An Interlude- Dark Night Reactions and Actions

Time for another interlude post in the Dark Night of the Soul.  It has gotten darker for me.

We were sitting in a diner the other evening, the evening the circuit court upheld the stay in the immigration ban. Fox News was on the TV and, while the sound was off, the trailer and closed-captions weren’t. You could see in the faces where some of the news people were going. At the same time the trailer was telling of an Iranian official calling it the “blessed ban” because it proves that the United States hates Muslims.

“The judiciary will save us,” my wife said. The separation of powers that is a basic of our governmental life will hold Trump accountable.

“Unless there is a terror attack by someone from one of these countries before it is resolved,” was my pessimistic response. “Then it will all be the fault of these, as Trump calls them, ‘so-called’ judges.”

“Yes,” was all she could say.

I put my forehead in my hands and wondered if I could give up news for Lent this year?

I am tired. Sick and tired. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. This just can’t be happening.

Corinna Barrett Lain, a professor at University of Richmond School of Law, had an opinion column in the Richmond Times-Dispatch last Monday. It started this way:

Let me guess — you are physically and emotionally exhausted. You aren’t sleeping well. You find it difficult to concentrate.

And you are stressed by a torrent of events: attacks on the press, the appointment of a man associated with neo-Nazis as chief strategist to the president (and now as a member of the National Security Council), the endorsement of torture, a ban on all refugees and citizens of select majority-Muslim countries from entering the United States, the firing of the acting attorney general who refused to defend the ban, a Holocaust remembrance statement that omitted any reference to Jews, fights with our neighbors and closest allies, and most recently, denigration of a federal judge.

So. Many. Things. It’s enough to suck the lifeblood out of us — and that may be the point. (Link)

These are what have been called “shock events.” They are things that happen too fast for us to process them and cause us to become worn down. We can’t keep up with the seemingly endless series of “shock events” that make us forget the one that came before. It feels like being buried alive.

There are two types of “shock events” and both cause disruption and change. The first is the event that comes out of  nowhere, the “black swans” of history. Pearl Harbor and 9/11 are two examples. They cause things to happen because they are so raw and unexpected. Wise (or cunning) politicians can use these type of shock events to get change to happen- quickly. The Gulf of Tonkin incident in August 1964, whether actual or turned into more than it was, could be seen as one as well. This is where my concern about the next potential terrorist attack comes from. Under current settings, such an event could easily turn into a need to set up some form of martial law, extreme police measures or the like in order to protect national security. Fingers will be pointed- at Democrats, at liberals, at judges, at Muslims. It could be very devastating to American democracy.

Which leads to the other type of “shock events.” These are purposely done in order to keep people off-balance. That exhaustion Professor Lain spoke of comes easily from a string of events, any one of which is unsettling, which when taken together become overwhelming. Like a dark night without end.

I had been doing well until this week, until now when it all piled up again. Last week in the post on the Dark Night I talked about the series of conversations I was having with a supporter of Mr. Trump and his policies. I felt positive about the way we had both handled it.

We both were open to trying to move from stereotypes and talking points to at least a little more substance. For example:

Trump Supporter: Democrats didn’t win. They are mad that a Republican is in office.
Me: No. Much of what is happening is not because a Republican won. Many feel Trump is not qualified to be president. It’s not that Democrats lost- it is the nature of the person who won! We are afraid of what he says he will do- and what he is doing. This would not be happening this way if any other GOP candidate had won, except maybe Ted Cruz.
TS: A nod of agreement about Cruz and then of some type of understanding.

 Another discussion:

TS: What about these liberals sitting down in the middle of highways. They deserve to get run over. What they are doing is against the law.
Me: (Admittedly a little sarcastically) Yes, but so was dumping tea in Boston Harbor illegal.
TS: That’s different.
Me: No it’s not. By definition civil disobedience is illegal. If you do it you have to be willing to go to jail.
TS: Ok.
Me: But running the protestors over with a car is also illegal. (He had thought that was what the drivers should do.)

We spent time reviewing what for me is Civics 1- the separation of powers- co-equal branches of government. He didn’t know what I was talking about.

TS: The constitution gives the president the right to protect national security.
Me: Yes, but not if what he is doing is either illegal or unconstitutional.
TS: But the president is the one who decides that. Not the courts.
Me: But the courts decide if what is done is illegal or unconstitutional. That's the way our system works. We have three equal parts of the government. The president is not free to do whatever he wants. He can be challenged in court.
TS: That way the president can’t become a dictator. OK. (It was a statement, not a question!)

I was always honest about my own personal opinions of Mr. Trump and what he has been doing. I didn’t go into all the sordid details as a way of pounding my listener. I was not out to overwhelm him, I was out to listen to him and respond in helpful ways, not pushing him away. We were not debating. We were discussing the issues in real time and with honesty.

I expressed my concerns about Trump- and he responded with his. He said that what he wants most is for Obamacare to be fixed (not repealed!), that we as a country are safe, and that we regain some of our jobs that have been lost to other countries. We did not go into depth on the jobs issue, having had other events come up that sidetracked us.

I saw this as a good paradigm for what I could possibly do in my own one-on-one conversations with other Trump supporters. Unfortunately I don’t know many of those. Of the few I do know, only one couple has been open to these conversations before this. But maybe that’s good enough for now.

But as all that has gone on, we are still only three weeks, repeat only three weeks, into the Trump Presidency. We will not survive the continuing onslaught of shock events. We will be tempted to roll over and give up. Which is why I continue to write this series on the dark night.

What happens when I am not able to control the events that are causing this dark night? What am I to do to keep myself from gong crazy? What am I to do to prevent my physical and emotional energy from being sucked dry by events and situations like the past three weeks?

One obvious direction is one I have talked about many times before, and have lived for over 28 years- accepting my powerlessness and doing what I can do in my own way. Yes, but….

There is always that damned “yes, but…” In those two words I am taking back my control over things which I ultimately have no control over. Which is what I will try to get back to in the next Dark Night post. The causes of our Dark Night may be beyond our control, but if it is to have a meaning and hope, we must find the ways to keep moving forward.

But that’s next. For now let me return to Professor Lain:

How to fight back? The first step — and it is a critical one — is to recognize that the phenomenon is happening. That would explain why we have heard politicians sympathetic to Trump telling us to take a chill pill, “stay off the caffeine,” relax. We are starting to catch wind of what is going on here, and those perpetrating the chaos and invested in its success are threatened. They need us to stay distracted by the upheaval. They need us dazed, divided and confused.

The entire point of shock events is to prevent people from coming together, to prevent the democratic discourse from working.

So it is time to recognize that reality, and resist it — that’s step two. It is time for progressives to stop viewing conservatives as the people who voted us into this mess. And it is time for conservatives to stop viewing progressives as poor sports who are just mad because they lost the election.

Wake up, America. The real enemies are not one another. The enemy is the emerging autocracy of Donald Trump, and that should scare us all.
(Link)

I respond to that. It was what I was trying to do in those four weeks of conversations with a Trump Supporter. I kept trying to stay focused on the fact that we are all in the same boat. We are all Americans and we need to see what is happening to all of us. When some Trump supporters get “buyer’s remorse,” when they realize they have been hoodwinked by his promises, when things (hopefully) become clear, we need to be together! It will not be helpful for an I told you so to come out of our lips. It will need to be something we have been unable to do in this whole divisive campaign now going on for a number of years; we need to say to each other, “I understand! Let’s work on this together."

One final comment from Professor Lain, her closing paragraph in her article:

 I know you are tired, that’s the very point. But even in our highly polarized polity, what unites us is still much greater than what divides us. We are in the twilight moment, shaken by shock events and fearful of the shadow they are casting. Our task now is to recognize that fact, and come together to avoid becoming unwitting victims of the dark.
(Link)

Can Both Sides be Right?

Two people can see the same thing, 
disagree, and yet both be right. 
It's not logical; it's psychological.
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

I came across this Covey quote when doing some research the other day. I wondered how we could interpret this, especially in light of the incredible division we have seen develop from the recent elections. As I said about myself a few days ago, many people are still feeling shell-shocked at the tone and style of the campaign. The ongoing debate over possible Russian hacking of the election is like living in a time-warp of irrational thoughts.

I know the old parable of the blind men and the elephant. If any individual blind man only touched one part of the elephant- trunk, leg, tusk, etc.- that person would have a very limited understanding of the word "elephant." That was always a good way of teaching that you have to get the "big picture" and to not let one small part of the picture or story determine the answer. There is such a thing as perspective, of course. Here are two examples:

First, is it a pretty woman
or an ugly woman?

Second, is it a square or a circle?

We could also dig into quantum physics and ask if light is a wave or a particle- and the answer, as in the above examples, would be "Both."

Does that mean there is no such thing as "Truth"? We have been told we are living "post truth." Can we all be equally right- and therefore- all be equally wrong? It might be easier if we all took the position that we are equally wrong, but that would certainly fly in the face of many millennia of human activity and responses.

To be honest, I really don't have an easy answer to the question. Anything that comes out will sound self-contradictory- or mystical or who knows what. Part of me insists that there are things which are truth that cannot- and should not- be put up for debate. Just because I believe the earth is physically flat doesn't mean it is.

On the other hand, I also am aware that there is such a thing as relative truth, subjectivity vs. objectivity, paradox. As a Christian, this holiday season is a vivid reminder of such an inexplicable paradox. We say that at Christmas God became a human being in the form of a tiny, helpless baby. About as easy to wrap my mind around as light being waves and particles.

What does Stephen Covey mean then? Well, he is talking about personal change, not issues of truth or falsehood. He is talking about looking at myself and changing my perspective. He is suggesting that each of us needs to be wary of hardening our perceptions into reality. Like the quote from Henry Ford- Whether you think you can, or you think you can't—you're right. That's turning perception into truth.

It could also be called ideology, or politics, or religion, or one of hundreds of ideas that we fight over as people. So

1. I am finding it hard to keep in mind that there are pieces of my arguments that might be wrong. 
2. I am finding it just as hard to keep in mind that there are pieces of other people's arguments that might be right. 

Which of those two statements you pick up on will depend on whether you agree or disagree with me on my politics, etc.

• Only when we can begin to accept both these statements, can we begin to make any headway into clearing the political damage we have been doing to our democracy in the past years.
• Only when we can begin to accept both these statements, can we begin to make headway into dealing with resentments, anger and dissatisfaction.
• Only when we can begin to accept both these statements, can we begin to make headway into overcoming racism, religious hatred, and discrimination.

Your Patriotism? Mine? How About Ours!

When I look across many posts on Facebook, especially around national holidays like Memorial Day, it would be easy to get the idea that only those on the right-wing are patriotic, only Republicans truly care for the country, and only those who served in the military are the truest patriots. On top of that, "liberals" are out to undermine the country, tear it apart, make it into a third-class nation. They don't care about veterans or the future of the "average American."

So I looked up the definition of patriotism:

love for or devotion to one's country.

Pretty basic. It says nothing about being in 100% agreement on issues. It says nothing about being liberal or conservative. It says nothing about serving in the military. It says nothing except that a patriot has love for one's country.

Now I realize that calling an opponents patriotism into question is an age-old political tactic. It has been used shamelessly for  centuries. It has been used to undermine, libel, persecute (and at times kill) those who have differing opinions.

It has been, at many times, disgraceful, mean, and unpatriotic. Yes, I said that. If my patriotism is dependent on putting your understanding down, then my patriotism does not support the democratic ideals and values that built this nation. In that case, I am not very patriotic! Yet we see that all the time. We attack, we point fingers, we put others into a place of "them" which means we don't have to listen to them. We don't have to dialogue with them if they are obviously unpatriotic and therefore not worth much.

How sad.

Liberals get moved by seeing the flag or singing (or playing) the Star Spangled Banner.

Liberals eyes tear up while standing on the hill at Arlington Cemetery at the thought of the veterans who served and died.

Liberals are just as much real Americans as anyone else.


Let's just stop this insanity. If anything is tearing this country apart it is our intense actions that divide us! It will not be ISIS or Al-Qaeda that cause us the most problem. In our day-in and day-out relations with each other it will be how we treat each other- and especially those who disagree with us. It will be in our using our "party lines" as human barriers to working together.

Sorry- that will not cut it in this world we live in. Never did, but it's more dangerous now.

Facebook and the Elections

Some insights occurred to me during the evening and day after the election. I realized that one of the big problems with putting issues out on the Facebook page is that it doesn't invite dialogue, at least not in the ways we usually think of that word. When someone publishes some meme or picture that has a particular political position behind it, it usually does not include any background information, supporting evidence or even any nuance of meaning. It becomes an "In-Your-Face" statement. It is presented as the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Even if we believe this is so, it sure shuts down the hope of dialogue- or raises the hackles and defenses on the other side.

Here's an example of a meme that was on Facebook (and which I personally DID share on my page):

The statements on this meme are from a standpoint of a liberal Democrat, which I am. I read this and think, "Right on! That's saying it!" At the same time I make all kinds of distinctions in my own mind such as:

• Of course not all Republican voters believe these the way they are stated.
• Of course some of these are over-simplified in order to make the point
• Of course the GOP leadership may not believe all these, but have to agree for party unity

I am making a lot of individual distinctions, even with what I accept in the meme. I "know" that all the statements in this meme are "true" because there are enough instances in different places across the country where these stances HAVE been taken by Republican legislators, congressmen, governors, and candidates.

But all I or any of us do in a FB post is put the picture out there. Period. No discussion, no explanation, none of the nuances I myself think about when I read it. What choice do I have, other than to NOT post it?

Looking at the original site of the post, one person made the comment that the meme was "taking a faction and applying it's idiosyncrasies to the whole." Which is a statement I wholeheartedly agree with.


A quick look at any of our FB news feeds will see many of these memes out there. Do I want to limit my - or your - posts to the innocuous and inane, of which FB has more than enough of? No! So why post them? How do we use these to enhance dialogue rather than shut it down?

I tried to dialogue when one of my friends challenged the meme and what it said. That person rightly pointed out from their own beliefs that the over-generalization of the statements and/or the extreme nature of their approach didn't make sense.

I react the same way when I see a GOP or Tea Party-type post I disagree with. What I have done at times with those is make a comment to the effect that dialogue might give a broader understanding. Most of the rest of the time I ignore them because I don't want to get into the politics.

I am grateful, though, that my friends felt able to challenge what was posted and ask what I really meant by that. I don't think I answered that question too well, which is why, in the end I am posting this here (with a link on my FB page.)

So why would I post such a meme knowing the nuances I have already described?

First, because the stands taken by a significant number of GOP leaders in different parts of the country HAVE taken these stands and I am convinced personally that they need to be challenged. (Yes, Democratic leaders have the same inconsistencies and lack of logic that Republican leaders have. Politics is an equal-opportunity insanity!)

Second, I post these because I am inviting others to think about what they say. As a result, then, you and I have to take a look at our own beliefs and what is the truth or truths I hold dear? I know of no candidate that has ever been in 100% alignment with my views. If the disconnect is too great I won't vote for that candidate. This also helps me and others to define what is important and even why.

Third, I post these because I hope that those who read it and disagree with it will also understand that people of good faith and understanding can have polar opposite views without being "ignorant" or "unpatriotic" or "anti-American." Again those are the words the extremists use and not those that friends have used on my pages. I am grateful that my friends who disagree with me have been willing to dialogue with me in the admittedly poor medium of FB posts.

Facebook is not a particularly great way to do that. (Twitter with its character count is even worse!) But if we can learn to listen to each other, challenge each other with care, and be willing to listen to each other, maybe we can at least keep the dialogue going in our country.