Cleaning Out a File

Overheard in New York used to be more interesting than it has been recently. So, I am closing down my picking up the feed for it. Before I do that I thought I would clean out the file of some that were more interesting. Here are a number of subway and airplane announcements "overheard" in New York City.

Subway station announcement: Because of an earlier incident, all trains are now running.
--Union Square Station

Conductor: This is 36th Street. Step to the side and let all the monkeys off the train. Let the monkeys off the train.
--Queens bound N train

AirTran flight attendant over intercom: We hope you ladies and gentlemen had a nice flight, and we ask that you all press your faces against the windows so Delta can see what a full flight looks like.
--LaGuardia

Flight attendant: The captain has advised us that our flying time will be quick, at an altitude of high and a speed of fast.
--JFK airport

Flight attendant: We do encounter bumps between the runway and the gate -- that's not my fault. It's not even the captain's fault. It's the asphalt.
--JFK airport

Flight Attendant: Thank you for flying US Airways, and have a happy... happy... what the hell holiday is this? Columbus? Psssh, that ain't no holiday. Have a good week!
--LaGuardia Airport

Pilot flying into LaGuardia: If you look out the right side of the plane, you can see the beautiful, famous downtown skyline of Manhattan. [Pause.] And if you look out the left side... [pause, sighing] New Jersey.
--LaGuardia