The Page Scandal Continues
Well, we have had another weekend of the building story of the scandal over the Mark Foley emails and perhaps other visits with young pages. One of the latest was that some page reported that Foley would wait until the page was of legal age to make actual contact. Which, by the way in many professional positions is just as much an ethical violation as the earlier was a legal one. But then, are there ethics rules for congressmen.

The issue is power. Pure and simple power. A congressman, like anyone in a position of authority has power by the very nature of his or her position. A counselor's ethics laws, for example, do not allow them to have a personal relationship with a former client. Perhaps ever. The power position- one's up, one's down- is hard to ever overcome.

The Fox TV show House is dealing with some of these issues in recent shows. He's had this young 17-year old stalker in love with him. He makes some obvious errors that in many places would be against hospital policies- i.e. he does an exam of the young lady in the exam room with no female nurse or aide present. Talk about a set-up for danger.

I don't know what's going to happen after the World Series (the show is interrupted for the next few weeks), but the promos on football today seemed to show House getting picked up right after a scene where he's kissing a young lady. Maybe they'll find a way to blame House's personality and potential indiscretion on his drug addiction and pain.

Which brings me to a quote from Debra J Saunders of the SF Chronicle in last week's papers:

Having been outed for sending explicit e-mails to underage male House pages, Foley issued a statement that he has "accepted the need for immediate treatment for alcoholism and other behavioral problems." Alcoholics should take offense.

I agree. As long as he doesn't use that as an excuse for what he did. In my years of working with alcoholics, I have discovered that sexual indiscretions are often, though not always, somewhere in their past. Even the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous has a section that deals with that in writing one's Fourth Step.

Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there.... We all have sex problems. We'd hardly be human if we didn't. What can we do about them? We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it.
--Big Book of AA, pp. 68-69

So it is not a surprise that Mark Foley would admit to being an alcoholic. I would have expected it. As a clergy friend who was a counselor once said to me:

Everey time someone walks in my office with a problem, I assume alcoholism until proven otherwise-

And then I continue to suspect it.

That part isn't the worry in the Foley case. Most alcoholics would probably say, that of course he is. In most cases, only alcoholics in the throes of their addiction could be that crazy. What worries me is that this will be used to take away his personal responsibility. No one is claiming that. Yet. But if he or anyone uses that as an excuse then I as a recovering alcoholic and an alcoholism counselor will be offended. Demon rum didn't make me do it. Demon rum may have made it easier to do things that go against my values, but that is not an excuse. It is a reason to get down on one's knees in humble confession and do what needs to be done to get back on the right track.

Eventually there's this thing in the 12-Step program called "amends" where you have to come face to face with many of the people you have harmed and make direct amends wherever possible. First, let Mark Foley suffer in his own pain. Believe me he is suffering. Internally. It is painful and will be that way for a long time to come. Someday he may be able to move beyond it. But for now he is going to have to learn how to stay sober with ALL his addictive behaviors one day at a time. Don't let anything make you feel sorry for him. That won't help him- or you- in the least.