Lack of Control on My Part

Brother Maynard at Subversive Influence often begins his random links post with jokes. As a sucker for these kind of jokes I feel compelled to share them with you. Don't worry. I keep trying to control such urges.

• Why didn’t the little girl want to leave nursery school? She wanted to be a nurse.
• Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines…
• Why does a chicken coop have only two doors? If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
• What do you call epileptic lettuce? Seizure salad.
• Patient to psychiatrist: “I keep wanting to cover myself in gold paint.” Psychiatrist: “Sounds like you have a gilt complex.”
• What do you call a dead magician’s assistant? An abracadaver.
• How do spies send secret messages in a forest? By moss code.
• A middle eastern king was down on his luck, so began to sell off his valuables. The last to go was the Star of the Euphrates, at that time the most valuable diamond in existence. He went to a pawnbroker, who offered him 100,000 Rials for it. “Are you crazy?”, exclaimed the king. “I paid one million Rials for this gem! Don’t you know who I am?” The pawnbroker looked at the king and replied, “When you wish to pawn a star, makes no difference who you are.”