As Time Moves By
When you are closely and even intimately involved ni people's lives through community and then move to somewhere else, it is perhaps most difficult when someone "back there" dies. As regular readers and friends already know, my wife and I spent fifteen years in our longest ministry. We built more than friendships, we became part of a community of people who, even when disagreeing, found ways to celebrate our lives.

Then we move. In this day and age it happens more than it ever did before. But in our case we moved. We left behind the community which had nourished us, helped us raise our daughter and supported me in sobriety. With a group like that you don't sever all ties. I regularly check the local newspaper on the Internet to see what's happening. Sadly, that can mean reading a name in the obituaries. That happened again yesterday with one of those special people.

She was on the board when I went to meet with them prior to accepting the call. (My wife wasn't an ordained pastor yet.) We hit it off right away. That may have had something to do with her joking around and saying that she picked me from the picture directory of ministers because I was "good-looking." She then added that I was better looking in person.

She spent many years on and off the Board and was one of those people you could always count on to be personally supportive even when she might disagree. She brings back a lot of memories.

She died Monday. I feel a deep sense of loss. I will not be there for her funeral. I will not have a chance to say "goodbye". One of the deep pains of leaving a church community is experienced at times like this. But it is also part of the power of community.

Someone once said that "Death is the price you pay for living." Saying goodbye, feelings of loss, sadness are part of the price we pay for making friends, being in community and living in God's love.

But they are worth the price many times over, now and for eternity.