part of its divinely-designed nature. How does all the above relate to the European woman and her inappropriately festive funeral?

One function of a funeral is to allow us to be together with the deceased one last time. We should focus our thoughts on the strength we derived from the deceased. The contribution which he made to the group we have discussed, allowed the rest of us in the group to grow and accomplish in many areas. We must now seek a replacement for a vital part of our group structure which is now gone.
--Source: Shema Yisrael Torah Network

Funerals are not about death- they are about life- our human life. Memorial Services are not about sadness but about the possibility of a God who brings us joy and love and hope- no matter what. They remind us of the part we play together in life. They remind us of what we have learned from the one whose life we remember at that service. They remind us that no matter what- there is nothing in heaven, on earth, or under the earth that can ever separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ.

Yes, we continue to mourn. Yes, we are sad beyond description at times. But the word is that this is not the end. God does not leave us separated and alone.

Thanks be to God who gives us the victory in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Note: For any of you who knew Sue and would like to post a story or memory, you can go to the Remembering Sue blog to read what's there. If you have a comment, just click on the comment link there and leave a note. We will then post it to the blog.