First Amendment Issues---
Or Just Plain Vandalism?
Whenever it was decided to put Election Day near Halloween, a perfect set-up for disaster was made. I thought of that the other day when I was driving up the road and saw a crudely hand-lettered sign:

27 Bush Signs Stolen- So much for the 1st Amendment.

It wasn't too far up the road and I saw this not quite as crudely-lettered sign:

Another Stolen Kerry Sign

While there was one case in the Twin Cities in recent months where a state legislator was caught removing signs of an opposing party candidate, I have a hunch that these are not 1st Amendment Free Speech issues. Rather they are the result of anti-social vandalism. The culprits, I would guess are probably thrill-seeking people, probably young people, who get some great thrill out of taking the signs or vandalizing them. They may claim to be supporters of one or the other candidate perhaps, but in the end their political leanings are far outweighed by the thrill of reckless mischief.

The issue raised two thoughts for me. The first was the need to blame our opponents for whatever happens. My guess is that if the sun fails to shine on election day someone will blame the Democrats while others will blame the Republicans. To put ulterior motives to everything is a common human approach, but it is far from reality.

The other is the fact that there are far more subtle and effective ways to prevent people from voting based on many things. The old days of a Poll Tax or a Literacy Requirement which prevented the poor (read Southern Blacks) from voting, or the outlawing of the vote for women, or, back to the earliest days of the Republic, anyone who didn't own land. Coercion, difficulties at the polls, hanging chads or whatever, are ways that the vote is taken away from people. And in every case- it's wrong.

So, instead of mistaking Halloween pranks for partisan politics, let's look at ways to increase voter turnout, so that all can feel as if they have a say in what is happening.

Having Voted I Will Go Out On A Limb
I have to be away from home on Tuesday, Election Day, 2004. I have never missed voting in a presidential election in the now 9 elections since I turned 21. (That was the voting age back then.) Even 16 years ago when I entered treatment right before the election I still got in my ballot. So on Friday I went to the local county courthouse and did my civic duty. It was heartening to wait in line. People wanted to vote. So did I. It is still one of the most remarkable things I do as a citizen. Even my well-known cynicism doesn't keep me from the polls. After all, if I don't vote, I shouldn't complain.

Of course my track record of voting for the winner is quite dismal. In only 2 of the 8 previous elections has that happened. Even adding the four elections prior to my being of voting age adds only one where I supported the winner. So 3 for 12 is not good. I am on the outside of the winning side more often than not.

This doesn't mean that I expected my candidate to win. Only the most deluded supporter would have believed that McGovern, Dukakis, or Goldwater had a snowball's chance to win. But I voted my convictions and political views. That is what this country is all about. That is what democracy means. I am glad and honored and proud to be part of it, win or lose.

With all that said, let me go out on a limb and make a prediction. It is a gut reaction that for some reason or another came to me while watching CNN last evening. It was nothing anyone said. It was nothing that the candidates did. It had nothing to do with Bin Laden or Iraq or 9/11 or the economy. It was simply a quick, intuitive thought.

I have the hunch that we are going to be surprised on Tuesday. Some of the swing states will swing to Kerry/Edwards, others will move to Bush/Cheney. Barring a MAJOR event, I don't think it will be as close in the popular vote as some of the polls have been indicating. While that could happen in either direction, my hunch is that the surprise on Wednesday morning (we won't know before then for sure) will be a Kerry/Edwards popular vote win by a larger than expected majority.

But I am not sure they will win the election. I am not a pundit of electoral votes and which states will go which way. It may very well be a tie or an upset by Bush/Cheney in spite of the popular vote.

That's my gut reaction as I fly across the upper Midwest myself this Saturday, October 30, 2004. It won't be posted until later today when I get to my motel room. But that's how I see it.

You can quote me on it, but don't say "I told you so" if I'm wrong, although I might just be tempted to say that.

Sixteen Years of Miracles
It says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will....

The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!
® 1994 Serenity BBS

It was 16 years ago today, on retreat at our church camp and conference center, I first admitted I was powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable. Thus began the journey through treatment, after-care, 12-Steps and more than I can even imagine. Through the graceful and empowering love of God I am still sober, 5,844 days later.

Is that a miracle? You bet. I have seen hundreds and thousands of them over these 16 years. Because, as I once heard someone say: A miracle is simply seeing something happen and knowing who to thank. Well, I sure do. God, my family, and lots and lots of people. It works, thank God.

Get It While You Can
A month or so ago one of the big news stories here in the Twin Cities was a young man who was supposedly clocked by a State Police airplane going 205 mph on his crotch-rocket motorcycle. It has been a tempest in a tea pot on and off. Well, it was on again this past week as he went to a preliminary hearing.

Friends, motorcycle companies, a biker magazine have all gotten into the act. They deny that there is any way that this bike or any like it could ever go that fast. The friend he was riding with was clocked at a measley 111 mph and the super speeder was hardly ahead of him.

Well, the young man isn't doing a whole lot of talking publically about it. The news mentioned that he has been offered a moment in the spotlight on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno(c). The reaction of one of the people interviewed was that he should "Go for it" in order to milk the most out of it he can.

I know that Andy Warhol's famous line about 15 minutes of fame has been over used as much as it has been proven true. What is interesting is that it is often these kind of stories that bring about the fame. With the 24-hour news channels gobbling up news items like Pac-Man(tm) on steroids, the half-life of fame is a lot less than 15 minutes for most. A few of the big stories- murders, kidnappings- may get double coverage, but most get their moment in the sun and then are gone, leftovers that probably won't even get an honorable mention in Trivial Pursuit(tm).

That is one of the hallmarks of the postModern world, by the way. Information continues to double at incredible rates. The last time I heard, it was an 18 month doubling rate. Information, knowledge, on a world-wide scale doubles every 18 months. That means that information has doubled more than twice since George Bush was elected. And that doesn't even take into account 9/11. No wonder this electionn is so hotly contested and even controversial. We are overloaded and trying to make sense of it. It is not Bush or Kerry's fault. It is the pace of the world and our inability to keep up with it.

Perhaps part of this is even generational. Kerry and Bush (like Clinton, Gore, myself) are products of the early baby-boomer life We are always playing catch-up just to keep current. It is a different world and the transition is just beginning.

We may be witnessing the first of the changes. It was 44 years ago that John Kennedy, the first president born in the 20th Century, said that the torch was passed to a new generation. Another generation, usually assigned a 40 year length, has passed now. Will it be the 15 minutes of fame/get it while you can mentality that wins, or will there be another shift that works within the overwhelming information to find the keys and directions that can lead to the next generation's opportunites to right what my generations (the Me Generation) has done wrong.

This election won't make that transition, but it will go a long way in setting the agenda for it to begin to occur.

Speaking of Transitions-
The Ghost of The Babe is Loosed and Lost
Finally. It has only been 86 years. What took you guys so long?

But when they did it, they did it in style. No fooling around. No dragging it on and on. Go in, do the work, get the job done.

Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox! What a Series they gave ALL baseball fans.

So, Cubbies, are you next?

In Memory
Just received a call from my brother back in Pennsylvania. His 26 year old son who was diagnosed with lung cancer back in May, passed away earlier this evening.

Last Saturday he and his family celebrated his baptism into the Body of Christ. Tonight he joined the Church Triumphant. He was surrounded by his family.

Romans 14:7-9: For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

------

A clear ribbon is the symbol for lung cancer awareness.

One Week to Go- At Last
By this time next week (evening on Tuesday) the campaign will be over in most of the nation. My guess is that we will not know the winner till sometime on Wednesday morning, if then. Unless something big happens in the next week, it will probably be a very close election. But it will be over.

Thank goodness. I for one am very tired of the endless stream of ads that began long before the conventions and never let up. (I guess that's one of the down-sides of living in a major "swing state.") I think in many ways the debates did a good job of showing the differences between the candidates and it is clear that we do have some kind of choice. I don't think it is as great a difference as we are led to believe- after all, both are politicians.

I guess under all that is my inherent cynicism. While we may not be consumers of a bill of goods from them like we were with the tobacco companies (yesterday's post), it is important to remember that they want to get elected. Politicians are always good at spin and both of these candidates have a slew of workers around them who do it quite well.

So one more week of spinning. But under it all, it is still an awesome privilege to be able to vote, freely, for a candidate of my choice, without duress or fear.

Which in the end is what it is all about.

What If...
All Companies Sold Products
Like Tobacco?
The other evening during the World Series an ad came on. It looked so real- too real- as they began talking about this great product: Shards O' Glass Freeze Pops. They admitted that, yes, it could cause harm, and of course, children shouldn't buy it, but we are selling it.

The tag line on the ad was the title of this post: What if all companies sold products like tobacco? I went online to check it out, Googling "shards o glass" and sure enough there it was.

Shards O' Glass
Freeze Pops.

The final part of the "ad" gave another web site called:
TheTruth.com It is a wierd and post-modernish designed web site as a carnival/circus/sideshow that talks about the truth of smoking.

These are great pieces of work. They are examples of some of the reasons that smoking has lost its luster and place in American culture. We have realized that we have been duped for years by the Big Tobacco Companies. We have realized that we have been sold a bill of goods that has led to many, many unnecessarily early deaths. We are wising up as a nation to the way we have been taken on this ride of terror. May we continue to do so. May we also begin to wonder what other products that we have been hooked on will prove to be just as fatal.

A Tie-In
Most lung cancer deaths are preventable. But that is not a reason to shun or ostracize or demonize those who have it. Not all people with lung cancer have the history. Some may have the genes, some may have lived in the wrong part of the country, or worked in the wrong factories, or had their homes over a radon source. All are the victims of a truly awful form of cancer that is often not discovered until it is already too far gone.

With that in mind:

November is
Lung Cancer
Awareness Month.

He Keeps Right On Meddling
Jesus always has a way of cutting to the heart of the matter. It seems as I read much of what he did and said, it was usually aimed at people like me- you know- the ones who are "religious" and are more than happy to live on its merits.

Luke 18:9-14 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Being confident in our own righteousness is the real sin Jesus aims at in this. That and lording it over others who we think don't have it all together. Or being willing and ready to compare myself to others. What a challenge to remain humble and honest. What a challenge Jesus gives us. Don't look at others, look at yourself. Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to you. Don't rest on your merit, rest on Jesus.

Here's a quote I found over at The Text This Week that says it well:

"I think we good people, we church people,
we don't much care for this story.
We keep wanting Jesus to say,
'I've come to gather the good,
to reward the righteous.
All you high spiritual achievers get in line
over at the Chapel.'
Yet what Jesus says is,
'I've come to seek and to save the lost.
I've come to call sinners.
If you're not sick, you don't need a doctor.
I've come just for the sick.'"
["Amazing Grace,"
Dean William Willimon,
Duke University Chapel Sermon Archive, 1998.]

Important Scores-
(at least to me.)
NCAA Football:
 Illinois 0
 Minnesota 45

Michigan 16
Purdue 14

 Northwestern 12
 Wisconsin 24

  The World Series

 St Louis 9
 Boston 11

No, the World Series game was not pretty, nor a classic- lots of errors and the like. But it was a good start.

Not a bad day's work.

Wow!
No, not the Big Ten games today or the still in progress Game 1 of the World Series.

But I am wearing a pair of pants that I have not worn in several years. That's because they had shrunk... er, I had expanded, actually, from 34" waist to a 36". But as I mentioned awhile ago, I have been on a diet since the first of August. It has been a nice, slow decline, the kind that hopefully will keep it off because I am actually learning something about how much I used to eat. As of yesterday I have lost 12 pounds in about 12 weeks. Which translates to needing to pull out the 34" jeans.

They fit! Isn't it amazing how those jeans have magically grown again?

Sports Weekends
Let's see, two football games today: Northwestern at Wisconsin and Michigan at Purdue. Now the baseball game is on. Tomorrow will be a Vikings game and a Packers game then another World Series game. I am not, by nature, a sports TV couch potato. But this may be the best season of the year for sports with the baseball playoffs coming to the final Champion, the heart of the college football season heating up, and the pro teams beginning to settle out into potentials and also-rans.

Sports is wonderful entertainment, no doubt about it. It is a diversion that I enjoy. But it is only entertainment and far, far overpriced. I don't tend to watch basketball until the "Big Dance" or the semi-finals in pro, but by then baseball is ready to take over again. This baseball/football month and the height of the college season approaching, I really enjoy the diversion.

So, sit back, get some iced tea (I am in recovery) and let them Play Ball.

The Stage is Set
The Boston Red Sox, seeking to beat The Curse of the Bambino.
A rich and storied history from Fenway Park.
And yet, while they have been the American League Champs
11 times,
the last time was in 1986, and have won the World Series
5 times in their history,
they have not won the World Series
since 1918.
the year they sold Babe Ruth to
the New York Yankees.



Then there's The St. Louis Cardinals.
Another rich and storied franchise.
They have been National League Champions
16 times,
the last time was in 1987, when
they lost to the Minnesota Twins.
They have won the World Series 9 times,
the last of which was in 1982

It should be a great world series starting Saturday in Fenway Park.

The Road Somewhere
In one of the daily meditations I receive by email today was a wonderful reminder:

I usually judge myself by my intentions;
I usually judge others by their actions.

Ouch. It made me think of the old line about the road to hell being paved with good intentions. You, of course, remember when we would hear that as children. It was usually right after I had forgotten to do something and would say- "But Mom, I intended to get that done." Or something like that.

Which meant (and means) that we always like to be judged by what we intended to do or what the thinking was even if we don't act that way. But we are jusy as quick, on the other hand, to judge others by what we see them doing. It doesn't matter if they intended to do it differently. Sorry, that just doesn't cut it.

Which brought me in my thinking today about the famous/infamous/challenging quote from Ghandi about why he never became a Christian.

"I'd be a Christian if it were not for the Christians!"

I have no doubt that most believers have the best of intentions. They think (we think) we are doing what we are doing for God and that would be the best of intentions. We forget that the actions may not match the intentions. Or we take the old cop out- Well, Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven. Which is true, but doesn't cut it well with non-Christians when we've just sinned on, around, or at. The best of intentions may never get out. The desire to be a disciple may stay internal. Our trust in the Creator of the Universe may be hidden in the worldly things we seem to trust more.

At the heart of it, I think, is integrity, honesty and humility. When these are at work in our lives, even the times we fail or fall will be seen as slips and not patterns. There will be a congruence between words and actions. There will be a light that shines through us at those points that can make all the difference in the world.

It Has Never Been Done...
Until Now
and
It is Truly
Unbelieveable

The greatest comeback in baseball history perhaps. Down 3 games to none. Having to return to Yankee Stadium to complete a 4 game sweep in the last 4 games instead of the first 4 games. The Curse of the Bambino not dead until a World Series is won.

And they did it.

I sat transfixed by the whole ALCS and am awed by both teams. The power, the skill, the professionalism. It was a wonderful example of playing to the end, of not giving up. It was pure baseball.

I must admit, though, that I saw what may be a flaw in the Yankees that stood out to me as I watched. (Disclaimer: I am a Yankee fan except when they play the Twins.) They seemed almost too professional. They are always the champions. They dress like it, they act like it. They are almost too cool, calm, and collected. I saw passion in the Red Sox this time around. I didn't see it in the Yankees. They could have been just out there doing a job. The Red Sox were in it for the passion of doing what no one had ever done before.

Is that the secret of the win? Is that what propelled them in the end into the World Series? Perhaps and perhaps not. But I am sure it played a part.

Passion. It is the fuel for getting things done that we feel need to be done. If we don't have it, we will never know what it feels like.

They Just Keep Going and Going...
What an October series these have been already. Last minute wins. Long, long 9 inning games. Long, long 14 inning games. No one wants to quit playing even in the cold of a Boston or New York Autumn (or the comfort of the Astrodome.) Walk-off home runs. Comebacks and losses. Just plain amazing baseball even in the blowouts.

It's championship baseball at its best.

Wandering More Than Usual
My mind does not seem to be able to settle very well today. It has been a strange time as we are now 6 weeks or so into the new school year. If you didn't know it, that is about the time the teachers and staff begin to come down with this year's crop of "bugs." You know- a cold, etc. Which is what is happening to me even as we speak.

It really started over the weekend. The low-grade sore throat and very slight aches and just being tired. A little cough and a little stuffiness. I know it is just the beginning. I was hoping to avoid it. I have been quite healthy in this way all year. The vitamins and supplements are a big help. So is a positive attitude. But those new school year bugs are just too cunning and strong. They sneak in on even the healthiest of staff and knock you down.

So far it hasn't been so bad that I couldn't get my work done. And this week is a short week with our state teachers' convention being on Thursday and Friday. But there are also the other things that have been going on. There has been the stress of my wife's job uncertainty (which is being taken care of- more at a later time.) There is the extra stress of just getting the school year off the ground and now with conferences and such, the longer days.

None of these in and of themselves is enough. But put them together and even a good immune system can decide to take a break.

Then, as I begin to whine and feel badly about my situation, I talk to my brother who has had more bad news of his son's condition. Things continue to go downhill. Time is getting shorter. And I feel really silly complaining about a little bug that has decided to live in my system for a few days.

God, forgive my self-centeredness and short-sightedness. May I never forget that it is only in you that I live and move and have my being- and that nothing need get in the way of that. Keep me humbly in your love.

Spirituality and Recovery
Listening to Public Radio's Speaking of Faith program today, I was hooked (pardon the phrase) to a show that talked about spirituality as the way of recovery set out by the 12-Step programs. Here's the introduction as printed on their web site:

An estimated one in 13 American adults abuse, or are addicted to, alcohol. Until the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in the 1930's, alcoholism was a ruinous and nearly always fatal affliction, immune to the best methods of psychology or medicine. AA made extended sobriety possible for the first time. It did so by analyzing alcoholism as a physical, mental, and spiritual disease.

The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to quit drinking. Not every person who participates in AA recovers. But at its core, when it works, AA is a spiritual discipline and practice — a way of life that a recovering alcoholic undertakes in relationship with other alcoholics. It's possible to imagine, in such language, a quasi-religious movement, and there was a significant Christian influence in the formative years of AA. But the movement's power over several decades has lain in part in its remarkable ability to translate across the world's cultures and traditions.

Let me repeat that last sentence for it is another of the secret's of its success and power:

But the movement's power over several decades has lain in part in its remarkable ability to translate across the world's cultures and traditions.

In the program, one of the guests spoke of Bill Wilson's almost overpowering interest in "tolerance" of all the different ways spirituality can be seen in human experience. He and the other early AA's insisted that while the may use the word "God" they had to make it clear that it was not a religious "God" but a spiritual one. They knew that if they were to succeed where every other attempt at recovery had failed, they would need to be non-sectarian in religion and widely tolerant in spirituality.

Thank God, they followed that path. I believe I speak for millions when I also add, thank God it worked and continues to work.

A Fine Fall Day
Some days you just get in the car and go for a ride. This was one of those days. It wasn't a bright sunny and warm day. On the contrary, it was a blustery, mostly cloudy winter-like day. The leaves were past their peak by about 5 days between home and an hour downriver. The mid-week cold front and accompanying rain and wind took the luster out of the leaves.

Oh, but what a day. Many of the colors did remain. One tree would be bare, the next green, and a third orange or yellow. The reds and tans would gain a quick luster as the sun would poke from behind the clouds for a moment. The corn fields rambling across the landscape were a beauty of a contrast with the gray and silver clouds. The lookout over the Minnesota River gave a brief moment to ponder the cold temperatures and the beauty that can be found in all seasons.

On the way home in the dark after a supper with my daughter, the farmers in their big, honkin' machines (not a technical farming term) were out working by their headlights. The season is coming to a close. We are animals who have to store for the winter, collecting and saving, even in this modern technological age.

It was a day to celebrate. Amen

Not God
The secret to the original development of the 12-Step program and, I am convinced, the secret of its continuing success is simple.

There is a God,
and I'm not Him.

Profound? You bet! Remember the "Original Sin" of Adam and Eve was to eat of the fruit that would make them "like God." We haven't strayed much from that even if the Garden has been off-limits for all these many millenia. We are still trying.

We aren't building Towers to reach God and convince him not to destroy us anymore. We just babble on about what we are able to do and how we are able to control our own destinies. We even invoke God's name to do that. So we continue to act and think and move as if we can actually be as powerful as the Creator.

Perhaps we need to take a moment and turn to the 12-Step programs to realize that life in its fullness comes when we stop playing God and simply do the next right thing- which is usually God's will.

[Note: Ernie Kurtz wrote a book from which I have taken the basic theme of this post. The book is Not God: A History of Alcoholics Anonymous.]

The Need to Be Liked
I had one of those incidents the other day that got my "need-to-be-liked" side going. Call it self-esteem issues; call it co-dependence. Whatever you call it, it gets in the way when someone reacts negatively to something you do. It need not even be something important or even mildly critical. It may be able to be explained quite easily because of the circumstance or situation involved. It may even be that you did the right thing and did it with good humor and openness and compassion. But someone didn't respond the way you wanted them to and they reacted. Just like you would if you were in their shoes.

But I want them to like me. I want them to pat me on the back and say what a wonderful thing you did with good humor and compassion and grace. I want them to agree with me and thank me for what I did. I feel insecure enough sometimes, even when I have no reason to feel that way.(There! See. It's self esteem.)

In ministry it can be called scoring too high on the mercy gifts. You know- if they don't like me how can I help them? (Ooops. There's that co-dependence.) To get things done sometimes, you need to let go of the mercy gifts. To make a difference you are going to need to challenge someone and that may mean that they won't like you. And, much to my surprise, I can't help everyone because not everyone wants to be helped.

And this is over a "nothing" that I handled well and settled. Imagine how I would feel if it were "something." I guess I must be human. I guess that being liked is important.

But I am learning that it is not as important as doing the right thing. When I come to the end of my day, can I look back with peace that I did what I was supposed to do? Can I stop and ask myself if I owe anyone an apology for making a mistake? Can I lay it all in the hands of a God who knows far better than I do what it takes to make a difference in the world? Can I then turn over and say "Thank you, God, for leading me in the paths of hope and care and healing for myself and others."?

That is one of the gifts of the 12-Step programs to me. I sometimes have to write it down like this, or get on my knees and humble myself in God's presence to remind myself that it is not about me. Most of the time, praise be to God, I can do the right thing and sleep in God's Holy and Healing Light.

Amen and thanks be to God!

The Answer: Community-
The Question is....
I knew that sooner or later that question would come up. Being on the "outside" in secular work after 30 years "inside" has been a shock and a welcome change since last December. The difficulties faced by both myself and my wife in ministry over the past five years have given some different perspectives as well as raising some difficult questions. Among them was the one a clergy friend posed after dinner on Monday. THE question.

After all you have been through in the past 5 years, what is your idea of church?

I started out to answer with house church or small group, but stopped in mid-word.

Community.

I thought back over the years in two previous churches (22 years, actually. Seven in one, fifteen in the other.) Community was what made those churches tick. Caring about each other- deeply. Being in team and partnership with their pastors. Wanting the church to be a community of people with a common vision and purpose. Of course they didn't succeed at that all the time. Sometimes we had more visions than Vision. We wrestled, struggled and loved each other. Community.

There was the wondrous and scary time around the birth of our only child at the one church. People were there when my wife had to stay in bed. It was just like they were there the two times she had back surgery for ruptured discs. Community.
It was having a 70th birthday party for the previous pastor when he came to baptize our daughter in the congregation we both loved- and finding out that day was special because he had just learned he had cancer. Community.

I recalled above all the single best indicator of community that I experienced. Almost 16 years ago, at the end of October, 1988, I announced to the congregation (by letter) that I had a "problem with alcohol" and was entering treatment at a nearby facility. I had no idea what that would mean. I was told by some that such an admission would ruin my ministry there. I would have to leave.

But no one in the congregation told me that. Instead they loved me back to sobriety. They asked themselves- and me- what they had done wrong to contribute to the problem. When we had a series of workshops to help them understand alcoholism and addiction, they came, but mainly wanted to see me "get well again." People talked openly for the first time about their feelings and struggles with alcohol or other issues. People were real and honest and caring and never once suggested that we leave.

So for another 11 years we didn't. Community.

The church is about people in community. Far, far beyond the idea of fellowship. Far, far beyond the idea of an institution. Far, far beyond the idea of a dues requiring organization. And light years beyond the over-used and abused concept of a "family." Community. For me that will always be the answer to the Final Jeopardy question, After all you've been through (and not just in the past 5 years) what is your vision of church?

Community, friends. Community.

All Good Summers Come to an End-
Sooner or Later
It has been a wonderful fall, so far. This weekend was in the 70s in Minnesota in October. Monday was beautiful, today was nice. Ah, yes. If only it could last. But it won't. I know that. We all know that. Now the weatherman is telling us. The "s" word was put into the extended forecast- a chance of rain and "s". No, I don't want to hear it. It will only be the middle of October on Friday.

But you know, I really enjoy the change of the seasons. I know that most northerners say that- and most of the time we mean it. (Don't ask in mid-January when the wind chill is is unbearable and snow is flying.) The changes remind me that life moves on. The variety is the spice of life. Fall, especially, reminds me of the cycle of things that come to an end and gets me ready a little more each year to accept those things.

Even when it is beyond my simple understand. Like with my nephew. It truly is autumn for him. How he feels, I have absolutely no idea. How he feels when talking to people his own age who have their whole lives ahead of them, if far from my ability to comprehend. How he feels when he looks at his parents or grandparents and realizes he will never reach that age is more than I can even begin to grasp.

But the world at this time of the year reminds me that the summers come to an end. Some are shorter than others, some are more filled with life and sun than others, but in the end the truth is that it ends. As I have said before that brings us to that moment when we have to answer for ourselves-what is the meaning of life if it ends in death?

All I can say, and it sounds so glib and easy, but in reality it is gritty truth- in all things I can know that God will be at work for good for those who love him and trust his ways. What that means varies widely and wildly, but I know from my own life that it is true.

So as summer finally winds down in the Minnesota northland, I take a moment to thank God for all that has been a part of this cycle of life and for having been a part of it for me. Amen, so be it.

On a Lighter Note
No, even to the most rabid fan it truly isn't a matter of life and death, although we may often think so. But the Green Bay Packers are not doing their part this year to keep us Green and Gold fans alive. For the first time in 12 years they have lost four games in a row. O Brett, tell us it ain't so.

Security Reigns Supreme
It didn't strike me when I got off the train at the Metrodome in downtown Minneapolis and saw the big dump truck blcoking the street so no terrorist bomb-loaded car could get close to the stadium.

Nor did it strike me as my wife's purse was looked at to make sure it was safe.

Nor did it strike me with the National Guard being on the field playing music.

No, it hit me in the second inning when the thin, red-shirted usher, a man in his late 60s climbed those 31 rows of stairs, stopped, then headed back down. The man behind me (in row 31) struck up a conversation with the usher as he stood at the top looking over the crowd. It turned out that he did this every inning from the 2nd inning on- for security.

Oh, that's right. This is a BIG national sporting event. Those are the NEW YORK Yankees down there on the field. This is the big leagues! A shudder ran up my spine at that moment looking around the packed stadium. It could happen here- or anywhere. I had felt this only once before since 9/11 when we went to a movie at the Mall of America. This time was stronger. The President was going to be in the Metro less than 24 hours later- only half a dozen miles from my home. Tonight I'm sitting in a big-name event.

These are not the good, old days. Perhaps they never were and we were just living in the fantasy that sooner or later would be brought up short. But now we all now that it is possible, anywhere. Even in the heartland of Minnesota where the only terrorist conspirator from 9/11 arrested took flight lessons and did reconnaisance on the Mall and the Dome.

I don't know which of the candidates for President will, in the end, be better to fight this war on terror. I have a hunch that neither of them probably understands the facelessness, the country-lessness, the namelessness of terrorism. I don't think any of us truly does. But I do know that this is a different world than it was when we last elected a president- and we all know it at some level. It may be that this will be one of those signicant elections that could set some new directions and new understandings of life in 21st Century America, regardless of which one wins.

Grandiose Superstition-- or --
Superstitious Grandiosity?
Well, the Twins are off for the winter. Those Yankees are incredible comeback kids. It was tough watching the Twins miss the World Series again, but it was a really fine season. Of course, now I can mention the team since the series is over and my mentioning the team won't jinx them anymore.

But do I really have that kind of power?

Of course not. But isn't it amazing how we have all these superstitious behaviors? The other year I would always wear a sports T-shirt of my favorite team on Game Day, even if I wasn't able to watch the game. Then they lost a game or two- and I didn't wear the T-shirt anymore. After all it was my wearing the T-shirt that jinxed them. Or what about when they started losing while I was watching. There I was, jinxing them again. All my fault. Of all the millions of people watching on TV along with me, it was my watching that made all the difference.

Yeah, right.

But it sure felt good, even if they were losing, that I could have that kind of power. Little Old Me with the ability to jinx a football or baseball game being played halfway across the country.

So even though I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I do on Game Day has no effect whatsoever on the team, I still have to be careful. You never know. Maybe I can do it.

Triple Whammy for Me-
Too Bad The Team Lost
It was a wonderful evening. We got on the new LRT train and headed into the city for The Game with The Yankees. Great start since I am a train lover and this was the first chance I have had to take a ride. It really is a nice set-up and much more relaxing than the drive up 35W to the Dome at rush hour.

Then there was the National Guard band on the field for the pre-game played some of my favorite marches and ended with an equally moving singing of the National Anthem that moved this old patriotic pacifist and wife to tears.

Finally there was just being at The Game. It was my first playoff game to be at since the Phillies and Dodgers in 1983. The party atmosphere, the Homer Hankies waving (without a breeze), even sitting in Row 30 (there are only 31 rows) was a great experience with everyone having a great time. There was that pre-game moment when Harmon Killebrew, a Big Name in baseball history, threw the ceremonial first pitch. Then there's that moment when you realize that you are watching The Yankees- all those names, all that history. From Jeter, Williams, and Sheffield all the way back to Mantle, Maris, Gehrig, and Ruth. It is being in on American sports and cultural history.

Baseball in person is one of those experiences that can't be beat. Entering the stadium from the outside, the green of the field broken by the brown at the bases, the noise, the wonder of it all. Even if it is indoors which is not a bad thing considering what can happen in Minnesota in October.

Too bad that The Team that didn't win. It was not a pretty sight. The Yankees won 8-4. But my wife and I had a wonderful evening together. Like the ad says- "Priceless."

He Had Them... He Had Them Not... He Had Them...
I must admit to a certain amount of amusement as I watch the spinning that goes on in political circles to justify - nor not to justify- something. The latest, of course, is the ongoing controversy over the weapons of mass destruction that Saddam Hussein did or didn't have. I am not talking about amusement over the war, its rightness or wrongness, but simply the way politicians have to always be right, even when they are not.

The classic, of course, was the outright spin of lying that Richard Nixon kept working over his lack of knowledge of the Watergate break-in. He was incapable of admitting that he might have done something wrong by being involved in that. He was not a person who could say he was wrong. So he outright lied.

Clinton was a master at it when it came to his personal life. Who can forget that life-defining question about the definition of the word "is." That was spin. That and the other famous spin about not "having sex with that woman." He, like Nixon, I am sure, believed what they were saying at some level of their being.

Now we have Bush and Cheney dancing on the issue of the WMDs in Iraq and how now, all of a sudden, they weren't the reason for going to war. There is evidence, as was reported Thursday, that Hussein may have been in the act of starting to build a then very defunct and out of date WMD infrastructure. There is clear evidence that Hussein was an evil, perhaps on the level of a Stalin. But he was not an immediate threat through WMDs in 2002-03, nor was he the conduit of al-Qaida.

So let's admit it. Let's say that the intelligence was flawed and that we overplayed the hand. But the other stuff was- and still is- true. Now, how do we make amends and how do we truly help the Iraqi people avoid a devastating civil war while supporting our troops who remain in harms way? How do we show our true greatness- the greatness that helped rebuild Europe and Japan nearly 60 years ago? How do we show, in other words, that western democracy can be honest and open and caring and willing to go the extra mile to assist others?

Can Bush and Cheney do that? Can Kerry and Edwards do that? Can either maintain the integrity we need to show- an integrity of honesty? I hope so. Then we will show the world that we truly are a "super" power in more ways than just military strength. We will show that we are a moral superpower as well.

Ooops!
I guess that the baseball gods or Fates heard or read my post yesteday. The jinx continued. Within 30 minutes of posting yesterday's thoughts re:baseball and blogs where I mentioned, by name, a certain Minneapolis-/St. Paul-based major sports franchise, they lost. So, no names will be mentioned in order to protect the innocent and guilty alike. My apologies. But I am going to a game that the Yankees are playing in Minnesota on Friday. Yes, O Fates, I said the Yankees. [Wonder if that will work?]

Blogging in the Big Leagues
There are several blogs in the Twin Cities area dedicated to the local baseball stars, the Minnesota Twins. In Tuesday's Star-Tribune there was an article about the blogs, appropriate to the beginning of the post-season for the Twins. The article (free registration) does a good job of letting readers in on the blogosphere and highlights from these really well done blogs.

It's just one more example of the way blogs continue to make their way into the mainstream. There are blogs for probably all of the major (and maybe even minor) professional sports. Again we see how we "amateurs" at the grass roots can continue to make an impact on the world of news, opinion, and even sports.

[A note to the powers that control such things: This is not intended to be a post that boosts the Twins. I have such a bad record of being a jinx to my favorite teams by posting I want to make it very, very clear that this is simply a post on blogs which happen to be in my area where there happens to be a major league ball club playing this week. :)]

I'm Still Impressed
The other day in Detroit airport I came up the escalator from the underground passage to the commuter gates and there it was staring at me through the window. A Boeing 747. Some of the moment was no doubt that I was looking up at it from below ground level at first, but that was only a small part. To stand in the concourse and look at one of those beautiful behemoths is to wonder at the engineering accomplishments of human beings.

I first saw a 747 over 34 years ago, right after they were first introduced. It was the summer right after my senior year in college and I was going to Europe to get my final six credits in German to graduate in the fall. I was in New York's JFK airport and I looked out a window and saw one. Big with the distinctive hump in the front for the second tier. There was nothing like it.

I watched one take off- and have seen many since. They look like they are hardly moving, appearing to travel much more slowly than their smaller cousins. That is an optical illusion, of course, brought on by their size, but that only adds to their beauty and awesome appearance. You wonder as you watch how they can even get off the ground. But they do and they carry you to places you could hardly dream of.

That may be their charm as well. These take you long distances, even if the inside can feel like a flying subway car. These make a trip across oceans and continents easier to take. These are the ultimate flying machine and even a modern-day wonder akin to the hanging gardens or the great pyramids. Like the huge B-52s or massive cargo/transport planes they are a modern marvel.

There are now, of course, other commercial jumbo jets that have the same slow appearance at take-off and they too catch my attention. But nothing compares all these years later with the 747.

The Wonders of Recovery
The 9th Step of the 12-Step programs is about restoring relationships. It doesn't come early in the steps, it's actually the beginning of the last third of them. It takes time to re-learn or perhaps learn how to have healthy relationships again. I have yet to meet anyone in early recovery- myself very much included- who knows anything about healthy relationships. We think we do because we don't understand that the disease is about more than just drinking. As is often heard around the 12-Step meetings- it is alcohol–ISM. If all it took to get well was to put the cork back in the bottle, we would come out of treatment centers healthy and well. That isn't anywhere near true.

So, after some time in watching and learning from people in the program who have been around awhile, we begin to discover the ways we can treat people as people and not as someone to aid and abet our disease. We learn how to admit we were wrong to other 12-steppers and realize that they teach us that it doesn't affect what they think of us. In our everyday lives we discover that people around us are seeing the changes and starting to trust us again. It should be obvious that this doesn't happen overnight. We didn't get sick overnight- we don't get well overnight.

Which brings me to the 8th and 9th steps, well into the program.

8…Made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all..
9…Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injur them or others.

I don't know if non-addicts and alcoholics know how to do that. I am sure many of them do. Perhaps they don't even need to do this kind of thing since they have never gotten their relationships into the kind of doo-doo that addicts do. Is it easy for others to manage to go to someone they have hurt and not just say they are sorry, but also to be acting differently enough that the other person actually believes them? I don't know. I know it was tough for me- and others I have heard talk around the 12-Step tables. It's the old disease- the ISM- the keeps me trapped in the cycle of illness as long as I refuse to do this- and think my situation is different.

The real wonder of recovery when worked in its fullness and in all honesty and as much humility as one has- is that relationships can be- and often are- restored. We learn the wonders of life with other people. We learn how to enjoy relationships instead of trying to control and manipulate them.

It is just one of many remarkable gifts from God through working the 12-Steps, but it is one of the sweetest!

Missing a Day
Well, the world didn't end because I missed a day of posting yesterday. I had a post written, but didn't get a chance to post it, so will probably do it for Monday's. It was the first one I missed since the beginning of June.

I missed because of an incredibly uplifting and difficult day on Saturday. I wrote the other day about making a trip to Pennsylvania to visit my brother's family since his 26 year old son has cancer. I had originally planned to go a couple weeks later in the month when we have off from school, but changed my mind. A bunch of my nephews friends had planned a party/benefit/get-together for him and I felt it was important to be there for that. I knew I wouldn't get as much opportunity to talk to him or the family because of all the activities, but the support of presence was far too important to miss.

Thankfully, I was right. It was quite moving to see all the care and support and love the friends and acquaintances gave. There were several people who paid for all the refreshments. Others donated items for a raffle. There was a bake sale. It was a great time. No one seemed depressed by the reason for the celebration. They simply enjoyed the time. That was the uplifting part. My brother said over and over how much he was moved by it. "There are so many wonderful people in the world," he said time and again, meaning it more each time. It is always, and perhaps only most fully, in the company of community whatever the definition, that such support and hope always comes.

But the difficult part was watching a once exciting, happy, vital young man who had years of life ahead of him begin to fall under the ultimate cloud of this awful disease. Bones get brittle; pain increases; mental response is dulled; life begins to slowly, but oh so surely, decrease.

I don't know how much I will write on this over the next months. I have the "luxury" of being over a thousand miles away from the day in and day out stress and worry. I get weekly updates in phone calls, but I'm not watching. I am a distant support to my brother. I am sure I will write from time to time as the situation continues to move ever onward. I try not to dwell on it, but it comes back many times a day no matter how hard I try. So, as in much of my life and all the ups and downs and ins and outs of 56 years, I will see what there is to learn from this one. Somehow, in all things, I must continue to remember that God will work in all things for what is good and right, no matter how limited our vision.

Back in early June, I had a post on the Valley of the Shadow of Death. In it I mentioned that I had been travelling that valley with some people who are close to me. The one I mentioned in that post was my good friend whose wife of 40+ years died last winter and who I went to see in July. Well, this weekend I am on another pilgrimage in that shadowy valley with the other person I didn't talk about then, my 26 year old nephew who has cancer.

I haven't known what to say. The whole situation and experience is beyond my ability to talk about. I put it out here tonight as a starting point for my comments and thoughts. I haven't seen him in 3 months and the cancer has been progressing. What I will find, what I will experience as I spend time with my brother and sister-in-law and my nephew remains to be seen.

I will add more as time goes on. Keep us in your prayers. Thanks.