It's No Fun Being Her

From (The Customer is) Not Always Right:

(A customer wanders in and stares around, sighing forlornly for a while.)

Me: “Hello there. Are you okay?”

Customer:*very sadly* “I just miss being able to have coffee.”

Me: “Oh, that is sad! But we do have non-coffee drinks available if you’d like…”

Customer: “It’s just not the same!”

(The customer grabs a bag of ground coffee, opens it and takes a deep whiff. She then shoves it back on the shelf and runs sobbing out of the store.)