Sunday - Life on the Water

In family systems theory and specifically the religious institution based understanding of it by Rabbi Ed Friedman, there was always a phrase that I liked. It was what is often needed in difficult or conflicted family systems. It is referred to as:

A Non-Anxious Presence.

I often like to use the acronym for it:

NAP.

Ed Friedman in his book Generation to Generation says that NAP is part of "differentiation" when a person in a system can

define his or her own life's goals and values apart from surrounding togetherness pressures,... It includes the capacity to remain a (relatively) nonanxious presence in the midst of anxious systems, to take maximum responsibility for one's own destiny and emotional being.
--p.27, Generation to Generation

It was an idea that jumped out of my memory when I read about Jesus in today's Gospel. He is sleeping in the back of the boat in a life-threatening situation. The disciples are terrified. He's purring in peaceful sleep. Talk about a non-anxious presence (and taking a NAP). I realize that this is one of the marks of Jesus- he keeps the anxiety levels at a minimum. You never see him worried or anxious or any of those other things. Here, in the boat, all is fine. No matter what.

Friedman also says (pp. 209-210) there are two aspects of the NAP that are worth highlighting in institutions:

• The Value of Playfulness and
• The Dangers of Diagnosis.

Anxiety is seriousness; content oriented; diagnostic (what's wrong?) These tend to increase anxiety and keep the cycle going. "How loose are we able to be?" is a good question to ask ourselves.

Now I don't fault the disciples nor am I willing to challenge their faith as Jesus did. Any preacher who does so is itching to get challenged in the same way by Jesus. Given the situation, and I have been in similar ones, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would probably be as terrified as they were.

We in the Moravian (and Methodist) traditions have a story of John Wesley making his trip to Georgia from England. The boat runs into serious storms. Wesley is afraid. Deeply afraid. Then he comes cross a group of Moravians (men, women, and children) heading to Georgia. They show no fear or anxiety. They read the Bible and sing hymns. Wesley is amazed. It becomes an important challenge to furthering his faith development.

So maybe it is possible to have that non-anxious presence, even for us frightened humans. Maybe the message in today's Gospel is that the NAP is a good way to live.

If for no other reason than Jesus can always calm the storms.