Never One Like This One

• The last time my wife and I spent a Christmas Eve and Christmas Day without our daughter with us was 29 years ago, in the last month before her birth (and I would argue she was with us in that one, too, but you know what I mean).

I was aware of the changing of life. Another way to say my aging. Time moves on. Sometimes it takes many years- nearly 3 decades in this case. But things change. They do not remain the same. We try to hold on to traditions and rituals since they are bits and pieces of comfort. They treat our brains to pleasure; they remind us of things that are worth remembering. Sometimes we hang on to these things to avoid seeing the changes; sometimes they are part of our denial system.

In any case, more often than not, and sooner or later, the rituals change. People change or move or pass on. It is at a holiday that we become most aware.

• The last time my wife and I spent a Christmas Eve together without going to church- well, it has never happened before.

What an unusual holiday. The big storm playing hide and seek with the Upper Midwest and doing all kinds of weird weather things brought about the cancellation of the church's Christmas Eve Candle Service. It will be tomorrow afternoon at 5:00 so it will be dark enough to enjoy the candlelight. One of the most consistent rituals in our life is Christmas Eve.

That meant that in the 38 Christmases we have had together, this one was totally unlike any we have ever had. There was always church. Then there was always church and family. This time it was just us, sitting at home, watching a movie and then the news and then finally a couple church services.

Christmas morning we slept in then opened our presents for each other. Christmas Day with our daughter was postponed by the storm and will be held next Friday, New Year's Day. So we rested, did wash and dishes, I took a nap, and we went to a movie.

Such is what happens in life, I am discovering. Things never remain the same. No matter what we want or do, change is the constant.

But in its own quiet way, it was still a good Christmas. After all it wasn't about me.