Don't Change
Another deep and profoundly simple story from Anthony de Mello:

I was a neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and selfish. Everyone kept telling me to change.

I resented them, and I agreed with them, and I wanted to change, but simply couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

What hurt the most was that, like the others, my best friend kept insisting that I change. So I felt powerless and trapped.

Them one day, he said to me, "Don't change. I love you just as you are."

Those words were music to my ears: "Don't change. Don't change. Don't change... I love you as you are."
I relaxed. I came alive. And suddenly I changed!

Now I know that I couldn't really change until I found someone who would love me whether I changed or not.

Is this how you love me, God?

from The Song of the Bird
by Anthony de Mello.

When you really stop to think about it, that may very well be what God is all about. We give lip service to "while we were still sinners" but live as if the requirement is to change first. Especially when we talk about others. The truth is that while I was unable to change at the very heart of my problem- Sin- God did what He had to do to let me know that I am loved- just as I am. Wow!

Telling Stories
Like Real Live Preacher I have recently seen (and now purchased) Big Fish. And like RLP, I also love to (have to?) tell stories that I too know need to contain the Gospel. After all, something as important as the Gospel should not be relegated to dull and dry non-story. Here's a paragraph from RLP:

And every story I tell is a gospel story, for they are the only ones I know. I lift my eyes, and all I see are stars and sun and blue. I put my hands down, and all I feel are the heads of children. And even my darkest, hardest stories have a hint of good news peeking out of the shadow.

In Your Own Best Interest
We can often use that phrase in selfish, uncaring ways. "Look out for yourself." Or we can use it as a warning. "You know, it's in your own best interest to follow the doctor's advice." Or we can use it as a statement of fact. "If you don't do this something you don't like will happen to you."

Tonight I heard a speaker talk about this in relation to prayer and following God's will in our lives. "You know," he said, "to listen for God's will in prayer and meditation is really in your own best interest." Of course it is! Who other than God has the best of our best interests in mind? Who else but God knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt what is in our own best interest? He is The One who started it all and knows what we need. Yet we act as if God's will is painful and awful and harmful. If we really did God's will everything would be dull and dreary and no fun. We think of doing God's will and think that God is going to knock us down and make us crawl through the mud- or worse. God's will can't be enjoyable can it?

Of course it can- and is.

Our mistake is often two-fold. First, we believe that God is an awful, punishing God who is ready to strike us down at a momen't notice and that He doesn't like anything that's fun. (Not true.) Second, we believe that following God has nothing to do with our everyday lives and world. It has to do only with the life after this one. (Not true.) We have missed the whole point of Christian teaching- to live in this life like Jesus did and does.

When I walked in the house this evening there was another Jesus special on TV. This one was on the National Geographic Channel. One of the comments echoed some of what I (and others) have written the past few weeks. We treat the resurrection as something that "happened" and not as something that is "happening." It is a dusty piece of history to bre preached about in a motivational-type way, but as to living- well, let's not go there. We say we believe in the power of the resurrection- and then live as if it never happened.

Until we ourselves have known the resurrection as reality or been close to someone who has or discover that a resurrected life can give hope when there didn't seem to be any. Thanks be to God who gives us (now, today) the victory in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Saving the Church's Soul
The latest Sojourner's email newsletter had an article by David Batstone, author of the book Saving the Corporate Soul. One of his points:

* Congregations regularly confuse organizational values and desired outcomes. Due to the graying of church members and the general decline in attendance, church councils often admit that their number one priority is to reach young families. As understandable as that goal may be, it is not a mission or a value. It's a desired outcome. The congregation must first step back and identify the five key values that it wants the organization to serve. That first step is the foundation for every other leadership and structural decision that the church makes. It also is the linchpin to how successful the church will be in reaching its desired outcomes. You don't bring in young families unless your community highly values, in a palpable way, the things they care about as well.

Very good thoughts. We see it at work all the time in churches. They panic and think that they have to find a "magic bullet" or attract the "right people" or provide the "right program." They (we?) forget, as Batstone points out, that these are not values or a mission. The church has been "mission-less" on a local level for so long that we don't even know what that word means. We have been lulled into self-serving, self-care.

But there is movement going on. Not just in the Emergent movement but in many ways. Mission trips, mission work, Bible study, meaningful worship in indigenous styles are forming. Ministry to communities will come out of that. But as Batstone points out, there has to be a mission and value undergirding it.

Note
I have re-subscribed to Squawk Box. Comments will return when it goes through their system. Sorry about the incovenience :(
and thanks to Bene for the heads-up on it.

Wise Up
Had a discussion with some friends tonight about anger and its affects on all of us. Anger is one of those things that can truly mess up life. It festers. It eats away. It builds up in secret. Then it boils over and someone is hurt. Or, as someone has said, we turn it inward and find ourselves in major depression. In short, anger is a dangerous thing. It can lead to resentments and a lot of crazy stuff going on in our heads. Or as another someone (don't you love all these "someones" who have so much to say?) has said, that allows the other person to live rent free in our heads. And you know what, it also means that we are the ones getting hurt by it. The person we are angry with doesn't even know or care.

So after I got home I picked up the book of poems by the Sufi mystic, Hafiz, called The Gift and found a wonderful poem that says the same thing. So for all of us who get angry easily and try to blame others for what is happening (or even blaming ourselves for the messes we make) here are words of ancient wisdom.

The Sad Game

Blame

Keeps the sad game going.

It keeps stealing all your wealth-

Giving it to an imbecile with

No financial skills.

Dear one,

Wise

Up.

from The Gift: Poems by Hafiz translated by Daniel Ladinsky.

A Bigger Problem in Nigeria Than Howard Stern
Just went leap-blogging and found this from nearly two weeks ago at the Christianity Today weblog.

While the FCC cracks down on "indecent" broadcasts here in the states, Nigeria is facing a broadcasting bust of a different kind. The country's National Broadcasting Commission recently announced that it would essentially ban the broadcast of miracles on network television.

Last week, Nigeria's Vanguard newspaper described the action as a "crackdown on those who carry unverifiable claims on radio and television, as such practices prey on the sensibilities of the Nigerian people." This week (as well as in an earlier article), the same paper describes it as a "ban on televised religious miracles," and notes that it takes effect April 30.

I'm not entirely sure what to think about it. So I will leave it without comment.

Dangerous
Saw a bumper sticker today that I liked:

   ::.:: I think - therefore I'm dangerous ::.::

How true. Whenever dictators or despots or anyone else tries to control people it is the thinking that goes first. Whether as it is portrayed in the classics like Brave New World, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, or even Lord of the Flies, it is essential to those who want to remain in control of situations like that to control how people think for themselves. Sell them the party line, the official story, the one-sided presentation then demonize or ostracize the other opinions. You can now be in charge since you have the only right story.

Thought of that yesterday in our confirmation class where I showed a movie about John Hus, the Czech reformer who was burned at the stake in 1415 for heresy. (Disclosure: His followers founded the Unitas Fratrum, known in many places today as the Moravian Church, in 1457, 60 some years before Martin Luther.) It was essential for the maintenance of power that the people not think for themselves, read the Bible in their own language, or even appeal directly to God. As long as there was a "privileged elite" known as the clergy, they must maintain control. Hus was too much trouble because he thought for himself.

To think and research and ask questions and even think outside the box is essential for the growth of faith. As long as our faith (or our politics or just about any other opinion) remains unquestioned, unexamined, and simply inherited from the generation before, it will not be ours. Don't question the perceived wisdom. Don't wonder if it might be off-base. Don't challenge the powers that be.

As I have gotten older, I think I have discovered that wisdom at times is knowing which questions to ask and which to let alone. It is not to stop thinking or take the unthinking approach of we are right and they are wrong. We baby boomers made a chaotic art of raising questions 40 years ago. I hope our children and grandchildren continue to do the same and we recognize that it is the only way they can find for themselves the truths- old and new- waiting to be rediscovered.

Winged Migration
Watched this beautiful documentary last evening. There are wonderful shots after wonderful shots after awesome pictures after awesome pictures. The scenes of flying birds are remarkable and almost look like computer graphics. But they are not. They started this project by working at imprinting baby birds with connections with the humans and machines who would follow and film them. (Shown in an extra on the DVD.) The result is beauty. Now, it is not an exciting film. There's not a lot of action-adventure in following birds flying north and then south through a year. Instead there is just beauty. And that is something the world needs all the time.

As I watched one particular segment with the birds flying over open ocean- and flying- and flying- and flying, I was struck by the way God created these animals. The beauty in their flight and the tenacious genetics that make them do it. They do it because that is what they do and they are truly a sight to behold. I first thought with gratitude that I could see this. Then I wondered if part of the reason that God created so much with beauty in the world is so He can enjoy it for what it is- an extension of His own beauty and wonder? Whatever the reasons, and whatever that God is doing, it is something to see.

Safe and Comfortable
Sitting in church this morning I realized for the first time what many "non-clergy" have said over the years about coming to church to find comfort and peace. I sat with the choir, my wife is still on vacation so wasn't leading worship. I was simply sitting as one more worshipper- no responsibility other than to sing with the choir. It was a unique experience and I felt comfortable in safe, familiar surroundings. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit as we sang, prayed, and listened to scripture. It was a good feeling!

I will have to ponder that more as I continue on my pilgrimage as a non-clergy for the first time in 30 years. How does that fit into the need to be disciples? Where does this work together with the call to follow Jesus? Perhaps it is in worship that we can respond to the question, "Do you love me?" In that remembrance we give our confession of faith. But then, as we prepare to leave the worship setting we cannot forget that as we do so we are following him.

Follow? You Mean I Have to Do Something?

And Jesus turned to Peter and asked if Peter loved Jesus? If so, Feed My sheep and follow me.

Dallas Willard, adapted from the classic book- The Divine Conspiracy has this to say about what that means:

[I]t could well prove to be a major turning point in our life if we would ... ask ourselves if we really do intend to be life students of Jesus. Do we really intend to do and be all of the high things we profess to believe in? Have we decided to do them? When did we decide it? And how did we implement that decision?

Not a Rash Move
Today I passed my Technicians class Amateur Radio written exam! That means that I will finally get my ham radio license. Not one to rush into things, this is one of those things that I have wanted to do since I was at least 13 years old. (That was 42 years ago, by the way.) I just never worked at learning the Morse code that was required before getting the license. Back in 2000, the FCC got rid of the Morse code requirement for the entry level license. I kept putting it off until this past month. So today, I finally got my license. Now, I will probably go for the Morse code as well.

So I check off another of that list of things I want to do or see before I die.

What's left on the list? Let's see, a few are:
    >> Raft down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon.
     >> Visit Alaska and see Denali National Park.
      >> Start a jazz band. (I think this may be the next one on the list.)
       >> Get my Christmas stories published.
        >> See a regular season football game at Lambeau Field.
         >> Visit Africa.
          >> Get a motorcycle and do some touring.
           >> Visit Yellowstone National Park.

Books, too!
I spoke the other day about the first time I heard Gershwin and how it changed my appreciation of life. Well there's a book or two that did the same thing with words. I can't remember the grade for sure. It may even have been two separate grades. But two books touched me and took me into the world of books that I have never stopped exploring.

The first was the romantic, Foreign Legion-based story, Beau Geste by Percival Wren. It was made into a classic movie, but the book moved me first. Adventure, mystery, romance. What a combination.

Then there was A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. The French Revolution in the best and worst of times and far better things to do than had ever been done. Also a classic movie, the books weaving of stories and history helped me discover the power of words.

Sure there were others. I was a voracious reader as a child- still am. But these were the books that moved me from a young adult reader into the world of fiction and literature. Many others followed:
Loren Eisely, Elie Wiesel, J. R. R. Tolkein, Harper Lee, Shakepeare (better seen than read!), Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimove, Robert Heinlein. Later with spiritual giants like Henri Nouwen discovering that overtly religious writing didn't have to be dull. Worlds, and worlds, and worlds- all in words! Another gift from God.

Speaking of Courage
Richard of Connexions fame has posted over at Bene Diction Blogs On a challenging rebuttal to those who would insist that not liking a movie is heresy. Of course, it is The Movie. Here is a little of what he said:

This charge is, I'm afraid to say, a huge pile of foetid dingoes kidneys. To claim that criticism of the violence of Gibson's gorefest amounts to heresy is the worst kind of partisan propaganda. Far from docetism, my criticism of the violence of this film is precisely that it fails to present Jesus as fully human. Jesus in this film is not a man. He is a superman, who can be whipped and beaten to any extent - and still get up and carry a cross.

A number of thoughts come to mind. I have not seen the movie. I did not feel I needed to be battered by Jesus' suffering and death. That is a choice I make. It does not make me a weak or bad Christian or even a heretic. I just don't want to see it. What makes it a requirement that as a Christian I have to see- and like and support- any movie about Jesus produced from a particular perspective.

Neither does it mean I don't believe. Not going to a movie is not found in any list of things that keep us from salvation.

In many ways I feel used by Mel Gibson's PR machine. Even after it was clear that there would be a distributor and that the "box office" would be big, Mel Gibson was still out there fanning the flames of publicity. Nothing wrong with that. Every producer/director/star does that with their films. It is standard operating procedures. But don't wrap it up in supporting "Christian" entertainment. And don't give me the sob story about how Gibson had to put up "his own money" for the movie. That's what producers do. It was an investment.

Last night on one of the cable network shows I came across the end of a heated debate claiming that the "media elite" is conspiring to keep The Movie off the networks. It is the continuing PR blitz and the continuing sense of victimization and persecution that some people seem to want to feel.

This is not a judgement of the movie, those wanting to see it, or the evangelistic benefits of the movie. All I say- in agreement with Richard- don't wrap it in the middle of a Christian litmus test.

32 Years- and Counting
Just a personal note. Today is my wife's and my 32nd wedding anniversary. Not even our closest friends 32 years ago would have believed it was possible.

It has been a great ride and I am looking forward to many more!

And with that comes the right to wax wise on how to do it...

It is actually easier than you think: Here are some of my wise understandings of what is required to make 32 years:

1> Get Old
2> Don't get divorced
3> Don't die (a corollary of #1)
4> Don't try to change the other person
5> Be yourself
6> Pray a lot
7> Don't take yourself too damn seriously.
8> Always believe that your love has not even reached the half way point.

Not that hard at all. (Don't I wish!) Val- thanks. I love you!

I Struck a Chord
My post of two days ago on Why Am I Afraid? obviously struck a chord (in harmony) with several others. Four comments is a record for this pmPilgrim wandering blog, I think. And it wasn't about sex, drugs, or rock and roll.

Seriously, though, I have a hunch that many of us are in the same boat. It is simple fear of how other people will respond. Some of our fears at times may be warranted. People say nasty things in blog comments. People will go after you in churches or business or school if you stand up against them. As Bene said in his comment, it is about being afraid to tell a bully they are a bully. So we remain quiet. Or we can be afraid to lose our job. Or... ... ... ...

So what is the answer? Well, I still don't have one from the other day. But I have noticed that I have become more aware of my opinions that perhaps need to be shared. I am more conscious of it in my daily life. Perhaps that will carry over to the blog. And perhaps, it can be a matter of choosing which fights are worth having.

Bene Diction blogs on also has comments on this. He has a significant addition to my last line on choosing your battles. He adds, using Leighton Tebay as an example, that

even more importantly, I think we have to pick how we fight them... [snip] All my common fears with Barry aside, I think I'll keep praying about how to pick my battles, and I'll try to pick how to fight them. There are blogs I really don't need to go to. That choice doesn't need to be complicated.

How well God must like you--you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road, you don't go to Smart-Mouth College. Psalm 1:1 The Message

Mockers stir up a city,
but wise men turn away anger.
Proverbs 29:8 NIV

Good words and advice. Maybe we will see on some of our blogs (this one included) some thoughtful courage showing up where some of used to be afraid.

4/20- Marijuana, and Columbine
4/20. 4:20. Marijuana dates and times. They have become, in the marijuana sub-culture times for getting high. Where it originally came from is a mystery and the stuff of urban legend. (No, it has nothing to do with a police code.) But it has crept into the culture and those in the know wink and smile and set wristwatch alarms. Even if they don't get high at that time, they sure think about it.

But five years ago another event- and perhaps a different subculture- took this day and twisted it even further. As Harris and Klebold forced their way into our national consciousness at Columbine High School, they left behind a change in our national life that we have not yet understood. Like the Oklahoma City bombing on 4/19/95 it was internal terrorism. Timothy McVeigh did it under the guise of politics. Klebold and Harris in the guise of revenge and getting even. Internal terror is just as scary as bin Laden-Terrorism. Maybe more so. Any school on any day with any student could be the next Columbine.

This year is the first time I have ever worked in school. Today was the first 4/20 I have had in a school. I don't know if anyone else felt it, but I had a sense of uncertainty all day. Some was due to the marijuana connection. As an alcohol and drug counselor, I knew I might be called. (I wasn't.) As a worker in the school, I realized that this morning was no different than the one in Columbine 5 years ago. It can happen anywhere. I see kids who get bullyed and picked on. I see kids filled with anger. I see kids who are barely holding on to normalcy because of hundreds of different causes.

In some ways it is surprising that it doesn't happen more often. For that I think we can give thanks to the teachers and counselors and principals and deans and aides and secretaries and nurses and food service workers and many unnamed support people. They care. Many care deeply. I am impressed in these first four months in the school to see how much they care and how far many will go to help children succeed. Sure, there are exceptions, but they are that, exceptions to a large group of caring professionals and workers in our schools. That I think is why there aren't more Columbines.

Sadly some fall through the cracks. These are the truly cagy and creative ones. These are the ones who have learned how to play the game so well and put on the act and the face. Sure there are signs, but it is impossible to catch every sign. Whether it is the FBI/CIA or the social service workers in Colorado. Klebold and Harris are the nightmares of every social service worker, counselor, probation officer. The ones we miss. The ones who somehow or another manage to slip past. In a world that has become more polarized and often more uncertain and violent, I stop today in memory of the events of Columbine. We are different today. We have come a long way in 5 years. May the work of our schools and teachers and staff and social service workers be given the continuing support needed to keep these from happening again.

So Why Am I Afraid?
Yesterday I posted some thoughts about why, as Christians knowing the end of the story of our lives and God's plans, we don't need to worry or be afraid.

So why then am I often afraid?

I am afraid to speak my opinions on some controversial issues.
I am afraid to admit in some circles that I am a recovering alcoholic and addict.
I am afraid from time to time that someone will argue with me and make a fool of me because of what I say I believe.
I am afraid to step out of safe places and safety in general.
I am afraid to take risks, especially when job or prestige is on the line.

But if, as I said yesterday, God is in charge and has given me power and direction and hope....

Why am I so often afraid?

Well...
    sometimes it is because I can be a man of such little faith...
    sometimes it is because I am a follower who can't think for himself...
    sometimes my comfort and ease is more important...
    sometimes it is because I want people to like me...
    sometimes it is because life is already hard enough at times, why bring more on myself...
    sometimes it is because I don't want to start controversy...

I thought of all this when I went to one of the Christian/political blogs after writing my post last night. I thought of the strong opinions expressed on many of those blogs- whether right or left or somewhere in the middle. I realized I don't want people to attack me, or criticize me, or think less of me. So I take the safe road. Even though I know and believe that as a Christian I am to be a leaven in the world, even though I know and believe that God has strong opinions about a great deal of these political issues, I leave them aside in order to not rock the boat too much.

I am a person with strong opinions. Make no mistake about it. I enjoy discussing them face-to-face to see reactions and develop a rapport. Perhaps that is why I don't do that much of it here. But that is only an excuse. The real reason is I am afraid for all the reasons above and probably many more. It is hard to be a Christian when the world doesn't want to hear what you have to say. It is hard to be a Christian when I believe that the Christian position will always be in opposition to both sides of the political spectrum and be about transformation from beyond the political sphere.

Then, after finishing writing those words I did some leap-blogging around and came across an amazing quote from N. T. Wright (thanks to Jordon Cooper). Here is part of it:

We have connived at our own belittling. It's a natural reaction. The big dogs in the street have barked at us and we have shrunk back into our safe little worlds. The big boys in the playground have sneered at us and we have become embarrassed about our faith and hope, as if they were a sordid little secret. The god of money gets cross with us if we propose remitting Third World debt. The god of war is furious if we challenge the Iraq war. (An unknown e-mail correspondent from Alabama called me anti-American the other day, and when, perhaps foolishly, I challenged this trivialisation she snapped back that I was obviously not self-aware. Nice to be psychoanalysed from thousands of miles away on the basis of a newspaper report.) The god of sex has some interesting names to call us if we insist on maintaining the morality common to millennia of Jews, Christians, Muslims and many others.

The self-appointed cultural guardians of late modernity mock us if we challenge all three of these false gods, since to question the first two makes us look "radical" and to challenge the third today seems "conservative" - and everybody knows that our current left-right spectrum is a Law of the Medes and Persians, written in the stars, fixed and unalterable. Meanwhile the Church, like so many of its older buildings, seems to be saying to the passer-by: "Not much happening here. Just a quiet, sad little place for quiet, sad little people." A bit like the women at the tomb on the evening of Good Friday. A bit like the silent, waiting garden on Holy Saturday.

Ouch. That was what I was talking about and feeling. I, too, say, not much happening here. I'm just a Christian.

Just a Christian? Wait a minute... We know the end of the story. We live after Easter when all principalities and powers were put in notice that things can never be the same. Wright continues:

But what the sniggering Sadducees never bargained for, what the viciously efficient pagan soldiers never anticipated, what never entered the head of our barking, sneering late-modern culture, was that the God of life and love and new possibilities might do a new thing. The interpretation of Easter itself has been scrunched into the trap laid by modernity, and the Church has gone along with it. Either Easter becomes a happy little ending for an otherwise sad story, or it's about bunnies and daffodils, or it's the bald affirmation that there is after all a life after death. Modernity can cope with all those (hardly surprising, since it generated them in the first place). None of them would have made any sense to the first Christians, least of all the last: almost everyone believed in life after death, but Easter meant life after "life after death" - a new bodily existence after a period of being bodily dead.

What neither modernity nor cynical postmodernity can cope with - and hence what they, like the cultural thought police of the first century, stamp on whenever they see it - is the suggestion that the gloom of Good Friday and the lull of Holy Saturday are the prelude to a new kind of life. This sort of life bursts out and challenges all our power systems (in an electronically manipulated democracy, power follows money and the media), and declares once more the shockingly unfashionable truth that Jesus is Lord.

Now I have to do some more thinking and praying on that, but I am left shaken by this- in a good way- that afflicts the comfortable in me.

Knowing the End of Your Story
One of the plot lines of the movie Big Fish involved the lead character, Edward Bloom, knowing how he was going to die. (This is not a plot spoiler. The incident happens early in the movie and we don't know what he learns.) The result of this knowledge we discover is that Edward needs never be afraid of what is happening to him at any given moment. Even when his life is in danger, he doesn't worry. He knows how he's going to die- and that isn't it. This of course leads to great acts of heroism and feats of daring which feeds his apparent propensity to tell tall tales.

But there is a great deal of truth in that. If we were to know that we would die peacefully in our sleep at age 99, we wouldn't worry if we were fighting in war, or if someone attacks us. That is not the end of the story. The result could be- in people with high morals and ethics- a life of great valor, daring, and courage.

It got me thinking though about what role our faith as Christians can play in providing the same kind of valor, daring, and courage. Not in a reckless way, of course, but in a way that makes a difference. In ways that provide a witness the power of the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. You see, we DO KNOW the end of the story. Our story- and God's. God remains God. We, receive through the grace of God in Jesus Christ, a way to beat death just as He did. He is the first fruits of those who have gone before. We follow him- he is preparing the way and the place.

Life is meaningful. Life is not some cosmic crap shoot. God, a God of love and hope and promise, remains in charge. He has already shown that in His Son. All we are called to do is accept Him and follow Him. Perhaps that is why in times of persecution the church has often gotten stronger, not weaker. Perhaps that is why so many who have stood up for the faith in times of struggle and death did so with a strong and unwavering trust.

To have that certainty of faith is truly a gift of grace. It is one more gift of the Holy Spirit. In the end we will be with Him and bow down with every knee on heaven and earth and under the earth proclaiming Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.

Minnesota Spring
Last week it was barely 40 degrees F.
Today it was a high of 88 degrees F.
Then we had our first severe storm outbreak of the season late this afternoon and evening.

It's never dull with the weather around here.

UPDATE: After I wrote that, thinking that the worst was over, it really turned dark. At 7:35 it was as dark as midnight- and it was still 25 minutes until sunset. Then the rains. No, not dull!

How To Be A Big Fish
Live in a big world.

Finally got to see the movie Big Fish today. Tall tales, myths, and storytelling are truly the things that make life what it is. We can so easily get bogged down by "Just the facts, ma'm!" that we lose the perspective that the world is deeper than facts and far more profound than reality as we see it logically. There is a mystical and spiritual side to the world and life that is far more than any facts can ever prove. There is a truth that is so powerful that no persuasion or recitation of facts can even come close to reaching it.

When we live in a world solely of facts- what is seen and see-able and understandable- we go through life with tunnel vision. Thomas, in this weeks Gospel lesson is a fact-seeker. It is a shame we have given him the nickname "doubter" because all he is doing is what most of us do- "Just the facts, ma'am. Don't confuse me with what doesn't make sense." He is a throughly modern, scientific man in that sense, far ahead of his time. And just as lost in the sea of facts as we can be.

Edward Bloom in the movie doesn't let facts get in the way of his life. He makes his life fill the reality of the world he knows. He knows how his life is going to end, so he doesn't worry about what happens before then. He sees the world as more than his factual son can even envision it. Is it real- or is it factual? Sometimes those do not need to have the same answer. Facts can never prove the existance of love, the power of the Spirit who is the very breath of God, or that the former occupant of an empty tomb 2000 years ago in Jerusalem is still around. Look for those facts and you will narrow your world. Believe those facts and life will grow to a previously unimaginable size. A "big fish" in a "small pond" is still in reality just a small fish. Let the Wind blow where it may- into the lives and hopes and aspirations of God's people. Then we will see the bigger world of the Spirit of God and we will grow into the Big Fish people.

P.S. I loved the movie and will be buying it as much for the spiritual dimensions above as well as the powerful father/son story it tells. It will go right there with Field of Dreams and A River Runs Through It.

An American in Paris and Beyond
Our Minnesota Valley Community Band is currently working on our spring concert for the beginning of May. It will be a mostly Gershwin concert. I have never played some of these arrangements and pieces before and it is a wonderful experience(even for a lowly 3rd trumpet.) Especially An American in Paris.

Many years ago in a much different world, a 9th grader was introduced to serious music for the first time. Miss Africa (yes, that was her name!) put the needle down on a 33 1/3 rpm record without telling the class anything about it. "Tell me what you hear," was all she said.

What I heard was cars, and car horns, and people scattering and moving. What I heard changed my view of the world. It brought music into focus in a whole new way. It was Gershwin's American in Paris. A remarkable mixture of orchestral, showpiece, concept and jazz music, as moving and alive today as it was when he wrote it 70 years ago or when I heard it for the first time 40 years ago. I already knew some popular music. My first records for my own record player were a couple novelty songs- The Chipmunk Song by David Seville and the Chipmunks and Beep-Beep by the Playmates. I had some march albums and a few others. But it wasn't until that wonderful day in 9th grade when I heard Gershwin that I truly got bitten by the music bug.

I found out that music was important and able to express as much without words as it could with words- maybe more. I found out that music can express moods and colors, feelings and temperature. I felt hot and cool and sad and busy and blue and red. All from a group of musicians playing some black spots on a page. Wow! Sometimes words mattered and sometimes they didn't. It was music and music was the language of life.

That love and appreciation of music has only deepened over these last 40 years for me. It is the joy of playing in the community band or singing in the choir and worship team. It is listening to CDs or radio. It is classical, rock, jazz, showtunes. What a gift of God and our response to him!

Amandla!
A Revolution in Four-Part Harmony
Added another movie/DVD to the list on the right- the documentary Amandla! A Revolution in Four-Part Harmony. It tells the story of the South African freedom music that held a people together during the years of the struggle against apartheid. Some of the musicians were in exile- Miriam Makeba, Hugh Masakela, Abdullah Ibrahim. Others were known only in their country. Archival footage, interviews and music remind us of the pain that was the hatred of apartheid. Amandla is the Xhosa word for "power" and is more than appropriate for what music can and does provide to any struggle.

It is a story of the spirituality of such a struggle and music is the language of spirituality in any culture. It was no coincidence that the freedom songs of the African-Americans were called "spirituals." Even when they were not overtly "religious" or "spiritual" they spoke the language of the spirit. In South Africa from the late 1940s into the 1990s such music took the form of danceable songs calling for war and victory. Others were dirges and laments singing the same words with the same power.

Said one of those interviewed:

I don't think the regime then realized the importance of song in the struggle... when Vuyisile Mini was hanged, he went to the gallows singing. [Later, others going to the gallows] sang Mini's own song-

   watch out Vervoerd, the black man will get you;
   watch out Vervoerd, the people have taken up the song;
   watch out Vervoerd, the world sings with Mini.

As I blogged a few weeks ago on the power of music and culture, the story and role of freedom songs in South Africa is just one more piece of evidence of how important music is. Many think it can be tamed. Many have done just that through marketing and making it a commodity. But underneath it all, it cannot ultimately be tamed. As Hugh Masekela said in the film,

Because you can't beat these people (the white regime) physically, you scare the shit out of them with the songs.

Young people, oppressed people, people with nowhere else to go can be empowered to be alive, no matter what.

It can be any music. I keep in my mind the closing scene of the movie about the Czech reformer (and Moravian forefather) John Hus. Like Vuyisile Mini, he died singing. His was a simple chant. for mercy and grace from God. I am sure that in its own way it was just as unnerving to the King and the Bishops of his day as Amandla! was in South Africa.

Rent the DVD and enjoy the power of music in people overcoming hatred and oppression.

Easter Has Just Begun
Found this on the Bruderhof Communities site:

The resurrection does not consist solely of what happened in the past, nor does it consist of what we happen to believe dogmatically about it—those are not the essential things. We do not gain much by just accepting that Christ died and rose again. Many people believe this, but nevertheless they go to hell. This belief is of no help unless you and I experience Jesus as Lord.

It is not the worst if some people are unable to believe that Christ rose from the dead—at least they still regard it as something tremendous, too tremendous to glibly confess. The sad thing is that so many people today claim to believe it, and yet it means so little to them. It has no effect in their lives. But there is resurrection today just as much as there was back then, after Christ’s death. There is resurrection—for with a certain part of our inner being we can be in a completely different place, where most people don’t dare to go. Our renewal is real to the extent that we find ourselves in an entirely different order.

Again and again Christ arises anew. In what we know of the risen Christ, God wants to renew all things. His will is for the earth as much as it is for the heavens. Otherwise we would never know his reality. We could never conceive of anything becoming different. We would think that his resurrected life was some spiritual thing that we human beings could not understand. That’s not what it is. No. The power of his resurrection is something that is within our reach.

Not Enough by Christoph Friedrich Blumhardt
Bruderhof Communities

On the Lighter Side
It's been a while since I did one of these. So, here is the American City I tested as:

Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"

Seattle
Your dark exterior masks a caffeine driven activism. You'll take up a cause and you'll get ugly to advance it.

It's a city I've never been to. Maybe its the love of coffee and espresso. But you know, we have those here in Minnesota, too. Not to mention the history and heritage of Paul Wellstone. Maybe I need to visit Seattle.

The Lord is Risen!
The Lord is Risen, Indeed!

But yes! He Lives! And therefore lives
the church, on Christ relying;
his breath of life to us he gives,
our inmost needs supplying.
As truly on the cross he died,
his life not vainly giving,
so truly does he strength provide
for resurrected living.

The living Spirit which Christ sent
within our hearts is moving
that Jesus' life we may present,
his living presence proving.
Our hearts are made the Lamb's true prize
for wounds of crucifxion;
our hearts show forth to others' eyes
the Lamb's own resurrection.

Moravian Bishop August Gottlieb Spangenberg (1704-92)
(Translated by C. Daniel Crews and Nola Reed Knouse)
Copyright 1999 by Moravian Archives (Southern Province) and
Moravian Music Foundation. All rights reserved.

Christ is risen! The world below lies desolate.
Christ is risen! The spirits of evil are fallen.
Christ is risen! The angels of God rejoice.
Christ is risen! The tombs of the dead are empty.
Christ is risen indeed from the dead—
    the first of the sleepers. And glory and power
    are his forever and ever, Amen.

Hippolytus of Rome
found on Bruderhof Communities

Palm Sunday	In Bethany	The Lord Waiting
Washing the Feet	The Last Supper	Good Friday

Holy Week, 2004


Artwork for Holy Week-
Sunday- Yu Jiade (Asian Christian Art Association); Monday- James Tissot; Tuesday- El Greco (National Gallery, Prague); Wednesday- Ford Madox Brown (Tate Collections); Thursday- John Coburn, Australia (Asian Christian Art Association); Friday- Michelangelo (British Museum).

The Jesus Juggernaut
That's what Entertainment Tonight called the steamroller effect that has come along since the opening of Mel Gibson's Movie and the popularity of Joan of Arcadia and The Da Vinci Code. Jesus is now big entertainment business. I wonder... what would Jesus say about it all?

Use filthy mammon to win friends?
Whoever is not against me is for me?
Get behind me, Satan?
Go make disciples?
Blessed are the poor, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven?
Which one of these is being the neighbor?
Sell all you have, give it to the poor and come, follow me?
Blessed are those who haven't seen and yet believe?
It is finished?

The End of Thursday: The Look of Jesus
It is the story that ends Maundy Thursday in the Gospel, even though it is sunrise on Friday. I was moved by Anthony de Mello's reflection on it in his book, The Song of the Bird.

In the Gospel According to Luke we read:

But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are talking about." At that moment, while he was still speaking, a cock crew; and the Lord turned and looked straight at Peter... and Peter went outside and wept bitterly.

I had a fairly good relationship with the Lord. I would ask him for things, converse with him, praise him, thank him...

But always I had this uncomfortable feeling that he wanted me to look at him. And I would not. I would talk, but look away when I sense he was looking at me.

I was afraid. I should find an accusation there of some unrepented sin. I thought I should find a demand therl there would be something be wanted from me.

One day I finally summoned up courage and looked! There was no accusation. There was no demand. The eyes just said, "I love you."

And I walked out and, like Peter, I wept.

Anthony de Mello, The Song of the Bird, pp. 113-114.

As Maundy Thursday changes to Good Friday may we be courageous enough to look at the eyes of love from the Table, from the courtyard, and then, from the cross. Broken for you and me; shed for you and me. Amazing!

The Main Thing
It is one of those truisms that has become a catch-phrase, but the posts from Dying Church and about the Chabad-Lubavitch movement (down the page here a little), brought it to mind:

The Main Thing is to keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

Has a nice ring to it but it is far more important than it even appears. No matter where we are, what we do, where we are going, it is usually very easy to get side-tracked by good things, even important things, even nice things, even helpful things. To get side-tracked by the good, the important, the nice, the helpful means that we are not focusing on the Main Thing. The deeper problem is that the more we have focused on the good, important, nice, and helpful, the more they appear to be the main thing when in fact they are not.

An example- the worship wars have been fought over the style of music. Good music is important. Nice worship can be helpful in leading us to God. But these are not the Main Thing. We get sidetracked from God when we start arguing over these non-main things.

As the post from the other day said:

Our churches, like secular associations, are concerned with fund-raising, beautiful buildings, large numbers, comforting sermons from highly qualified preachers...

No, these are not the Main Thing. But a quick look at the artwork I have been adding for Holy Week says a great deal... as Jesus knelt before his disciples. Let me repeat that as Jesus knelt in front of his disciples. I am sure he was being sincere, honest, and truly acting as a servant. He was not acting a part. He was living it with integrity and honesty and modeling. He didn't do it because someone told him to. He did it because it was the right thing to do. Then he told us that we should do this in his memory as well as the bread and the cup. Whoa!

Now, what was that about the Main Thing?

The Rebbe's Army
To most Gentile-types, and probably to many Jewish-types, the image of the Hasidim is equivalent to our Christian view of the Amish. They got stuck in a previous century and are refusing to get with the modern (let alone post-modern) world. The book I have recently read will change all that. The Rebbe's Army by Sue Fishkoff is a remarkable journey inside the Chabad-Lubavitch Hasidic movement based in Crown Heights, NY. Yes, they are ultra-Orthodox. Yes, they dress quite conservatively. Yes, they seek to follow incredibly strict Jewish tradition. But they also care very deeply about the world, and especially their brother and sister Jews who have not followed the faith. They have become, and pardon the mixed metaphors, the evangelistic movement of Jews to Jews to bring them back to traditional ritual and faith.

They are the heirs of Rebbe Menachem Schneerson. Some have insisted he was the Messiah. Others seek to push that away. He was a remarkable spiritual leader whose influence may be just as strong today as it was when he died in June, 1994. He did more than inspire. He created a movement. Chabad Rabbis are now found in all kinds of places. They go, as young people in their early 20s and plan to live the rest of their lives in their new home. Their goal is to convince secular Jews to practice ritual. The young women hand out Sabbath candles to Jewish women. Young men urge Jewish men to put on the Phylacteries for prayer. They hold Passover Seders in Tibet and Alaska. They have Sabbath meals by college campuses. They are relentlessly energetic and deeply devoted.

Without getting into some of the theological ideas and controversies they cause, I was struck by their incredible devotion! They are devoted to haShem, one of the names they use for G-d. (I am being respectful of their own tradition as I write about them. They, like many Orthodox Jews, will not pronounce the name of G-d, or spell out the word.) The willingness to go somewhere to be the only Orthodox Jews in an area, the courage to be as open about being Jewish as they are when many still live in the fear of the shadow of anti-Semitism, the dedication to the community and the leader who inspired it, can make many of us feel like slackers. They have used the Internet and the New York Times to get their work done. They refuse to be turned away.

Any Christian reading the book will need to be open to learning of a way of life and faith that will strike many of us as unusual and difficult to put into our spiritual faith systems. We cannot, however, fail to see the spiritual dedication they have. I wondered from time to time as I read the book if that was how the Jewish people of the early church's era saw the new Christians as they at first sought to renew the Judaism of their day? Not that I am even minimally likening the two movements for they really don't equate on many levels. But the enthusiasm and unwillingness to be set aside, yet treating their fellow Jews with respect and meeting them where they are was an interesting insight.

Read the book. It is remarkable. Go to their web site, www. chabad.org to see how they have done this remarkable task.

Then, if you are Christian, think about how that would play out in our churches and lives. It is humbling.

Not Equipped?
Quite a quote found through The Dying Church and Connexion: A Global Conversation.

Our churches, like secular associations, are concerned with fund-raising, beautiful buildings, large numbers, comforting sermons from highly qualified preachers, while they display indifference to the poor, and to the pariahs in society - drunks, whores, homosexuals, the poor, the insane, and the lonely. Jesus himself would have no place in our all-too-respectable churches, for he did not come to help the righteous but to bring sinners to repentance. Our churches are not equipped to do that sort of thing."
~John White

No comment in this Holy Week other than to watch the events of Thursday and Friday unfold again.

Now HERE'S A Challenge
I can't resist this one. It is powerful stuff from Rosemary Radford Ruether. Whoa! Wait a minute. Don't leave that quickly. Yes, she has been really "out there" with some of her theological statements in the past. But she is a remarkable thinker. At Axis of Logic she has an article that challenges what she calls the "American Messianic Nationalism." It will not sit well with some, yet she explodes some false theological notions that are rampant in some parts of American Christianity. Here is a summary of these four false notions:

1. False Theological Idea One: God chooses one nation above all other nations. In Christian tradition God is a God of all nations. "In Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek": (Gal 3:21).

2. False Theological Idea Two: The United States is God's uniquely chosen nation. Since God is a God of all peoples and loves all peoples equally, God cannot be seen as choosing the United States for some unique mission over other peoples of the world.

3. False Theological Idea Three: Evil is socially located in the enemies of the United States. In Christian teachings all humans are created in the image of God and all have a potential for good and yet all have sinned and fall short of the will of God.

4. False Theological Idea Four: Evil can be conquered by external coercion, ultimately by military force.

Years ago a pastor friend from what was then East Germany challenged my understanding of American Christianity when he said to me that "you Americans have your national ideas of freedom all mixed up with the freedom that Christ gives us. They are not the same!" The unfortunate logical extension of all that is that we get our American Christianity mixed up with it as well. And I'm not just picking on the Religious Right. I have a hunch the Religious Left does the same thing. We see it in the conservative reliance on militarism as a force behind religion and we see it in the liberal attempts to make American liberal "morality" a world norm. (Okay, I can get both sides mad at me in one post.)

In the end it is not about which nation is chosen or which group has the better understanding of human rights or whatever. Nor is it which nation has a bigger, stronger Army. The one time God DID chose a nation it was the oddest bunch of ex-ragtag slaves He could find. They won with the inferior military technology, for example, of trumpeters circling a city and playing loudly. They were given advice from a donkey. Why should we believe that God is going to do it any differently today just because WE happen to be The Superpower.

In the end it is about the People of God, not about nations. It has to do with faithfulness to God in Jesus. Sometimes that means supporting the nation; sometimes it means opposing it. But in the end it means always that Jesus is Lord and all are called to bow before him. We will vehemently disagree with how to do that, but I have a hunch that neither of the sides will find they have THE answer.
Thanks to Michael Bowen at The Gutless Pacifist for the link.

Cinderella Has Left the Arena

Okay, I can breathe again.
But...

# 7 Minnesota Golden Gophers 58
# 2 U Conn Huskies 67

What a wonderful run it has been. Thanks, Gopher Women for a truly special ride. Who would have thought it would have been this close.

Trumped
As others say, life has trumped blogging the past few days. Not in any bad way. My best friend's son came to visit for the weekend, we got together with our daughter who just got a promotion, helped out at an initial event at a local youth center, met a good friend for lunch today, watched basketball on TV. It was a beautiful day in the Twin Cities and a challenging, inspiring Palm Sunday. Life is good.

This will be my first Holy Week not in the parish ministry. Still have things to do, of course. I will direct our Easter Band- a Moravian tradition in many churches as we will go to the cemetery for the end of the Easter Dawn service. I'll talk more about that during the week. But other than attending worship, that will be about it. I did have one of those moments this morning about not serving Communion on a regular basis. That has always been one of those special things about being a pastor. To take the bread and the cup and say those words of institution- body broken, blood shed- is a moment of intense humility and joy. Without getting into a deep theological controversy, I have often felt it was selfish of we clergy to keep that to ourselves. The act of leading the Eucharist may be the most mysteriously wonderful thing that we do in worship, followed closely by baptism.

Which may be why we call them "sacraments"- outward and visible signs of inward and spiritual grace. It's not what I say or do that does anything. It is not a magical, superstitious moment. It is rather one of power lived and shared by God with us. Emmanuel is not just for Christmas. Through the work of the Holy Spirit in baptism and communion God is with us in unique and inspiring ways. To participate in that as a simple servant is beyond words.

No Foolin'...
Thanks to Andrew here is a link to a page of the greatest April Fool's jokes of all time. I remember seeing the #1 hoax- the Swiss Spaghetti Harvest on the Jack Paar Show. And I was listening the day Sidd Finch was introduced. Was fooled, too. At least by NPR. The Spaghetti Harvest is still funny. And I am not foolin'.

All These Questions
I've always been in love with science and the many awesome things that it can show us about the world, large and small, quantum to cosmic. Bill Bryson's book, A Short History of Nearly Everything, is a popular and easy read of all the things from the first moments of a Big Bang to now- and how we have known so little of it for most of the history of science.

...we live in a universe whose age we can't quite compute, surrounded by stars whose distances we don't altogether know, filled with matter we can't identify, operating in conformance with physical laws whose properties we don't truly understand.... [and] you perhaps won't be surprised to hear that ... what we do understand we haven't understood for long.
Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything, p. 172

All the numbers and info that Bryson tells us boils down into that one paragraph and a half. It is humbling to read on many levels. The many brilliant minds who have worked on figuring it all out- and have fallen so short. The many assumptions that sound so completely ridiculous today that once sounded real. The many things that make absolutely no sense but actually happen. That is the universe we inhabit. The incredible mystery of life itself.

Now I know there are those who will use this lack of understanding and the inability to figure it ALL out as proof that science is all wrong. It can start- and restart- the debate of evolution -vs- creation. That is not my purpose. Rather I read these books with a deep sense of awe and wonder in a Creator who can spin such a universe into existence- perhaps with only a word- or a Word.

John 1:1-5 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

This does not negate or seek to prove false the searches of scientists. This does not seek to give a logical, scientific understanding of creation. It is a statement of faith. Faith in One all-powerful, all-knowing creator. I had this wonderful image of God enjoying the search we poor humans go through to try to explain it all. Each new insight opens new doors behind which are more doors and more questions.

In short, for me, God has produced an amazing world that will never cease to amaze me in its complexity and order and life. No, we will never explain it- there will always be mystery. Thank God. And thank YOU, God.