Christmas Reflections -
1: Christmas Eve Sadness
It hit me this year more than last that I was not leading worship or telling one of my Christmas Eve Stories. That may have been because of the unique circumstances this year. It was the first Christmas Eve since 1971 that I have not been together with my wife for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day morning (or both, obviously.) Since October, she has been part-time pastor of a rural congregation in southeastern Minnesota, about 120 miles from here. She normally drives down on Sunday morning and back on Tuesday evening. With the Christmas schedule this week she went down on Saturday noon and stayed overnight to do Sunday morning.

Hence our daughter and I were home together. But no wife/mom. It was a uniquely odd feeling. But the sadness of it felt like something that comes with age- leaving things behind, retiring, loss and death. I thought of my brother and his wife celebrating a second Christmas without their son who died in 2004. I thought of 14 years of story-telling on Christmas Eve. I thought of services in different churches and the many, many people we have shared the evening with over the years.

As I write this two days later it does sound like part of the normal process of living and aging. I have left behind (at least for the moment, perhaps for good?) the way of life that I spent 30 years following- being a pastor of a church. I do not generally miss it. I am having an amazing time in "ministry" in the "secular" world as a counselor. But there was something about Christmas Eve that reminded me that the world changes and moves and life follows along.

2: Christmas Eve Worship
However, I was free enough to "attend" three different worship services on Christmas Eve. The first was via public radio and the annual live broadcast of Nine Lessons and Carols. I have tried to listen to at least part of this every year for as long as I can remember. It is a great way to start the Christmas Eve mood. It is as traditional as you can get. It is classic "high church." It is the culmination of at least 500 years of Christian Worship in England and reflects a lot longer than that.

At the close of the broadcast, the announcer commented on what was happening in the British twilight:

The congregants return to the world, embraced and perhaps even emboldened.

Later in the day my daughter and I went to the church where I am a member. It was a standard, traditional, Moravian Christmas Eve Candle Service. It is Moravian worship at its best (with the exception of Easter Sunday morning in the cemetery!) The Star hanging, beckoning. The Lovefeast and carols, the sensuousness of beeswax smell and feel while we sing Morning Star, the closing strains of Silent Night. As comfortable as my favorite pair of shoes! Singing the carols with eyes closed, the words are so much a part of my soul.

I was most certainly embraced by my own traditions, my own past, the love of God in Jesus Christ. Grace!

Later in the evening I then went to a local mega-church Christmas Eve service. It was 10:30 and the sanctuary wasn't even half full. But that was still a lot of people compared to the 100 - 110 at the earlier service at my church that almost filled the room. I was surprised and welcomed by the opening carol in the service, the only Moravian Christmas carol that has made it to the "mainstream," James Montgomery's Angels from the Realms of Glory. Again, beginning by being embraced by my own tradition. But while the music was often traditional carols, it was not the traditional style.

Guitar, bass, drums, piano. A choir and string orchestra backing it all up. Words to the carols on the projection screens. The size of the building swallowing our singing while the music from the front was sent out through the sound system. Many young people were in attendance, usually in groups of young people, not families. Families were there and some older looking types, but it was a service that had a younger feel to it. It was not a comfortable old shoe, but rather, at least for me, a new, yet still comforting pair of sandals (preferably Birkenstocks.)

The mix of old carols and new instrumentation, candles and projection screens was, I have to admit, exciting. Adding the contemporary worship song, Here I Am To Worship to a carol set was touching and almost sent me to my knees. Seeing a video of a town in Honduras where the Christmas Eve offering was going to help build a water system, connected me to the people among whom Jesus was born- the poor- even as I sat in relative opulence. The sermon was interesting and well done and kept me focused on Christmas.

As I walked into the near-midnight darkness, with slight drizzle and a little fog, I did not feel embraced. Not this time.

No! I was emboldened!

I knew that the darkness does not have power over the world, the Light does. The young people in attendance said that there is life in the faith, life that is new with every new generation.

I also knew that, at least for that moment, I have been touched by that light and as I walk the light goes with me.

May it shine through me and make my world a little bit brighter and a little bit more like Christmas.

(On Thursday, Wednesday, I will continue these reflections a little further, going on to Christmas Day.)

A New Blog in the Blogosphere
Finally, Corey, pastor of The River Church has fallen prey to blogging! He is going to be preaching on spiritual disciplines in the coming months and thought he ought to try this one.

Welcome to the blogosphere, Corey. Go meet him at Learning to Listen.