Hmmm! The Electronic Age
Here I am in the MSP airport, blogging on a WiFi net.

Now the airport is under a severe thunderstorm warning for 45 minutes. Stay away from windows (huh?) and outside doors.

But does that mean my flight will be late?

Thirsty
A new book I am just starting is by James Nelson, former professor at United Seminary here in the Twin Cities. It is called Thirst- The Quest for God and the Alcoholic Experience. I am just barely into it but the title itself is worth some pondering. It reminds me of the saying of Augustine:

Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you.

Or perhaps my soul is thirsty until it is quenched by You would be another way to put it. Alcoholics will often say that before they got into recovery, they had this "God-Shaped" hole in their lives and souls. They will also say that it is no coincidence that alcohol is at times referred to as "spirits." While it may be an obsession of the body and a compulsion of the mind (or the other way around?) it is also a feeling of thirsting for something far more powerful and eternally fulfilling than the drink.

Then, when one comes face to face with the need to change one's life- to move from drinking to sobriety (or at least dryness)- the search for God takes on new and intense significance. It is at that point that perhaps we enter into a true "dark night of the soul" as described by St. John of the Cross and explained wonderfully by Gerald May in the book of the same name. We are on our knees, lost and lonely, the old gods have gone and we must give up our own power to be god or find a god. We are at the first step of finding the spiritual drink that will always quench our thirsting soul.

Just as I am, though tossed about
with many a conflict, many a doubt,
fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;
sight, riches, healing of the mind,
yea, all I need in thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

I Climbed Higher Than Before-
But I Couldn't Jump
Took a group of youth to a Ropes and Challenge Course last week. For those who don't know, these are carefully developed courses of challenges and situations that get a group to learn more about teamwork and themselves. There are the "low elements" or things that you have to work together on while still on terra firma. You have to go through the low initiatives first and the facilitator will not allow you to go to anything high if he/she feels you are not working as a team.

Because if you are going 30 feet in the air you want a team working with you. Because there are those that require climbing- often very high- to do something truly scary like stand on the top of a telephone pole or jump off a platform along a "zip line." (Of course you have "belay" ropes and caribiners and a strong belay team.)

This was probably the 8th or 9th time I have taken groups to ropes courses and participated in the program. Each time I am challenged. The very first time, I climbed well past my fear of heights and walked along a wire. Another time I fell backward off a platform into the waiting arms of my confirmation class.

Last week it was the "pamper pole." There is this little round disc on the top of the very high pole. The task is to climb until you all you can do is stand on the disc holding on to nothing but faith. Of the four youth and two adults in our group one of the youth got to the top and jumped. My colleague didn't quite make it, but was second closest.

I got to the 2nd step from the top and just couldn't pull myself up the last step. That's okay. I again climbed beyond my fears. I learned a little more about self-confidence and teamwork. I got some new insights into what a leap of faith is really all about.

In the end faith is about reaching into the unknown while knowing that you are not alone. I had the ropes and support of the team on the ground as I just relaxed backward and allowed them to bring me back to earth. Trusting God is very much like that, at least in the beginning, before you have a life-full of experiences that tell you that He will be there. You start with small things, breaking into the relationship. Learning that God is just who He claims to be and is ready and more than willing to give us His love.

One step at a time... one small step that can grow into leaps into the wonders of God's grace.

Prone to Wander-
But Tatooed With His Cross
When I got the tatoo of a cross on my arm I never thought how it would be a reminder to me of what I'm about and who it is that is my Lord. Working with the youth one day a few months ago I was talking about the persecuted church around the world. I pondered aloud, as I often do in those settings, about how it would be if it were illegal to be Christian. Would I be willing to admit I was in the midst of persecution? Would I stand for my Lord?

I then realized that I have these two tatoos- one on my leg and a larger one on my upper arm. Both are crosses- symbols of who it is I follow. And I realized with a momentary shudder that these make it harder for me to deny the Lord I claim as my Lord. I realized that they are indelible marks of the One who brought me salvation. That sure takes away my ability to go hide my faith!

Fortunately, I don't have to face that problem here in the United States. But that may not be my biggest worry! Earlier this evening I was listening to the Passion Worship Band's wondrous album, Hymns Ancient and Modern and they sang one of my all-time favorite verses- the closing verse to the great hymn, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing:

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

The words of the 5th and 6th lines hit me. Yes, like most humans I am prone to wander. I am ready to leave the God I love for all kinds of different temptations. Even good things can get my spiritual feet itching to wander from His love. In those times, I need to be reminded. As I was listening and meditating I remembered the cross on my arm. It may be that the tatoo is as much to keep me from wandering as it is a statement - a witness - to others about Who He is that I belong to.

A Beauty of an Evening for a Concert in the Park

Yes it was a beauty on Friday evening. Our concert was well attended in the park.

This is my 18th or so summer playing in a community band with summer park concerts. It is one of the great pleasures of my summer. Last night had two powerful moments for me. First was a wonderful saxophone solo by a young musician playing on Gershwin's Somebody to Watch Over Me. The wonderfully full, rich, warm sound of a saxophone is almost unbeatable. It touches the soul! (And for a trumpet player to admit that is as good an example as I can think of to show how miraculous the sound is!) Why and how music does that remains one of the awesome mysteries of life for me.

The other moment was the "patriotic" section, Clare Grundman's moving arrangement of Civil War tunes, The Blue and the Gray. I have played it many times over the years and it never fails to move me. The simplicity of the tunes (Yellow Rose of Texas, Aura Lee, Marching to Georgia, Battle Cry of Freedom)touches one in quiet power that builds to a conclusion in The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Patriotic music is supposed to make one get goose-bumps and shivers up the spine. It sure does that well. But inside I hear the words and know why they move me:

In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,
While God is marching on.

May we also live to make men free, because God is marching on!

Nature Thoughts 3-
For the POWER of the Earth
Just finished reading Krakatoa by Simon Winchester. It is apwerful, engaging, well-told. Winchester has managed to give more information relating to Indonesia, volcanoes, plate tectonics, and social history while weaving the story of THE volcanic explosion that has come to symbolize the destruction possible in the world.

Last week I posted on The Beauty of the Earth. I have since posted more of my nature pictures on my pmPilgrim Fotopage. I said in the earlier post that I do not have a naive, sentimental view of nature. It doesn't take much more than a powerful thunderstorm knocking limbs off trees to realize that. Something of the level of Krakatoa or Hurricane Andrew is beyond thinking for most of us. It is a powerful world. There are powerful forces at work, set in motion and carried on for millenia and millenia. That "solid" ground we trust? It is think, unbelievably heavy rock plate that is floating on a molten layer below. At places like Krakatoa one plate sinks down under another, mix cold seawater with it and you have an amazingly active place of destruction and creation.

I think that the ancient Hebrews and probably most of the population of human history has been more than aware of this calamitous power that can wipe out life in a millisecond whether it is an earthquake in Iran, Vesuvius exploding over Pompeii, or a tornado ripping through Wisconsin. Perhaps that is what makes nature so awe-inspiring when we look at the beauty. What appears so benign can be anything but.

As I think about the power of a God who can create all this, I am even more in awe. While many hymns and poems talk about the beauty and wonder of creation, underneath it is an awareness of the power. A God who can do this? What could there be that such a God could not do? When, in the end, God finally spoke to Job, it was from this power, this creative and re-creative power, not a benign beauty that made Job sit in quiet wonder. No, Job fel down and repented in sackcloth and ashes. How can one stand before such power? Who would even want to try!

On Corporal Punishment-
Some Thoughts and Reactions
My comments earlier in the week about a pastor talking in a sermon about discipline and equating it with spanking sparked a small series of comments- all good- about corporal punishment. I posted some thoughts specifically about the sermon and its content the next day. But I promised some reactions to corporal punishment in general and the Biblical "teachings" that are often used to support it.

First some general comments that come to mind. It makes no sense to me- meaning I can't justify the seemingly opposite feelings of love and inflicting pain. Spanking- corporal punishment- is meant to hurt. It is not a love pat. To purposely inflict pain on my child in order to teach her a lesson makes no good sense to me. If I do something to myself, the consequence of which is I get hurt, that is action-reaction. But if someone does something wrong and then is made to hurt because of what I do in response as a punishment????

I also have trouble with the lesson it teaches. In order to correct someone else's behavior you need to react with violence. Since corporal punishment is meant to hurt- it is violent. Violence is much too common in our world. It can be a reaction to being hurt ourselves. It can be an act of aggression against another because they didn't recognize my authority. Spanking is aggressive.

There is a slippery slope here. I realize that slippery slopes are often extreme extensions of reality. But it is the extremes that worry me. It is the situations that we may use to justify our acts of violence. It is the circumstances that cause people to hurt one another. I will admit that in many instances corporal punishment may very well be all the person needs never to do that again. But I am not so sure it works as easily as we think it does.

Now, as to those scripture quotes and citations that are often used:
In his comment, Dave mentioned the Proverb that talks about the "rod of correction":

**The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. (Prov 29:15)

... another one would be:

**Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. (Prov. 22:15)

... and one more:

**Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death. (Prov 23:13-14)

These are hard sayings. Make no mistake about it. They also really do seem to say what is there on the page. In fact, the original Hebrew may even be stronger. You could almost translate them literally "beat your child with a stick to save his soul from hell." Woah! Heavy! Hard to comprehend. The problem- we are accepting advice that is from a world and a culture that is far different from ours. Here is where it gets tricky in interpreting scripture. We must be very, very careful when taking as eternal truth things that are even words of wisdom for a far different age. The person we normally credit with much of this wisdom was Solomon. He had a number of wives. Do we follow that? What makes this passage "law" or even "wisdom" when we know what we know today about the emotional effects of abuse? I know I am on another slippery slope here. But it is one to be very cautious with or else we will be doing lots of things that are no longer acceptable- and probably shouldn't be acceptable. Holy wars, slaughter of prisoners not to mention entire civilan populations, for example.

Well, this has been longer than I expected. Religion can be abused and abusive. More than we probably realize. But I will let it set here for now and see where it goes next.

Why Am I Doing This?
I realized that I have been on a pretty good roll of blogging recently. But why am I doing this? Is it for fame and glory? No one has written in the local paper, let alone the New York Times, about my being an A-list blogger. (grin) About 30-35 people access this blog each day. So, why am I doing this?

Well, for one, it has become a discipline. I try to have something for every day. I may write two or three at a time and spread them out, but first I want to write something about something most days. I have been a journaller for years. Now I am just doing it on the virtual page.

But why this public method? It is interesting for me to note that I began this blog only a month after I stopped preaching on a bi-weekly basis. I love to write. I love to ponder great thoughts (but mostly small ones) and their impact on me and others. I love to think about the way Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit are at work in the world I inhabit.

But I have a hunch that I wouldn't do as much if I weren't getting "published." It is fun to write for myself, but it is dull because the only feedback I get says either "Great job!" or "What a piece of crap!" That may still be all the feedback I get, but at least I'm not talking to myself anymore.

One more thing, I like being part of something that is almost anarchistic in its style and approach. Blogging has been that. No rules, just clues, as Church Consultant Bill Easum has said. It is a grass roots movement for the moment still. It is broad and even deep at times. I am glad to make my small contribution to such a movement.

In the end it may very well be ego or grandiosity or the secret desire that some publisher will come along and discover me like Real Live Preacher was discovered. But it is also, in the end, about Jesus and this being one more small way that I can have a witness to the fact that He is still very much alive in the world and as a disciple of His I am still learning what that means, even when I don't always use His Name in what I write.

Another Top 100 in Music
The American Film Institute in its ongoing work of helping more people appreciate classic movies has a new Top 100 movie list. This time it is music- songs- from U. S. Movies. I gues being a song means it's supposed to have words and not just be a great theme song. Well, I find I can't disagree! Well, maybe a little diagreement. I'm not sure I would have put the Bee Gees "Stayin' Alive in the Top 10. I might have moved "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" from #12 or "People" from #13 or even "Cabaret" from #18 instead.

Here's the Top 10 from AFI's Top 100 Songs from U.S. Movies

1. "Over the Rainbow," "The Wizard of Oz," 1939
2. "As Time Goes by," "Casablanca," 1942
3. "Singin' in the Rain," "Singin' in the Rain," 1952
4. "Moon River," "Breakfast at Tiffany's," 1961
5. "White Christmas," "Holiday Inn," 1942
6. "Mrs. Robinson," "The Graduate," 1967
7. "When You Wish Upon a Star," "Pinocchio," 1940
8. "The Way We Were," "The Way We Were," 1973
9. "Stayin' Alive," "Saturday Night Fever," 1977
10. "The Sound of Music," "The Sound of Music," 1965

Here's the whole Top 100 and the story at MSN.com.

Reflections on Discipline
Thanks for some really good thoughts and comments on the post yesterday on corporal punishment and abuse. A couple of reflections off the top of my head and then maybe some more in a day or two.

:: One of the most offensive parts of it all to me was the way he described his disciplining of his daughter. It was in far more detail than I would have liked- and more than I personally thought appropriate for a sermon.

:: I always get scared when a spiritual/religious leader gives permission in this way for something that is easily, very easily twisted and misused by people looking for justification for what they are doing. No, his may not have been abusive (although I am not sure of that). But I have absolutely no doubt that someone in church on Sunday morning (and probably more than one if the statistics are correct) heard what they wanted to hear. I remember when I was a young Christian, the pastor used to tell our church that Christians may be allowed to drink, for example, but that if in so doing they led someone astray, they should refrain. This is a dangerous place to be condoning a practice like corporal punishment when we know it has been so widely abused.

:: In my experience, this sermon is just an example of the "norm" that is set whenever we think of God "disciplining" us. We almost always try to find ways to talk about "punishment" or "hardships" or "difficulties" that God throws at us to get us to see His way. This is not the only way of discipline. In fact, to practice the Christian "disciplines" has nothing whatsoever to do with punishment. A coach "disciplines" a team- that is, guides them through coaching and "discipline" into being better. It is not punishment. Being a "disciple" of Jesus is being one who practices the "discipline" of following Jesus.

Those are my main disagreements with what happened on Sunday in church. But they do not answer some very good and appropriate questions concerning corporal punishment. I will get to that another day as I work on some clear ways of explaining why I hold the position I do against corporal punishment.

I Was Polite-
I Didn't Walk Out
Visited a church on Sunday. A large church that will go unnamed. It was Father's Day and the sermon was basically to be grateful to our Dads and our Heavenly Father. Not a bad theme for the day. Yet the most important thing the pastor seemed to be talking about was God's discipline and how that is something we are to be grateful for. And of course discipline means - in one way or another - punishment.

No, that is not simply my interpretation. If it wasn't about punishment, why did the pastor talk about spanking his children, specifically a daughter? If it isn't about punishment, why did he even describe the process? He had two sticks- a thin one and a thicker one. The daughter was to choose which one to be used for the spanking. He would tell her lovingly why she was being punished, then spank her, then hold her lovingly.

He said that he was talking about spanking, not abuse.

To say I was offended is obvious. I tried to push it off and sat in the sanctuary until the end of the worship. I couldn't stay for the altar call. It seemed like hypocrisy and human rationalizing and permission to abuse your children- to hit them with a stick if they are bad, but as long as you do it lovingly it is okay.

The day went on and I got more and more upset. I actually got scared for some of the children of that church. "The pastor says I can do this. It isn't abuse!"

But even more so, the thought of a pastor explaining to a church full of people how he "spanked" his daughter (and mentioning in passing without comment that HIS father had used a razor strap, thick and wide) is not my idea of the Good News of Jesus Christ. In fact it is God who accepted the punishment for us- if punishment is what it is all about. No matter how loving a father, the thought of spanking a child- hitting a child with the intention of causing hurt so they won't do it again- makes absolutely no sense to me. To link that to God's actions against me, is to make God into a brutal God- not the God of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

I am pondering what to do. Do I write a letter to the church and let them know how offended I was? Do I raise the issue? or, since I was a one-time-only visitor do I just move on?

I do know I won't be back.

Because You Are Healed...
The Gospel lesson yesterday was the man with the demons, running around the graveyard, until Jesus sent the demons and the pigs they went into, over the cliff. It is a story of healing and power. It is the miracle of Jesus in a person's life. Send the demons away. Put them into the unclean where they belong. Don't just let them fly around willy-nilly to infect someone else. Away they go!

The healing is but the beginning. See what happens next:

Luke 8:38-39 The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, "Return home and tell how much God has done for you." So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him

It is right at this point that Luke is making sure we get the message. When we have been healed of whatever the demons are that possess us, we then let others know "how much God has done for" us. The beginning of evangelism by the 99 44/100% of Christians is in the healing and the story of our healing.

   *~* This is what I was like- I was sinfully sick, possessed by demons, unable to pull myself out. I was powerless.
      *~* This is what happened- Jesus came along and sent those demons away. There was this incredible change, it happened quickly or slowly, in a moment or in a lifetime, but there was this change and everything I had been looking for was made clear.
         *~* This is what things are like today- I am free! I am able to find strength and hope where I never had it. Jesus did this! God sent Jesus to us so this can happen!

Yesterday I posted some thoughts about Paul's reminder that in Christ we all are one. Underneath it all we are all one because this story of sin is a shared human experience and the promise of healing and freedom are not determined by being in the right place or group or whatever at the right time. Jesus didn't ask the demoniac whether he believed or what the specifics of belief were. He didn't make sure the man was from the right part of town or the world. Sin is the shared human experience and healing and freedom are the shared experience of the People of God.

We are, unfortunately, not doing as good a job at this as we are called to do. We are still stuck in so many of our human ways, even traditionalizing and organizing and institutionalizing the ways we were healed and given freedom, if we even have recognized that. But for evangelism to be what it is supposed to be- sharing the Good News- we have to have been healed and freed ourselves.

All Are One
This Sunday we hear from Paul. It is a powerful statement meant to break our human way of labeling and categorizing and demonizing each other:

Galatians 3:26- 29 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Justin Baeder over at Radical Congruency posted a link and thoughts the other day about "Who Owns Orthodoxy?" from James at Knowtown. Justin calls it Open-Source Ecclesiology. The issue is clear. We make too many foundational statements. We enlarge the list of what and how and where we have to believe and practice our faith. Justin's thoughts bring faith into the realm of a living, active faith. It is constantly in dialogue and struggle with the ever changing world. It is another of the idealistic (may I say, God-given) visions of our day.

Yet in many ways it is sad to think that in the 2000 years since Paul wrote his words, we are still making distinctions, even among the people of God. We narrow the definitions and understandings so thinly that only "our kind" can get in. We judge, question, point fingers at each other. We determine someone's faith by where they stand on America's involvement in Iraq. We criticize someone because they don't dress, speak, look, think, pray, sing like we do. No, sadly, we humans can sure get in the way of what Christ wants for His Church.

But that is God's way. We are the Body. The Church is the Living Body. God has chosen people in all our sinfulness and hatred and error and fear and grandiosity to live His Son's Life for these many centuries. The fact that we have succeeded when and where we have says more about the power of God to work miracles. THAT may very well be the starting point of being the People of God. More on that tomorrow.

Nature Thoughts - 2:
Noisy Nature
There's this duck that has been wandering and standing in the backyard for about an hour and a half. But she is not silent. Quack! followed not long after by a series of Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! From a distance at the bottom of the hill, hidden by trees came the response Quack! and then they go in some kind of call and response. The duck I can see and hear more loudly looks around as if trying to sense where the other duck is and what he or she is saying.

On and on it goes. A robin sits in the yard watching for a few minutes then goes about its pecking at the ground. Then a rabbit pokes its head out of the brush at the end of the yard and sits for a while.

The ducks keep on quacking. Driving me off the porch into the quiet of the computer room where I can still see her out the window but no noise.

The quiet, calm, serenity of nature?

Some More Pictures
I have added some more nature shots at my FotoPage. I forgot how easy it was to do that. Maybe I will try to do some more photoblogging in the next few months, starting with some of the pictures I already have on the hard drive.

A Scary Night
I don't normally mention some of the wierder things that happen to me. I have the hunch that most of us have things happen that scare us or shake us up but we don't want to admit it publicly.

Well, one of those things happened in the middle of the night a couple days ago/ I was dreaming something. Have no idea what. It wasn't scary or anything like that. It was just active. I think I was running along a street or trying to catch something. Well, I got too active - and too close to the edge of the waterbed which was probably moving a little - and, yep. Fell out of bed. Unfortunately the night stand was there and as I'm falling out of bed and waking up I realize that I am hitting the night stand's corner next to my eye.

Fortunately it was just at the edge of my eye, not even an inch from my actual eyeball. Well, in the dark, as my wife is worried and asking if I'm okay, I realize I am bleeding and now I am fully awake. I sit up, she turns on the light and looks at my eye, grateful that it wasn't closer, gets a cloth and an ice pack and I sit there.

It was then that the situation hit me- how close I was to a serious injury, eye loss, or whatever. I was one of those true moments of mortality. They haven't happened often in my life: doing a 270 degree spin on an icy two-lane highway, sliding off thr road on ice and barely missing a road sign, (Remember- I live in Minnesota!) or the Amtrak train I was on that hit a 4x4 truck on the tracks when it had been doing 90 mph. (I realized as I wrote that- in each of those incidents I used the same expletive- Oh sh*t- including the other morning.)

But when those moments come one realizes how fragile one really is. I like to think that I am big and strong, whatever that may mean for an overweight, 5'9", out-of-shape, exercise-phobic 55 year old. I like to think that nothing can affect me. But I know better than that! I know that I am as weak and breakable as the next guy. I know that in the end life is not a promise of no troubles, problems, concerns, or hurts.

But it is scary. I sat there in bed aware of how close I came and trying to put it into perspective. What I wanted and needed at that moment was a connection with another person. Praise God for my wife. She was the one who was there. She took the right steps, and didn't try to over compensate or over react. I sat there and just touched her. I needed to maintain that touch. Just to know that she was there and for the moment at least, we still had each other.

I managed to go to sleep, although closer to the middle of the bed- and closer to her. I woke up the next morning with a minor black-eye and some redness, but it doesn't appear anything worse than that. I was certainly not a life-shattering or life-altering moment of great fear or great danger. It simply reminded me that I am vulnerable, breakable, and in need of lots of connections with life. My touching my wife for comfort was one of those little things that can make all the difference in the world.

Thank God that we have those opportunities with each other- and with Him. What I know is so little- and so narrow. May God's grace continue to be at work.

For the Beauty of the Earth
As an adult, I have always enjoyed the beauty of nature. When I was young I remember being afraid of the "wilderness" or what have you, but I remember enjoying its beauty. But as an adult I have fallen in love with the beauty of God's incredible creation. My family gives me grief because I have taken countless flower and sunset pictures. (Some are now posted at my fotoblog on Fotopages.) "Dad's taking pictures of flowers. Again!"

  But there is awesomeness to a flower.
   There is eternity in a sunset.
    There is grace in a green field in spring.
     There is power in a thunderstorm.
      There is the ability to see the hand of God at work.

Disclaimer: I am not foolish enough to "sentimentalize" nature and the beauty of the world. There is a destructive beauty that we are rightly terrifed of. Read the book Krakatoa by Simon Winchester! Wilderness is not someplace to go unprepared just for its beauty and then sue the Forest Service for not warning you. No, this is not a sentimental reflection. God's world is awesome and awful! That is part of its beauty.

I thought of this all the other day driving through the fields of Southern Minnesota. It was the 3rd day in a row of beautiful blue skies, puffy cumulus clouds and warm sun after record setting rains for weeks. The lush green was indescribable. The vibrancy of color and life was everywhere. Yet the Minnesota River was running fast and muddy- while waterbirds of all types loved every minute of it. It was a moment of life in all its abundance.

I was immensely grateful that I was allowed to witness it. I was deeply touched by over 15 years of recovery that have given me the ability to stay spiritually awake to these gifts. I am humbled each and every day by the God who made all this who also loves me as much as any other part of His creation.

For the beauty of the earth,
for the glory of the skies,
for the love which from our birth
over and around us lies;
Lord of all, to thee we raise
this our hymn of grateful praise.
Text: Folliot S. Pierpoint

A Remarkable Read
Science-fiction fans and fans of the classic Greek narratives will both find something to like in the awesome story Ilium by Dan Simmons. I just finished it this evening and am impressed. It is long (550+ pages) and is the first of two books, the second one isn't out yet (drat!) It switches back and forth between Earth, Mars, and a Jupiter-system-based series of characters. There are "regular" humans, and ancient Greeks and Trojans, and Greek scholars and even... nah- I'll let you read it.

At first I was getting bored with the Iliad retold. But, against my will, I was sucked in. It is a nominee for Best Novel in the Hugo awards. Needless to say, but I will say it anyway- It is very good.

The Dangers of Minimizing
Minimizing dilutes the problem and short-circuits the solution. Minimizing is one of the key elements of denial.

A study released last week appeared to have "good news." Which is sadly a minimizing approach! Alcohol dependence rates are down, but alcohol abuse rates are up."

The NESARC study — a representative survey of the U.S. civilian noninstitutionalized population aged 18 years and older — showed that the rate of alcohol abuse increased from 3.03 to 4.65 percent across the decade while the rate of alcohol dependence, commonly known as alcoholism, declined from 4.38 to 3.81 percent.

Several important comments:

::: It appears according to what they say that this means that "alcoholism" is down. "Alcoholism" is not a diagnosis category. It is a popular term for both serious alcohol abuse (diagnosis available) and alcohol dependence (diagnosis avalable.)

::: Alcohol abuse must be becoming more acceptable. Both alcohol abuse and dependence symptoms are notoriuously underreported due to denial and a number of other factors. For the numbers to be rising would indicate either it is becoming more acceptable to abuse alcohol (and therefore minimize its effects) or the true numbers are even higher! Which really leads to the next one:

::: In spite of the decline in alcohol dependence, the combined rate of abuse and dependence is UP.

The number of American adults who abuse alcohol or are alcohol dependent rose from 13.8 million (7.41 percent) in 1991-1992 to 17.6 million (8.46 percent) in 2001-2002.

Again, with the denial issues involved, this is actually a scary number.

::: A closer look gets even scarier. The highest rates of abuse (as they have always been) are among teens and young adults.

Overall, the NESARC data show that rates of alcohol abuse and dependence in 2001-2002 were substantially higher... among younger study participants aged 18-29 and 30-44 years.

The increase in these numbers so significantly is a warning sign. These are the future alcohol dependents. These are the ones who will be increasing the numbers in the dependent category in a few years. These rates are going up in spite of concerted education and prevention efforts across the country.

::: AND these figures don't even take into account the growing marijuana and methamphetamine problems in youth and young adults.

Minimizing dilutes the problem and short-circuits the solution. Minimizing is one of the key elements of denial.

Well, Doh! This is a New Thought?
I Could Have Told You That
Here's a big surprise I saw in the news last week...

Study examines teen summer marijuana use
CHICAGO (AP) — Summer's almost here and that means teens will have more time on their hands to pick up bad habits — such as smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol, a new federal survey says.
The National Survey on Drug Use and Health found that June and July were the most popular time for teens to try marijuana, with about 6,300 new users a day during those months. That compares with about 4,700 new users a day during other times of the year.
USA Today

Actually, this is a serious issue and not one to be taken lightly. It was published just a few days after I had spent hours at the end of the school year talking to many of the students I had worked with this past semester. My theme: Summer Is Dangerous! For some of them this will be the first clean and sober summer they have had in a few years. It is dangerous. I also talked to some youth who claim not to have started using yet. But it is clear that they are being tempted- from within and outside. It is intriguing. It is alluring. People seem to have fun with it. It changes life. It is a potent drug- 10 - 20 times more so than when I was in college 30+ years ago. Summer is dangerous!

Did You Know?
So, why is the United States flag (and perhaps others, as well) red, white and blue? I didn't know this until I found this thanks to MSN Encarta:

In the language of the Continental Congress, which defined the symbolic meanings of the colors red, white, and blue, as used in the flag, “White signifies Purity and Innocence; Red, Hardiness and Valor; and Blue, Vigilance, Perseverance and Justice.”

Happy Flag Day!

The Ball Game in the Dark
Thanks to Michael Spencer (AKA The Internet Monk) for linking to Christianity Today's list last week on the 10 best baseball movies. It is no surprise that #1 is Field of Dreams. This is, of course, more than a baseball movie. (Well, aren't they all!?!) This one has a lot to say about father-son relations as well. It was a movie that helped me finally come to terms with much about my own father who died when I was 16.

I remember the first time I saw it- at home, alone, 11:00 at night, with a blizzard bearing down on southern Wisconsin. If you build it- he will come. No, not a baseball field, but a life that is willing to accept the things that happen and move on. Then, at least in my case, I was able to know the love my father had for me even though over 25 years had passed.

All good movies are always about more than being a moview or even the subject matter. They are our modern parables. Baseball may just lend itself to some of our modern American mythology a little better than other things. We keep making baseball movies. It is as American as we can be!

The Big Question...
I have just recently listened to a good Christian/rock album that came out last year by the group, Casting Crowns. It is a powerful album that does not give us the simple sugar-coated smile, God loves you approach. One song in particular struck me and fits in with what I posted the other about walking with each other in our difficult times. Here's the chorus:

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way.
(c) 2003 Club Zoo Music / SWEC Music (Admin. by Club Zoo Music) / BMI. All rights reserved.

Reaching...
Healing...
Teaching...
Going...
Showing...

I would add listening, and walking, and praying, and upholding. In a discussion with my daughter the other evening we were talking about the failings of organized religion- church. We said, in far less poetic ways, what Casting Crowns is saying. We get so caught up on so many petty, or personal, or insignificant, or angry, or selfish things that we forget that it isn't about us. It's about doing what Jesus did and living like Jesus lived. No, we are not going to be perfect. Only He was perfect. But it is not about being perfect- it is about being faithful.

Why isn't there healing and reaching, showing and going happening? Are we afraid? Or have we become something other than His body? Have we become Our Institution instead?

When the Rain Pauses
We have had a lot of rain in Minnesota this spring. Day after day it seems. Well, the sun came out today. It was in the low 80s and was a perfect day to get outside and work on the yard, plant flowers, have our first barbecue of the season. It wasn't only the rain that kept getting in the way for me. I have just had another one of my Bad-Back-Bouts. But it really does feel good to get out and do some work on a sunny day.

Not very profound- but then, some of the greatest things we can do are the simple, everyday events.

Funeral Reflections
I didn't get a chance to see this morning's services live. So I made sure to watch this evening's news and then the service in Simi Valley. Here are some reflections and images.

:: The appropriate pomp and flavor for Ronald Reagan. In the grandeur of the National Cathedral to the open skies of California, that, and more, I am sure was Ronald Reagan. Perhaps that was what made him so loved- he was a man who could move in these many areas with equal ease.

:: Mrs. Reagan's demeanor waiting on the tarmac at the air station as the 21-gun salute proceeded and throughout the service. In many ways she must just be going through the motions, as any of us would. "Dignity and nobility" were the words that the pastor used.

:: Seeing actors and entertainers like Mickey Rooney and Pat Sacjak at the funeral in Simi Valley. Overall, what a difference from the morning!

:: The ability to live the events thanks to TV. It may have first happened when JFK was assassinated- the nation sharing in a time of grief. It was done well again.

:: Thanks to C-Span for their willingness to just show the events without the need for description and narration.

:: Even so- it is well with my soul...

:: There is something lonely-looking about a hearse, even in a motorcade, driving along a highway.

:: For Lincoln it was a train for weeks across the country, stopping in city after city for a time of remembrance. For John Kennedy there was the last flight to Washington from Dallas and then a few days later, a caisson through the streets.

:: Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on to the light...

:: The Pastor/Priest leads the way for the casket even when it is a former President of the United States.

:: What a long day it has been for the family. From an early start on the east coast to sunset in California.

:: This evening was truly the family's intimate funeral. We were all privileged to be allowed to be there with them as they shared the man with us. In the end, whether it's the President of the United States or some unknown stranger on the streets of the cities, we all face this day. I talked about it yesterday with some personal concern. There is, in the end, nothing that will prevent us from facing the ways of life that end in death.

:: A funeral is finally a time of witness and memory and faith and worship. In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

:: And so, the sun sets. Rest in peace, Mr. Reagan. Rest in peace.

The Valley of the Shadow of Death
I have recently found myself walking in the shadow of death with some people very close to me. One is my old friend whose wife died quite suddenly of cancer earlier this year. After 42 years of marriage, and with many hopes and dreams of their retired life together, this has been an extremely difficult time. Every time we talk I am almost overwhelmed by his pain. He is a man of deep faith and an incredible ability to ponder the mysteries of life. He knows God is real. But the depth of loss is someplace I don't even want to think about. It is a journey- a pilgrimage- through a very dark place with the only light coming from a God that is suddenly different. I am going to visit in a few weeks and in whatever small ways I am able, to help support him in his walk.

Such walks are important. They cannot be avoided, though at times we deny their existence or reality for us. We put on the happy face and try to be the "perfect" person of faith. But inside we are confused, lost, angry, sad, afraid. We wonder why people go on living when we are faced with this darkness. It is our task as friends, family, fellow pilgrims to walk with each other. It is our place to be there with them- not with answers for answers only come with time and personal experience of the healing presence of God. No- it is simply our own wounded presence we bring, offering comfort and safety and non-judgemental grace.

CNN Obituary

I'm Back
Great Weekend! Good relaxing time. So much is happening. Where to start...

R.I.P. - President Ronald Reagan
As a starting disclaimer- I was not- and still am not- a supporter of Mr. Reagan. From many perspectives he was more show and words than actual great deeds. His cutting of social services, the massive budget deficit, the support for such insanity as the Iran-Contra affair. No, there were many things that were not up my alley.

Yet, he should probably go down in history as one of the more important presidents we have had. He (and Pope John Paul II) could arguably be considered the two most important men in world history the past 50 years. Reagan's strong, unshakeable conviction of the evil of the Soviet/Communist empire led him to a position of strength in negotiations. His stance hastened the downfall of European communism. Yet, he was the American president that managed to also parlay that stance into nuclear disarmament talks. I still remember the wonderful shock after the talks in Iceland that eventually opened up many areas of negotiation. Just like Nixon may have been the best one to open relations with China, Reagan may have been the best one to accomplish that.

There was one other thing about Mr. Reagan that struck me in reading the reports and essays these past few days... his sunny optimism and belief in the possibilities, instead of focussing on the liabilities. It may be one of the major shortcomings of so many of those who have called themselves "liberal." We do tend to see the glass as half-empty more often than we should. We do tend to focus on the things that are wrong more often than on the things that are right. Yes, I know that we do that so we can bring about change. But I wonder whether that is as effective an agent of change as we like to think?

But in any case, Mr. Reagan certainly changed the world by his views and his optimism and his strength of personality. He was one of the towering figures and we as a nation should pay our respects and perhaps give him his due for what he accomplished.

Some Days of Rest
I may be off-line for a day or two, taking a brief holiday, returning to Wisconsin for a wonderful graduation of the son of a friend. Connections with friends of long-standing is a joy and I am going to enjoy. Hence this, and the D-Day post are early. See you in a day or so.

The Day That Changed the War

[quote from General Eisenhower, June, 1944, engraved in the Memorial granite of the World War II Memorial, Washington, D.C.]

I have nothing new or profound or even insightful to say. Lincoln's words at Gettysburg- short and to the point speak for this day as well.

   ...we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have hallowed it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

   It is rather for us the living, we here be dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they here gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.
Abraham Lincoln, November 19, 1863, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

The End of the School Year
Well, I have just finished my first semester as a Chemical Health Worker in the school system. After 30 years as a pastor, I have spent the last five months doing something completely different, yet in many ways the same. I have seen almost 100 youth in my offices this semester. I have tried my best to be available to them and help them figure out what it is that is going on in their lives. In addition I have talked to almost 600 students in classroom settings, talking about what I do, why I do it, and some of the problems and concerns related to alcohol or drug use.

I have had 5 of the best months of my life. Perhaps because of the differences with what I have done all of my adult life, this was amazing. I didn't have to be "The Administrator" or "The Holy One" or "The Spiritual One" or "The One With All The Answers To Life's Problems." I could "minister" in the fullest and best sense of the word without judgement or concern about theological correctness. I could share my experience, strength and hope without wondering what the church would think about it.

Sure, I had the schools and county to think about. But as long as I remained ethical and appropriate and professional, I didn't need to worry about it. I certainly have learned over the years how to be all those things. That is what made it so neat. I was back on the front lines of living my faith in the world.

I also came to a deeper and profounder appreciation for the work of our public schools. I have always been a big supporter of public schools. Private schools and home schooling have their place, but for most of us the public school system is where we should be. It is filled with teachers and administrators and staff and counselors who care and care very, very, very deeply for their students. They want the best for them and want to give them their best. They are truly heroes in the lives of our children. I am honored to be working among them.

"How then does this compare to the other 30 years? Do you like it better?"

Not a trick question. It is just different. This is how God has chosen to call me and is choosing to use me today. If I see what I'm doing as no different from what I was doing- following the call of God in my life- then it is not a question of which one is better. I have never- NEVER- liked the idea that theclergy are somehow more spiritual, more important to the Kingdom, more religious, or more effective at doing God's work. Clergy are not our substitutes, our proxy spiritual people.

   ~~ We are all ministers.
   ~~ We are all ordained to God's service. (That's what baptism is!)
   ~~ We are all called.
A whole religious revolution called The Reformation was founded on the idea of the priesthood of ALL believers. We have just been slow (like 500 years slow) in making that a living reality.

What an Odd Mix
If you have been following the posts this past week you may have noticed an unusual mixture of posts- even paradoxical.

There have been a couple of posts on pacifism inspired by Stanley Hauerwas and David Dellinger.

There was a post on Memorial Day and Sunday there will be a post on the 60th Anniversary of D- Day.

In other words- peace and war. Do you think I'm having difficulty figuring out where I stand?

No, not really. The older I have gotten the more comfortable I am with paradox. The easier it is to admit that I don't have all the answers and that as long as I live I will be wrestling with some of these big issues that have no simple answers. Being a follower of Jesus adds a different dimension to my wrestling and a sense of more than what we humans can ever begin to explain. Maybe another word for it is the one in today's earlier post- mystery. Perhaps that applies to more than just the Holy, but also to the relation of the Holy to everything else we do.

So I live with the inconsistencies and the unanswered questions. After all, what greater paradox has there ever been than God becoming fully human and then dying on a cross?

Nothing But Mystery
Another wonderful quote from the equally wonderful book, The Secret Life of Bees

...there is nothing but mystery in the world, how it hides behind the fabric of our poor, browbeat days, shining brightly, and we don't even know it.
Lily Owens in The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd.

We don't like mystery. Let me rephrase that, the "enlightenment" mind, the "modern" mind, doesn't like mystery. Science and philosophy and theology all have spent most of the Modern Age seeking answers to mystery. De-mythologizing in theology is just a fancy name for getting rid of what we can't explain. Even fundamentalism's view of inerrancy of scripture is just another attempt to explain mystery.

Perhaps what we need more of is allowing God to be God without our need to explain Him and His ways. To sit in awe of what God can do without trying to make "logical" sense of it is an experience beyond words- mystery. To take the bread and cup of the Eucharist without having to have a degree in theology to understand it is an experience that changes life without words- mystery.

In Memory-
David Dellinger
I didn't catch the news item last week. Perhaps it wasn't very widely covered. David Dellinger, one of the infamous/famous Chicago Seven defendants of the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago, died last week at age 88. Perhaps best known as the organizer of the March on Washington in 1967 that Norman Mailer turned into his book, Armies of the Night," Dellinger was a life-long pacifist. Here's a little bit from the CNN obituary:

Mainly I think he'll be remembered as a pacifist who meant business," said Tom Hayden, a fellow '60s radical and member of the Chicago Seven who went on to become a California legislator. "His pacifism was very forceful. He didn't mind interjecting himself between armed federal marshals and someone they were pushing around."

"You want us to be like good Germans," Dellinger told the Chicago court judge, Julius Hoffman, "supporting the evils of our decade, and then when we refused to be good Germans and came to Chicago and demonstrated, now you want us to be like good Jews, going quietly and politely to the concentration camps while you and this court suppress freedom and the truth. And the fact is, I am not prepared to do that."

Greg Guma, editor of the political magazine Toward Freedom, called Dellinger "one of the major figures in terms of peace and social justice of the last half century."
CNN, May 26, 2004

Those were strange and scary and exciting and invigorating and awful and wonderful and unusual days. More things than any of us knew or understood. We know now that some of what we did and said was downright self-centered if not also self-righteous. We know that at times we were cruel to each other and to those we disagreed with. That was true on both sides of the cosmic issues of life and death and war and peace and the length of one's hair. Many have no doubt spent many hours and days and years pondering the rights and wrongs of the Sixties.

But through all that I remember thinking of Dellinger as a man of honesty and integrity. I remember that he was this "old guy over 30" who was there with the hippies and peacniks. He was 53 at the time of the convention and 54 at the time of the trial. Well over 30! He seemed to be both a voice of reasoned pacifism and age. We hot-headed, long-haired types were riding his coattails. He gave us a connection that we didn't know we had.

Now I am sure that he was not a saint. None of us is. I am sure that there are many of his leftist views that I would no longer think as having connection to reality. The fall of the Berlin Wall and the Soviet Union got rid of some of those. But his commitment to pacifism remains.

Dellinger had been a candidate for ministry in the years prior to WW II. He was president of his class at Union Seminary, but ran into trouble when his pacifism led him to refuse to register for the draft. He was expelled from school, denounced, and unable to find a church to support him in ministry. He was arrested for draft evasion and spent three years in prison.

Today I am just a few years older than Dellinger was in 1968. My commitment to pacifism, while as deeply rooted, is not as strident. I waffle and seek compromise. Sometimes a good thing- but when compromising with evil, I don't think so. The danger is in naming ones enemies and opponents and those who disagree with you as an evil. Sometimes they may be. More often than not they are but an extreme version of what we have in ourselves that we are afraid of.

Perhaps that is why we are sometimes more afraid of pacifism than we are of war. We may discover that we are not able to uphold our ideals as well as we would like to. We may discover that we can fall prey to human feelings and reactions. Pacifism, life-long non-violence like a Gandhi or Martin Luther King or David Dellinger, challenges us to live the words we mouth and the ideals we espouse.
NYT Obituary, Blog of Death Obituary.

An Aha! Moment-
Making Sense of the End of the Book of Job
It happened the other morning. I finally got it- the end of the Book of Job.

Job has always been one of my favorite books of the Old Testament. There is a raw and personal honesty in the book. I actually came to Job through the back door of Archibald MacLeish's Pulitzer Prize winning play JB and have since learned to love the book.

The book is the story of a righteous man who is tested by Satan. Take everything away, says the evil one, and he will curse God. Not so, says the Holy One. So Job loses it all and ends up on the dung heap- refusing to curse God and die. Through gritted teeth he repeats, The Lord gives; the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Along come his friends who have all the theological answers for Job's suffering. He has sinned big time. No truly righteous person would suffer like this. Job demands justice and says, I am not a sinner. He shakes his fists at heaven demanding an answer from the unseen Creator. The friends babble on like so many of us religious people have done when faced with a mystery and a suffering so great we cannot believe it is beyond our reasoning.

In the end, the Voice of God comes from the whirlwind (Penecostal power?), silencing Job, urging him to Stand up like a man and remember that God is still in heaven. There is a God and Job ain't Him. Job surrenders in humble confession.

And God gives him everything back that he lost and then some.

Theologians have debated the ending feeling it takes away from the power of the rest of the story. This restoration is too pat, too easily manipulated by the self-righteous. To easily able to be used as a weapon against someone who hasn't had it all restored after a tragedy. I have often felt the same way. Until a simple sentence came from a speaker at a 12-Step convention.

After I truly surrendered to God in my 3rd Step, I got back everything I had lost- family,friends,job, wife. All I had to do was stop trying to control God and the world and things turned around in my life.

Well, doh! It really is that simple. It is not a difficult theological problem. All it takes is surrender- turning my will and life over to the care of God. The result is not some mystical return of everything as a reward for being righteous. It is that when I surrender I have turned the outcome of my life back over to God.

I have a hunch that is a truism that the author of Job knew as he wrote down the events of the book. No matter what happens in your life, don't blame God, trust God. The result will be the return of a life filled with hope and promise. If one trusts God, whatever one has will be greater than if one did not trust God. Whatever one gets as a result of ceasing to maintain control over the uncontrollable, will seem like a treasure beyond description.