Paying Attention to Children

This American Life on public radio the other evening had a program on listening to children. I could only catch the opening preview where they had children talking about their feelings when having adults attempt to talk to them. The kids were quite perceptive and verbal about their feelings. Too bad we adults don't listen to them and treat them like, well, like people.

The biggest complaint they had was that adults talk down to them, condescending, and always ask the same question- "How is school?" The tone of voice, the kids said, was as if they were talking to a three-year old. - "Oh, aren't you cute." They really don't seem to care what the young person thinks or feels. They have this image, the kids were saying, that they aren't important.

I have seen it happen so many times in the years in ministry. Whether it was the children in Sunday School, the little kids coming forward for the "children's message", or just the child sitting in front of them in the pew- they were often treated as objects, or as irrelevant, or as much younger than they really are.

It is amazing how children and adolescents will respond differently when they are treated as who they are- people with feelings and attitudes and ups and downs. They are not little vessels into which we pour ideas. They are their own mix of neurons and experiences and needs and hopes and dreams. To accept that is to accept them and they will often respond far more than you think they would.

In short recognize them as part of the community. They are an integral part of the community. They are not "future" church members or "future" citizens. They are already those things today. And our communities are greatly enriched by their presence.