Short Reflection on 44 Years

September 15, 1974,
Grace Moravian Church,
Center Valley, PA

I was ordained into the ministry of the Moravian Church.

Not what would have been expected just slightly more than 13 years earlier when I had my Bar Mitzvah. (God can have an incredible sense of humor.)

For the next 30 years I served four different congregations and then took a leave of absence, then retirement, to move into the world beyond the church. I was already working very part-time as an alcohol and drug counselor, but decided it was time to make that my full-time work. As I said a few years later, I finally heard God calling me into ministry outside the church.

I am still at that ministry of addiction counseling! Back in the 1970s days I used to say that the older pastors should retire when they got to 65. They had earned the rest; they should relax and enjoy life. That kneeling 26-year old in the picture had no idea what he was talking about. I am now 70- and still working. Admittedly it is on an as-needed basis. But for the past four months that has been 40 hours per week. I have no thought of hanging it up. I like what I am doing, although admittedly the 40-hour grind can get a little much. I'm now at 20 hours/week.

But it is always and forever about being there for people. That's what ministry means to me. Over the years I have asked many non-clergy about how they "do ministry" in their daily jobs. Most were not able to answer me because they saw ministry as the work of the clergy. What I do now is not done because I am an ordained pastor (Ret.) Nor is it a job. It is an expression of who I am and what I have received and experienced from God, as I understand God.

It all officially began in that moment pictured above. After 44 years, it is no less exciting. And I still have so much to learn.

Detecting Precious Metals

The beach person that most intrigued me last week was the gentleman who slowly walked up the beach with a metal detector. They are quite common. I assume they are looking for metal that someone has dropped out of a pocket or whatever.

Once in a while I see someone with a metal detector being pulled from their own walk to help someone find something. The crew who was putting the beach chairs out for the season corralled a passing metal seeker to walk around to find something that was lost. It took about ten minutes but it was a successful job.

The usual pattern, though, is the slow walk up the beach, the detector at the end of a wand that is slowly moved back and forth in front of the walker. Headphones are used to transmit a sound of detected metal. When that happens the prospector stops. He then double checks, moving the wand back and forth making sure the sound was correct.

If so, the next step is to do some digging. Down on their knees they go to do some pushing around of sand and seashell fragments. After a moment or two of digging the detector is brought back into play over the spot. If the sound is still there, the digging continues.

I realized that the metal seeker is a good metaphor for what I do as a counselor/therapist. Whether in group or one-on-one my first task is to detect what's happening. I rummage around the edges. I ask questions. I listen carefully to what 's being said. I pay attention to what is NOT being said. If it's someone new it takes more time than if it is someone I have worked with previously. It takes concentration and an attitude of acceptance- "Something is in here for me to discover," is my opening thought.

Then I hear it. It is sometimes subtle and sometimes so blatant that it's like alarms going off. A key word, an attitude shift, a change in tone or body position. "Hmmm!" I think. "Let's do some digging." I ask different questions, give feedback on what I might have heard- the old Rogerian-method "What I hear you saying..." or just simply repeating what they said and see what they do with it. In essence I am the metal seeker getting into the story. Was the intuitive "ping" I felt real or just a false alarm?

Intuition is an important piece here for me. It is often built on experience. Very few times do I hear something so completely new and different that it is totally unlike anything I have ever heard before. There may be a new twist to it, but the underlying concern or issue is almost always something I have seen and worked with in the past. That is why more experienced counselors tend to be better at intuitively understanding situations. We aren't smarter, just been around the block a few more times.

That is why counseling/therapy can be so rewarding. It is a "treasure hunt"- a stroll along the shore of another person's depths and worries, hopes and disasters. In so doing I am hoping to be able to help them find the answers they seek- or at least help them ask the questions that will move them in a healthier direction.

Counseling is not magic nor mumbo-jumbo. It is an engagement with another human being on an exciting journey. I am humbled to have been able to do it for so many years in so many different ways.

First Thoughts

We listened to the remarkable (and very popular) podcast, Serial, last week. It is a milestone in the use of our new media in that the producers took the classic radio documentary style and applied it completely to the series available only through the podcast online. They did not skimp on its style or depth. It was the kind of radio documentary that I would have loved to have been a part of back in the day. Hopefully this is the first major breakthrough of a new way of doing news and media in the 21st Century.

For those who may not have heard about it, here's the synopsis of the 12-week series: Serial tells one story- one true story- over the course of the 12-weeks. It was developed by the creative folks at This American Life. From their home page:

On January 13, 1999, a girl named Hae Min Lee, a senior at Woodlawn High School in Baltimore County, Maryland, disappeared. A month later, her body turned up in a city park. She'd been strangled. Her 17-year-old ex-boyfriend, Adnan Syed, was arrested for the crime, and within a year, he was convicted and sentenced to spend the rest of his life in prison. The case against him was largely based on the story of one witness, Adnan’s friend Jay, who testified that he helped Adnan bury Hae's body. But Adnan has always maintained he had nothing to do with Hae’s death. Some people believe he’s telling the truth. Many others don’t.

Sarah Koenig, who hosts Serial, first learned about this case more than a year ago. In the months since, she's been sorting through box after box (after box) of legal documents and investigators' notes, listening to trial testimony and police interrogations, and talking to everyone she can find who remembers what happened between Adnan Syed and Hae Min Lee fifteen years ago. What she realized is that the trial covered up a far more complicated story, which neither the jury nor the public got to hear. The high school scene, the shifting statements to police, the prejudices, the sketchy alibis, the scant forensic evidence - all of it leads back to the most basic questions: How can you know a person’s character? How can you tell what they’re capable of? In Season One of Serial, she looks for answers.

It was intriguing, baffling, enticing and addicting. We binge listened over a couple days last week. I have several different thoughts from the series but the first one kind of sets the stage for me.

I realized as I was listening and as Sarah used information and tapes of actual police interviews how in many ways detectives and substance abuse counselors can come at their jobs with a similar approach. One detective basically said that his approach was to believe no one - and everyone. (At least that's how I heard it.) There is always an active suspicion that they live with.

They also face the danger of looking for information to confirm what you think you already know. This "confirmation bias" takes facts, data, bits of information- and, when it supports the hypothesis- accepts it. When it doesn't support - well, let's just ignore it. Part of what Sarah Koenig did in developing the shows was put these bits of information out on the table- conflicting and confirming- and show how the detectives (and we the listeners) react. Fascinating.

That's where I start with this. I will have a couple more posts in the coming weeks. But if you get the chance, listen to the series. Start from the beginning and listen in order. You will be amazed by the skill of the producers.