A Recovering Preacher
In the alcohol and drug recovery community, people talk about “Using Dreams.” These are dreams about using drugs or alcohol that are so real and so powerful that you wake up feeling disappointed in yourself that you have lost your sobriety. Sooner or later every recovering person will have these and they can last for years. There is no rhyme or reason to them. You can’t predict when one will happen. You wake up- and after you realize it was only a dream- you become immensely grateful again for the sober life you are leading.

It has been a month since I began my new job as a school-based alcohol and drug counselor and “chemical health specialist” leaving the parish ministry after 30 years. I didn’t see it as recovery- until this morning. I woke up from a dream in which I was the featured preacher at a church worship service. Oh, was I good. It was one of my zinger sermons that wows the congregation and makes them want to go out and follow Jesus anywhere. People were congratulating me on what a great job I had done.

When I woke up I realized immediately that it was a “using” dream. My first comment to myself- “So, I am a recovering preacher!” That seems like an odd thing to be, I realize. Being a preacher was not a bad thing for me. It was not unhealthy for me or others- at least not since I got into alcohol recovery over 15 years ago and probably not before. I was good as a pastor and preacher and had success. Yet the First Step into recovery is to admit that you are “powerless” and that your life has become “unmanageable” because of your addiction or behavior. It is then important to recognize that there is insanity- doing the same things over and over expecting different results. You then come to realize that there is a Higher Power (God) who will restore you to sanity so you let Him.

Only this morning as I ponder the dream and the immediate thoughts that came with it, do I realize that I am now a “recovering preacher.” Let’s look at it briefly-
   ~~ Powerless- the preaching does not do anything in spite of what we like to think.
   ~~ Unmanageable- speaks for itself. Your life becomes “controlled by the outside forces and desires to change people through your brilliant preaching.
   ~~ Insanity- yet we keep doing it over and over, year after year, expecting different results this time.
   ~~ Let God do it.

Those are the initial thoughts this morning. More will come as I continue down the road that still lies ahead of me. I will do some more blogging on this in the next week or so. Until then, I will do my job, take my times for prayer and meditation, and listen for the will of God to guide me.

Book Release Party
Watch this blog for a post and pictures from the book release party at Solomon’s Porch tonight for the book by Doug Pagitt and the SP community- Reimagining Spiritual Growth. Film whenever.